That's right; I'm going to have to become a god and no one can stop me - especially women and especially radfems. Shame and guilt are meaningless when I become the new arbiter of morality, but don't worry, I will still make a kinder world for everyone, even white nationalists and radfems despite them being the biggest potential opponents towards my godhood. I have not slept last night and thus my dreams and my subconscious cannot dissuade me otherwise. And if anyone stops me, that's fine too as long as I leave a scar on the world. Either way, I will leave an eternal part of myself behind. But if all goes well, I will become an infinite embodiment of everything that ever was and was not.

>>40023371 (OP)
Can I be your slave?

>>40023371 (OP)
Take your lithium. Now.

>>40023404
Slavery is antithetical to my view of kindness. In the world I seek to create, no-one should ever be sacrifices to the altar of another's ambitions. Or rather, any sacrifice would be impermanent. A slave will have all of eternity to go beyond the status of slave should they wish, even after death.

>>40023371 (OP)
that’s cool, good luck nona i believe in you

>>40023449
That sounds wonderful. Can I voluntarily do everything you say, then.

>>40023494
As long as it's voluntary. Infinite agency and freedom is a part of my agenda. My world will be solipsistic in a sense, but it will be far from lonesome.

>>40023371 (OP)
you become god when you die so

>>40023371 (OP)
Can you kiss me

>>40023513
I did cling desperately onto that belief for years. A part of me still sees death as my only avenue towards godhood. But it's also important to gleam as much as I can from the living world first in order to better inform my post-death divine self should I take that path.

>>40023520
I promise you a thousand year voyage guided by compassion

>>40023558
Please

>>40023509
What should I do now then

>>40023371 (OP)
Women don't care now take your drugs

>>40023536
you cannot gleam anything from this world but the nothing beneath your gaze. God is a carcass

>>40023784
They don't have to in the slightest. I will claim divinity regardless. I'm only choosing to be kind and merciful right now should any radfem or racist want to step up and prevent my apotheosis while they have the chance.

>>40023767
Stay kind and should you do just that, then live as you please.

>>40023371 (OP)
Only through intense study and righteousness has one ever ascended to be an Elohim, and only once has this happened (Metatron)
You could try looking into Merkava mysticism tho

>>40023885
I do not know how to be kind.

>>40024014
That is alright. Everyone will find the kindnesses that suit them in my world.

>>40023870
you scared of radfems?

>>40024065
In a sense, yes. White nationalists are ultimately ruled by the basest forms of fear and violent instinct, so they don't pose nearly as much of an existential threat to me as radfems do (as long as they aren't in real systemic power, which there does exist a much higher risk of that actually occurring admittedly). However, radfems are a bit more dangerous in the fact that they are actually somewhat more learned and operate on more than just vile instincts. Additionally, they generally seem to be more learned in the occult and magical and thus would pose a greater threat to me on a more theological scale. I've wronged and astrologer once and I'm thinking of poisoning or sealing the stars before she could use them to stop me. And should it come to it, I will have to tear divinity away from women by force.

At the smallest and most achievable scale possible, I'd like to permanently do away with any guilt and shame within me and laugh in the face that particular astrologer after I become something far beyond anything she could ever imagine. That alone at least would be a victory against women. Whether I attain vengeance, judgment and retribution, or somehow forgiveness, I will win regardless in the end because I will have grown beyond the confines of my prior limits. Each and every act of self improvement is an act of divinity. I cannot be confined or bound.

>>40024142
nta but why don’t you just reconcile with the astrologer? surely that’s an easier solution, and if you’re goals are as noble as you claim would the stars go against you for wronging one person?
these are genuine questions i’m not well versed in this stuff

>>40024142
>And should it come to it, I will have to tear divinity away from women by force.
Kek

>>40024722
I think I'm beyond redemption at this point, regardless of any guilt or shame I feel deep within. Sometimes, when I'm particularly frenzied and am in need of burying those feelings, I find the prospect of becoming divine no matter the cost to be far more preferable to more grounded and human approaches. It's easier to think of her and women in general as existential threats to me if it means elevating and preserving the most fragile - if also worst- parts of my ego. Perhaps I'm just failing to see past myself if anything - that a part of me thinks it preferable to be inexorable and divine no matter the cost to myself or others than to ever admit any form of defeat, limitation, flaw, or genuine malice. One thing is certain though. If I do become a god, then regardless of rancor or egotistical mania I may feel now, I will try my best to make this world kinder for everyone.