How do I talk to an autistic tranny without losing my mind?

>>40242970 (OP)
give her to me

>>40243024
No, she's mine.

>>40242970 (OP)
Can you be a bit more specific on what your issue is? Are using autistic as a general descriptor of her or as a negative trait you are trying to navigate?

>>40242970 (OP)
you close your mouth and listen to her ramble

>>40242970 (OP)
im afraid this is what everyone secretly thinks of me when i speak

>>40243229
I'm already doing that for the most part, I like listening to her rambling.
>>40243225
It just feels very one-sided. I feel like we only have actual conversations if it's something that she started talking about. When I talk about something she doesn't really reply a lot of the time or at least doesn't seem interested. Sometimes she just starts talking about something completely unrelated without replying to anything I said.

>>40243479
if its one sided shes probably not interested in you. best to ask her if she cares abt you/topics you bring up before jumping to conclusions

>>40243479
I guess consider that her brain forms thoughts and conclusions in a different way than your or any other person you'll meet. Do you have to ask her opinion on things when you speak or does she only occasionally chime in when you leave a gap for her to respond? They don't really think outside of themselves and you have to do a lot of legwork for them to apply conversational empathy to what you say too. Have you spoken to her about your feelings on the matter, she might just be totally unaware it makes you feel bad. They don't read social cues or expressions well so you have to be very overt with your intentions and what you mean, don't assume she'll do Anything without specifically and directly bringing it up. She might just like listening to you ramble too but she genuinely doesn't know what to say or her knowledge of social faux pas(If any) might make her hold her tongue. Don't discredit her because she doesn't respond in a way you like, at least talk about talking to each other and what you would like out of talking maybe? If you can't both talk things over like adults then it'll be a hard road.

>>40243570
im really scared im just that unaware and i have no idea everyone thinks of me like this..

>>40243570
I tried talking to her about it before, but she said she doesn't know what to say most of the time. Which is what you mentioned. But isn't that just being uninterested in someone?
I'm a bit autistic too but even when I don't really know how to respond to something I still try to say something so the other person knows I'm actually listening and interested in what they're saying, because I don't want to make them feel like I'm ignoring them.
Especially in a dating context I'm more used to people trying to get the conversation going, being interested in the other person and being proactive about it. If it was a normie I was talking to I would just assume she's completely uninterested in me.
>Do you have to ask her opinion on things when you speak or does she only occasionally chime in when you leave a gap for her to respond?
Yeah pretty much. Sometimes she also ignores me when I directly ask her a question but I've chalked that up to her being tired or distracted so far.
>If you can't both talk things over like adults then it'll be a hard road.
Yeah, I just don't want to keep bringing it up over and over again because I feel like that might be annoying too, so I wanted to get some other opinions first.

>>40243683
Well nonny, you can't be that unaware if you're thinking about it at all. Unaware people shut their ears to the idea of other people's perceptions(for better or worse?). Do you like the way you are? That is really what's most important is if you personally are happy, with a relationship you HAVE to make compromise because you are two different people. Be yourself, nobody wants to be friends with a caricature of (You).
>>40243694
I am not diagnosed but my bf is, and for a long time he also had the not knowing what to say thing and it was hard to not take his lack of interest as malicious even when it would consistently happen after talking about it. I think that is more a general social ineptitude that is amplified by autism, over time he became more of an extrovert and these talking foibles mostly went away but even then we still sometimes have trouble. Is there stuff you're both into you can have mutual conversations over? We both have our separate interests and accept we will just ramble to each other about our things and it's okay the otherside doesn't much to say because they care to listen and remember. I've had to change my perception of what a relationship can be like because yeah, he's not a normie and I'd assume him standoffish and cruel if he was but he's not and he genuinely doesn't see his actions that way. I've known him for 9 years and it took around 7 of them till he started to seem more comfortable, it might just take time or it might just be how she is. Does she make you feel unloved? Does she display affection in other ways besides talking? Gift giving or physical affection or acts of service might be how she expresses besides just talking. Maybe typing over The Wire about relationship stuff would be easier than in person for her? She might even just be uncomfortable over something she's too scared to talk about and the constant anxiety is an issue, if she doesn't work she might feel indebted and not want to say anything to tick you off?

>>40243825
im not happy, i just wish i could be normal and not autistic the only relationships i have with other people are online

>>40243825
>Does she display affection in other ways besides talking?
I don't know yet. I'll meet her in a couple of weeks. I'm hoping that it's maybe just texting that's the issue. For me social interactions are usually easier in person too.
>Is there stuff you're both into you can have mutual conversations over?
Yeah and that's usually when conversations go smoothly. When it's something that only she is interested in it's fine too, but I've been hesitant to talk about any of my hobbies because I know it would make me really sad if I showed her something I made and she didn't react to it at all.
>I think that is more a general social ineptitude that is amplified by autism
Yeah I think that might be it. My social skills used to be pretty bad too because I was so isolated, but now that I've actually spent time outside talking to people for almost a decade I probably learned a lot more skills. So maybe she just needs some practice. And I guess I just need to try my best not to feel too insecure when she doesn't react to things I say. I think it's probably also just worse for me right now because we haven't met up yet, I don't know what it's actually like if we're together.
Thank you nona, that was helpful
>>40243846
Even if I'm struggling a little I still really like her and I think that she's a bit autistic is part of why I like her so much. I don't think you need to change yourself completely just to find people you get along with.
>the only relationships i have with other people are online
Depending on your location it can just be really difficult to find anyone IRL in my experience. Have you tried going to some event or something like that where you're more likely to meet other autistic people for example?

>>40243979
no... i dont go out at all i neet... and i dont know where i could even go i dont fit anywhere, i cant bridge the gap now after not learning social skills for my entire life
im hoping meeting her will go well goodluck and have fun

>>40244031
It's never too late to learn new skills. You could try a computer club for example. There's also a lot of hobbies that have a high amount of autistic people in it, for example pretty much anything to do with computers would work. You could go to a computer club or to a video games convention.

>>40245546
i dont think anything like that would ever actually work, i actually dont know how to act around people im so akward

>>40243229
/thread

>>40245735
How old are you? If you never try you won't be able to learn. Being awkward around other people is okay as long as you're not being creepy. People who are actually nice people will also have sympathy for someone who's a bit awkward and will understand that you need some time to get comfortable. Have you ever met up with any of your online friends? Going to an event with a friend might make it easier too.

>>40246097
18, and no i live in a bad country and i dont have anyone to meet with, also that means they will see me as the manmoder i am and ngmi but i guess thats okay

>>40242970 (OP)
There is no such thing as an actual connection between two people, autists notice this because unlike normals they cannot be tricked by social conditioning, that is what makes them stand out and be weird/autistic. Ultimately the only way to get your autist partner to care about what you are saying is to say something that interests xer, you aren't going to get the fake interest that only exists to placate your feelings.

Is it one sided? Yeah. All conversations are.

>>40246476
18 is still very young! At that age I had very bad social anxiety too. But working and going to university forced me to go outside and after a couple years it got a lot better!
>>40246579
>There is no such thing as an actual connection between two people
I'm sorry you feel that way anon.

>>40246762
>you feel that way
Every autist knows its true, its up to you if you want to understand your autistic tranner partner or not, otherwise you can keep making threads like this I guess.

>>40246579
>>40246788
>i cant connect with anyone cause im too autistic (read: self centered) to connect with anyone
>this must mean no one can
gosh i wonder why the person with no theory of mind cant connect with people lol

>>40246762
i dont think ill be accepted into uni, is (the equivalent here of) public college or something like that good too

>>40246801
The normalfag fears truth, in his desperate search to have others "understand" him, he still has yet to realize he's never "understood" another human in his life. Eventually over time, relationships sour or pale, distance increases, a relinquishing of bonds occurs. Social conditioning is his mental cage, to break it may be impossible without severe trauma.

Smile and laugh, feel loved during a moment, in the next moments left alone, the creeping isolation is realized again. Everyone is born alone, and will die alone. Feel free to scream into the void.

>>40246881
Spoken like a true 14 year old who watches "philosophy" videos on YouTube.

>>40246909
Apparently that is enough to have you stumped. When you have something of worth to reply with, feel free to do so: otherwise you may have the last reply if that's something which will fulfill a sense of victory in your mind. I have no need for it myself.

>>40246579
>>40246881
Cringe

>>40246579
>>40246881
Based

>>40242970 (OP)
You don't.

>>40246881
Do you just not have any relationships then? That sounds pretty sad.

>>40248695
I would say spending your life in a desperate pursuit of other's attention and gratification would be sad myself. People come and go, the only thing you'll always have is yourself.

I'm sure for normalfags having no relationships would be a hellish existence, so I do understand your point of view on some level, I'm just not yourself, and never will be. The real hell for me would be pretending untruthful things are real, like there ever being any sort of real connection with others, ultimately we all use each other for entertainment and self-gratification. You look down on me for a lack of relationships, feeling more secure with yourself and your social standings: while I look down on you for being naive cattle that is only the manifestation of social trainings.

Both of us walk away feeling the victor, perhaps this is the connection others speak about as being real.

ha. ha.

>>40246839
Yeah public college or something similar could be good too. I think it also depends a little on the programme you're in and thinks like that. Computer science people for example tend to be socially awkward too and that can sometimes make it more difficult to make friends there. But still a college will offer other opportunities to make friends IRL, like clubs or other events that happen at the college.

>>40250684
hm thanks, i hope it doesnt go like school, i used to just sit and never talk to anyone and just be there. actually invisible

>>40242970 (OP)
as an autistic tranny, like a normal person i guess? what's the difficulty you have with them?

>>40246097
where is the line between awkward and creepy? because in my normal interactions i come off as a creep to myself because of how awkward i am. like every time i talk to someone it's like i wanna talk to them way more than they wanna talk to me

>>40242970 (OP)
>How do I talk to an autistic tranny without losing my mind?
You don't

>>40250898
Part of it might be that you're judging yourself too harshly because of your anxiety. But you might also be coming off as desperate (because you might actually be desperate to talk to someone), which not everyone likes. If you don't have a lot of experience and have social anxiety I think it can be really difficult to judge if someone is even a good match for you (for friendship or otherwise), and that can lead to you talking to someone you don't even have a lot to talk about with, which can make you really strain to have a conversation if you think it's just your awkwardness, which then might seem weird or even creepy. But sometimes people are also just bad at making small talk and you'll just have to carry the conversation. That's a skill you can learn over time too.

>>40250898
i dont know, i think i come off just as weird, but due to looking male probably as a creep to some, even though im not

>>40251174
honestly the not having a lot to talk about is the biggest thing. i mostly talk to people ive known for a long time or online so there are already things to talk about. idk how to talk to normal people irl because there isn't that level of familiarity yet

>>40251416
When you have some activity you share (classes, hobbies, events, etc) then it's a lot easier to start a conversation with people you're not familiar with yet. That's why actually going outside and doing activities is important.

>>40252237
im in college. i have some people in my classes who i talk to fairly regularly but im still awkward around them and idk if they would consider me their friend. idk how to tell when someone wants to be friends with me. maybe i just have a very high standard for friendship because the (online at this point) friends i do have ive had for years and are very close

>>40244031
what are your interests nonny?