>>40164965I think you're falling into the trap that a lot of boymoders and baby trans fall into which is that if you hate yourself enough, deprive yourself enough, you will "atone" for the sin of being trans, someone or something will take pity on you, and they will rescue you, protect you, and tell you it will be okay. This is the motive that drives pickmes to constantly attack other trans people and seek validation and protection from conservatives who hate trans people, it leads people to enlessly boymode, internalizing judgments wof not passing or being ugly. They end up compromising on themselves, doing just enough to survive and bide time (taking HRT) but never able to self actualize and become their own person. It's the worst of both worlds.
You don't owe anyone anything and you don't gain anything from hating yourself. You are not any better or worse than other trannies due to your appearance or what steps you take to hide being trans.
Humility does serve an important purpose, it keeps you from shaming or embarassing yourself and drices you to obey others and try to fit in, but too much humility becomes a compulsion, you're in a hole of guilt and no punishment js enough to atone for that guilt.
So, there's nothing for it hurts to climb out of the hole. Open the door to your mental prison and walk out. Ultimately, you're the one keeping yourself in there, and you are within your rights to let yourself out.
