I'm still hung up on this girl I had a crush on over a year ago. Even though I was only actively in love with her for a week or so before my family moved across the country and I only got to touch her a little bit it feels like my brain was rewired to perpetually want her attention in the background. Now she's passing and making friends and stuff and I'm just stuck manmoding as everything in my life gets worse. I still talk to her sometimes but I can't ever tell her how I feel. To her we just fucked once and then I proceeded to make it weird by being in love with her. I wish I'd never told her I loved her. She was nice about it and I wish she wasn't.
She has a boyfriend or some kind of poly relationship with a femboy and his boyfriend now. Sometimes I'm in vc with them both and she'll tell him she loves him and without fail it makes me hurt. (I'm aware this is incredibly cucked but I can't bring myself to cut ties with her and move on). I should kill myself.