Please ignore this if you're just gonna be rude.

Ive been on Hrt for like 1.5 years now and just now starting to feel weird about it.

Im 27 and not socially transitioning (still 'male'). Ive felt very happy with my progress so far and didnt have any doubts until recently. But lately Ive been feeling kinda distraught about my chest. Im actually very proud of my chest and figure but I just feel like I wasn't meant for this.

I felt fine before I wanted to go swimming with some friends and had to figure out how to hide my boobs. Being a male and feeling like I need to hide my chest all the time is stressful. I know a big part of it is because its a large secret I'm hiding. Another big part of it is that I did like having a flat chest, and I knew that going into this. I considered through all the possible side effects and changes but I really thought I felt secure in this. Ive never taken such a big risk, much less felt regret over it. So Idk what Im going to do now.

A big part of me wants to find a reason to keep going. Another part of me would be happy to stop stressing like this.

If you've had similar feelings and are "not trans" please share your story tysm.

>>40159695 (OP)
i felt the same way, its just something we have to live with. maybe one day you can get them removed. i just hate looking like a man even more so theres no point trying to detrans

>>40159722
Thinking about aging like a male is more upsetting to me, I think. But to be honest I would have preferred to never have the option in the first place.

>>40159695 (OP)
if thats a recent pic, then thats pretty ok, i wouldnt think anything if i saw u irl on the beach or anything
most trannies with big boobs ive seen have had a lot of development in the first 1-2y, then slowing down and then coming back here and there in waves over the years
some get a sudden boost when they start injections, others unstall when using oral
i can however resonate with what some anon once wrote, that most that didnt like their boobs was because they didnt sufficiently pass yet, at which it turns into wanting bigger boobs to be more fem.

do you want to be seen as a woman in the future or down the line?

>>40159831
My chest is a bit bigger than that now but overall they're small.
>do you want to be seen as a woman in the future or down the line?
I am really unsure now. Since I was a kid I wanted to age like a woman. But now I dont know if I care how others see me. Which I think is kinda the problem, I think I am perceived as a male + have boobs, and this adds to social discomfort. I still appreciate every other aspect of Hrt and would prefer to not age into a grandpa.

>>40159695 (OP)
get a mastectomy? i feel bad because i was unsure how i would react to growing tits and worried that i would hate it, or feel reverse dysphoria but i lucked out. i live my shitty little man boobs

>>40159895
honestly, i would keep going
rationally, how often do you really have to be shirtless in public? Binders and sportbras are completely enough for smaller sized breasts to hide

>>40159695 (OP)
you call those boobs?

>>40161259
lol. Theyre noticable through tshirts at least.
>>40159938
>get a mastectomy
That is what I have to do regardless ig. I also kinda like them, and clearly wanted them, but still have very mixed feelings ._.
>>40159946
Bras make me feel so claustrophobic. I dont like being shirtless, but I like standing up straight confidentiality.

>>40159695 (OP)
raloxifene+relugolix, dht cream, or get a mastectomy.
also post the uncensored photo next time.

>>40165375
>raloxifene
Ive heard this meme for years and never seen any real proof of it working. A lot of people here would be preaching this if it actually worked.

>>40159695 (OP)
its just a awkward phase of transition, and eventually you'll get comfy with them.

do you want boobs?
like at end of the day.. and it was only up to you. do YOU want booba though like eventually?
if the answer is yes. you'll be okay.

1.5 years is stil pretty early. and your thin.
so they wont be like milk jugs. they'll just be perky tits. which is always nice.

>>40159695 (OP)
i stopped swimming when i was 10 because the dysphoria from my flat chest (and my parents not letting me wear a shirt because that was "for girls") was too much
so literally just dont go swimming
if i can do it so can you
otherwise you should really think long and hard about why youre taking hrt and what you actually want in life or youre going to keep running from one thing to the next in search of validation forever

>>40165719
The recent nobody preaches it is because everyone was doing it wrong for over a decade.
The typical SERM+bicalutamide regimen is completely wrong. That combination causes: 1) the body to ramp up testosterone production to the point that it is aromatizated into estrogen and causes breast growth, and 2) creates such an excess of testosterone that it is ultimately too great for the bicalutamide to actually block.
The proper way to do it is to use an antigonadotropic (i.e. a CPA or relugolix).

>>40165876
>so literally just dont go swimming
Its not just swimming. Its that breasts in general are not making me feel comfortable. I dont even feel comfortable sitting up straight.

>>40165758
>do you want boobs?
Before I started, this was my biggest concern. So I guess the answer is not really? I like how they look but actually having boobs is uncomfortable sometimes.

>>40166190
Thanks but as ironic as it sounds, I dont want to be the beta tester for some new combination of drugs.

>>40166190
>just use an expensive and hard to source gnrh blocker bro

more useless advice that nobody has ever actually done

>>40159695 (OP)
I just started a week ago. I'm not sure if I want boobs or not. There are times when I really do and times when I don't.

>>40166945
nobody cursed with a male body unironically thinks "you know what would make this better? if i had some tits i had to hide" and anyone who says otherwise is a deluded masochist or agp pervert.

for most people it is and should be about the whole package, having tits doesnt make you feel feminine if the rest of you looks male, it makes you feel like a freak and is one of the main reasons people repress

not wanting tits doesnt mean you want to be male, it means you want to cling onto normality and growing boobs is a permanent change that is visible to others. its very scary

>>40166783
>I dont want to be the beta tester for some new combination of drugs.
True. You just want to take drugs that cause you to grow breasts and then cut them off.
>>40166810
I paid $160 for 10g of relugolix. I take 25mg a day, so it is a 400 day supply. Cyproterone acetate is also an option, and it is not hard to source in any way, shape, or form.
>more useless advice that nobody has ever actually done
I'm doing it, and I know a few other people who are as well.

>>40167298
isnt it extremely unhealthy to reduce your hormones to nothing like that?

>>40167444
yeah you'd want to have something for a dominant hormone, e/t
otherwise you'd be like a menopausal women or a castrated man.

bone health is a big one. brittle bones.

look like fag

>>40167470
so then whats the point if the idea of the gnrh blocker is to not grow tits?

you'd either have to take T and be the same as if you didnt take it at all or take E and be no different to a trans woman.

my current regime is bica + prog + duta and just accepting some titty growth, it seems completely unavoidable since testosterone blocks breast development and the total absence of it means even a tiny amount of E can cause feminization.

>>40167298
>>40167498
also cypro raises prolactin and that is associated with lactation and breast growth, my nipples turned to milk duds on that shit

>>40167298
>True. You just want to take drugs that cause you to grow breasts and then cut them off.

Yes that is unironically a better method than turning your endocrine system into that of an 80 year old woman in your 20s

>>40167444
Since the SERM (raloxifene) is designed to emulate estrogen, no.
Hot flashes are a possibility, but you can mitigate those in a number of ways:
1. Preserving some testosterone (~100-200ng/dL) by adjusting your relugolix dose. In this case, you could also take, say, 5mg of bicalutamide alongside the relugolix to remove most androgenic effects.
2. Microdosing standard estradiol (this has the highest potential to increase breast growth).
3. Taking 2-4mg of 17a-estradiol, which is a rarer, less potent version of estradiol that is primarily potent within the brain, hence it's ability to reduce menopausal effects. This is the best option in my opinion.
I never got hot flashes personally.
>>40167470
That's incorrect. Raloxifene is designed to act like estrogen outside of a few select areas (i.e. the breasts).
It triggers most of the same receptors regular estrogen does, and as such it preserves bone health. Preventing osteoporosis is one of the primary reasons the drug was made.
>>40167505
That's extremely unlikely given raloxifene's antagonistic behavior in breast estrogen receptors.
>>40167573
Maybe. I think SERMs are better if you have good luck with them, if for no other reason than the fact that it doesn't require any surgical intervention.
YMMV.

>>40167780
i find it odd that people never mention prog, prog is given to women to help with menopause and it even reduces testosterone, taking enough prog can reduce T by up to 70% and you can get the rest with an anti androgen, much healthier.

>>40167912
Not a bad option for reducing T, but you'd still need to replace it with something to not lose bone density.

>>40159695 (OP)
Wait, are you MTF or FTM?

>>40168196
mtf

>>40168122
prog mitigates bone density loss

>>40169751
Still not enough

>>40159695 (OP)
I think you just have to own it
I love my HRT titties, I love them in the morning, I love them at night, and they were my "something is missing".
That being said I was nervous as fuck about being visibly trans especially with my start point (almost bald) so id constantly cover them up.
Well I'm 3 years in and all my hair luckily grew back and now I don't worry about my boobs at all in fact I worry they aren't big enough.

My recommendation is that if you look like that go to a swimming pool with some swim trunks and a matching bikini top and see how you feel.

Also talk to a therapist

>>40172075
Thank you for sharing. My feelings are still all over the place. I definitely should have seen a therapist years ago.

>>40159695 (OP)
please dont become a right wing grifter trying to murder us for your mistake

Yeah I relate to hrtitties making it harder to boymode and stuff, and then being kind of stressful since it's a thing you have to hide. I boymoded for a while when I was early into hrt, so the boobs gave me mixed feelings too since in a couple of years they grew large enough to be kinda impossible to hide perfectly without a binder or smth
Although even a little bit of boob makes it infinitely easier to girlmode if you ever decide to do that in the future
>>40162967
Please don't get a masectomy unless you're 100% sure. Unlike with hrt there's no ticking clock on that, and maybe you'll grow used to your tits at some point if you're having mixed feelings right now

>>40159695 (OP)
>she thinks she is fooling anyone with that estrogen skin.
Are you on injections?

>>40173570
Lucky for you I am so self hating that I want nothing Lgbt associated with me in the slightest.

>>40174065
>Although even a little bit of boob makes it infinitely easier to girlmode if you ever decide to do that in the future
I never planned on presenting as a girl which I think is the whole problem. This thread was spurred on by me trying on bralettes and feeling really constricted and uncomfortable and thinking that its only going to be more cumbersome from here (pic in op is months old). Im not mentally comfortable sitting straight up with boobs, and Im not physically comfortable wearing a bra. Which is superficial and stupid to confront now.
>Please don't get a masectomy unless you're 100% sure.
I dont have the money for it anyways lol

>>40174170
>Are you on injections?
Yes Een 0.185ml every 10 days

>>40159695 (OP)
you look like a malnourished twink, what in the world are you trying to accomplish exactly.?

>>40175041
>>Please don't get a masectomy unless you're 100% sure.
Im really just thinking about if I should stop doing my shots

>>40175172
Lol I guess just that. Im a semi androgynous amab and Im just jealous of women. I dont know how else to say it. Ive always wanted to be a female but stubbornly denied it from myself until 25 when I felt lost enough in life to take a risk and I did. I really wish Hrt didn't exist at all honestly. It was better not knowing it was a real option.

Im really surprised how many people tell me I look malnourished. I know Im skinny but I really dont think I look ill or underfed.

>>40172584
No problem anon I pretty much just come to this shithole for the odd real OP post like yours