ITT: we make up /int/ news 50 years from now. I'll start.

After 2 weeks the Socialist Union of European Caliphates declared its jihad against the Catholic Empire of Poland finished. Tensions escalated after Polish leader Siemomysł Wiesensztajn declared that he would take back Vatican City "at any price". The absolute monarch of the SUEC, his holy majesty Caliph Mehmet-Mustafa ibn al Müller-Nguyen, urged Greater Israel, where Wiesensztajn is widely speculated to have taken refuge, to hand the Polish leader over. So far there was no response.

This morning the Aryan States of America invaded the Chinese province of Canada. According to Supreme Leader Frederick Reinhard Trump the ASA will no longer sit idly by while White Canadians face "Asiatic oppression". Trump declared: "Since 5:45 a.m. we have been returning the fire, and from now on bombs will be met by bombs." Furthermore Field Marshal Hyperborea-Hadrian Musk added: "If the Allfather wills it the White Liberation Army will make use of Fafnir's Fire". Experts believe that Musk referred to weapons of mass destruction in the form of satellites using focus lenses made of pure amber which energize ether waves in such a way that they interact with Vrill potentials. China is reported to have called in an emergency meeting of BRICS states.

China will fall in 2 weeks, mark my words

OP crowned unfunniest man of all time

>>213384379
This, so much this!
>>213384448
Mad because the Mosque that was erected at the former site of St. Peter's Basilica is the old world's biggest building, eh?

You know, people say Germans have no sense of humour

>>213384932
People say a lot of things.

>>213384238 (OP)
...........................................................................

>everyone has died from global warming

>>213384238 (OP)
Today we remember the 50th anniversary of the terrible Jewish genocide of 2025, where 100 million Jews were killed by horrible Palestinian monsters, an event now commonly known as the second Holocaust. The mandatory auto-flagellation of white people will happen next Saturday.

>>213384448
I think OP is very funny

bet he was giggling while writing all of this

>>213385846
only a little

>>213384238 (OP)
Fun read thanks OP, I'm writing one now but it might take a bit

>>213385705
>>213386581
nice

I had fun writing this, I chudded out hard

BREAKING: National Guard open fire on protesters in Plymouth following mass protests

Gunfire erupts in the Plymouth protests this morning, marking a grim escalation in force by the Government in reaction to the now four weeks of constant protests. The shooting began at 8:35am, the exact cause has yet to be determined, however, multiple eyewitnesses are claiming that the police were firing in an organised formation on unarmed protesters. The death toll has been estimated at a minimum of 13 so far, the youngest of the victims being just 16. (1/2)

>>213387805
The protests originally started in reaction to the declaration of the independence of the city of London by separatist group: The Peoples Islamic Liberation Committee (PILC) on March the 20th. The belief among people that this is the start of the “Balkanization” of Britain is becoming increasingly valid as cities like Manchester and Birmingham are already developing their own copy-cat paramilitary groups divided over ethnic lines. (2/2)

>>213387805
>>213387830
this could very well actually happen

Newsflash, the US Congress has declared Hamburgers as sentient beings and prohibited discrimination against the non-hominids, who identify with the pronouns ham/bur/ger

>>213388127
kek

>>213387883
My guess is the first tactical nuclear war will be before 2030. Lot of low percentage scenarios. Russia and Ukraine. Iran and Israel. China and Russia. Pakistan and India. Food sources are aren't really growing to keep up neither is fresh water sources and alot of things. Weather is becoming more extreme at times, huge dead areas are in the oceans and seas and rivers.
The easiest way to describe it is humanity has come together almost like celestial bodies. Everything has an angular momentum orbiting a core set of belief. The sun was just spinning gas the condensed and went fusion generation time. Planets and moons. It's everything circling around a thing running into each other canceling out angular energy etc becoming a disc collapsing forming a new thing which creates a new cloud which. Orbits.
More matter and energy is being pumped into the area and things are colliding more. There is nowhere to go. Eventually so much mass and energy is in a system it collapses until it becomes a black hole. In this case in political terms that means once an area has to many people and too few resources to hand the geography time and space are flipped and everyone there eventually will just stagnate and die. Everyone will meet the same slow death while the world passes them by. It won't matter their destination in space past the event horizon everyone suffers until the end of their time at the end of history

Welcome to American political science. You can predict crazy crap and it's depressing.