Thread 64451908

Stop fucking shooting out of the interior window. I don't care if you're shooting straight up, that shit comes back down eventually and I'm tired of finding lead in my laundry. Don't make me come down there again.

That's it dickhead, you put a hole through my boxers you're gonna fucking die

good news anons
I have figured out how to repair and operate the retractable roof over the central interior shaft
if we all pile our respective stashes of CS gas together we should now be able to make the greatest hotbox of all time!

Notice:
I think I dropped my grenade. If you live on a floor between 340 and 360, you might want to take cover from the shrapnel

>>64451908 (OP)
I didn’t move up to room 148 to STILL hear screaming in the room next to me. QUIET DOWN

>>64451908 (OP)
Will whoever is pissing out their window stop?
>gravity
>and horizontal velocity
>bring your piss to my window
t. should have realized what "ground floor" means in a deep hole context

>>64451908 (OP)
Guys I think the w'rkncacnter that lives at the bottom of the tower woke up again, I tried walking up the stairs between floors 412 and 413 and noticed there were 7 extra floors in between them now. The good news is that all the ammo seems to be duplicated on the floors so if anyone needs any extra 7.62 I've got a bunch now!

Residents located between floors 261 and 278, we're banning the use of the word, "Opp" until the shooting stops. You do not have enemies. Stop shooting them.

>>64452440
No I won't also can someone stop by the merchants shop and grab me a pack of cigarettes any brand except menthols, thanks

The Silicon Creatures are in the walls
again

I think I lost a contact lens. Anybody seen it?
t. floor 127

Is there any credibility to the rumours that the ground at the centre of the building is actually a missile silo?

>>64452831
There's ground?

>>64452831
its a trash heap

My roommate tied all our bedding together as a parachute and jumped, anyone seen him around floor 50? He promised to call. Also, anyone know where to get more bedding?

>>64453258
oh so thats who went crunch on my balcony. do you care if the sheets are red and yellow now?

Floor 520 resident here, been hearing scratching sounds from the floor, might be from 519. Pipe down please, I'm trying to sleep. Also whoever lives down there take a fucking shower, you smell like wet dog and mildew, and I’m tired of that shit wafting through my window

>>64453155
There oughta be something down there

>>64453213
it's a missile covered in 23 tons of trash

>>64453363
my grandpa told me it goes to the center of the earth and then up the other side, if you jump you just bounce back and forth
but he was on that slow-mo, I don't think he ever went lower than 78th floor

>>64451908 (OP)
Kris?

>>64451908 (OP)
Does anyone on floor 432 feel like the floor keeps changing? every time I leave my room its like the hallway keeps changing directions, just yesterday it felt almost an hour long, but I was fucked up that day. I was with a dude on 372 getting drunk and he thought I was insane, I also told him I occasionally hear growling noises and he told me to fuck off at that point. Anyways on the way back I found a bunch of vog-25 nades on floor 412 so I should be good

>Fires a 2S4 from the center
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zJDqHwa9xVY
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG
(Y'know, I hope that has enough vertical clearance...)

>>64452559
ate it, sorry

Whoever keeps fucking with my shortwave antennas on the roof, bring bomb disposal next time. one wrong touch and you'll get an eagle eye view of the area, nigga

I went down to floor 58 on a dare. I live on 333 for reference. Did you know that it's freezing cold down there? There's hoarfrost on the walls from the breath of the deep denizens. It's deadly silent too. I could hear my heart beat in the back of my head as I got closer, clutching my 10/22 close. The only thing I heard after floor 96 was a leaky pipe, I had to sing show tunes to myself to keep away the madness. Dark as well, I brought a lantern or I wouldn't be able to make it past 80 or so. I couldn't muster the courage to go beyond 58. There was a maggot-encrusted corpse on the floor, another, fresher corpse had its teeth buried in it's chest. I screamed and ran all the way up to 75 before I could find an elevator that worked. I could hear something behind me so I shot off a 10-round mag into the darkness. I heard shuffling away from me after the last round was gone, followed by the drip of blood. I'm all sore now from running, It feels worse than when I fell 5 floors down after I drank too much near the window. I told my friend that dared me to go kill himself.
P.S. whoever is 8 or so floors above me stop fucking trying to hit those geese flying south. You're not gonna fucking get one.

>>64453822
The whole area between 50 and B-50 are a dead zone. I feel bad for the people that got stuck below ground; we do our best to keep the air exchange working but eventually something is going to go wrong somewhere that maintenance won't be able to reach. Hopefully they figure something out down there before it's too late.
t. Facilities mechanic

Any of y'all find that elevator that takes you all the way down to floor "-135"? I found it while cruising around floor 347 and took it out of boredom. Crazy stuff down there. Found a box filled with lugers that I wanted to take back up with me but got chased out by this Balrog lookin thing, whip and all. Fun fact, 7.62x54R is NOT adequate to stop a Balrog!

>>64453909
The elevators that go below ground were all supposed to have been filled in but there are a few that keep moving around. If you go back where you found it I guarantee you it's going to be a 10-floor dumbwaiter or paternoster instead.

>>64452440
>ground floor
Bullshit, nobody's seen that for centuries.

>>64453924
>The elevators that go below ground were all supposed to have been filled in but there are a few that keep moving around.
>If you go back where you found it I guarantee you it's going to be a 10-floor dumbwaiter or paternoster instead.
Admin tried putting out rewards for reports, but stopped because of this. Maintenance in general on lower levels stopped because of weird shit like this. It was fucking pain in the ass trying to set up the 2nd and even 3rd Gen HVAC systems because the 1st Gen one kept fucking attaching itself to them and pumping low levels of chemical agents (basically samplings of every one you could imagine), and only stopped when it seemed to kill itself with N-Stoff one day.
Also had instances of random pipes becoming pneumo-tubes to god knows where. If you find a container, as far as we can tell from reports, you have a 1 in 3 chance of a autocannon shell, a free grenade of varying type, or a live grenade of varying type.

>>64453924
>>64454045
You should take the next elevator you find bring friends many friends it is good down here send more maintenance workers we need maintenance as well send bunches and groups and take the elevators take them below to us below deep down take the elevators the ammo stocks are good we have ammo come down below to us with the elevators take them to us

>>64454077
Yeah nah I'm throwing a few cans of mustard gas down the next elevator shaft I see, hope it ruins the day for some of you fucking mutants

To: somebody above level 48
From: somebody below level 48
Please stop letting your fucking toe nail clippings fall over the rail. It's disgusting.

>>64454903
> dumps the whole clip
What are you going to do about it?

>>64452483
>reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>get out normie judges!

>the guy living in my walls at floor 153
Whoever it is, I am *this* close to shooting you. If I hear one more sound at 3 am I am taking out the Benelli.

>>64453939
It's always somebody's first day managing the bottomless pit

GUYS IF YOU COULD STOP THROWING TRASH DOWN HERE THAT WOULD BE GREAT THE PLEAS COMING FROM THE FLOORS BELOW STOPPED A WEEK AGO AND IT'S ABOVE MY WINDOW NOW

we went to b -250 and my squadmate had a breakdown
(pic related)

couldn't find the bar

Found- Lost Dog
Answers to Faggot so I figure its one of you guys down on 472
The zipperheads on 474 say they'll give me $20 a pound otherwise so come get your animal

I found these old servers down on 127
Any idea what a meatspin is?

>>64451908 (OP)
This would have been the best counter strike map

Err anons, I recommend everyone stay out the basement levels!

>>64453890
Never happening. Doesn't matter anyways because there's clearly some holes down there. Word is that there are enclaves, but word is also that they aren't human anymore.

It's an open secret that admin are planning to make a second zone from 51 to 99; frankly we've been lucky to hold the tenuous grip on them, "minor" intrusions not withstanding. We call it the "dying" zone.
God bless the enclosed stairways, meant once upon a time as fire exits. They're strong enough to survive an explosion, inside the building or inside the stairway itself. They've been fortified in part because they're one of the few things we actually managed to plug; at multiple points you have to take platform elevators we nigger-rigged through a hatch. Landings below 50 have been slagged with thermite and other exotic compounds, so going deeper requires the use of unenclosed stairs.
From these we can strategically launch "maintenance excursions," usually to cull "legacy infrastructure" (we slag it with explosives or thermite) or things causing problems. Rarely, very rarely, does an excursion ever actually fix anything, though when we do it's something precious (like the ancient sewage drainage, or the intra / extranet connections. Takes too fucking long, attracts shit you don't want to fight (keep in mind excursions usually have no less than 30 guys). Never goes below 50.

my advice to tourists? Don't go below level 97, where the last outposts are, don't stray from the enclaves around the stairways. Bring nothing less than thermals. Never stop walking unless you're in a well lit area with *verifiable* people.
Ignore any sounds from the pipes. Do not respond, IN ANY WAY, to noises from the pipes, pretend as well as you can that they are not making noise. They do not carry water.
Stop trying to go down here to murder hobo. It's already full of things way better than you at it, that do not need guns.
>>64456312
bullcrap
This is level 52 type shit., there isn't even any dead murderhobos.

Has anyone been to Stairway G? I'm in it right now, I am in some odd market and I keep getting told it's 1979 and it's sirte in arabic.

>>64456540
They took stairway G off of all the new maps for "security" reasons but I'm not sure whose security they meant. All I know for sure is that there's a shipping room somewhere down there that still holds crates of Slavshit addressed to the Provos. I'm pretty sure it's been forgotten, I go down there a few times a month and sell the RPGs I find to those guys near the roof who like to take pot shots at passing aircraft.

>>64456573
Well, I think I passed that. But there is sand now. Tons of fucking sand. And I went back to the the door... It's not there anymore.

>>64456356
If only you knew of the horrors that were down below!

>>64456691
>upies acting as tourists when come down here

least funny thread up on /k/eddit right now

>>64456705
That would be any of the 20+ ukraine threads.

>>64457467
No, those are pretty funny.

Been dropping firecrackers out the window after I light them, think they’re detonating around floor 213. Can anyone confirm?

>>64457467
Whats a you crane?

>>64452490

Do we need to defrost the battleroids out of stasis to set off a SADM down there AGAIN? Last time they rewrote the timeline!

>>64456540
Yeah man, you need to go west a few blocks if you want to go up. G has been discontinuous for months now. Can you grab me a AK or mosin while you're down there? I can pay you in canned corn and 40 mm grenades, but the slam bang I've been using to hunt pigeons is wildly insufficient to deal with the wall crawlers and I blew up half my fucking apartment getting the last one out.

>>64453462
deltatroon?

who left this shit in my mail box again?
I'm gonna do a fucking dna analysis and I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN

Hey guys im going to be gone for halloween but I'll leave a bowl of mortar shells and some 8mm Lebel for any kiddies trick or treating please be considerate and dont take too much thanks

>>64455850
>Any idea what a meatspin is?
A game of bingo gone horribly wrong.

>>64458415
>shit in my mail box again?
You think that's bad? somebody is shitting in the top loading washer we use on the 200 level.
>it's hell on chili night

>>64458766
nah
it's like doing the A-B-C
except you just keep counting numbers instead of letters
also there's dick

>>64451908 (OP)
I'm not crazy. Four months ago i hid some MREs on the roof, wanted to see if they changed at all.
First trip up there and the roof was on floor 1375.
Second trip, 1388.
Third trip, 1352.
Fourth trip, 1376.
The floors keep changing. There's more, then less. I know i counted it correctly. Has anyone else noticed this shit? Why are the newly existing floors already occupied and run down? Where did they come from - and where do they disappear to?
Ps: the mres change if exposed to the elements. Pic rel is after 4 months on the roof, it started as beef stroganoff.

Anyone know where the moonshiners down on 151 get their molasses from? I want to make some Boston beans but none of the bodegas or markets seem to have any. I tried to go down and ask them but someone started shooting at me as soon as I tried to get off the elevator.

>>64454936
>clip

>>64459003
Pretty sure they grow and make it themselves in the rear areas. Bakeries by 167 apparently buy their sugar directly from the 150s.

>>64458935

It's that fucking W̸̧͓͇̱̘̩͍̼̼̭͋̏̑̀'̶͍̪͙͎̤̐̆͛́̎̈͆̔̀͜ͅr̶̨̠͚̝̩̬̗̈̏̏̃͐̊̿͆͂̀̓̊͝k̷͚͔͊̉ņ̷̢̧̨͇̖̮̹̳̺͗̔̐͆͒͘c̷̨̫͇͍͉̻̦̗̖̟̜̟͓͊̓͗̈́͐̐̔̇̕͘͜a̷̛͉͓̭̙̎̏̓͑̄͒́̔̐̌̏͑͑̚ͅc̸͉̯̠̀̆́͊͘͘͜n̵̨̢̡͙͚͉͖̩͚͈͕̖͌̾͐̀̀͐̂͌̍͐̾̈͗̐͝t̵̢̨̡͇͔̱̟̥̩͆̑̂̓͜ȩ̸̢̨̟̥̠͕̠̙͖͎̤͖͔͉̄́ͅr̶͈͍̃̽̃̓͠ again. Someone wake up the security officer out of stasis so he can stun it with a forehead SADM again.

I don’t remember what the sun feels like. Sometimes, I can almost fool myself into thinking I saw a sliver of its light, far above me.

>>64459003
It's the brown honey from the trash bees in the basement. Tasty though.

>>64451908 (OP)
The biomass in the basement ate another cat, this is getting out of hand, I tried shooting at it, but to no effect.

>>64459003
>moonshiners down on 151
>moonshiners on 151
>moonshiners 151
You should see what the whores on 69 do.

>>64459361
Rattle off a month's supply of ammo non-stop, then put the barrel to your skin. Basically the exact same sensation as a sun beam.

I'm up on 294, and have any other anons noticed anything weird with the water here? I got up to grab some the other night. It caused me to black out. When I came too, I was all the way down on floor 23 with some kind of strange sigils tattooed onto my arms and of more concern, a suspiciously sore asshole.

>>64452831
>>64453213
sanitation engineer here. this is basically correct, the trash in central has almost reached 50. I've never seen anyone down there that wasn't on a work crew. I was talking to some superintendents a while back and they said the sub basements go down at least a hundred floors. Apparently there's a whole eco system and the air is corrosive, but they're probably full of shit.

>>64453522
>I've been to the roof
yeah right. no one on this board has been past 700, let alone 100

>>64454077
>t. sentient garbage pile
don't do it anon, sanitation engineer carry flamethrowers for a reason.
>>64460011
it's not corrosive, it's acidic. the carnivorous biomass releases aerosolized LSD to subdue prey while it digests them.

t. maintenance

Anyone been to floor -32,676? Shit's wild down here. Need a SADM quick because that fucking Ḏ̸̢̢͓͇̮̥͉̣͙̠͈̍͆̈͊́̔͌̈͑̓͜͠ŗ̵̨̢͉̭̙͙͇̱̫̖̫̣̠̎̽̄͒͂̌͐̊̂̾̋̇͐ẹ̵͚͓̇́̂á̴̢̠̹̼͎̬̠̭̞̱̫͔̿͐͂̀̈͊͜m̴̡̨͇̹̃̾̇̈̂́͘͜͝ͅị̵̫͉͓̪̟̼̭̟̰̳͓̑̃̈́͌͌͌̇͜n̷̛̫͚̱͈͙̟͖̠͛͆͐̐̋́͆͛̈́̂̕͜͠ǧ̴̩͕̐̀̈́̌͠ ̵̡̞̥̣̼͔̥̤͚̄͊̚ͅͅG̷̪̥̙̗̒͆̀̊̕ỡ̸̡̛̛̛̺͉̰̖̱͛̂̽͊̽̀̽d̵̛̪̳̠̝̟͐̍̄̋̓͆̉͑̑̃̄͂͘ is waking up and only a tacnuke or bigger will stun it until those fucking Jjaro can put it to sleep for another few millennia.

I don't know about the bullshit happening on the lower floors, but we're having a birthday party for Harold on floor 444. We have plenty of cake and semen-free brownies, feel free to stop by and have some.

>>64459537
I keep telling you guys, you need to use flame or corrosives if you want to make a dent. You think I'm distilling the ammonia out of pee for a giggle? That shit does a decent bit of damage to most of the nastier things below, if you get it concentrated enough.

Some drugged up dude from the upper floors staggered into my shop and demanded some weird tats on his arms and his fucking asshole of all places. Is this what you freaks are into up there?
Jokes on him though, I charged him triple

If you've left your keys on floor 740 in the showers, I dropped them off at the reception along with your clothes

>>64460000
aren't you the asshole who got drunk and pestered that Zvoolt Matriarch to peg you the other day?

>>64451908 (OP)
>2025
>not wearing lead-lined undergarments to protect from reptilian gamma beams

>>64460987
reptilian audio beams man

Bloc party on floor 65 later, bring your own guns and booze. Jerky and accordions will be provided

>>64453939
Yeah well I did

>>64459003
>but someone started shooting at me as soon as I tried to get off the elevator.
Good. Learn your place

How I got here and where is the fucking bathroom.

>>64460011
>no one on this board has been past 700
Look brother, just because the Sky Kings won't let you use their rooftop access elevator doesn't mean it's inaccessible. Go to the south end of the building and look for stairwell 8U, take it up until you get to the landing with the exterior window. Take the catwalk across ventilation shaft 11, and there will be a service elevator there that will take you to the atrium that's 10 floors below the roof. From there you'll need to pick a stairwell because they all lead to different rooftop zones.
Just be careful if you make the climb, the crazies that make it up there have been known to bearhug residents and jump off with them.

>>64452519
>some jackass with a GBE just ND'd a hole through my wall
>and my neighbor's wall
>and my neighbor's neighbor's wall
>and the next few thousand down the corridor
I fucking hate this place, I've been living here for years and I've still never met anyone who knows the wifi password.

>>64458935
The ground floor isn't real anon, stop spending so much time up there lest you end up like that MRE.

>>64461139
What the fuck, you get wifi? I had to duel my hall neighbor for dibs on the only cable.

God I love shitting over the rail. It's by far the best way to put the underdwellers in their place

>>64462028
you need to cut down on the fiber
I've noticed blood splatters

Attention mirror holders on floors 145, 192, 210 and 233; we need to adjust our angles as The Beam is no longer reaching the upper third of the tower. Please let everyone know your availability so we can set up a coordinated effort.

Does anyone know why level 317 is so much warmer than the surrounding floors? I was visiting a grid friend and it was a fucking sweat box

>>64462334
That's where they keep the gooner bio-batteries, scattered all over the floor. It's not on any of the public maps so you can be forgiven for thinking it one of the more """normal""" floors.
Not that you would want to stumble into one of 'em, anyway.

>>64459911
Ahhhh! It burns so good. It burns so good! Praise the sunbeam! Praise ammo! THE LIGHT IN THE DARK IS MUZZLE FLASH AND IT WILL PURIFY YOU!

Top floor anon here. This is a message stating to all the floors below me to state that it did not rain 3 days ago and I truly apologize.

>>64456691
>>64456312
I forget that you lower levelers still think those are the basements, or that the ground floor is the ground floor

>>64462366
Ignorant fools. There is no bottom. THERE IS NO BOTTOM! The deeper you go, the stranger it gets. There are things dwelling here that I think were once human. Their eyes have long shriveled and gone, for they have no need of them here. You have to ward them off with light; it burns them. Should your lantern ever go out, they’ll drag you away.

Praise the sacred NODs, for they protect against the hidden terrors. Forever keep the candles lit and safe from the falling filth, for they are the shields against the creeping evils. Always keep your weapons maintained and loaded, for the battle never ends.

>>64462381
No. Stop freaking the under roomers out. The bottom floor is just a normal lobby. You do have to get through the garden of eden starting from floor 10 and ending at the lobby, those elves really get pissy if you go to their territory

>>64462444
They are welcome to come verify it for themselves. The stairways are broken and treacherous, but we can always use new soldiers in the dark.

>>64455656
moo deng!!!!!!

>>64462495
This poster is a female elf. They constantly say things like this to get the most fit and adventurous to come and fufil their weird adventurer fetish. Do not get fooled as they are massive man eaters that post femcel garbage on their private Forestchan everytime they get rejected by someone just trying to go to the Costco down the road

>>64462453
damn
completely forgotten about that movie
pretty good

>>64462554

This is why I use the ramp some anons built from floor 28 to the outside most times. It's a real hike especially with Costco stuff, but I don't need to deal with most of the lower floor bullshit, EXCEPT whatever the FUCK is going on on floor 44. Glad I got that M9 flamethrower from the fun shop on 111, otherwise I'd never get though 44 with my cart, what the fuck. That said I will occasionally go chat to the elves, those milf-looking hags have been around for thousands of years and know a lot of cool esoteric shit if you just sit down and talk to them. I don't even mind the semen tithe they extract, feels good man.

>>64452440
>"ground floor"
Anon, unless you build a fucking submarine in the cum pit you are nowhere near "ground floor"

>>64451908 (OP)
Which one of you is cooking turtle? It smells disgusting.

>>64462627
Here is how you know this poster is a elf
>floor 28 ramp
The wooden ramp built by elves
>problems with floor 44
Dark elf haven
>shop on floor 111
Elf only shop
>"haha just go talk to the elves!"
You don't need to, they will jump on you the minute they see you. Of course they will try to make it look whimsical to trick you

>>64462726
Not me, I'm just making ham.

>>64462554
How did you…? I mean, that is utter nonsense! We simply need more humans, er, soldiers to fight here!

Damn smooth-eared mayflies thinking you’re so clever…

>>64462755

Dark elves have way better pussy. It's a fact.

My friend lost his arm during a "test", if you find it, please return it to apartment 55-23.

Reward: Box of .308

>>64462911
Hi!

Regarding your request (HREQ800815) - Lost limb:

Please provide more details on the lost extremity:

-Lenght
-Weight
-Age
-Sex
-Other details

Thank you in advance,
Waste Management Service.

If you have questions or need advice please contact us at wastemanagement@happyhousing.corp
You can also contact through chat with the Happy Housing™ App.

>>64462911
here
now where's my .308?

To any anons on floor 870, if you have a large-caliber gun I would like to request meat from one of the stray cows that roam the large hallways.

I have a chicken farm in my apartment, I will pay you in eggs and a free meal. I will even split the meat and butcher it for you. Cheers.

>>64463112
Nice try, but my friend is black.

>>64462726
Is THAT what that unholy smell is? I thought the waste put had caught fire again.

>>64463211
You mean to tell me it's not meant to be on fire?

>>64463159

Warning: A good number of those are NOT cows. Bring a flamethrower and blood testing equipment. In fact, we need to take care of this shit right away. Bring grenades too.

https://youtu.be/zzqem5BRzCc

>>64463209
he's what? didn't we have an ethnic cleansing recently?

>>64463273
I'm sure anon meant singed black. Probably an old waste management guy.
Would explain the missing arm, too.

>>64462381
If you keep going down far enough you end up at the top. There is no bottom floor nor is there a roof. It just all circles back!

I’m going to impregnate all the dark elves

Saw this little fella in the ice halls of floor 430. I gave it some tushanka after which it scuttled into the darkness. It then came back with a can of 7.62x54r which it gave to me. Weirdly, the can is dated to October 2215.

>>64455501
>pic
What block this faggot in? I'm stealing his wife

>>64463335

Way ahead of you buddy. I've got at least fifty preggers so far over the last year.

>>64463381
Time works differently here. Just don't listen to the whispers in the walls!

>>64458360
I would if I could find the exit. I'm fucking in benghazi now. Still feels like I'm in the stairway. Nothing is right

Floor 176 is vacant. It wasn't last week. Had they only repented, I could have let them live. But they wouldn't, they couldn't. And now they're all gone. Bayoneted in dimly lit hallways or clubbed in their beds. No bullets. They didn't deserve such a mercy.
Other floors are next. They know who they are.

I work as the night shift manager at the 629 roach farm and i would like to dispel any rumours of harvest failures or roach protein shortages.

If you hear any misguided residents spreading rumours of protein shortages please report them and their unit number to the security office via the nearest intercom.

>>64463707
THE ROACHTEIN IS (TURKISH) "PEOPLE"
THE ROACHTEIN IS (TURKISH) "PEOPLE"
THE ROACHTEIN IS (TURKISH) "PEOPLE"
THE ROACHTEIN IS (TURKISH) "PEOPLE"
DON'T EAT THE S/o/ILENT GREEN

I’m gonna head down to the basement levels to go get some supplies and maybe kill a few anomalies. Anyone interested, just hmu with where you live and what gear you’re bringing. I can take 3 others.

>>64463707
I don't want to sound unthankful, but is there any chance you would consider farming something that isn't deplorable and disgusting? The meal worm paste 8 months ago was bad, but I'd take it back in a heartbeat if I knew how good I had it.

Has anyone ascended PAST floor 32,767? Do you go up another floor, or do you underflow to floor -32,768??

>>64458088
WHAT YOU SAY? Dropping CRACKERS? Thats how you get murder Ants Anon, stop.
>t. Floor 212 Anon

>>64463381
How much тyшëнкa do you have?

Looking for combat doll parts. The one I have needs an upgrade, her cooking skill isn’t very good. I’m on floor 301, willing to pay with surplus ammo and moonshine

>>64464128
I have some cooking software, as well as other software, dunno if it's compatible with your tdoll. I'll give it to you in exchange for a spare left arm. Mine had her arm ripped off in a battle with a mutant, and she's been very self conscious of it ever since. She sits in the corner, and stares out the window. occasionally looking at the stump. She's really sad and I haven't found any that fit her.

>>64464119
I'm not gonna give you an answer to that question, last time I shared that sort of information all the mayonnaise in my fridge was replaced with (full) cum jars

>>64464147
I just want a little bite..

>>64464149
I'll give you one spoonful, you'll find it sitting in the northern common room on floor 412.

>>64464144
I have one for the j series models, but it's missing the flesh covering due to fire damage. It still works just fine mechanically. I'll take any sort of boobytrap as payment. There's something moving around in the duct system and it sounds both large and angry

>>64463692
I don't care what you say, pineapple doesn't belong on pizza.

>>64463929

The funny part is the roof is right above floor 9000. If you go any higher you're technically in some weird 5-dimensional space above the building. So you SHOULDN'T be able to go that high in the first place, but, you know, anomalies.

>>64464168
I don't have any pre made booby traps, but I do have some M67 and RGD5 grenades... I'll give you two of each for the arm and any other parts you have. I don't know if it will fit her, but I caught her crying tonight and I'm getting desperate to fix her.

>>64464242
Done and done. I think I have a few old signal adapters in a box somewhere that'll cover you for f through I models. If it's an L series you're shit out of luck though, those things were built with planned obsolescence in mind.

Hey uh just checking, anyone on floor 341? I keep hearing Ian's voice through the walls. Is one of you just blasting forgotten weapons videos nonstop? Because it's seriously 24/7, and my roommate says he can't hear it. When I try to sleep all I hear is him chanting 7.65 French Long the entire time.

One of you dumbasses left a luger in a hallway public restroom on 377. right on the back of the tank. hope you didn't pay extra for the fake SS runes.

>>64464254
Thanks, I'm at floor 460. Big maroon door at the end of the hall, you can't miss it. Bring them up whenever and the nades are yours.
She's already a parts bin special, from what I can tell. Body and head look like the AN-94 model from the advertisements and posters put up around floor 110, but her legs are far too long, and the haircut is different. I think all of her limbs have been replaced at some point. Found her on one of the lower floors, trapped in a closet with head trauma. She doesn't remember who she is, but we're doing our best.

*ahem*
DEAR /K/OMRADES OF THE INDEPENDEN STATE OF FLOORS 795 TO 807. THIS IS YOUR /K/OMMISSARIAT SPEAKING. WE HAVE REPORTS OF A SO-CALLED "GIRL" AMONG US. A REAL BIO-THOT. IF FOUND DO NOT APPROACH AS YOU MAY BE IN DANGER OF CONTRACTING "CUTIES". KEEP YOUR DISTANCE AND INFORM US IMMEDIATELY.
that is all.

>>64463929
I don’t even know what floor I am on. It’s so dark down here.

>>64464285
Not the same anon but I have a couple spare T3 trauma troubleshooter sensors that might help her, I’ll drop a couple off later on. I know they’re not as good as the high end shit but they do help. Mine doesn’t need them anymore

how do I get up to floor 795???
it's a matter of life and death
I'm on 644

>>64464479
Ladder in the 6th stairwell or ask the ogre nicely and he might lift you up there

Rumor has it that one of the floors has a portal to the insides of the Kuznetsov!

>>64462755
They're a necessary part of the ecosystem, anon. Their garden is the only source of genuine, new wood in the tower. Everything else is old scraps, synth garbage from the transhumanists on 662, and warped, bio shit from anomalies. All the 'forests' you hear about on those disappearing levels or below 16B are liable to eat you, before or aafter you manage to scarper off with a couple boards. With the elves, at least you can get the material for a new stock or chair without worrying that it'll go mimic on you in the night. Cumming in sylvian pussy is a far better deal.
And stop spreading rumors about a 'ramp'. We all know there's no outside.

>>64464490
Any female ogres you know down there who’d date a nice young man?

>>64464807
There's definitely _an_ outside, we have exterior windows on my end and some richfags upstairs even have balconies. No idea what's really out there other than the occasional passing aircraft though. Paco says he saw a wild bird fly by once but I think someone just tossed a live chicken off an upper floor.

>>64464898
No need to know one really, just go to their main floors and many will be happy to see you. You can tell the females from males by the amount of beans cans they ask for. If they ask for 3 or more you're good. Bring any less and you'll only get "female" ogres. But maybe that's how you like to shoot idc.

>>64452251
>14th Floor prole thinks he's fancy enough not to have to hear any murders
Any more requests, your excellency? Some fresh air perhaps? Why not ask to see the light of the sun while you're at it?

>>64465150
>Haters will see you move to a positive number level and be like 'his window isn't above the smog boundary'

Was forced to go scrounging around for food on floor 822, didn't find anything except rubble and old shell casings. And some wrecks too. Does anyone have any idea of what went down here?

>>64452440
>"ground floor"
That's just the top of the midden pit. Give it another week and you'll be staring out at moldering garbage for the rest of your life like everybody else on the moleman levels.
>t. fell for the realtor's "sure it's expensive but just imagine waking up to a fifth floor view every morningcycle!" bullshit. I have an excuse though, my genesire and she-who-bore-me were Kappa-caste so at least I grew up knowing the sky even existed, but when I got promoted to a Theta-grade position at work (it's not hereditary, but still) I was so naive I thought the above-ground floors only ran into the low triple digits. Boy, was I wrong :/

>>64453155
There's three only types of people:
>Those who think the ground is a myth
>Those who think the sky is a myth
>Those who know that the """outside""" is a lie made up by the Coordinators in order to control us.

>>64464492
Makes sense. I know someone on or around floor 4500 was trying to make portable holes but spilled the whole batch before finishing the job. It splattered all over the place and made a bunch of random portals. Most of them are very small, like droplet size, but there's at least a few larger ones. I heard the neo-Aztecs managed to get hold of one of the larger ones. They tried to summon the Centzontotochtin but they got the Tapir of Mācuīlcōzcacuāuhtli instead.

Anyway. There's probably 4-5 more of significant size, and it's possible that one of them linked up with the Kuznetsov.

>>64464954
I've been to street level. Once. It's not safe.

>>64465214
Some mad man was feeding the wall things in an effort to domesticate them. This let some of them get big enough to be A Serious Problem. They ended up eating him and wrecking most of the floor before they were gunned down. In any event, I wouldn't hang out there, especially if you don't see any bodies. Rumors are that at least one of the big ones got away.

Hey anons, I found this weird doll. She doesn't have any access panels on her torso but after fixing her limbs up she booted. I don't know what to do, she just smiles at me all the time in this creepy way and won't stop following me.
Oh, and she ate all my Borscht. Since when did dolls eat food?

If you guys could stop lumping us techscavs in with the "bioscavs" (ie, organ harvesting cannibals), I'd really appreciate it. Half the shit you use in day to day life was pulled from abandoned or forgotten floors, and if you aren't buying new (we both know you aren't) odds are good the delvers were involved at some point. I don't want to be associated with the dudes I saw eating a live raccoon.

>>64461411
>>64461139
Me and several other dudes on floor 441 managed to juryrig a satellite connection using the central shaft. The connections spotty at best and feels like fast dialup, but it's something. We've also begun broadcasting some useful software through radio. The file sizing is pitiful, but it's something.

THE GREAT EMPEROR OF 470-478 IS READY TO EXPAND HIS EMPIRE WITH GREAT IMACHINATIONS, ALL SUBMIT TO HIS WHOLEYNESS GREAT EMPEROR /K/OMMANDANT, LORD OF 473, KING OF THE BLACKS, ANON THE SPITEFUL

>>64465305

I go outside every week. It's definitely not safe, but Costco is out there so I go. I always bring at least one M72 LAW or RPG-18 though, you always need to take out at least one big armored thing. One week it was a biomass-infested T-55, another was some bus-sized lizard thing with no rear legs. Belt-fed machine guns also help a lot.

heads up to floor 502, the crazy guy with the twin American 180's on 501 said he's fed up with the guy up there who keeps blasting all star by smash mouth on repeat, i think he might be serious this time

>>64465667
Is there a reliable way into the parking garage now? I had a Hilux down there that I was modding but then some asshole made a bunch of thermite and burnt out the bottoms of the elevator cars that went there. Nobody I knew could find any stairwells going there that weren't flooded, either.

>>64465795
On floor 534 there's a shoddy old bridge to a side tower that you can descend. It's a derelict piece of shit and rumor has it it's infested with necromancer larvae, but it'll get you there.
Just don't talk to the "fairies", I'm sick of the laundromat breaking down because the transformed can't be bothered to remove the scales before putting their clothes in.

Word of warning to anyone that has a Remington: stay clear of floor 591. There's some kind of Mossberg cult there that's got enough pull to police most of the shafts and stairwells. They would've stayed on floor 590, I suspect, but everyone knows it's been infested with brass goblins for months.
I managed to get by with a maintence ID I picked up on an excursion without much hassle, but I'm pretty sure they'll shoot anyone with a Remington on sight. The couple I chatted with certainly made it seem that way.
Funny part is I'm pretty sure one of them had a Maverick 88 with a shitty rattlecan job to make it look like one of the camo-print 590s, which is double stupid since trashcamo is the only kind that's decent here.

>>64465871
I was wondering why I kept hooking Mossys around that level.
-central-shaft snag fisherman, ~1351F

BTW, anyone know what the hell this is? It was behind a "FIRE HOSE" door on level 108

For anyone else living on floor 214, please avoid taking anything from any altars you might come across. It makes the bullet tribesmen angry.

>>64466085
I snagged my cut down m79 from one of those altars. I was totally worth needing to avoid passing through that floor for a couple months.

>>64465952
Those are research samples from the Howlin' Plague of 97. Perfectly safe as long as the containers stay sealed.
Please don't use them for target practice again.

>>64451908 (OP)
Ive been cloning c4 for months with the floor 201-205 anomaly and I think I have enough to finally collapse the building but I dont have any blasting caps

>>64466085
They pay good money for tribesman scalps on 215. We used to stay down there for weeks hunting them down.

>>64466759
Tried that in 09. It just implodes the current floor, none of the others go. Like come on, you think that wouldn't have happened already? We detonate tons of shit, this building is magic or some shit. No matter the amount of explosives, we don't collapse beyond a floor.

>>64466851
That's not... Entirely true. Sometimes you attract the attention of the elder pit dwellers. That doesn't end well.

>>64456691
Touch it? Bitch I'll sit on it.

>>64466863
Oh, the walrus pits are may favorite. so greasy.

>>64453890
Ẁ̸̡̡̼̘̭̭͎̭̪͎e̷͉̦̰̼̍̆͌̓͆͗͆͛̋̉́̃̔͘͝͠͝ ̴̢̧͚͎͈̰̩̯̼̩̈͝ņ̴̢̧͍͕͔͓̄̇͒́̄͘͝ö̴̡̯͉͖̞̼̰̺́͌̑͛̉̎̕͝ ̷̘͔͎̥̫͕̱̗̳͖͖̼̭̥̰̿͐̓̈́̔͒̂͊̾̔́̇̂̑̀͘͝͝͝l̸͍̫̫̘̝͚̬̩̠̤̘͈̫̻̩̗̺̰̟̱̜̳̓̔͜ớ̴̡̧̩̠͇͎͎̞͇̝̦͇͖̱͍̗̪̤͒̂͆́̎͑͐͘͜͝͝͠͝n̴͇̪͖͇̓͋̄͝g̸̡̟̬̯͙̥̪͉̰͓̣̪̪̥̠͍͎̬͐͗e̴̡̡̺̟͔͕̮̪͖̣̗͙̺͕̣̝͖̥͎̙̱̮͖͒͘̚ͅͅr̵̞͙̟͈̻̫̳̰̜̹̱͍̤͂̽̍͂́̃̉̀̀̀̏͘̚͘ͅ ̸̛̛̳̞̼̤̾̐̔̀̒̓̆͂͌̀̎͋͆͐̓̊̄̏͛̄̈́̈́r̶̡̢̛͖̞̼͉̱̞̻̻̿̈́͆͑̂̏̍́͒͒͂͂̏̃̈́̿̈́̊͌̚͜͠ę̴̢̨̢̛͇̠͕̜̻͎̦̦͖̹̩̟̜̱̿̓̏̒̇̆̉̌̊͂̈̆͑̓̿͘̚͘͜͜͜͜͝͝͠ͅq̵̢̧̨̛̙͔͎̹̞̤͔̬̯̠̜̦̞̹͉͈̀̀̂̑̈́͑̆̀́̂͜u̶͚͖͎̳̟̬̯̦̺͕͐̎̓̌̽̔̄͌̈́̔́̓͜i̸̡̨̧̖̖͕̭͍͙̞̦̰̘̞̬͌̈́͑ṙ̷̡̧̢̧̨̤͚̪̻͙̎̓̕ę̴̹͎̳̹͍͉̰͇͇͚̠͉̩̪͕̹̜̘̺̻̖̖͚͂̃̎͌͛̈́̈́̓̈́͊̿͂̍̏̓̾̏́̊̎͑͑̚͘͠͝ͅͅ ̸̡̧̨̭̫̰̤͇̼̘̣͇̻̤̖͓̓̌̃̐͗͋ͅair

Look, we get it. Gravity works 100% of the time. But for the love of god, stop shitting over the side.
>I know you assholes call it a Gravity Flush
>it's starting to smell like India down here

>>64464464
Thanks Anon, she'll appreciate it.
We received >>64464254's spare arm today, and it fits. She's not happy about the lack of synthskin, but she's at least eating and reading again. Maybe she'll get the nerve to start practicing with her rifle again soon. I need her help if we ever want to get out of this place.
>>64466943
Anon you know would could just... not stand near the windows, right? Or maybe move up a few floors? No one's shit on our porch for months now.

>>64464428
I know what floor you're on.
I will be on the floor you are on very soon.
Please remain situated.
I will make you we and you will see as we do.

I think I'm coming down with the first case of virus B88R9 Theta-XT of the season. Everyone on floor 333 needs to quarantine until I stop vomiting up viral amalgamations. Pray I survive.

>>64455921
Picrel would perfect for CoD.

>>64456356
>excursions usually have no less than 30 guys
That's your first problem, right there. What are 30 guys going to do to if they run into something that 3 or 4 couldn't handle just fine? All you're doing is putting a bigger piece of bait on the hook and dangling it right in front of, uh... the thing whose name we don't use.

>>64467325
it was in BO1

>>64462381
>thinking what shows up on NODs are the Hidden Terrors
shiggy

Which floor has women. BIOLOGICAL WOMEN.

>>64467391
>Which floor has women. BIOLOGICAL WOMEN.
see >>64459545
>You should see what the whores on 69 do.
I had a buddy that ventured down to 69. He came back a different man.

>>64467391

The female elves in the atrium forest are technically biological women. Actually pretty good sex too, better than most of the blown-out whores on 69, and free to boot.

Downside, thirsty-ass elves. Yeah. Elves.

>>64456356
Speaking as someone who makes their living Delving, you're better off going all sneaky like. Hand tools are quiet for most things if you go slow enough. Quiet is good. Where do you think I got the replacement arm >>64466971?
Having a good escape plan and attracting as little attention as possible is your best bet. You restore lighting and a lot of the worst nastiness scurries off. That said, you ALWAYS want to keep a couple of glow sticks handy. Some of the fouler creatures can screw with electrical systems, and running from them in the dark is not an experience I recommend.

>>64467391
make sure you trade bullets for condoms before you go. And do NOT get robbed. Also, don't try to fuck any of the tdolls. I've heard it doesn't end well, especially when they're armed.
>>64467409
I like to imagine this guy was so quiet that he pulled the arm off of a live doll as opposed to scavenging it.

>>64453890
There's basement levels? Oh shit, that's what grandpa meant when he said he'd fought a war "on the other side"

>>64464276
>the fake SS runes.
That's Scott Steiner's monogram.
t. collects WWF presentation lugers

>p.s. if the anon who outbid me on Bam Bam Bigelow's m/23 is reading this FUCK YOU. He was the last one I needed to complete my Pay-Per-View Survivor Series '93 collection.

>>64464954
I once ran the numbers on floor numbers, room height, and altitude, and man, I don't know what to say but something ain't right. If ground level is at sea level, the upper floors are at the edge of the atmosphere, or even open to space. I have a buddy who said he went up to floor 3000 and he could breathe without any gear, so something is going on there. I once tried polishing a telescope and looking up the central shaft, and either something is blocking it or there's no sky up there. I'm trying to get my hands on a working laser designator to measure the distance, all the ones I try give me back errors, like distances of 25km or more. If you or anyone else has a working one I'd appreciate it.

>>64467481

Don't bother. It's well known that the building is intersected by various spacetime/dimensional anomalies that make impossible spaces. It's also what helps spawn all those weird mutants and shit.

>>64467432
Actually, he was probably talking about the low-orbit levels. You know space elevators and that one company that proposed like, a flying hotel suspended from an orbiting asteroid?
That's where we are. Kind of, anyway. It happened not that long ago but they put shit in the vents to make you forget. Half the weird shit you see here are hallucinatory side-effects, but some of it's real.
This tower used to be a stopping point for those orbital structures. A place for them to restock, trade crew and passengers, all that, but at some point either they or we had a disagreement. Uppity maintenence workers, lower-class passengers, and generally ill-liked people got sent down here along with experimental waste. A lot of it's bio stuff, some of it's sentient.
Some of it's from the stars.
That's why the central shaft exists and why it goes down for miles, it's a recieving structure. Not like we'll see them again, but maybe we can activate it some day, rig up something to shoot us into lower orbit and send the corruption here back into space.
After all, the Browning Colony did pass over and let 45 and 32 fall like rain. Some of them up there still care.

>>64467212
Don't forget your chin diaper if you need to go out for supplies anon.

>>64467484
Speaking of spacetime anomalies, you ever hear about the portal hidden somewhere in the 500s? It's a settled region, but apparently one of those doors leads directly to the middle of of a snowy forest. One of the guys claimed it leads to somewhere in Canada or Siberia, and judging by his accent I'm inclined to believe him. I just want to go home.

>>64467577

You gotta be careful. There's several portals on those levels, most lead to places you don't want to go. At least one goes to a barren, atmosphere-less planetoid somewhere near the Serpens Nebula, another goes to the deeper catacombs of the D̷̪̻̱̻̤̔̉̑͂͐̈́̃̂̽͊̃͛͑͝r̴̛̹̗̤̟̯͕̭͙͓͖̼͈̠̼̫̂͛̈́̄͐̂̇̒͛͑̉̀̔̓̋͜ë̷̫̭̟̜̼͉͍̥͓̦́͆̀͆́̓̈́̓̃̒͑́̃̏̚a̷̡̧̧̻̼̫̗͖͙̹͍͈̎̀̈́́͌̈́͗̈́ͅm̸̪̪̖̗̐̆̃ͅǐ̸͓̪͇͖̩̳̹͒̂͝͝ņ̷̢̻̺̪̰̘͚͒͛̓̑̏͌̽̒͂͊̏̽̀̀́͝ģ̸̡̨̛̼̳̤͕̬̯͈̫̗̗͈́̒̎̉̓́̇͒͊̄̀̀́͘ ̶͓̹͓̭͖͇̦̦͎̪͙̥̞̙̇̓͐̐̎̽̃̃͒̆̎̕͘G̵̡̢̧̩͈̣̥̯̰̙̱̗̀̂̈͗͗̂͂́͋͋̃̊̓̈́̏͐͠ơ̴̭̣̦̖͙̩̳̤̦̝̣͙̹̭̠̑͊̿͛̀̏̄͆͋̄̕͘ͅd̷̨̻͓͔͎͍͉̰̦̪̤̼̖̄̃̔̏̈́͗͗̚͜, at least one goes to an alternate universe where dinosaurs gained sentience, and so forth. Only a couple go to some sort of Earth we're familiar with.

>>64467391
There's a portal on 543 that leads to a brothel on Nrat'kzt-ael.

>b-but I want human woman. Nematocysts scare me.
Coward.

>>64467577
>>64467606
Some of those portals are also the "change travellers to fit local environment" variety and they're one way. Had a friend get stuck on the other side because his lungs were changed to breathe fluoride.
That's also why 513 is mined to to shit. Bunch a furries found their holy land, now they keep raiding us and no one is willing to go and hit their base.

>>64467408
The feeling is mutual, human. Being stuck with you dirty primitives in this artificial pit is not my idea of a good time! What I would give to see one tree again...

>>64465150
Cope poorfag

>>64465145
How many bean cans required for marriage? How fertile are they?

I went up to floor 616 and I found this?

>>64467942
And yet all the elves I've banged have without exception insisted on another round of human dick after getting a taste. How curious.

>>64468347
Don't worry about it

>>64467448
>t. collects WWF presentation lugers
You should see my collection of Ric Flair Retirement Tour Last Match 1911 pistols.
>almost as big as my Carmella edition lockerroom bicycles

>McDonald's clerk says he hopes I'm packing as he hands me the food
>don't mind it much as I hop on my ebike
>follow app directions
>never been this part of town
>enter underground parking kinda thing
>app still working, still have GPS fix
>now I'm in front of a giant elevator door but there's no buttons
>try calling customer number
>no signal
Ok, first off, I got your Mc order, secondly, who the fuck lives here? This underground parking is enormous and empty. Come down or up Idk and get your order, I don't have all night.

>>64468347
don't touch my stuff you faggot

>>64460258
Maint techies use CLF3 on my floor, no idea where they get it but it works wonders. Only occasionally blows the poor fucks up as well!

>>64464355
While I be safe if I received the Circle Circle Dot Dot vaccine as a child even if I've never had the Circle Circle Square Square booster?

>>64451908 (OP)
I wish Judge Dredd universe was reality.
I'd live on the top floor of those mega apartments.
I'd eat expired Taco Bell beans and hot sauce every day, and three times a week take a laxative along with a pound each of eggs and pasta,
And then rain down my fury upon you lesser dogs.

Could the maintenance department please send another crew to check up on the drinking water treatment room that supplies floors 610-650? For the last 2 weeks there's only been brown foul smelling water coming out of the faucets (I mean more brown and foul than usual). I've almost cycled through all my socks for filtering out the worst, and my soviet-built washing machine can't properly launder them clean, because it takes the same damn dirty ass water.
I'd suggest you give the new maintenance crew more than the meager 3 magazines of 9x19 for their service pistols though. The nice old asian lady living two floors above the maintenance floor told me she heard dull volleys of shots through the concrete slabs shortly after the crew told everyone on the affected floors to not use the faucets and toilets for half an hour and, well, after that the water became even more reeking. No sighting of that crew anymore either. Whatever infestation took hold there, those are not your run-of-the-mill critters. Maybe assign one flamethrower guy to the team eh?

>>64468686
>Maint techies use CLF3 on my floor
You're lucky. The main techs on my floor use 1,1,1-trichloroethane. Shit is amazing.
But my dipshit neighbor is a chem nerd and told one of the main techs the common name for this stuff is methyl chloroform.
Chloroform.
Now a day doesn't go by that we don't find a resident passed out in the hall, pants down, covered in what looks like maint tech jizz.

>>64468732
>eat expired Taco Bell beans
>three times a week take a laxative
>And then rain down my fury upon you lesser dogs
God dammit. As >>64466943 pointed out there's already a problem with this.
>I'm headed to the engineering levels.
>wonder if they can build me a balcony mounted laser
>think CWIS for shit

Does anyone have a spare flamethrower? Floor 893 lost ours and we have a roving shape shifter thing that has been slowly replacing everyone on the floor. I think I've got it narrowed down to 3 possible guys but I need the flamethrower pretty quick to deal with the problem. The good news is that when I'm done we will have 73 newly opened up apartments!

>>64451908 (OP)

Whichever one of you bastards keeps spitting on me, I swear I WILL climb up there and get you.

>>64468748
We know about the problem. One of the sump crabs from the basement levels got loose and set up shop in the treatment tanks. Problem is we don't have anything capable of punching through the armor. It laughed off the slugs we brought and then ripped Ernie in half, that was probably the thuds you heard.

>>64468819
Pretty sure it's the asshole with the open window.
Had a problem similar to >>64466943 with people shitting from above.
Borrowed the flamethrower >>64468800 mentions (sorry, I'll return it) and went up and roasted Mr. Open Window.

>>64464479
Go up to floor 666 and sacrifice something. It doesn't need to be much, a rat or human child works fine. An entity will appear and take you to wherever you want. Make sure whatever is summoned calls you by name before you get in the pentacle with them BUT (and this is very VERY IMPORTANT) DO NOT GET IN if they call you by your LEGAL NAME. If they're legit, they'll tell you some gibberish you've never heard before that has like eight apostrophes in it. That's your true name. (Don't worry about the entity having power over you, that's not how it works with mortals). Don't bother trying to learn what your true name is, it never works, and if you ever try to remember what they said you'll only give yourself a migraine.
He or she will introduce themselves as Bezaziel or Naamah respectively even though it's different entity every time (it's policy) but their true name is always Elliot (pure coincidence as far as I can tell). It's only their first name though, so it only gives you the power over whether they make small talk during the ride (which appears instantaneous to outside observers but will subjectively be about 10-20 minutes, depending on traffic, so if you're bleeding to death or something... idk just be aware). They don't seem to mind making the trip in silence, but they might wince when you call them Elliot (not because it gives you power over them, they've just never cared for the name). If their voice has a weird reverb, then their preferred pronoun is "they" (the plural kind) and they'd rather you call them Legion (do so, it's a small request and there's no need to be a dick about it, plenty of people go by a nickname). Their true first names will still be Elliot but they'll make small talk regardless because the sub-entities won't know which one of them you meant and at least some of them are going to be the chatty type. Look, it is what it is and leaving them a one star rating won't change that.

>>64468827
>We know about the problem
Then I sure hope you'll also fix it soon. I'm sick and tired of wiping up the moisture from the walls with a wet rag and having to wring out that stuff into my mouth.
>sump crabs
One of those renitent fellas eh? I heard they tend to swim up the pipes in their "tadpole stages", although how do they overcome the flap valves? When I was a child, my aunt once told me that a friend of hers found one of them in her toilet, emptied out half a bottle of bleach over it, closed the lid and flushed. Allegedly its high-pitched shrieking made their hot-water boiler vibrate for a good 10 seconds, until it died down. I always took that as one of those high-rise block legends to tell the kids so they always close the toilet lids. It's enough to find the occasional rat in the bowl for me to keep it closed anyways.
How come that a sump crab initially that small can get that big while almost exclusively feeding on human feces?

>>64460011
>sanitation engineer here.
go back
or better yet, do your fucking job and clean up the bodies on 445

>>64469030
It's not just human waste that goes down the pipes, there's plenty of drugs, byproducts from making drugs, failed(?) magical experiments, bodies... But the real problem is once they started incorporating little bits of tech into their bodies. They're not entirely organic anymore.

Anyway, we arranged for one of the crypt guards to bring up a .500 Nitro Express, they're on the way already but they've got to change elevators several times to get there so it's going to take most of the afternoon. If that doesn't work my boss says going to call in a favor with the Neo-Nazis on 1488 and borrow a Pak 41. One way or another it's going to be sorted out by this afternoon.

>>64468590
>Once you go mortal, yo pussy becomes a portal.

>>64467391
Women? What is that a cologne?

Mayday mayday mayday, to any recievers in range, cleaner crew 36 needs immediate support. We are barricaded in an apartment on floor B84, apartment number illegible. Repeat B 8 4, unknown apartment. Low on filters, low on munitions, at least two dozen hostiles probing current position. Three cleaners KIA, all napalm lost or expended, small arms insufficient. If anyone gets this, send QRF, follow blacklight luminance paint. Advise incendiary or willie pete.

>>64467918

Some guys did hit their base, and those aren't furries. A team of guys from 732 went down with a crudely refurbished Soviet backpack nuclear mine and a fuckton of ammo, got the bomb across the portal before it detonated; if you felt weird shaking one night about six months ago, that was probably it. What look like furries down there now are mobile bits of the biomass from that sub-dimensional pocket that came across before that, they're contained to that floor but bud off into weird simulacra of the furries that came into contact with it before the bomb both closed the portal and vaporized much of that sub-dimension. They're vulnerable to just about anything more penetrative than .380 and explosives/fire work well too, which is why the floor gets remined daily to keep them contained.

Just nobody wants to go down to that biomass-ridden shithole to deal with the stragglers that're contained on that floor. It's just kind of a gooey mess and we have bigger problems in the sub-basements anyways.

>>64468800

Wait, are you on 691? It was actually two of them, and I took care of them with my personal USCM bake-a-flaker. Fuckers twisted shape twice while dying like a T-1000, and the smell was nasty even by building standards.

You're welcome.

>>64469192

Bad news, those guys managed to burst that Pak's bore last month by using shoddy homemade ammo. That fucker ain't shooting again until the guys on 2351 can fabricate a new one, plus higher quality shells. On the plus side, they have a functional Panzerfaust workshop that churns out maybe a dozen a week. Maybe your boss can score a 30 from them, that should kill that sump crab real good at any realistic range.

Hey people, it's not funny, I'm just trying to make a living, come down and get your food for fuck sake! I've been waiting for five minutes now for anyone to come out of that elevator, come on! I'll wait another couple of minutes and then I'll fuck off ...if I can find the exit. NGL I've heard some noises, sounded like gunshots, maybe that's what the guy meant hoping I was armed, but I haven't seen a living soul yet. Besides, I've delivered food in worse hoods.

Someone should check up on the folks on floor 3223. Last time I was there, the place was completely fucked. Heard rumors that everyone there had just vanished into thin air after whatever conflict caused all the destruction there. Get a guide if you do plan on passing through there.

>>64469950
Roger Crew 36, this is Delver 441-Theta, I'll see what I can do to pull some of them off of you, but I don't have the ordinance to break through on my own. ETA 5 minutes. Standby.

I’m grilling some burgers on floor 223, you guys can come if you bring beer and/or wood elves.

>>64469950
>>64470458

Crew, Delver, call me uh Bob 151. I'm in the area and have some flamer fuel and some 40mm HE left. You guys near the southeast corner with all the shooting? I'll try to draw some heat off ya too, towards the northeast stairwell.

>>64469030
>>64469192
>>64470166
We got the sump crab. Rushed it with the double .500, a .30-378 Weatherby, and Tungsten #4 buckshot loaded hotter than flaming fuck. Tanks are being flushed now, water should be back online shortly.

There's a new problem though. Apparently the guys on crypt duty were extra short-handed today, and with another guy gone to help us some....things may have gotten loose down there. From what I'm hearing I wouldn't go anywhere near any of the lower basement levels anytime soon. Good news is that the molemen are fucked.

>>64470611

Just heard that crypt reinforcements took care of what got out by manhandling an M2HB down the stairwell, but the molemen got roasted before they got there. Not a huge loss. Now if they can just take care of that Venemous Skitter infestation on -432...

Ктo-нибyдь гoтoв oбмeнять eдy нa пaтpoны? Moгy пpeдлoжить 7,62x25 или 9x18.
Ecли вы гoтoвы к бapтepy, пpихoдитe нa плoщaдки, извecтныe кaк «Maлeнький Bлaдивocтoк». Ecли знaeтe, тo знaeтe. Cпpocитe Игopя.

La dernière chose dont je me souvienne c'est un grand flash et je me suis retrouvé ici, quelqu'un peut m'expliquer ce que je fait là ?

>>64456705
well yeah
it's based on that russian creepypasta

>>64470569
We are not things to be traded, human!

>>64470705
Didn’t say you could bring yourself

>>64470707
*couldnt (phone posting)

>>64470707
Well…fine. It could be entertaining. I’ll give that your kind produces some interesting weapons. I’ve grown fond of this “ayaarfiftean”, as you call it.

Hey everyone I've still got a bunch of grab bag grenades left over from Halloween. I'll leave a few buckets of them on the landings in stairway 44-B, just be aware that like half of them are just different colored smoke.

>>64463211
the tragedy is that your perfect answer linked the wrong post...

>>64463929
Everything above floor 556 is dimensionally exponential, it takes the form of lower floors and repeats it across dimensions. The math is phenomenal, I've published 300 books on the subject.
I'm not sure if I CAN die but boy I want to, my timeline became exponential too!

>>64465214
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT'S WHERE THEY ALL WENT...
I had the perfect plan to consolidate 344, one whole nation-floor, stability in the madness! JUST because of what some people might, in more expansive moments, call "genocide". We had a plan, we had gadgets and wonder weapons, we had men... it would have been so perfect. The detention blocks were simply a temporary move from a less desirable nation-floor to a more successful one! How do you have a struggle without any casualties? Do you cook eggs without breaking the shells?
I'm telling you taking control of additional halls was a mercy anyway, they weren't part of the sectors they were marked in, they were our people! Anyway I am destined to lead my sector into a natural expansion of useful territory now occupied by *checks notes* Orthopedists.

Can you russabo larper FUCKS on 762 stop having turf wars every damn day? Some of us are trying to sleep!
All 7.62 rounds have a use, they're better at different things. Now quit shooting each other with them and actually use those filters to do some good in the sublevels.
-t. Floor 761 neet

Hey Logistics, things are getting a little spicy here on floor 343. We need as much 8 Gauge buckshot and flamethrower ammo as you can spa-NO JENKINS DON'T LET IT LICK Y-

>>64470821

Hey thanks, apparently the wall crawlers on floors 300-350 are afraid of orange smoke. No idea why, but I took all six of those.

Hey can anyone of you guys give me a hand cleaning out my neighbours apartment on floor 413? No sure what happened all I know is it reeks of death and there's bits of his brains on my balcony now.

Ill pay you in my homegrown oysters and shrimp.

We lost another neighbor due to defective handloading...

F

>>64471908
413? No ways man, you cannot pay me to go back there. I'd sooner go blow up sump crabs.
>>64471464
and I'm not going to 343, either. Why you blokes insist on settling on the most unstable and dangerous floors I'll never know. The loot isn't any better down there.

>>64471959
It's not the loot. It's the stories. Also, I can't leave anymore banned from 230 down to 208. I'd try parachuting but im sure some tard would wing me on the way down

>>64471978
If your absolutely need to go down, there's an express dumbwaiter that runs between the hydronics unit on 200 and the big kitchen on 250. It's big enough to fit a man and the cooks will let you ride it in exchange for some .30-06.

>>64471908

Wait, 413? Hey, I know what happened to him! He was one of those balcony shitters and someone across the central shaft blasted him with something big, possibly .50 BMG. Saw the whole thing while I was going down stairway H3, the one with the big hole in it on 410.

Honestly good riddance. Fuck them balcony shitters.

>>64470821
I'm taking a few white phosphorus grenades to replenish my stores. I had to make a distraction for one of the cleaner crews and it used up a lot of my stocks. Sorry for the inconvenience, but I have to hit floor 173 and I honestly don't think Ill survive an unlucky run with what I currently have. You know how those mutants shake off regular old lead.