>>64077007
be FLN
win war against the French after 8 years of getting bombed, burned, and tortured
finally free in 1962
time to build glorious socialist Algeria™
first move: nationalize literally everything
"the land belongs to the people"
also the oil, the factories, the bakeries, and your cousin's tire shop
evict half the French population overnight
no more colonists = no more middle management, doctors, or mechanics
but hey we have revolutionary spirit and desert wheat experiments
create a 5-year plan
Step 1: import Soviet tractors
Step 2: forget to import spare parts
Step 3: run them until they explode
farmers now herding goats around broken combine harvesters
FLN cadres have no idea how an economy works
but they do know how to shout “imperialism!” when food runs out
form "people's committees" to decide who gets flour and petrol
the guy with the most cousins always wins
launch massive industrialization drive
funded by oil money and dreams
build a steel plant in the middle of nowhere
no roads, no skilled labor, no iron ore
“it’s symbolic” they say, as the generator explodes
meanwhile FLN leadership flying to Belgrade and Cairo to attend anti-colonial brunches
wear sunglasses indoors and quote Fanon
“we will be the Japan of Africa”
more like the DMV of the desert
1970s: oil prices spike
suddenly we ballin’
import BMWs and Soviet tanks
every minister has 3 villas and a personal poetry advisor
agriculture? still a mess
food? mostly imported
but don’t worry, state-run TV says everything is fine
economy starts collapsing by the 80s
blame: Zionists, CIA, French ghosts, the weather
never the part where you replaced technocrats with your nephew who studied “revolutionary dance theory” in Prague
mfw socialism is easy when oil is $100/barrel