I can no longer tell if I’m feeling genuine dysphoria or just other depression feels anymore when I think about my body and how I’m still a man in the world. I remember old situation when I was still meeting trans people irl, and how they treated me. Softly sure but I feel genuine disgust at my self. Idk
I know my rogd tocd and agp/agamp are super imposing everything
If I had a genuine gamble soul or was trutrans or transitioned much earlier in life or felt comfortable as a human being I know things would have been ok but now I gotta be a faggot online just to get answers
I hate my therapist for asking “what I want from them” and be saying “what is true” and “to feel safe” and crap like that cause now o don’t know if they treat as a girl for their moneys sake or because it’s true.
Hate this ambiguity
Constantly between calmness and manic “mental suicide” and obsession

>>40257556 (OP)
>Constantly between calmness and manic “mental suicide” and obsession
You have Cisgender OCD.

>>40257556 (OP)
You're only trutrans if your dad rapes dogs

>>40257582
Wdym
I just wanna be real

>>40257680
You're trans, but the intrusive thoughts are telling you you're not. If it's actually OCD, the intrusive thoughts can't be fought head on, doing so will only make them come back stronger.

>>40257736
Yeah I might be feedinf this ocd but whe. I find others situations or other trans people in general I see the same thoughts come back. Idk anymore it’s too exhausting atp and I fear the ambiguity is a deeper issue which sorta Ames my whole “trans identity” shaky and fake for multiple reasons. Idk anymore. Why can’t I be like them is my point. Msybe I could have been fine as a regular guy too if I stopped feeding my tranny thoughts and agp. Who knows now, but the thought is there
Prolly should stop…
Hrt repping

>>40257556 (OP)
are you cute

>>40257823
Accepting doubt and uncertainty is essential to managing ocd.
Here's a link to a website that includes a lot of strategies that helped me manage my thoughts.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/self-care-for-ocd/
Focusing on more specific aspects of transition like whether you like the effects of estrogen, whether you want to feel like a girl, how you feel about being called a girl, cute, and so on, instead of the label trans can help a lot too.

I don’t feel ok anymore :)
Msybe I’m not a girl :)
I’m not ok :)
Why do I feel bad

>>40257556 (OP)
I wish I could be kissraped just like in the OP image

>>40257556 (OP)
>I wish I was trutrans
>AGP OP image
?????

>>40259487
I’m mef actually

>>40259450
Moid

>>40257556 (OP)
I know the pain, I'm also an ROGD agp (idk about tocd it doesn't sound like me desu I'm more obsessed with the idea of me being faketrans if anything) it's awful. I feel a lot of pain from it because i know that if i was trutrans i would have transitioned much sooner and more adamant about staying on hrt when i was caught. Instead i just have all these doubts all the time and am only really trooning out now. It's odd how my life would be 1000x better if i suffered earlier with my dysphoria. I also get that feeling disgust from everyone who knows, even therapists. Idk I'm in the same boat i wish there was anything that could be done I'm sorry anon

>>40260089
I DONT WANNA BE ROGD AGP
FUCK
FUCK
FICK
FYCK

>>40260160
Me neither it's torture i can remember the good times when i was cis and happy with myself and they make me feel awful because they make me feel like a man, i try to transition but i get too in my own head about being an agp faketrans hon spiritually raping all women with my disgusting misogynistic display. I hate it all so much