Why not???

when my mom kicks the bucket so to speak I won't have anything left in this world I care about so I don't see myself sticking around very long

Yeah, this run is screwed. Guess I'll be stuck in samsara for another round.

Maybe if i get married, If i won't, then i will kill myself.

>>212990298 (OP)
Probably, unfortunately

>>212990341
this. the only one i care about. bit of an MAD in their as well, but if she dies there's nothing leff. i'm a sad antisocial person

>>212990298 (OP)
>dad's side die "young"
>mom's side is still kicking
paternal aunt died in her 30s
paternal grandad died in his 60s
dad died in his 40s

i had a mental breakdown when my dad died and i calculated the age difference between when his dad died and when he died - a difference of 16 years
my dad died when i was 21 so 21 + 16 = 37, so if my math checks out i'll die at 37

but i've always been bad at maths so we'll see lol

maybe, loneliness is as bad as smoking 1 pack a day and Im already smoking 1 pack a day so at least I wont suffer from loneliness
>>212990672
that sucks

>>212990672
every street in malaysia smells like tobacco
you guys neeed to stop smoking

I don’t really like thinking about it

no i feel mentally and physically broken
i dreamt i was a vampire last night and that i could fly lol

>>212990298 (OP)
I live in a third world country where manual labor is still the primary job for men here. I don't see myself living till 50 because my back is most likely destroyed by 30.

>>212990298 (OP)
Yes. Most of my great grandparents died in their 90s. I have 3 grandparents still alive, but one of my grandfathers died in his 60s of Parkinson’s.
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