>So, tell me anon, why should I hire you?

>>212889474 (OP)
Because I have the qualifications and am a diligent and responsible person with strong analytical skills…
Wait, fuck, sorry, I misspoke.
I am retarded goycattle who will do as told and never ask for a raise.

Because I will melt you with my raging sexuality

>>212889474 (OP)
You really should smile more, I think your smile would be beautiful. Anyway I take my coffee black, thank you hun. So when is your boss coming, my time is precious and I'd like to take care of this interview fast.

>>212889474 (OP)
I am retarded and you need to reach the disability employment quota.

>>212889474 (OP)
Because I'm brown and I'll obviously report you for racism if you reject me. :)

>>212889474 (OP)
Because I want to worship your feet boss

>>212889474 (OP)
because im nonwhite and you have quotas to fill

>>212889474 (OP)
You shouldn't, I don't want this job and it's your fault

has anyone had an interview with HR?
I've never had that.
most of my interviews are with seniors.
I guess the closest one to the HR memes is when I was being interviewed by some outsourced karens for a government grad job that I didn't get.

>>212889881
First interaction with HR for me was when my contract job changed to permanent position. While signing the contract the HR was being a cunt, but thankfully my bossman was in the signing and demanded that the contract would be changed on the spot for higher engineering grade.

So take note, even if it breaks your soul to be a disgusting yes -man suckup to your bossman, that groveling has a good chance to pay dividends later.

Still felt dirty, and I don't think I can ever wash that stain out of my manliness. Well other than now when I've become lazy and they can't fire me easily because I'm not lazy in agitation department and know that union has my back.

>>212889727
Hey, thats what i'm suppose to say.

>>212889474 (OP)
I am ready to watch you take BBC while sitting back and stroking

Better question: Why shouldn't you?

>>212889474 (OP)
Because you’re a racist if you don’t. Checkmate white cunt.

>>212889474 (OP)
"You mean, why should you let me bring great profits to your company? I think the answer to that question is self-explanatory, to an entrepreneurial boss such as yourself."

because I will work for half
the salary that others are asking

Because I'd be very grateful
Unlike a lot of candidates you see, I do not have many options and so I would be eternally grateful to you
Every day of my life, if I were to get this job, would be filled with praise for the decision you made here, I will pray to God every day to bless you and your descendants forever
Please, bless my poor mother who is worried sick about my lack of gainful employment
You know I can do the job and with my motivation and gratitude I'll do it well

>>212889474 (OP)
Because I will follow you home and rape you if you don't

>>212890270
>an entrepreneurial boss such as yourself
HR bitches only follow the law of ick

>>212889474 (OP)
I don't care but I'd love to take you out on an evening stroll

>>212889474 (OP)
No, you tell me why should I accept this job.

>>212889474 (OP)
>>212889474 (OP)
im good