The only times i've distinctly felt dysphoria in my life are times where I looked in the mirror and wished I had a pussy instead of a dick.

I'm feeling this way now, but I first remember feeling distinctly it 5 years ago when i was 25.

I've tried estrogen and that was nice, but my body's strong response to it kinda freaked me out (titties were sore for 5 months off just one shot of 3mg).

I guess I envy that trans dudes get to be pretty AND strong AND get to have a pussy but like???? this all seems insane of me -- i tried searching if anyone else has felt this way and i can't find shit.

Genuinely what the fuck could this even possibly mean??

Please advise...

so you wanna be a prettyboy masc dude with SRS?
or are you talking about theyfabs, tomboys and such

>>40244175
i mean, either/or really.

both seem like such a vibe (apart from y'know misogyny and transphobia and all the horrible shit the world subjects them to).

getting just SRS and nothing else tho seems kinda wild on my part...

>>40244175
I guess leaning more the former, cuz having strength is nice

It would be nice to be a lesbian...

any tboys wanna bodyswap lmao

>>40244155 (OP)
>The only times i've distinctly felt dysphoria in my life are times where I looked in the mirror and wished I had a pussy instead of a dick.
Just stop doing that and you're good

>>40245281
SRS probably wouldn't work or make sense unless I started taking E again huh

>>40245294
You're probably just agp and too malebrained to be feminine so you want to be a "tomboy"
It won't happen just be normal

>>40245400
what's AGP

>>40245411
This your first time on the board?

>>40245443
No but i've not been much, rarely if ever posted

>>40245477
Get out while you can, this place will trans you

>>40245411
the reason why men transition into transwomen

spoiler; it's a carrot, not a stick

>>40245487
is that a bad thing?

>>40245505
idk -- googling it it definitely doesn't match my experience, and doesn't match the experience of any trans friends/family of mine. seems that if AGP is a thing, it's a niche thing at most.

i was just looking to get perspectives and see if anyone has felt the same way before/what to make of all this

>>40245561
>is that a bad thing?
Yes, retard. There's nothing fun about being trans

>>40245613
There's gotta be something to it for those who are, given all they have to deal with.

Have seen it plenty from those i'm close to, and i have too strong relations to my friends/family/community to just disregard all their experiences.

I just think it would be nice to live as someone w a pussy. That i would like it.

Is this board transphobic or something?

cuz that seems counter to the point of it

>>40244155 (OP)
>I envy that trans dudes get to be pretty AND strong AND get to have a pussy
Transitioning as a pretty girl to male makes you end up looking like a weird uncanny goblin. it takes us a lot more work to get as strong as cis men generally are, and most of us hate having a pussy. I guess I would understand preferring a vagina to a penis as a gay bottom but why would you want to be ftm specifically? societally we are invisible and no one cares about trans people in general. I do not see the appeal at all

>>40245733
Transition is for people with a long-term (likely to be lifelong) fixation on being the opposite sex and suffer for it
Being a tranny is objectively worse than being normal, when being normal is possible
If you didn't feel this way until 25 you can be normal

>>40245810
i'm bi and bottoming is fun. definitely envious of those who can do it twice over lol. i get where you're coming from emotionally but the transmascs i know either come off as men or adolescent boys cuz lowkey they're in Puberty 2.

seems nice in that you can engage with masculine things in a healthier way while not having to be disconnected from femininity if you don't wanna be, vs. being more constrained into strictly traditional masculinity

>>40245811
i mean...to be honest i was/have been quite good at living as a male. life has been kind to me in that regard. but the shoe never fit right. it never felt inherent to me.

the first time i was referred to as a "man" when i was 18 it felt...wrong.

>>40245873
Wrong how? Most guys don't feel like men at 18, or even older. It's seen as something you have to earn

>>40245916
Ehh, I've hit the traditional metrics for it/"earned it" well enough. Between competing in powerlifting & combat sports, financially providing for ppl, romantic/sexual success with all genders, and most importantly taking personal responsibility in all vectors.

it's just like...if you put a bottle of E and a bottle of T in front of me, put a gun to my head, and told me to grab and inject one or die, i'm grabbing the E without hesitation. Shit i've already done E before.

The idea of being further masculine feels...idk gross?? the only thing i explicitly enjoy about it is having muscles but even then, i chose powerlifting over bodybuilding cuz i wanted to be strong not big (still grew but alas).

>>40245995
All I'm trying to say is don't ruin your life for a fetish

>>40244155 (OP)
I used to feel similarly but I ended up just fully transitioning. I only really experienced sex dysphoria and once I got SRS it all just kinda went away and I considered detransing, but it would've been more difficult to do that than to just continue being a woman.

IMO your best option would be to check in with a gender therapist and see if they can help you unpackage what you're going through and what would help you achieve your ideal body.

TL;DR: Go to therapy anon

>>40246271
honestly helpful advice.

that's been at the top of my to-do list and started making steps towards that this week.

thank u anon.

if yr comfortable, could i hear more about your experience?

idk if i want to be a woman (seems like a whole nother set of equally or more harsh constraints and obligations) but i know that if i was born one i wouldn't be mad about it.

>>40246525
I guess my experience was essentially that I always felt very strong genital dysphoria as a kid, and it made me envy girls and want to be like them.

I heard some friends talking about the story of a trans kid that tried to cut her dick off with toenail clippers, and it made me think, huh, that sounds like something I would have done. Then I started thinking more about transition and SRS and all that, and it felt rly right, so I looked into transition stuff and started self-medding spiro bc I didn't wanna fuck up estrogen.

Was still not comfortable with my identity and went as a they/them enby for a couple years, but once I became an adult with a full-time job I decided I needed to seriously work on the SRS plans and started saving up every dime and penny I had and started estrogen as well.

My plan from the get-go was to detrans after getting SRS and live the cuntboy life; I am also pretty skinny and never grew much in the way of boobs. But after a bit of estrogen and voice training, people stopped asking for my pronouns and just started assuming I was a woman. I then started to identify as one bc it felt like it would be dumb to correct them and I didn't care enough one way or the other.

About 3 years into my transition I got my SRS and it felt incredible. I would just lie in bed in ecstatic euphoria at the thought that I finally managed to get it, and felt like I could really live my life from then on.

As mentioned earlier, for much the same reason as I started identifying as a woman, I haven't stopped. I like to jokingly call myself a femboy to my friends sometimes and I don't care or correct people if they get my pronouns wrong, but I guess I kinda just see my womanhood as something put on to me rather than something I have to strive towards, I guess? Like I don't feel like a woman, a man, nb, I just feel like me and however people see that is fine by me.

>>40245810
>Transitioning as a pretty girl to male makes you end up looking like a weird uncanny goblin
Speak for yourself, anon...

>>40245810
>Transitioning as a pretty girl to male makes you end up looking like a weird uncanny goblin. it takes us a lot more work to get as strong as cis men generally are, and most of us hate having a pussy
thats because none of you have the cojones to take tren. man tf up

Kind of sounds like you want to take a dick but it's too inconvenient to do anal.

>>40246918
oh i do anal lol

bottoming with a pussy does sound more fun lol

>>40247073
Have you ever been pegged by an ftm?

>>40247090
ehh, not really.

typically they just want me to top them.

why do you ask?

>>40247131
You should try it

>>40247162
would love to ahahah

my partner is transmasc and we wanna do that, but we have to be long distance till december (long story)

>>40244155 (OP)
find a good psych professional who specializes in gender care. if you have a gender clinic nearby start there. this still may not help you get surgery, its just to figure out wtf your deal is and what options are worth it.


yes there's at least one person i know of who had srs only and got a pussy

but thats a huge surgery. A lot of trans girls don't even get that, and the reason you see trans guys as pussy men is cause most of us, despite dysphoria, aren't happy with the options.

you need to unpack.
- what specific features do you want?
- are there parts of your body causing you distress? for example, you mentioned pretty. do you want different facial features? Better skin?
- do you feel hopeless or empty at the thought of keeping those parts, or is it just something you wished you had
- how would you feel if you had lost function from potential surgeries - ie. loss of nipples/nipple sensation from top surgery
- does your dysphoria disappear, and if so, how often does it happen
- is androgyny important to you? is it socially important, in that you want others to recognize you as someone not entirely male?

while you mull that over, you can try tucking and various prosthetics. yes most of those are meant for crossdressers, but its important to start with temporary measures first so you can see what psychological effect your wanted changes have.

>>40247349
you're giving me a lot to mull over and i am very grateful for it. will actually write all this down.

thank you

>>40245294
it would probably work better desu no atrophy on the important parts
>>40244155 (OP)
ive seen cis guys online that got this theres even a subreddit for it idr what its called r/amab-something

>>40244155 (OP)
>Cis dude wishes they were a trans dude ???

?????????? Lmao? No? I like have a cock?

So true, Anon. Im a transwoman who decided to transition purely because i couldn't be a transguy, Im still trans and wanted to do something about my feelings but as the days go on i just get more and more depressed that i cant be what i want to be. It's very real dysphoria, and I've been laughed at for so long. Hope you go alright, buddy.

>>40244155 (OP)
Honestly sexo get the dick inverting surgery. Theres a lot of gay guys that get it.

>>40244155 (OP)
that is literally just gender dysphoria, shut up and take your HRT

>>40244155 (OP)
I kinda felt like this but then I transitioned

>>40244155 (OP)
can we trade bodies i hate being a pooner

>>40251250
>>40251257
oh word? is this a common experience for ppl? cuz i got a vial of Estradiol on my nightstand that expires this month but maybe i could do something with it...

>>40251685
would if i could chief

>>40248475
>>40250872
mm these bear looking into...the sub reddit i found is r/AMABwGD

>>40251239
shit's expensive gang....

>>40251257
>>40251250
wonder if it is just gender dysphoria, and if i take my HRT it'll go away.

in a way that would be nice b/c surgery is expensive and scary and ngl what i got is nice and my partner would be a lil upset

part of me fears that if i get on HRT i'll lose what i have, weirdly enough

>>40244155 (OP)
>envies afabs because they "get to be pretty"
>likes the effects of estrogen
>wants a vagina, literally has bottom dysphoria

honestly anon you're probably just regular trans.
questioning things like this can be very confusing. you could of course still be cis but i definitely see a lot of my younger, questioning self in this. (although opposite because im afab). usually when you make your realization, either that you're trans or cis, it becomes a lot clearer where the confusing thoughts may have come from and you can begin to dissect them from a newfound perspective. really the only thing that you can do is be patient and try not to force yourself either way.

>>40252844
you raise compelling and uncomfortable points.

idk.

being trans seems so hard ngl.

and it's not like i dislike being a dude -- i'm pretty good at it. having the body i do, the strength is nice. i like dumb dude shit (vidya, jackass, skateboarding, etc etc).

i see girls and i like hanging out with them and spending time and they're wonderful, blessed beings but i've also felt separate from them. i've never had traditionally feminine interests. idk.

the more i type this the sillier i feel lmao.

having boobs seems hard.

especially given i compete in combat sports. even running with em hurt.

after i tried E, got punched square in the boob during one training and straight up doubled over. had to feign like it was my shoulder that was fucked up lol

>>40246829
I was ugly as fuck before transitioning but so many ftms look bizarre with the huge poon eyes

prayers for us all