>>64259925
be me
Army supply sergeant, Fort Nowhere
life used to be simple: boots, socks, a few gallons of CLP
then “tank modernization initiative” drops
now I have to track 47 flavors of Abrams
first upgrade: slap on some TUSK armor
easy, right?
nope.jpg
two dozen pallets of “reactive armor tile, left-handed” and none for the right side
tank crews rolling around looking like half-armored Mad Max props
next program: “Urban Survival Kit”
literally just a snowplow bolted to the front
engineer tells me “it’s basically innovation”
costs more than my house
command decides to experiment
“let’s stick Trophy APS on it, like the Israelis”
APS arrives, but only three units
now I’m issuing a sign-out sheet for anti-missile systems
“hey Sarge, can my platoon borrow the one working APS this week?”
“nah, 1st Cav still has it checked out, due back Thursday”
it spirals out of control
“Future Vertical Integration Kit” = a drone duct-taped to the commander’s hatch
“Stealth Option” = rattle cans of Krylon from Home Depot
guy in R&D insists it makes the M1A2 “fifth-gen”
I just nod and initial the paperwork
budget season comes
half my warehouse filled with spare turbine engines, half with unmounted machine guns
still no replacement socks for the grunts
priorities.txt
eventually crack under pressure
stop calling myself Sergeant
start calling myself “M1A2 (she/her)”
apply CARC paint as war paint
crew hears me making “whrrr–clunk–turret spin” noises in the motor pool
tell junior NCOs my pronouns are “Abrams/Abrams-self”
they salute me because Army regs haven’t caught up yet
final straw
Pentagon memo: “Next upgrade program: hybrid electric Abrams”
they hand me a box of Prius batteries and say “make it work”
tfw I’ve become the first openly trans-tank in U.S. service
tfw budget line item lists me as “experimental platform, 1 ea.”
tfw I finally belong