what was the moment you realised you are trans?
for me it was when i was 12 something kinda bad happened to me and some of the girls invited me over for a sleepover to make me feel better.
there i was actually treated like one of the girls. and i liked it.
it was downhill from there.

>>40034995 (OP)
Way to late sadly..

>>40034995 (OP)
kill yourself xitter troon

>>40035246
??????++

I don't think I ever realized I was just doing it

>>40034995 (OP)
what was the bad thing that happened

Feeling like I was meant to be a girl basically my whole life

Realizing that meant I was a tranny when I broke down crying in sex ed and the school thought I was an abuse victim

>>40034995 (OP)
never a specific moment, but i had almost all female friends growing up, hung out with only girls, felt comfortable around them, wanted to be feminine and didnt understand why i couldnt (didnt understand sexual differences until way later), eventually i was forced into a male social role and hated it. found out about hrt online and it was over since (that was like 13 ish)

>>40034995 (OP)
I had two moments:
>8 years old, horribly under socialized, became friends with some local girls and realized I wished I was a girl. Tried to explain this to my parents and asked them if I could wear skirts or be a girl and they brushed it off, so I repressed it
>14 years old, overheard some friends talking about trans people, had some discussions of trans people in a sex ed workshop. On the car ride home spent the whole time thinking about how much life would be better if I transitioned, realized it was possible for me to do so, and when I got home immediately got into researching it with the help of /mtfg/ and some trans friends
Still took til I was 17 to finally start HRT. I wish I would've started sooner, but I was too scared to come out to my parents and convince them to get me 'mones so I had to wait until I had my own job so I could buy them online in secret

I had been thinking about gender alot from ages 9-11. I wanted to physically be like the other girls and this was frustrating but I didn't think about it too hard.

When I was 12 I was being bullied by a boy at summer camp who kept calling me gay, crawled into my bunk at night to hit me or do some weird shit, just always following me around harassing me.

I started fantasizing nightly about transforming into a girl and being reassigned to the girl's bunks.

Started imagining dating the boy, making out with him as a girl.

Suddenly realized I liked boys but could only see myself dating them as a girl.

Confirmed with online and library research when I got home that i was trans.

iwnbaw

>>40034995 (OP)
I didn't become familiar with the subject until like 22, but I had always felt like this. I just didn't logically identify it and connect the dots. I think the first time I very precisely articulated it was in sixth grade in a Kongregate chat room

Of course I wish I had exposure sooner but better late than never I guess

>>40034995 (OP)
Started thinking about it at 7, I was just standing there and had an epiphany that my internal voice was 'female' and started thinking of myself as 'mentally female', which is when the frequent ideation of it began. But I had no awareness of what this even was until 15, this stuff wasn't talked about in public in most places up until around then, when I was performatively edgy so I started hating on troons instead and just ignored my feelings. Eventually I came to terms with their existence, but kept hating trannies and internally concluded that I'm not one of them unless I give in and actually transition. Still believe that really. So I just repped, and I'm still repping today.

It always makes me feel so bad when nearly everyone in these discussions seems to have known since so early. I always had fantasies about being a girl but I didn't think of them as a big deal and I assumed all boys do the same. I watched tranny porn troughout my teens but never even properly understood that those are real people and it's possible to transition like they did, or really that they even transitioned. I guess they were just porn fantasy characters to me. Literally only started thinking about my gender at like 20 or 21 years old.
How could I have been so numb to it? Even when puberty was happening to me? Sigh. I suppose you don't have as much time to think about gender when all your energy goes into not killing yourself because of abusive adults but I wish I'd known earlier and that I knew about DIY earlier so I would've gotten on HRT sooner than at twenty-fucking-eight.

>>40035967
It just didn't occur to me that it was a thing I could do

Perhaps I should have asked some questions after a few years of my last thoughts before I went to sleep every night being "i wish i were a girl" on repeat until I fell asleep

>>40034995 (OP)
at around 13 and 14 i became acquainted with the concept of gender dysphoria, i told my mom about it and how i have it and she told me to wait. and so i did. i coped by larping as a cis girl till i was 18 on the internet, where all my social life was concentrated. so bullshit that i was a dumbass child back then and didnt push further into hrt and all.. i femboyrepped irl too

>>40036012
Yeah same I didn't realize transitioning is something you can actually do, which is absurd since I'd been jacking it to tranner porn since like 14. Maybe I'm retarded.

>>40034995 (OP)
snale

>>40034995 (OP)
When I noticed I didn't click with the boys in my class and I clicked easily with the girls in my class
By age 9 I was thinking and saying out loud "I'm a lesbian in a boy's body"
It still took me 20 fucking years to properly come out, though. I should've just repressed until I killed myself.

>>40034995 (OP)
I spent the first 30 years of my life actively repressing any thoughts about feminine or woman anything. I don't think some people really understand how deep repression can go.

I grew up the boy in a boy-girl twin pair. From before I was even old enough to realize the world existed outside me, I was being given and dressed in "male" things including a football team logo when I was a literal baby. I was the only boy in the family. Every hope and dream of a boy for a conservative father was thrust solely upon me. I was told since I could remember that I had to handle my own business like a man, boys don't cry the whole shebang. Grow up to be "big and strong." It was something they pounded into my brain in childhood. Everything gendered, I am a guy, nothing I can do about that, just deal with it.

My potential trans role models were basically male crossdressers and prostitutes. It was the 80s and 90s. There were no positive examples to look to. If I even thought about wanting to be a woman, the most honnish man cross dressers in the most ridiculous clown makeup were all I had to look forward to. I didn't want to be that.

So I sucked it up and tried to be a guy. It didn't work. I gave in and trooned out in my 30s after a years-long process of unlearning all the garbage and internal soul searching. I was one of the lucky ones. All it took was layering off my facial hair and going on HRT. I really feel for the girls who were not as fortunate genetically

And now after all that I'm supposed to feel invalid for not knowing at the age of 6 that I was a girl in a world where there was no community for people like me. Fuck that. I'm just as valid as any youngshit who grows up today with a million beautiful young trans women to look up to.

>>40034995 (OP)
in a work breakroom 3 years ago, breaking down laughing that after finally getting myself accepted as one of the guys i would never ever have it in me to be happy and sane in such a state.

>>40040658
I’m the same
It hurts I think

>>40034995 (OP)
staring in the mirror and having a breakdown over the fact my body had grown to look feminine. i had literally been playing world of warcraft and chilling like 5 minutes prior idk why everything clicked right then

>be me, twelve year old on tumblr
>learn what bottom surgery is in graphic detail
>thats cool wonder If I could do that
>occasionally steal my sisters costumes to dress up as raven
>eventually steal some of her clothes or my moms shoes to dress as
>14 years old, only exposure to trannies was assassination classroom and porn
>think it’s a fetish
>In high school sociology
>social experiment to break norms.
>16 year old me for some fucking reason decided to dress as woman from the clothes I had stashed under my bed.
>not sexual, not vulgar, just me dressed in feminine clothes and heels
>pass class but don’t pass as woman
>one day mom finds clothes
>do you wanna be a woman? Do you want to transition?
>it’s a fetish it’s a fetish it’s a fetish
>throw all my clothes and shoes and make up away
>ignore it, try to be straight
>go on three dates with a girl and ghost her after kissing her and feeling nothing
>im a freak
>see cute outfits, well everywhere and I just look like shit in jeans and a tee everyday. Wouldnt even wear shorts
>but I’ll wear a dress or makeup
>im a cross dressing freak
>keep hiding clothes and throw them away when i moved in 2020
>ignore it for the better part of a year
>while im thrifting at a tiny shitty store I see a really cute dress. I buy it and go home to break down.
>Come out to my parents the next week

Those fucking dorks placed bets on whether I was gay or trans and my mom
I crashed my car a week later. And they said it’s cause I’m a woman

>>40041057
alr fuck it lets do a faggot life story greentext ig
>only child at about 6 years old in the late 90s
>blissfully unaware of gender
>go to school, become a bit of a loner
>make one or two female friends
>try to go play with the guys one time
>they look at me weird and tell me to go away
>try asking for a girly pop album for christmas from a family member
>they laugh at me and tell me thats for girls
>i get quite upset over this
>they get me it anyway
>i refuse to take it
>change school
>make two girl friends, play dumb gendered games where i kiss a girl pretending to be her husband once
>no actual sincerity shes basically just a girl bestie to my gayboy ass
>move school again
>really do not get along with the boys there
>only speak to a couple of the girls in and outside of classes
>no other friends
>im about 9 or 10 at this point
>they lead me behind the back of the school one time and ask me if ill show them my genitals if they show me theres
>trust in them instantly broken in a way i didnt know was possible
>walk away hurt and angry and never talk to them again
>change school
>another 2 female friends
>increasing gender pressure is slowly getting me to act hostile to any girl i perceive as treating me as different
>diagnosed sperg due to behavioural issues
>somehow invited to play on girls hockey team
>change schools again

>>40041057
>>40041542
>12 at this point
>suddenly im getting a lot more physical bullying from boys
>get pinned to the floor and mocked by a boy one time
>huh, did i just enjoy that?
>5 more years of being an isolated loner but now with the occasional weirdo male friend
>15 and pubertys barely touched me
>find out about trannies after a friend pushes me to actually be interested in this stuff
>oh, its a sex object that exists for the porn industry made possible by surgeries
>futa on /d/ is kinda fine tho
>porn slowly drifts to more sensory/intimacy focused stuff
>distinct preference for textual smut
>start dating at 19 after moving out, growing out my hair, and changing my dress sense to a very 2010s low budget comfy boy millennial style
>consider HRT after meeting very early 2010s tranny DIYers but have 0 comprehension of "feeling like i was born in the wrong body" and therefore feel itd be wrong for me to take it
>meet a nice guy
>go on dates with him
>go to a hotel with him one time
>he hands me makeup and lingerie unpromted and insists i put them on
>slowly drift into malewife role
>occasional work in female sectors from time to time
>finally score a good paying male job
>try to bond over interests in suits and shoes with one guy
>talk about how i do my own sewing without even thinking about it
>awkward "oh makes sense ig"
>try fitting in there for 2 years
>consider roiding to be more of a man and deal with my body issues
>finally reflect enough to clock the obvious
>cave and troon out
>dont even care if i pass at this point i just want social license to be a weird faggot on my terms
>2 years go by at job
>they find out
>fired

>>40035967
>>40036012
>>40036566
i dont think its retarded, i think its just a mental block. something in you is just like "you cant do that" or "that isnt actually real though". i feel like for the older people here that experience is more common because back then trannies were just these surged up blow up dolls youd see or if you were lucky youd see one more naturally feminine one and hear something like "she was just born that way". pre-2010s tranny representation was almost entirely luckshits, heavily surged up dolls, and gross CDs.

>>40034995 (OP)
Does anyone have the tf2 heavy version of this

I had a bunch of dreams where I'd be somewhere with a friend or family member and someone would come up to us and publicly accuse me of being male and lying to everyone about it. Over and over again. And I already had suspicions.

>>40041630
ohshit trannyrep dreams are fucking something. did you ever have these long, drawn out, numinous dreams that were like full on telling narratives?

>>40041635
>did you ever have these long, drawn out, numinous dreams that were like full on telling narratives?
Actually no, even compared to my usual dreams these were so to the point that I actually thought it was funny.
>eating lunch
>hey you're a guy dipshit, you're fucking trans
>wake up in a cold sweat
my subconscious fired most of the writers I guess

>>40041660
lmao
mine were like
>ok youre out of your parents place and youre in the student tower block now, but you dont belong in the partys do you?
>go back home to my unlit flat
>enter a haunted mansion i wander in lost
and
>back home living with my dad but my dad isnt home
>go to the living room
>its a room with only stairs in it
>climb the stairs past a mirror with a woman in it
>"who the fuck are you and wheres my dad?"
>get to the top
>its a door to the shoe shop upper floor
>go down the shop stairs to the floor
>all the shoes are womens
>"oh i cant wear these"

post transition i spent like 6 months locked in a tower flat turned prison cell with a mute girl who watched braindead TV, eating food and drinking milk that slowly turned into milk wine. she disappeared one time, i went to sleep, woke up and a white haired old man was there to verbally torture me for like 10 minutes before he set his angry dogs on me while i begged for forgiveness. fucking goetic ass mfer invading my dreams.

>>40041718
I really like that, actually. did you even know to interpret this as being a woman (I assume), or were you puzzled by it?

I also wonder if I had dreams like that that just went over my head. I did have a lot of dreams of knowing a secret truth that I wouldn't be believed about or couldn't disclose.

>>40041859
no i had like no clue on te first two dreams for like 7 years. i was very much insisting i was a twink at the time. i once accidentally punched my bf in the eye waking up from a dream where i was being attacked by crows and he still makes me feel guilty over it.

that shoe shopping one was a reoccurring dream too. literally being haunted by the ghost of transition.

>>40035793
>my internal voice was 'female' and started thinking of myself as 'mentally female',
i was/am like that except for feminine male instead of female

>>40034995 (OP)
around 8-10 when i realized I wouldn't look like my older sisters or mother but like my father

>>40035328
You are an abuse victim

>>40034995 (OP)
4 years old when i saw a vagina for the first time in kindergarten and broke down crying because i realised that i couldn't just grow up to be a girl
23 now and i have a nitrogen tank and oxygen masks stashed in my closet

>>40034995 (OP)
When I was in my late 40s and started wearing my wife’s clothes.

>>40034995 (OP)
when I was 3 years old and wondered why I wasn't being treated like a girl when I felt I was one

>>40034995 (OP)
Ever since I was 1 years old when I enjoyed the pink toys and ponies over the blue toys and race cars.
I knew.

Some of my first memories as a kid was taking clothes from my mom and being happy to hide what I had down there.
Happened several times across teen age years until I was called out by both parents, my girlfriend at the time and turbo repressed until 31.
What a fucking waste tbqh

>>40034995 (OP)
I was 15 when I really started considering it and was coping as a gay guy despite not even liking men. I didn't really know anything about trans people and was probably going to rep as a femboy and was in a "gay" relationship with an egg. She started talking about wanting to troon out and I was like, fuck thats something I can do? She talked about it and I slowly started to piece together everything that had been happening to me (was suicidal because male puberty was fucking up my body) and transitioned a year later. Unfortunately ended up transitioning before she did despite her figuring out before I did and she's currently forced to rep because of her shitty family :(, I wanna save her but we're exes now and don't speak much.

>>40034995 (OP)
>realised you are trans
this is trender rhetoric. it implies they identify as trans and not a sex designation adjacent to their designation at birth. it means they think it's a choice rather than a birth defect. that's transphobic.

I always wanted to be a girl. I straight up thought when I hit puberty I would grow boobs and every time I tried to grow my hair out my parents made me cut it. I never knew transition was a real thing, I thought trannies were actual women born with dicks. I didn't get the internet until I was 21 and that's only when I learned hormones and transition was a thing. I started hrt at 26 and luckily had a good transition.

>>40044904
I left this board 7 years ago and came back today and you're still here.

When I was a wee lad I was horny 24/7. Talking about starting at 9 or something. At 10/11 I started having sexual fantasies including me penetrating pussy and it got me so riled up that I almost cried.

t. Transsexual male

why do the resident jeeps always come up with such comically fake trutrans stories?

>>40045040
like who?

>>40043024
Believe me I've poured over my personal history extensively and there's zero

Best I can give you is having an absent/distant father and being raised by women

If I'm a boy and want to be a girl, I'm trans?