>99% of society hates me
>can't go a day without seeing transphobia
>constant infighting
>no one irl is nice to me

Remind me again, why do I have to integrate into society when it hates me? I don't even want friends anymore, everyone fucking sucks.

is it really bad that I just want to be alone? again, 99% of society hates me, what's the point?

>>40255394 (OP)
plus I've learned to love being alone. people aren't worth the trouble.

>>40255394 (OP)
You know you only think this way cuz your only exposure to what “society” thinks about trannies comes from rarted internet politics. Some people irl do suck balls but for the most part no one actually gives a fuck

>>40255456
I have a hard time believing the "most people don't care" lie when Bills are constantly being proposed to get rid of me.

Obviously people care more then they lead on.

>>40255394 (OP)
based

>>40255394 (OP)
Discord?>>40255394 (OP)

>>40255659
what's based about being a fucking jobless loser? fucking moron.

>>40255571
Ok genius, since fucking when have politicians actually reflected the opinions and interests of the average citizen? Stop regurgitating the corny xitter YA novel esque doomerslop and make some damn friends. Not on here either

>>40255394 (OP)

>>40255394 (OP)
>>40255400

Based. Expectations are the root of so much suffering. I consider most people childish for having goals yet refusing to accept that they took on the risk of failure. Or that the risk allows their life to have purpose by contrast. They consider me childish for not taking on responsibilities because they assume I'm just too weak to achieve their level of success. I just don't want what they want, I see it comes with problems, no matter how hard they will try to shame me or hide the fact that they feel worse than they present. I am not missing out on anything, I have never felt jealousy and I probably never will.

>>40255807
I don't like her calling me a retard. That's fucking mean and horrible and I hate it and it makes me feel stupid. Fucking hell.

>>40255394 (OP)
i get this. i yearn for human connection so i keep trying but maybe some day i'll have neet ego death and not care so much. a genuine fantasy of mine is getting enough passive income to just go full hiko and split my time between grinding maplestory and going on extremely long walks
>>40255858
lovely art, metamy is beautiful

>>40255793
The troon hate is the popular part of their platform so they don't get lynched for all the unpopular things they do.

>>40255394 (OP)
how do you do this and still troon
t. want to live like this except i'm too much of a coward to take hrt

>>40256890
>i get this. i yearn for human connection so i keep trying but maybe some day i'll have neet ego death and not care so much. a genuine fantasy of mine is getting enough passive income to just go full hiko and split my time between grinding maplestory and going on extremely long walks
The only thing stopping me from doing this is that I'm still repping and not on HRT. I'm a tech worker with enough money to retire yet I'm too miserable to just get on HRT and go full NEET

>>40257077
oh? that sounds promising, you really should if you think it'd be good for you. even if you try hrt for a bit before any grand changes kick in while grinding out some last chunk of money.

>>40257201
I'm trying to get a new apartment and a remote job and I'm still nervous about getting on HRT. I'm too much of a pussy

I appreciate the unspoken rule of this thread that all picrels must be sonic related. Deeply based

>>40257264
i get that, it really is scary. but those platitudes exist for a reason, that nothing worth doing comes easy. i believe in you anon!
>>40257298
doing my part :)

>>40257432
>i get that, it really is scary.
I am too scared to troon

>>40257483
can you think of what you're specifically scared of? social ostracism? body changes not living up to your expectations? the idea of your body developing in an uncertain way at all? do you prefer the present (and potential future) of your agab to this, or are you just paralyzed? there's no shame in any of this of course it's just vital to put your feelings into words of any kind

>>40257635
>social ostracism?
It's 100% this. If HRT wasn't so socially taboo there would be no problem.
However even as a manmoder I need to either DIY, or find an endo. Then the docs would know

>>40257646
i see, i see. i wish i had a solution for that but i really don't - i hope you find yourself in the company of better people in the future, and can work toward that within reason. my gridlock rn is coming out and i fear some vague specter consuming every relationship i have. i totally get the reluctance of going official routes, but more because it introduces more arbitration between me and the care i need. doctors have a similar vow of silence as lawyers or priests or therapists though; at risk of losing their entire profession anything you say *is* safe with them.
to me there's a comfort to diy, you can talk directly to the merchant who is knowledgeable and generally helpful, and there's lots of resources here for that route as well.

>>40257963
>to me there's a comfort to diy, you can talk directly to the merchant who is knowledgeable and generally helpful,
The things about DIY that are uncomfortable to me since I don't really know who they are, and there's always the chance they get shut down. That said, I have ordered some DIY once and I managed to do it, but I backed out after a few injections.

The official routes, I'm okay with but I am nervous about the obvious threat of legislation banning HRT, and doctors quite conservative leaning and I would feel like they hate me anyways

>>40258006
>there's always the chance they get shut down
that's true, but there usually seems to be at least a few storefronts that ship to a given location (assuming you're in the first world). you mentioned it with official routes too, trans healthcare is sadly just under attack right now and people giving up and despairing is on some level what they want from that.
>I have ordered some DIY once
that's great though! do you still have it by chance? vials can last a few years in a cool dry place but it'd be understandable if you got nervous and threw it away too.
>doctors quite conservative leaning and I would feel like they hate me anyways
i've never run in with endocrinologists, but this sounds unfortunate. i've definitely heard the horror stories of ignorant doctors though, you should look for testimonies from trans people in your area if you're interested in finding a good physician in your area; i think you would need to get an officially recognized gender dysphoria diagnosis as well though which is a cost of its own

>>40258184
>trans healthcare is sadly just under attack right now and people giving up and despairing is on some level what they want from that.
Literally me. I'm not really trans if I can't just DIY and risk it
>that's great though! do you still have it by chance? vials can last a few years in a cool dry place but it'd be understandable if you got nervous and threw it away too.
I still have it but it probably doesn't last that long if opened
>i think you would need to get an officially recognized gender dysphoria diagnosis as well though which is a cost of its own
Pretty much I just don't know if I want to be put on a list or be known as the trannyfag to my conservative, probably Trump voting, doc and pharmacist.

>>40258530
>I'm not really trans if I can't just DIY and risk it
I'm sure there's some hyperbole here but that's not true, you can act contrary to your interests out of genuine fear
>I just don't know if I want to be put on a list or be known as the trannyfag
Yeah that could be a valid concern based on your state; I don't live in America so I don't know the day-to-day but it definitely sounds scary. Your reluctance isn't a point against your transness as I see it; if it were a more benign decision all these reasons not to would be totally adequate to convince you.
>I still have it but it probably doesn't last that long if opened
Probably not *as* long, but it's good that you have it, that hypothetically you could start any day and the only barrier is presumably acquiring syringes. An official diagnosis could definitely be delayed to a safer time while you diy in the background, even if it's not ideal

I'm enjoying this conversation btw, I hope this is helpful or at least gratifying or enjoyable for you as it is for me. Sorry that this is so much of the thread now op ////_////

>>40255394 (OP)
Sage.

>>40255807
I'm not autistic :(

>>40258930
>I'm sure there's some hyperbole here but that's not true, you can act contrary to your interests out of genuine fear
I am a very scared person. Part of the reason I work in tech is because I get to stay at home
>I don't live in America so I don't know the day-to-day but it definitely sounds scary.
Overall it has been fine but our government has decided to obsess over trannies, so even though it's easy to get it officially, and DIY, this could all change very fast
>I'm enjoying this conversation btw,
It's one I've probably repeated a lot. I've gone on and off HRT and I really just feel like I'm missing an opportunity

>>40259659
>I really just feel like I'm missing an opportunity
at risk of sounding grim this is very true... time waits for no one sadly. you have the hrt though, that's progress yknow? no one is gonna come into your house and take that

>>40259482
sureee

>>40260207
>at risk of sounding grim this is very true... time waits for no one sadly.
Yeah, I'd be transitioning very late, I'm already too old for this shit.
>you have the hrt though, that's progress yknow?
It might not be safe to inject anymore, it's fairly old. Ordering more is scary
>no one is gonna come into your house and take that
Hopefully not but I'm worried since the US decided trannies and mexicans are more important than real issues for some stupid reason

>>40255394 (OP)
because by year 5 of not interacting with cis people except when totally necessary out of fear you end up a friendless retarded loser like me

>>40260342
>I'd be transitioning very late, I'm already too old for this shit.
sorry to hear that anon. of course you know that "too old" is a kind of denying yourself agency too (not that i know your specific life details) but i wouldn't act like it's not a huge burden to bear... it really does feel tragic sometimes
>It might not be safe to inject anymore, it's fairly old.
when did you get it? most of what i'm seeing online is it's only bad to inject once the oil itself starts to go bad - which will be visible as particles or cloudiness in the vial - or if the stopper is broken or something
>Hopefully not but I'm worried since the US decided trannies and mexicans are more important than real issues
yeah it's ridiculous.. you definitely feel that culturally anywhere in the western world it feels like, i only hope it moves on at some point, be that in 2028 when the gop has to move on or whatever ends up happening

>>40260240
sorry for the side bar i just don't want a redundant post but idk, like these fetish things operate on such a meta level to me i can't comprehend it. is the fetish the acceptance of some imagined "subhuman" status of autism, enhanced to be sexually appealing through humiliation? like the meta-discussion about addiction really throws me off when i try to read this lol

>>40260468
>of course you know that "too old" is a kind of denying yourself agency too
HRT is an attempt to have control over my life, and I keep quitting and after multiple repeated failures I don't see it happening anymore

>most of what i'm seeing online is it's only bad to inject once the oil itself starts to go bad - which will be visible as particles or cloudiness in the vial -
Or if the oil is discolored. I'd still be nervous about injecting something that's more than a year old

>i only hope it moves on at some point, be that in 2028 when the gop has to move on or whatever ends up happening
It's only getting worse, and I think there will never be acceptance for lateshits and nonpassers
At the rate I'm going, I probably am going to be one of those hons that troons out at 40 and never really lived a real life, lol

>>40260647
>and I think there will never be acceptance for lateshits and nonpassers
this is a genuine concern, people treat people they find ugly as subhuman all the time and it really does suck. but most not-attractive people i know who are decent of character just stick with whoever they know and most of their life seems pretty nice.
>I'd still be nervous about injecting something that's more than a year old
that's fair, of course if your gut tells you you shouldn't you shouldn't
>At the rate I'm going, I probably am going to be one of those hons that troons out at 40
i fear i sound like a broken record at this point, but if you're not 40 yet you can prevent this! and if you're 40 you can troon before 41 lol
you can't *know* it'll get worst (or better) though, you just sort of have to take it as it comes

>>40261597
Thanks. Even if I start HRT again, I'm not going to pass and I'm probably just going to manmode

>you can't *know* it'll get worst (or better) though, you just sort of have to take it as it comes
Being a boomerhon probably would be worse. Repping is easy and trooning late means you're gonna be hated by everyone

feeling like listening to subliminal audios to manifest a infinite credit card so I never have to work and living like royalty, but in gay :D

>>40261734
>Even if I start HRT again, I'm not going to pass and I'm probably just going to manmode
i hope that turns out to not be the case anon.
>Repping is easy
is it? it sounds like a shit or piss type of situation, just metering out a real present that you don't like with an imagined future you don't like. sorry for saying it so confrontationally

>>40262699
>i hope that turns out to not be the case anon.
Well if I manmode that's more hopeful
>is it? it sounds like a shit or piss type of situation, just metering out a real present that you don't like with an imagined future you don't like.
It's easy because I don't have to do anything