>>40352216 (OP)Transition helped me greatly. My hobbies didn't change but my socialization did. I still play games, watch movies, go for walks and hikes, draw, play piano, and dance. I'm far more socially integrated now and have friends and acquaintances both in real life and online who I can do things with. The confidence boost from being authentic to yourself is huge and very powerful for socialization. I don't feel invisible anymore. Taking the leap and just doing it was worth every bit of struggle. Especially voice training and learning how to do makeup and dress. The difference in appearance is absolutely massive when you apply a few tricks to look more feminine. Then seeing myself in the mirror makes me happy and that happiness radiates out and makes it a lot easier for me to get along with people I meet or to be casual with people I'm not extremely close with. I used to only be able to talk to a few very close friends but now my social circle is a lot larger.
This next bit is genuine and while somewhat unrelated to the topic of this thread I wanted to ask anyways. Alongside my gender dysphoria, I have always felt an intense dysphoria / dysmorphic longing to replace parts of my body or my entire body with machinery or mechanical prosthesis. Ideally I would replace my entire body but that's not possible. Is there a word for this? As long as I can remember I've felt intense jealousy seeing characters with cybernetic parts and especially fully robotic characters. It isn't specifically the prosthetic part but I really wish that my body was machine. I know this sounds retarded but I'm serious and I've never heard anyone else express similar feelings nor can I find anything about it online that fits me. Am I fucked?