my life fucking sucks

mine too :(

>>40322216 (OP)
As does everybody's, stop being a miserable fuck and fix the issue, there is always a solution, wether good or bad. My life is full of shit, but I don't complain, I fix it and I thrive. Do the same, lil attention-baity baby. ;3;3;3;3

>>40322222
Give me a detailed instruction or you wasted all these numbers for nothing

>>40322216 (OP)
i was planning on going back to school in the fall and just had to drop my class and defer for the semester. I keep getting told that I just need to do the next thing and then i can return to school. first it was a stay in the psychward, then a 6 week residential, then a day program, and then it was ECT. I got sent to another 6 week residential and then more stays in the psychward before getting shipped to the other side of the country to the place ive been at for almost 2 years. at each point i was promised that i could make my own choices about my life once i finished whatever thing i was doing. I had to drop out of this teaching fellowship that i was rly excited about, decline job offers that I was looking forward to, and drop so fucking many classes bc at each point i believed the lie that i could go back to living my life once i finished "the next thing". I feel like i show that im responsible and can get things done--i have a part time job on top of the intense therapy schedule, ive done all of the paperwork for legal name/gender change by myself, did everything for applying and registering to schools, ive been chasing down insurance so i can get an orchi, working on a plethora of car issues, reading lots of academic books to keep learning somethings, taking on and competently doing various responsibilities in the community, and dozens of other small things this year yet even still my therapist worries that i won't be able to do homework. so ig we'll see if i get to go home and actually get to go to school in december :/

>>40322216 (OP)
BLACK EXELLENCE POST, THANKS FOR SPREADING AWARNESS!

>>40322265
How do you even have all these resources wtf

>>40322278
my stepmoms insurance is really really fucking good bc she works in a competitive field but her employer doesn't offer stock options so they make up for it w other great benefits. And i think my dad feels really guilty about a lot of stuff from my childhood so he's breaking the bank for this despite that i really just dont even want it
>basically parents have money

>>40322234
Well, it depends on the exact circumstance a person is in, and what they are trying to achieve. There's always suicide, or self-improvement. I can tailor this if I know more, otherwise, that's the best I can do. ;3

>>40322278
i was gonna ask the same thing

>>40322287
I see…

>>40322289
I'm just trying to get a job after a nasty layoff. Not american but still anglo

>>40322304
Then I can assume you have prior qualifications and obviously some experience, there's only one option, a thing I'm currently doing myself, and that is to 1. Keep religiously applying, as much as you can, as long as you can, make it like an actual job to apply for one, and 2. If you have the time, perhaps focus on building a new skill, getting into a new hobby, or practicing a trade, that, not only will distract you from current circumstances, but can be added to your CV to garner more attention and approval from potential employers, stuff like DIY, community volunteering, clubs (hiking, diving, ya know, the outdoorsy shit), learn to play an instrument. It's all crap but boy do those fuckers love it. ;3

>>40322333
thanks this gave me a panic attack

>>40322339
Lol, how? Because I told you to do normal things or because you're insane? Or is it a weird compliment? ;3

>>40322344
All of that i guess

>>40322347
Ah, well, okay then, thanks dude. Good luck to ya! ;3

>>40322216 (OP)
I will always be a retarded MALE loser with no friends. Years of hrt left me with zero changes besides cones. I still think and get horny like a man as well. I barely ever leave my room and can't get a job. Someday my dad will kick me out and i'll need to kill myself. I'm probably autistic and nobody actually likes talking to me, just tolerates my presence sometimes on disc. I still yearn for my acquaintance's attention TWO FUCKING YEARS after we fucked to no avail. I'm too scared to kill myself. Everything gets worse.

Hate being faketrans and depersonalizing when I stare at my face and ugly body even though I’m trooning out
Trutrans also don’t have rogd like me I should have trooned out at 15 when I started fapping to yuri Mtf hentai.

my mind's in a weird place today so i'm just gonna try and tell my story or part of it. i'm a terminally cynical shit-out-of-luck mtf, think of me as like a tranny moe szyslak. i grew up as an awkward ugly loner in a post-industrial shithole and everything has been shit for me and my family as long as i can remember, over and over in my life i've tried to turn my fortunes around and gotten kicked to the dirt again and found myself bitter and angry at the world. this happened again when i moved abroad for the third time in my life back in the winter hoping to get a new start. a few months later it started to disintegrate and i ended up in a psychiatric hospital after a suicide attempt.

ever since i got out it's been constant highs and lows. i had a couple of pretty bad breakdowns where i abused substances or hurt myself, i got blocked by one of my oldest friends and almost alienated another by cutting myself with the bathroom door open while she was visiting from abroad and leaving her find me in my room covered in blood and drunk. i've tried to clean my act up since this. i haven't cut myself in like a month and a half, i've had a couple of slip ups with drink but i'm two weeks sober rn, i've also been working out and eating better and i've lost like a stone. today is hard though and idk why.

i can't afford mental health support and my options here are even more limited than back home. i'm lonely as fuck here in general and have no actual friends irl, just a few acquaintances. recently i've tried joining things but it's too early to say if i'll make friends through them. i do feel like they might also just be acquaintances though, it feels like i just don't have enough in common with people to strike up a friendship for now. i sometimes wonder if i've just lost the ability to actually relate to others, positivity can annoy me really quickly and i tend to just assume everyone has an ulterior motive or is out to get me. how cooked am i?

I will never have a boyfriend and I hate it so much

>>40322216 (OP)
my life is so shit. i cant go two straight days without crying. my parents are transphobics but i live under their roof and they pay my bills so i just have to accept it until next year where i hope i can find a job and be in college
also i could only start hrt last year after coming out to them 4/5 years ago and being heavily dysphoric since idk 2015 or 2016. this last one is partly my fault i admit but still i suffer from it and i will keep suffering from it till i die
i also need a rhinoplasty asap because its the main thing holding me back but im poor and my family is poor too

I just graduated college, and I'm finding a job soon. I hope to move out of my parents place this year. I am 23 turning 24 and going to start trooning out immediately when I move in with my boyfriend. I regret not doing it secretly sooner but I was afraid of getting kicked to the street while doing college.

>>40322216 (OP)
>>40322221
>>40323222
That's why you are trans

>>40323816
my life sucks bc im trans not the other way around. hope this helps

>>40323843
sure buddy whatever you say