I'm not a tranner but since so many of you have mental health issues and have been to psych wards, I figured this thread was on topic. Pls don't ban me mods.

What's /lgbt/'s experience with psych wards. I'm thinking of going off my meds so I'll probably end up dead, in a psych ward or in prison. Can anons share their experiences?

i've only been to children's wards but i very distinctly remember a girl getting held down while she kicked and screamed before getting "booty juice" in front of everyone

>>40158097 (OP)
in/out numerous times. Certified multiple times. Medicated voluntarily,, & sometimes not.. Saw chief shrink restraining and fondling another kid, Witnessed one girl slice her arm with a broken lightbulb. Another tried hanging themselves. Staff would restrain or pin patients with chairs or tables. At another place, they would drag you to a secluded empty room, & offer you to take thorazine either by mouth, or into your butt.

i'm a 6'4 moid and went aggro when the tard wranglers eventually caught me so I got placed in the high intensity ward with the other violent psychotics and prisoners that get transferred their when they have a psychotic break in prison, it was pretty chill most of the time but a random group fist fight broke out once a day and then we would get crash tackled by security and shot up with benzos

>>40158780
why were the tard wranglers after you in the first place?

>>40158097 (OP)
Ive been a couple times. It sucks every time, especially as a tranny. They wouldn't let me shave when i went pre-electrolysis, and the staff would literally say "here's your estrogen, sir." The other patients were always really nice though. There was fuck all to do when the group activities weren't going on, and you had to attend a certain number of activities to "prove" you were getting better and could leave. But they gave me a very sedative medication in the morning so id sleep through most activities, and be up all night with literally nothing happening.

>>40158809
friends and family had called up about me so i was in the system as a wild psychotic already but specifically i confronted a gang stalker on the train and then i was paranoid the cops were after me so i took the reasonable course of action and started screaming abuse at some cops (im not american). they detained me and saw in their system that i was psychotic so they transferred me to the ER under detainment which let the doctors put me under an involuntary and then the cops let me go.

>>40158922
damn. What mental illness specifically do you have?

>>40158927
it was a one off acute psychotic episode, apparently pretty common in young men. I had / have depression but nothing really serious, it just happened randomly out of the blue one day. This was nearly a decade ago at this point so its probably never going to happen again, i know depression can get misrecognized as the negative symptoms of schizophrenia but after the mental ward i was put on a community treatment order and they kept an eye on that before the psych said it was probably just a once off. I never took anti-psychotics either, i just gummed them at spat them out because i thought they were trying to poison me or whatever so it just sort of resolved on its own.

>>40158097 (OP)
Was in for just shy of 8 months back in 1994. It was pure fucking HELL! First off every morning they have you wake up, that is if you can sleep on that rock hard Gym mat they say is a mattress and those bedding that are so fucking thin they do nothing. And the screaming and crying till around 3am when they finally medicate those acting up. Your woken up at 8. Your then stood out side in a line at the nurses office where you one by one. Come in and strip naked where they look you over for new cuts , bums, scraps, anything to indicate self ham. Then your made to shower and get dressed. Normally by this time its around 9am and your given breakfast. From here you go to school, witch is a fucking joke! Then your given a hour to do what ever before lunch. During lunch your gonna have to eat this nasty shit or hide it otherwise thee gonna put you on a watch where if you don't eat they will make you eat! Again pure hell! after lunch your given meds if you need them. Thankfully i did not. Then its Therapy hour where you and a group of 6 other people will sit in a circle and talk. And you better talk otherwise oh yup.. your a trouble maker and guess what.. Now you need help from mr medication or extra therapy on on one. Witch is really fucked so you just play there game and say some this like im feeling sad because i miss my family and friends. Mean while in your head your saying ya the second im out of here a fucking bullet in my brain is gonna make this shit stop.As i sure as fuck am never going through this hell torture fest again. Then you have art. fallowed by dinner then fallowed by another inspection on your body by the nurse and her goon squad. i mean orderly's . And yes your naked in front of 3 people. There medical pros so don't be shy its ok. Is the shit they say. Mean while you know there fucking pedo's who enjoy this shit. Then your put in your room. Doors close you here the sound of music playing and this is when the lights go dim. Part 2

>>40158097 (OP)
I got put on a three day hold once. I was quiet and cooperative, I went to their classes and their group talks, and three days later I left no less insane or suicidal than I went

>>40160461
the lights go dim . your now alone in this room bed radiator toilet and sink. Your gonna be scared out of your fucking mind as everyone in theres nuts.. you know they can just sneak out and come in to your room why your asleep and kill you. or do harm to you so your minds racing. your on edge all the time! doctors start thinking theres something more wrong with you then just being suicidal and depressed. Because you are showing signs of being unstable. After the first few days of this you finally crash fall asleep in the middle of the Therapy circle or some where like class. your woken up and made to go see the nurse where meds are offered to you to help you sleep at night and you refuse but are told if you don't show signs of improvement there gonna give them to you.As its not healthy to not sleep. So going from that moment on you start sleeping sitting up with your back against the door getting two hours a night. and you find ways to take quick naps doing the day. It was truly a Hell! I barely made it out of there with my mind. I now suffer from ptsd. major depression and every single day I wanna end my life. im 43 now every single day i wake up in a pool of sweat thinking im still there. Been this way since i got out in 1994 worst part is no one taught what i was telling them was real! for the entire time i was there i told my family who visit, and they listed to doctors saying im just making things up or confused. it happens. I kid you not.. if i ever have to go back ill kill my self or any one who tries to take me there. As i rather be in prison! or die as shit was pure mental torture.. Im not happy to answer question but will do so if you have any. just be advised i'm logging off for the day and will reply the following day as i work odd hour shifts .... thank you.

>>40158097 (OP)
when i was in the psych ward no payed any attention to me at all. I was the youngest person in the adult unit (freshly 19). it was pre-transition but, i already male-failed a sometimes pretransition (both before being in the psych ward and while I was in it) and had hair almost to my bellybutton and shaved my whole body religiously and was extremely shy and self conscious...
i wore a mask 100% of the time and begged to be allowed to shave nonstop throughout the day. on most days after around the 5th or 6th time i asked they reluctantly agreed (while visibly annoyed) and got someone to chaperone me and gave me the cheapest, tiniest, flimsiest little single bladed safety razor you can imagine.

i basically didn't speak and would sit in the corner alone all day keeping my eyes to myself doing nothing and trying not to cry.. no one really cared. sometimes, rarely, people would ask me to chime in in little ways in group conversations, just kind of throwing the weird kid in the corner a bone, but for the most part i didn't speak unless spoken to, and i never participated in the groups. one time a woman asked me, unprompted, if i was sexually abused as a child. i said no. i apparently apologized too much whenever i did speak. there was one girl who i didn't really know that well, but when she was leaving she said goodbye to everyone, and when she said goodbye to me she asked me to apologize one last time, she just wanted to hear me say "I'm sorry" one last time before she left, because apparently i said it a lot... one girl asked me if i had a job, and i said no, and she said I should work at sephora, for some reason. she said i seemed like the kind of person who would work at a place like that. i didn't really say anything...

It was the worst week of my life.

>>40160675
I have a question for you op. That is if you don't mind answering it. If so i understand. if not then what were you put in there for ? and what was the outcome after you left. Did you have any mental trauma from being there after? if so please explain and share if you can. Thank you

>>40158097 (OP)
my ward week in 2023 was alright mostly; first 2 days were awful but the rest were ok; i even enjoyed some of it because i made friends with a few other girls and just stuck with them the rest of the time

i was sent there bc i sliced my arm open in a major panic attack on like 3/3/23; i forgot to take my medicine and escalated in just a cpl mins; it wasnt an actual sui attempt but it certainly could have killed me

there was a boy there who liked me; kept talking to me but i was into focused on my girls to give him much attention; he said "whats a pretty girl like you doing here"; he was friendly i wish i had talked to him more but he was in the other unit so i only saw him at lunch and obviously im not straight but he seemed to like me anyways

a couple of the other guys i caught staring at my chest thru my dress... it made me uncomfortable; they took my bra away when i was processed into the place because they said the straps i could strangle myself with; so the whole time i had to be braless with just my red longsleeve dress and my loose leggings

i was never misgendered though; one of the staff was really nice to me and did everything she could to accomodate my trans needs and made sure i had extra pillows for my spine and bottom when sitting in the classes; she was pregnant and her baby was due in a few months and she had been a patient there before

several people asked me if im a nun etc because ofcourse i had my veil on at all times; that was the only comfort and normalsy i really had; if they had taken my veil from me i would have been very upset i feel kindof naked without it exvept at home

for the record i wore my black veil to that place i didnt yet have my preferred light bluegrey one

>>40160733
>what were you put in there for ?
I was suicidal and made the grave mistake of calling the suicide hotline and doing what they told me. I was extremely cooperative, open about my suicidality, and made it clear that i did not actively intend to harm myself, and I was choosing to get help instead. They told me that they were taking me to a therapist and that I would have someone to talk to. they lied to me. they took all my possessions from me by force and put me in a locked room with a bunch of creepy old men, and nothing to do. I sat there for 8 hours getting leered at without anyone saying a word to me. Eventually they took me up to a room to sleep in. The next morning police officers came and put me in cuffs around my arms and my legs, put me in a wheelchair, and wheeled me around the hospital on display for everyone to see as they went and ran their errands. I asked them why they were doing this to me when all I did was ask for help, they said it was just the procedure. after around 30 minutes of that they loaded me into the back of a van like an object. it was filthy. and they drove me out of the city i lived in (which of course had it's own facilities), and to a city 2 and a half hours away, where I sat in another waiting room for about 10 hours with nothing to occupy me. I was of course not allowed to leave at any point in the process. Then they brought me up to the unit to sleep, and I was there for a week. I never got to talk to anyone. The only opportunities to were in these shitty half-assed "groups" that no one took seriously and that I did not feel comfortable speaking in anyway. I was never offered help.

>What was the outcome after you left
They told me they would put me in contact with a therapist and contact me after I left. that was a lie. that never happened. Nothing happened. They just kidnapped me for a week, refused to talk to me or help me, and sent me a bill for thousands of dollars.

>>40160827
>>40160733
>Did you have any mental trauma from being there after?
yes.
i was so hurt, and angry, and disgusted by the system. is there another word for 'disillusioned' that's 100x more intense? it was horrifying. what i learnt from the whole experience was that the world didn't care. The whole time I was so gentle, so cooperative, I just did what I was told, and I was punished for it. I was just something to squeeze money out of, no one cared how i felt, no one had any interest in helping me, and no one would care if i died. I was, I am, an unwanted object.

I also learnt that I was say too much of a coward to kill myself. and that no one was coming to help. So I, almost in spite, resolved to try and make my life better on my own. No thanks to them.

It might be the worst thing that ever happened to me. it showed me what the world is

>>40158780
>random group fist fight broke out once a day and then we would get crash tackled by security and shot up with benzos
sounds like a blast who tryna do this with me?

>be me
>looney-troons
>sent to rehab
>they don't know who to room me with
>get room by self
>other inmates get jelly
>they ask why i get my own room
>staff tells them i'm a tranny
>suddenly others coming out as looney troons because they want their own rooms.
>not legit trannies
>chaos unfolds

and you ree-rees still think it can't be a social contagion or that assholes would pretend to be trannies.

>>40160823
some crazy lady came on like my 3rd day and almost got put into my room but the nice staff girl had her moved when she realized she would be a problem; she didnt want me distrubed so i had my own room to myself the whole time

that crazy lady carried around a bible and cursed at the staff like a sailor; she said the tv told her she was part of a 1000yr old prophecy and she was going to get back at all the staff ppl who wronged her (they didnt she was just a bitch)

i later comfronted her when she was at the nursing station desk harassing the poor staff girls; i stood there at the counter a few feet from her and i said to her "you know for someone carrying around a bible your not being very virtuous treating these poor girls like that; they are just doing their jobs and keeping everyone safe; why do you have to curse at them like that?"

she looked at me speechless with terror in her eyes and slowly walked away back to her room (this was the middle of the night and she was keeping everyone awake); the staff all thanked me and one of the girls i had made friends with overheard and thanked me the next morning at breakfast

so i sould say my time there was like 70% pretty chill; some of it was even fun

the "group therapy" sessions were mostly useless because of troublemakers when the 2 units were together but when it was smaller groups it was quiet and everyone got atleast something useful out of it i think

there was an enby with major DID who would revert mid sentence to different alters; including "littles" that would burst into tears in an instant; and a chill very butch lesbian that could pass for any teen boy (buzzcut); a sweet instagram model with too much ink who i liked alot we had some good chats and she was the only one i still have contact with; i msg her occasionally; and a very sad story mistreated mildly overweight very pretty girl who was paranoid and they fucking discharged her literally to homelessness :( i hope shes ok

>>40160827
>sent me a bill for thousands of dollars.
How is this shit legal

>>40158097 (OP)
I once thought i became gay cause there was a cute 5ft guy in my shared bedroom in the ward but it was a pooner

>>40161003
It's the face of evil. they don't care about us. pure, black-hearted evil

>>40158097 (OP)
the meds made me crazy. like crazier than i am.
i didnt mind them.. i just didnt like the hard drugging.
i got food 3x a day and ate alot and gained alot of weight. the girls used to like me. my room mate at the 2nd one was very nice.
and turns out he's gay. we met up later in life.
we never did anything gay though.
the staff was pretty chill. except some were power trippers and psychos themselves.
the girls were always louder and causing drama.
sometimes i would get frustrated cause there was so much fucking noise when i was trying to chill.
i did like eating good. and it did help me get off some drugs both times for a little while.

i wouldn't want to stay in a place like that for months.. but in short bursts, like a week or 2.. its really not that bad.
if my life ever goes to 100% totalshit, i'm fucking putting myself in.
cause its one of the easiest ways to get help/gibs/housing/ all sorts of shit lined up. and diagnosis....
all that process starts. and it can be helpful if shit is really bad.
like a blessing in disguise.
4/10 shitty experience, but not bad either..

>>40158097 (OP)
i've been in the psych ward 4 times total. each one was really different. heavily depends on which ward you end up in and what sort of place you're in when you get there.

i genuinely remember being elated the first time they involuntary committed me but that's partly because i knew it would make some friends who hurt me feel guilty (messy I know). i also remember that was like the first week (week and a half) where I kind of felt ... normal in a long time. very little of my usual semi-hallucinatory experiences and i wasn't even on meds yet.

there was another time when i got sent there when i got kicked out of a residential and they thru me in a psych ward on the other side of the country from where me and my family are. put me on so many meds i could barely function. could barely walk could barely talk couldn't sit still. that one was all "voluntary" but when you're in a state like that the word "voluntary" is kind of a stretch because where the fuck else are you gonna go? overall, it can be fun but just like don't get sucked into it cause it can take away a lot of your life and put you in a cycle where you can't live outside.

sometimes people find relationships..
i know someone that met his girl @ a ward and they ended up having a baby.

and his older bro kys'd about a year before he went in. and he was in a bad place..

he came out of it with a wife and daughter..

so yeah..

some of those people are fucking COOKED though.
patients and staff. COOKED

but sometimes, its not so bad.

i talked about my experience a bit in another thread but i went to a female ward as a tranny and it was honestly fine, it actually made me feel a lot more confident in how well i pass (at the time at least lol brainworms have been ruining my life again more recently) because nobody cared about me being there and i don't exactly live in the most trans-friendly part of the world. there were a couple of absolute cunts among the nursing staff naturally but most of them were fine, some other patients were a little bit scary (especially in the observation ward where i went the first few days) but nothing bad happened. i actually kinda miss the structure of it, i was really sick when i went there and the routine calmed me down a lot, i took the time to read books and listen to music and all the things i don't have time for with the usual rat race pace of my life. one cute memory i have from there: the first few days i basically lived in ward pyjamas and covered my hair with a beanie because i'd essentially been taken in off the street with barely any clothes nor my usual makeup and hair products, one of the boomer nurses was like insisting i take the hat off because she wanted to see me without it so i borrowed some hair stuff off my roommate, finally had a proper shower and wore the one skirt i had with me and the girls were stopping me in the hallway to say i looked cute.

>>40158097 (OP)
Hold on OP you must give us something in exchange.

Give us your virginity

Didn’t I just make this thread like when I was in the ward like… yesterday?

>>40158097 (OP)
i was there by mistake because of police and was of sound mind and looked like an average 5'11 male. i can't imagine how bad it is for those who aren't, because:
>get brow beaten any time there's a delay or question
>screamed at if you pause to read any documents they hand you to sign
>restrained if you don't want to do "activities" with the group
>watched while sleeping
>only allowed to use the bathroom at specific times, I suspect there was a camera in there
>any traumatic or medical issues on your history can and WILL be used to belittle you in front of a dozen doctors and in front of the other inmates
>not allowed to read books unless they're approved by staff
>not allowed to take prescriptions from outside (i have a medical condition other than dysphoria that i need meds to regulate, they wouldn't let me have it), forced to take antidepressants
>if someone can't pick you up at a specific time on a specific day they hold you for another week, you aren't allowed to leave on your own
>they can write in your chart to disallow you from owning firearms for the rest of your life apparently, on a whim
this was in rural USA if it matters