my bf and i broke up last week and i thought i’d make a thread where mtfs can talk about what dating has been like. i’ve had 3 bfs since transitioning 6 years ago


bf 1
>straight or bicurious. dated for 9 months. we broke up when he moved. not a very good guy and not very attractive

bf 2

>bi guy. dated for over a year. probably more straight passing than bf number 1. emotionally available at first but we argued a lot. most attractive man i’ve had in my life but very hotheaded and lwk retarded sometimes

bf 3

>nerdy straight guy. we were together for 7 months. very thoughtful and caring at first. no ambitions and was content working his dead end job. did not put much effort into the relationship

has any mtf here had success on the dating market? where did you meet your partner and how? has dating been difficult for you?

>>40353526 (OP)
nbf
>weird bisexual that threatened to push me in front of a bus. admitted after breakup that he hadn't actually liked me for over half the time we were together and was too embarrassed to break up

gf 1
>only irl matchup of some weird discord polycule
>how i know i can fit 7" down my throat
>probably the best relationship i've been in so far
>actually felt kinda loved

gf 2
>BPD trainwreck disasterfest gigahon transpan
>basically used me for sex half the time
>only upside is that she was 6'0 and could pick me up and stuff

>>40353542
thx i feel a little better already

>>40353526 (OP)
most tranners on this board don't go outside so you might be asking in the wrong place

>>40353526 (OP)
>has any mtf had success on the dating market
yes but only through dumb luck desu

>>40353662
how did you meet them?

>>40353526 (OP)
I've only ever had the 1 an it's my current one. Only been together 3 months so I can't really give much of a breakdown beyond I think I might love him, he's already said it to me but I haven't been able to say it back yet because I was unsure if I did or not and needed a little more time.

>>40353781
how did you meet?

>>40353834
On /soc/ and we just happened to live very close to one another and share a lot of interests so we met up for a date and it's been going well since.

>>40353847
the only time i looked on /soc/ i just saw porn and gooner threads. can you actually find decent people there?

>>40353864
You can't but if I'm being frank, it's a pain, you've got to sift through a lot of posts of gross nudes and guys just being weirdly thirsty to find normal people who are just wanting to talk hobbies and such with.

>>40353883
ok yeah i'm not going there

>>40353889
I meant can, not can't.
But honestly, still probably the right call.

>>40353761
discord. we were both really young (15 and 16) and happened to live close.
we still edated for a few months bc i was scared to tell my parents i was dating a guy from the internet but we've been together 7 years and live together now so it worked out

>>40353983
that's so cute!!

>>40353983
7 years! That's amazing, so happy for you two.

bump

>>40353983
omgggggggggg ^D^!!!!!!!

>>40353983
cute

>>40353983
waow

>>40353864
that board is cancer

>>40353983
Niceu. Do you work, or does he work, or what? How y'all pay the bills?

>>40353526 (OP)
my dating life has been horrible

guy 1: total hikki we hung out twice then he blocked me, he tried messaging me again but fuck him

guy 2: got admitted to a psych ward after breaking up with me

guy 3 cheated on me with a femboy

guy 4 told his family I'm a tranny and his grandma had a heart attack

guy 5 had an issue with the age gap after we started dating

>>40353526 (OP)
decided to finally dip my toes into dating, at first I went to a queer speed dating event, got three numbers, made out with a cute cisles at the afterparty, went on a date the next week, got together two-three weeks after that, been living in heaven on earth since (7 weeks ago)

>>40357588
>guy 4 told his family I'm a tranny and his grandma had a heart attack
no way no way no way whATttttt

>>40353526 (OP)
I met my bf on here somehow, we've been together 2 years and haven't had any real issues at all, we spend a lot of time around each other and it feels amazing, I do worry about him being too good for me though and leaving but he reassures me every day

>has any mtf here had success on the dating market?
yes and no. to just get passing out of the way, i think how well you pass effects what dating is like. its not that passing more means its better, but it in some ways gives you more options. downsides is you also have more options for disappointment or people being weird to you.
as my transition has gone on i've found dating has become easier. the main thing, i think, is self respect. the higher my self worth and the more confident i am, the better its been. if you think nothing of yourself you're more likely to settle for weird people who will treat you badly. knowing your worth is very important.

>where did you meet your partner and how?
generally the people i've had the best experiences with have been those i've met naturally through friends or just living life. expand your social circle and do things you enjoy! if you're part of the world around you you'll have a much easier time than if you're just searching for people alone

>has dating been difficult for you?
it used to be! lol
have your shit together because how difficult it is depends on how much work you've put into yourself. we have it on hard mode already do yeah work on yourself

>>40353542
what happened with gf1?
or are you still dating but poly?

>>40357709
Do you just put yourself out there on dating apps and such? I tried downloading Tinder once and got scared 10 minutes in and uninstalled it.

>>40358225
i have never used an app other than grindr. i have actually had good luck on there. it helps if you're pretty and again know your worth. i've had really nice dates and stuff from grindr but you have to be willing to sift through tons of shit men.
generally i think just go out and meet people. people like it when you're willing to connect that way, it gives you an edge!

>>40358306
Connect where? I am well known in my university and I do go out to cultural events and such but so far no one has hit on me, it's partly my fault because I am shy. Idk, it feels like if I try to hit on a guy irl and then he realises I am a tranny it'd be terrible (I am also stealth rn), do you tell them upfront? Let them know subtly? Do nothing?

>>40358369
im a fair bit older than you i imagine so its likely my social situation is a bit different. i have met most of the people i've dated through friends of friends, or at parties, or stuff like that. if im into someone, i tell them! you're right that shyness might be a factor here. i get people hitting on me at bars or whatever but in terms of dating, i don't exactly get people just asking me out, out of the blue. instead its come when i've told them i like them. if you don't want to be the one taking the lead you can always say
>you should ask me out
for example.
>(I am also stealth rn), do you tell them upfront? Let them know subtly? Do nothing?
this is a hard one and its trick to give advice because it varies so much contextually. i do let people know quite quickly if they don't already (for example, if im at a party with friends and so am sort of out by nature of people knowing me). you get used to doing it tactfully, you can like bring attention to it without going
>by the way im trans
lol. i won't lie i have had negative experiences of guys turning agro when they learn but 99 times out of 100 its really no big deal, its either the guy doesn't care, or maybe has some questions, or else just politely ghosts. which sucks but is fine! rejection happens to cis girls too.

>>40356656
we've both at times worked while the other didn't. right now we're both college students job hunting, very lucky to have parents who support us in the meantime