I'm MtF, but recently i have been tentatively exploring the idea that my true identity is closer to that of a feminine gay male. I was wondering if any other trans women or gay men had considered this, or gone through with some sort of process around revising their identity post transition.

I don't want to stop estrogen, I'm a long time girl moder, my voice is so trained it would need to be re trained back. I'm not sure i would easily be perceived as a gay male anymore, but sometimes i kind of feel like one. It doesn't really feel like detransitioning, just like adopting the label that makes the most sense. After all I'm a 5'11 male on estrogen who gets fucked in the ass by other males and happens to wear a dress.

Willing to talk on discord with anyone who wants to drop an account, I've never gotten an trans skeptic perspective face to face, but I kind of feel like I'd be interested in talking to a terf. (Not self harm guys, i swear)

>>40103092 (OP)
being a gynandromorphic eunuch trap is the comfiest and most “accurate” identity, I recommend

>>40103595

Can you explain more? Did you struggle with this ever or did it come naturally? Was your family accepting? Did you medically transition?

>>40103092 (OP)
>ive been exploring what is self evidently true

>>40103708

You guys just react with hostile indifference and taunting. It just feels like you don't really believe in or care about your position.

>>40103677
It’s what it sounds like, I’m a eunuch with boobs basically. I would rather have a female body I guess, but since that isn’t possible and this is way better than nothing I can make the best of it.
I’ve never seen myself as a normal “man” but deep down I don’t think I ever actually “identified” as a woman either despite being dysphoric over my sex characteristics. Early on in my transition I kinda forced myself to larp as the uber-fembrained “woman trapped in a man’s body” trutrans archetype even though that’s really not who I am inside. The more I started passing as female the more I was able to accept the fact that I’m not one, and the less I hated myself for not being one. I genuinely like my body and who I was able to become, so I don’t feel the need to hold myself to a standard of someone I’m not.
Maybe it helped that I’ve always been a huge anime autist and already kinda viewed the trap archetype as semi third-gender. The “gf (male)” meme has always really clicked with my brain.
I’m stealth to normies and acquaintances because it’s easier but I’m open about who I am to family and close friends. I don’t really care if they view me as a real woman or not. I view pronouns and similar stuff as more indicative of masculinity/femininity rather than male/female so I don’t really take worrying about them seriously, I mean muh anime girls say “boku” all the time so who cares.
My bf is bi and I can actually appreciate the fact that he loves every part of me for the unique person I am. Our relationship is a little gay, and that’s hot when ur debrainwormed
>Was your family accepting?
Reluctantly. They came around eventually. I did ask for forgiveness rather than permission
>Did you medically transition?
I started hrt at 16 and had an orchie at 21. I’m happy with where I am now and don’t feel the need to go any further than that. I still view it as a medical necessity, 0 regrets
TLDR I’m just me

>>40104404
I’m surprised you didn’t go straight to SRS. why not?

>>40104463
I really hated having testicles but a small atrophied penis doesn't bother me all that much. I wanted to see if an orchie was enough to make my bottom dysphoria manageable without srs and it mostly was, my surgeon went with the inguinal method and left the scrotal skin just in case though.
I would still probably prefer to have a vagina but I don’t see srs in it’s current state as worth the risk for me personally. I have too much to lose now for something that could sexually/physically cripple me if it goes wrong.

>>40104889
That’s interesting. So sometime in the future you’d still consider SRS, but as of now you don’t? That’s part of the reason I have a tough time finding a trans partner. The people I’ve met that I’ve been interested in have been keen on getting SRS which I’m against for pretty much the same reason. Wish they were as reasonable as you. Did you notice any changes in your body once you got orchi?