Thread 40131256

>manmoder, HRT did nothing
>never malefail
>no friends
>no career
>bullied throughout my life
>never fit in
>afraid that someone will out me and that people will start bullying me over being a tranny
>no hopes to ever pass or have a normal life
How do you deal with it? I don't know how. I feel like I completely failed at life. I used to be around some transsexual spaces but I felt I wasn't wanted because I was so masculine and kept complaining about it.
Now I just isolate myself, but I have no copes, no hope, nothing. I can only imagine how better my life would have been if I had been allowed to transition before puberty. Now it's just over, forever
I'm very bitter and demoralized. I don't want to be a bitter old man, I don't want to be an old man at all. I fear losing my youth as that's sort of a feminine trait. Because eventually I'll just be an old, wrinkly fat man in his 50s. I don't want that to happen but I'm too masculine to ever pass. Manmoding isn't enough. Just taking estrogen isn't enough. It hasn't done anything
I don't want to kill myself either, I want to live, but live differently, the way I want to, but I think that's impossible for me

bump

>>40131256 (OP)
Im basically this except i socially trooned out in my baby trans days and ive regretted it dver since. 5yr hrt. Idk how to handle it, I think we're just fucked. Hugs, OP

Hold out for the singularity when we've fully solved biology, its probably only 7 years away from now.

>>40131256 (OP)
yeah, my arms are full of scars and I want to add more cuts. for some reason, cutting deep makes me squeamish, so I can't have huge scars.

My scars are proof I failed in my transition. fuck it, I might even post my face eventually to confirm my gigahon status.

>>40131256 (OP)
The worst part is that other trannies shit on you for being masculine. I will never understand how someone could do that.

>>40131256 (OP)
Literally me
I did have a career at one point tho but lost that due to being mentally ill

>>40131256 (OP)
me too. my life is a little more on track but all the effort I put into being "normal" just feels pointless every time I look in the mirror.
>>40132074
seriously. especially coming from someone w gd who understands how terrible the feeling is. it's all just so cruel.

>>40131256 (OP)
stop acting like a repper just on HRT

>>40132074
>>40132306
> active on 4chan
> complains about people being rude
r/mtf, r/traa, r/egg_irl etc. are down the hall, third door on the left

>>40132314
that’s basically what I am tho

>>40131256 (OP)
>I don't want to kill myself either, I want to live, but live differently, the way I want to, but I think that's impossible for me

Right in the feels, you described it really well. I've seen how happy other people can be, I know how good life can be, sometimes I get a little taste of it on a good day if im somewhere I won't be judged. But my life specifically is just awful, nobody takes you seriously if you don't pass. Still, I don't want to end it and throw away every opportunity to be happy and experience things, I just want the pain of being something I know is wrong to stop. If I knew there was something after id end it all immediately desu, but I unfortunately don't have the certainty to religioncope, there's always a little bit of doubt in everything.

>>40132503
most empathetic hussoid

>>40132658
that's gay men for ya

>>40132640
I'm relatively early into my transition so there's some hope but, its looking grim. My only solace is maybe I can just rep or manmode and do what I can to help others be happy.

>>40131256 (OP)
i just try not to think about it and delude myself into believing i’ll get ffs one day and it’ll magically fix things. it’s honestly so grim though, having not had a childhood i wanted, hating all the lost time yet still wasting what youth i have left. i don’t know how to cope so i just distract myself

>>40132658
it actually is empathetic because i want to save her from further emotional damage instead of dragging her down back into the crab bucket.
you shouldn't hang out here if you don't have extremely (!) high self-esteem and resilience

>>40132640
Yes, I don't know what's going to happen after death either, so I assume that this life is the only one I'll ever have and it's so disappointing. I don't want to be an old fat man, I just want to be a woman. So many other transsexuals eventually make it, but not me, all because I have poor genetics which made me masculinize and grow tall.
>>40132074
Yes, I used to complain a lot about my appearance and my height on some spaces and they got really mad, eventually I got banned, while they all manipulated me and made fun of me

>>40131256 (OP)
i'm a repper that burnt out of his career, do i count?

>>40132503
I don't mean specifically here I see it everywhere. passoids shitting on anyone who isn't stealth tier passing is a tale as old as time.

>>40132870
if you could pass no

>>40131256 (OP)
I pass but my life still sucks. The grass isn't greener.

>>40133007
Your life can suck in general, but you don't have the problem of not passing, which is even worse
I am literally a man on estrogen. It's such a terrible feeling that I will never, ever look like a woman, that I look like a man right now. I have never malefailed, despite perfect levels and suppressed testosterone. I don't know what to do.

>>40133056
True. But in some ways it's worse. I'm so close to the dream life yet so far. If only I was attractive and rich, I could live the dream bimbo lifestyle.

>>40132986
i can't pass and i live with my parents

>>40133090
Are you trolling me?

>>40132503
I've been here longer than you've been sentient. Go the fuck back.

>>40131256 (OP)
failed trans mostly honmode

>>40131256 (OP)
every manmoder is like itachi and its a miserable existence

>>40132074
ngl thats exactly what im here to do but now i feel just a little bad

>>40134520
kill yourself retard nigger. YOU. ARE. A. PASSOID

>>40134851
and even if not FFS could save you so flip those patties nigga.

>>40131256 (OP)
honestly I've just been trying to cope with it by changing my goals from passing to being as feminine as it is possible to be with the cards I've been dealt, it doesn't work all the time but it's been making things mildly more manageable

>>40134520
brow plucking and eyebags cream?

there needs to be some honchecklist of things to do before posting shit like this

>>40131256 (OP)
>How do you deal with it?
cry