Thread 216658507

scream wanking

SIA-ACCREDITED
INDUSTRY-LEADING
HUMAN FIRE ALARMS

right that's me off to Popeye's

*stands by the thread entrance in a hi-viz saying security*

We at /brit/ wish Nicolas Sarkozy the best post-prison, released a gruelling three weeks in to his five-year sentence.
Stay out of trouble Nick (short for Nicolas)!

the entwife

>>216658546
so they just wander about looking for fires?

>>216658555
now he is reformed

>>216658555
Howlage

all stations lock up and roll check

>>216658572
That's what I used to do when I was in the Fire Brigade

rape time rorke
come here

>>216658555
wonder if he had any wanks when in his little personal cell

those chinese nail places are very popular, but why do women need to have their nails done there?

get the demonic entities propitiated

>>216658555
might rewatch a prophet

this is a dire thread
really disappointed
i pay my dues just like everyone else, be more funny

hows he gonna sign autographs then?

>>216658555
fucking hell how bent is that though? all in plain sight

sky-high teio step
"haha sorry but I am in first place now"
what a poggers skill

tried watching good films but they were all shit

dinner is off.... and now I will have to resort to toast.

>>216658658
There’s a wee chinaman under the desk that licks their fannies.

>>216658572
Yes and if they see one they call the fire brigade
For this job they command 70% of the average wage

>>216658688
toast? For dinner??!

>>216658686
presumably by good you meant good according to general consensus and by shit you meant shit according to your own judgement, otherwise your post makes sense!

>>216658674
shut up toby you tryhard attention seeker

/fr/ laughing at us as per usual.

>>216658681
dont really know what this means but go mousey!

>>216658555
Should’ve been placed with the booty warrior

have nothing better to do than go for a solo incel drink after work
don't want to sit at my desk after sitting at one for work all day like

might try going for GM on one role but cba playing that much

bendy tap tap
timmy viva street haha pangpang

>>216658702
it's all I have........ I shop day by day, never been one for the weekly or monthly shop.

Coincidence?

hes just given up entirely on human language

cant go on a weekly/monthly shop when rorke doesnt drive can he

the horse crip walkin cuh

ZAMN!!

i love catty!

Arse sounds like a gaggle of epileptic geese

reckon you could rape a man into being gay

>>216658760
POV you are a little CPU goblin on the social network reading other CPU globlins notice things like clock cycles and binary

>>216658718
>hon hon hon je bois du vin
not arsed

>>216658787
that's what happens yeah, as any gay man will admit happened

>>216658787
dont think i really understand how it works
intuitively i think no way no how but apparently it happens with some people

obviously

>>216658787
rorke's leading theory on homosexuality, actually

>>216658763
lmao

I see myself as a young Vince McMahon

>>216658810
You damage their sense of masculinity so thoroughly their sexuality gets readjusted to intense humiliation (homosexuality)
Happened to Fran Drescher’s husband after an nword tied him up and raped her in front of him

got proessor of curvature really early and bought it soon after even though super creek is only at half relationship, but I never get extra hints anyway (what I wouldve wanted was right handed turns or gourmad)

>>216658768
met all the family on the weekend parents grandparents brother the lot
here until end of the month

>>216658843
getting molested?

at maccies, anyone want owt

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1762658313994439.webm
https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1762666629400250.webm

>>216658861
Pooing on ladies

i dont even google shit anymore i chatgpt it

*digs too deep and too greedily*

where’s gorpheus?

>>216658863
one of everything

>>216658730
i would occasionally get a drink after my 12 hour shift and just stare off into space

waltziepooed into 600 speed and stam this game just going stamina -> speed hopefully I get a 3* spark :)

>>216658863
repulsive

Those girls are clatty bastards

>>216658896
dont know who gorpheus is

>>216658896
and what of good gorpheus?

it pie night

>>216658890
ai is essentially just a better version of google

>>216658900
>occasionally
I've been drinking 1-4 pints after work everyday for like two weeks now

>>216658863
can see her girl willy

gorpheus? l barely know us!

>>216658863
women are fucking foul

how long would 750 careers take you?
just buy £70 and use7500 carats on running games. get it over with, and a 3* spark is like 100 hours anyways, and you could have maybe 3 of them or something if that many games takes you so long

>>216658931
how was arse lad night last night

unless 7500 is normally like £65, or £70 gets you like 6000 carrots. I guess it could be FOTM (I am just going to suffer with pulls)

Whats that Sauron you find me attractive?

>>216658968
i don't do arses

Is that computer game stuff he’s talking about?

sorry i don't know about umamusume but i know about blue archive

how was day 1 toil freak? you've got day 2 right around the corner hahahaha freak

>>216658991
what not even a gay bentos sex arse pie?

instagram still autoplaying even though i turned it off in permissions

>>216659012
scream

need the /brit/ zesters on all fours PRONTO

>>216659012
already phoned my manager and said i can't come in because my car won't start tomorrow morning, so i've got the day off :)

any waifus

Might buy Sheffield Wednesday and run it in to the ground even harder than wee chinky guy.

Just messaged Peter Hitchens saying he's a big fat autistic loser

>>216659006
for me it's both

>>216658948
done him

hearing unverified reports rorke getting he groove on

for £150 you can play more than 10x the games that veterans have played so far
or the same amount if that is the wins

right then tim e to get ako can ss

>>216659057
cor get those gakis RACED

rorke shoving the One Ring up his arse for a laugh

Toil done
For this day at least
Two days before my long weekend

>>216659048
the escort yeah

>>216659075
is that su

Found out today leftypol had his own cartoon and toy line.

>>216659124
don`t

Worry

ok !!
it`s Nice ..

off for a femcel walk

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1762294176527616.webm
>>>/gif/29745016

you lads ever had any girls try to slip a finger or two into your fudge factory?

>>216659119
whats the escort scene like in india?

>>216659127
cheers mate been in a panic all day over this

>>216659131
29 KHHV me

Took the Tadalafil
Didn't work. Erection was still meh and weakened as I was shagging the missus.
Maybe I don't have a problem and I'm just not attracted to my wife anymore?

>>216659122
…yh

>>216659131
>you lads ever had any girls
nah

>>216659149
nearly gagged just reading this as I eat my biscuits and drink my milk

Tom Bomtadalafil

There were some fucking BADDIES at the ren faire god damn

Who knew attractive women go to those things

>>216659166
then does that mean........

!

im 29 years old and never had a gf NOT EVEN CLOSE

why my cat so cute

Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Arse

>>216659166
go to odaiba

for all my dislike of Indians I have to say I do like a chicken madras and keema naan

>>216659185
love your doegs swedish bloke

>>216659059
I'd love to become a defensive mid of Athleti and just break lamine cuckmal's legs

Rorke just chilling there like "yeah, the president of a foreign nation can just dictate who runs our public TV"

>>216659185
would have him chopped up and made into tesco's finest "beef" burgers

what's with all the schizoposting

sudo cp

suelad bombing japs from his wee rorke air force biplane

My little man

>>216659215
no you wouldn’t, you are not going to do anything but waste away in your dimly lit little childhood incelroom

when you spot a cool job with accommodation but the accommodation is you actually sharing a bedroom with 3 other people.... no thanks chaps! cool location and cool job but i'm too autistic with that and also when happens when I get a wet dream in the middle of the night that'd be awkward

>>216659200
That's his weekend sorted ahah

>>216659012
actually I had Monday off

my first s speed og cap in a while

>>216659227
little man on a restful one

>>216659200
were staying in asakusa when we go tokyo which is fairly near
went to odaiba with ky years ago its ok but nothing special i would say we’ll be going other pkaces

>>216659227
rorkeish cat!

Gundam more like gaydam

this isn't suelad, his filenames were like Sue no. 8763017

>>216659173
what biscuits you having?

just got the quick rundown on gaddafi from chatgpt

sorted my weekend ahah

>>216659277
he said he was going to delete all those folders a while ago (sad but true)

*ears perk up*

where does one find a gf like this in the uk

>>216659149
done on the down-low but those in the know know
where i live if you're rich enough, 'models' as they're called will sleep you on your first date

handsome chap

>>216659223
missing some arguments on that one lad

what's caused john cleese to start JQ posting on x (formerly twitter)

>>216659277
im on my ipad which means im in lieu of my collection

sad but sue

gorpheus? are you there?

>>216659131
can fit more than a finger

>>>/gif/29774047

>>216658954
reminds me of that webm of some lads sitting on their mates face while he's holding a barbell
or shoving a rubber cock they found on a construction site up their arse
etc

>>216659292
do you paint those?

>>216659292
you going to play with that?

Who is voting Green then?
*Raises paw*

>>216659298
never said any such thing (check the archives) just that would conceal them from public view via hard drive backup

are you on /gif/ outside of wanktoil hours or are you mid-wanktoil but still posting in /brit/
both strike me as odd, I must say

Why didn't the Tadalafil work?

>>216659342
it's partially painted like the eyes (fluorescent), metallic and red parts

A little bit of effort goes a long way

>>216659351
ah
gomenasai
*bums your new japs arse respectfully*

>>216659369
different drugs on different people

>>216659331
Poor lad. Reckon he needs checking for worms

>>216659369
doesnt work on gays

I am of the few extremely online men without ADHD, autism, aspergers, histrionic personality, or sexual queerness.

>>216659284

>>216659307
lovely doeggy :D

Honestly can see why Eastern Europeans hate Russians.

>>216659376
cringe

>>216659421
Would not have guessed seeing as you've posted this willingly

Bradley Walsh

would Love
/Brit/ !!

>>216659381
Such a boring NPC outfit I wouldn't even notice you

>>216659435
why is british cuisine so inferior to jap cuisine
how comes japs could invent umami but we can't what sets us apart

goodnight lads l'll be back 2moro to post more slop

snopwongle
kibberflimp
hoshfler
plem

>>216659479
Ok See

You

tomorrow .. !!

>'I think it's worth worrying about' PETER HITCHENS says Trump will 'try quite hard' to have a third term in the White House and here's how he'll do it

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15276007/Video-think-worth-worrying-PETER-HITCHENS-says-Trump-try-quite-hard-term-White-House.html

>>216659475
That's quiet luxury

>>216659476
Worcestershire sauce has umami.

>>216659484
if these were preceded by the word racist you'd have some good insults that would do numbers on reddit

>>216659476
Marmite is more umami than any JAP foodstuff

>>216659463
lol the faces hed make at some of our posts :P
imagine all the innuendos he can make out of our posts about wanking!

Rorke suspiciously silent, turns out... he's meditating... pure fucking zen like

>>216659331
why is he doing this? is he searching for something there?

馬見

>>216659500
No you're quite obviously attempting the quiet luxury look. It's cosplay

>>216659381
Corrr I see that bulge mate ;) cheeky x

it's funkover
I am ruined
they were supposed to pay for my retirement...

ordered one of those wanking contraptions you can control remotely from lovense
up to 10 people can join
corr imagine posting a link here when steaming and 10 of you lads are controlling the vibrating cock sleeve my knobule is in

>>216659537
man like rorke becoming one wiv da universe 'n' dat

choon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SRoLLy5Vu0

>>216659628
We never got a Poleaboo Funko Pop.....

>>216659628
is it true if you cut their heads open they have stuff inside?

OK I will use it! (guest legacy also has right handed)

>>216659381
is that one of them coats you polish with wax? looks alri ngl

>>216659628
they'll be more collectable if the company goes under

>>216659675
It

looks Lovely !!

wait it doesnt have right handed! nvm1

the actual horse legacies

>>216659628
Ok I will buy some

>>216659675
all literally you horse :3

Genuinely what even is British culture
And don't give me some vague shit that could apply to any western country

>>216659381
shadow makes it look like you wet yourself

I think trying to see an escort has been the worst mistake of my life.

I genuinely don't know how I'll recover from this.

>>216659768
cutting the half time orange

>>216659764
true
rerolling the line because she got 2* stamina spark (or speed maybe). I wanted to get rid of the 1* wit, and the guest legacy has 3* wit :D goes hard

>>216659789
Fantastic post tbf

to sad about funko pop to post proply
>>216659797
>>216659808
Im to sad sorry

>>216659785
Try not posting about it that might help

>>216659768
wanking with your mates at a sleepover but then never mentioning it again as adults

>>216659785
bin the adultwork account or app or whatever it is
go cold turkey, move on
get on Steam
Tales of Xillia Remastered
Download it
Get it played
That is how you recover

I want you to get the word out: we back
- Zack Polanski

>>216659381
Mallardlad?

>>216659816
sorry for your lost x

we major

>>216659838
this never happened to me but I do remember once we did a camping trip and we thought it would be well funny to illuminate our tents and wank so the girls could see our wanking silhouettes
which now I think about it is quite odd

should I be trading in support cards (will it help me get 3* king halo) or does the uncap level matter when cards not in your deck proc

the day they raped sadiq khan

we sports resort

>>216659922
whoever suggested that is gay lol
absolute_cinema.jpg

>>216659974
LOL

had x4 beers

so it turns out the new downstairs neighbour has a fit daughter

of course I shan't be saying more than three words to her but I thought I'd mention it anyway

>>216659979
kill yourself

>>216659923
>should I be trading in support cards
no unless you have more than MLB
>will it help me get 3* king halo
no
>does the uncap level matter when cards not in your deck proc
no

wish i had a robot mate
hed save me from the other robots after the clanker uprising plus i just think it would be a blast

>>216659991
scream

>>216659988
Asahi per chance?

>>216659996
then I will trade my MLB dupes!
I want king helo 3* ... (also have a good uma for his legacy with og cap)

>>216659974
scromndjfng

>>216659991
LOL

>>216659990
time to get naughty anon

>>216659991
LOL

>>216659990
How old x

the cronem arent kicking pon ball tonight

>>216660018
kirin

>>216660064
my estimate is late teens

almost drank tonight but decided to be good instead x

everyone shut the fuck up for a second I'm trying to think

how come all the teen criminals in peep show are white chavs
i thought it happened in london, why arent they jamaicans. unless croydon was white twenty years ago

having an evil goblin wank

>>216660086
right well I don't have any trivia for that one so I shall be making it up
Did you know they named their company Kirin because it means giraffe and they believed their beers could reach new heights? (like a giraffe's neck)

>>216660142
don't give me that look

>>216659844
Is it good?
I feel so pathetic at the minute that even games don't motivate me.

uncomfortable and slightly nervous catto

rorke's neighbour telling his daughter to stay away from the weird bloke upstairs

you are all jealous

>>216660117
what ya thinking about?

nigga name zack

28lb mortar on m4 iphone

ballzack

>>216660260
you need to be killed

reminder to report whatever bix nood shit the BE flag is posting right now

>>216660279
mew

it came to my attention that this nigga's name is, in fact, keir

>>216660303
sex sex

>>216660307
telling you no hes gonna divorce usha and marry erika kirk

>>216660289
bit rude

>>216660271
The upset over this programme was fantastic

>>216660307
…bruh

irl silence sazuka rp softcore porn sex

>>216660344
you are an evil pedophile rapist

>>216660403
irl silence suzuka was a stallion

might go get a box of wine

>>216660426
dam

sir box wine

m4 bus 25
swift initiation scheduled

>>216660429
how about you go get a sense of class instead

cor imagine the size of his dih

another post hidden

>>216660429
hope you'll be living in a box soon enough
vile alchie worm

vigorous kinetic movements & MLE audible from upstairs? yes!
timmy muffling it with gay anime? absolutely!

>>216660480
another timmy mental health filter LOL

hi guys!!!

>>216660528
hai!!! :D

>>216660429
you're such a wretched little urchin mate

another reminder that you arent welcome here

been bloated all day
just got home and done a mega fart, must have been 2 minutes long
feeling better now

>>216660525
mmhmm but he cant filter allat onyx outta 3pm

>>216660573
2017 November 1, Byker, “Excreeshia gets an extra $600 on her EBT card by mistake and chimps out”, in alt.politics.usa[4] (Usenet):
I could barely understand any of that bix nood. I wonder if the fish hooks in its bootlips had anything to do with that. I want to see the chimpout when they correct the error next week after the coon has already niggered the money away. I can't wait for part II when somebody finds the glitch and yanks it back out and/or adjusts her future handouts until she "pays back" everything she spent...

eNIGma

>>216660583
um x

>>216660583
poor spacker horse

foden pony

timmy rn at pangpang massage shop

in my twisted evil lab creating fodenponies

>>216660623
a fody?

>>216660601
Love that monkey lad Hanuman me

seggs

no ponies

Ok we should

Play
a Football
Match .. !!

the 21st of every month one <3

>>216660708
on her way to heem rorke no doubt
>>216660716
correctly identified a picture of him at the corner shop the gentleman there must think im a neek

>>216660737
we should be allowed to post them, as a treat

when have I ever done ".."

Killed a man from Devon in January 2023 in self-defense.

OK brb going to go eat marzipan and artificial sweeteners in energy drink
which tastes better than crack by the way

>>216660716
he can make any part of his body big or small
were i he i'd make my hands small to make my wang feel bigger when i wank

>>216625423
>>216625423

sniped another vodka race
saw sois in her outfit looking realyl sad :( 13th favorite to win. poor literal NPC

>>216660797
don't think you're supposed to eat crack

the race on turn 2 of the "starts in two turns" of the beach rec event is right handed!

ahh the archived new gimmick

get it made

ayo where the new at

>>216660886
which pony do you relate to the most

blegh

vgh

ough

oughh he wants to be enemies !!

and the new?

get to 400

he needs this

so this is it. the last /brit/.

>>216661140
>>216661140
>>216661140

>>216660651
cockmogs me!

>>216660086
>not suntory THE MALTS
shaking my head tbdesu