>be me, 14
>only have 2 friends, one nonbinary the other a trans woman
>feel like i'm going insane from how much i hate being a woman
>try to look up successful women, female inventors, female esports players, etc
>don't feel any better
>obsess over differences in males and females, especially reaction speed (thanks matpat)
>lean harder into femininity to try to make myself feel better
>only get more dysphoric, obsessing over my hips voice and being totally unable to look down when undressed, even on the toilet
>finally ask my tgirl friend if i might be trans, not telling her all of the above
>"less than 1% of the population is trans so prolly not"
>cry for hours after
>start taking antidepressants
>only makes me feel worse, start walking as far as i can from home at night
>not able to walk very far, weak from intentional malnourishment to slow the effects of puberty
>turn 15, pretty soon after come out to most people i know as nonbinary
>only my mom and my sister use my pronouns
>mfw my trans friends don't even use my pronouns
>mother is kind of cringe, calls me her sapling but it's kind of endearing and better than her being unsupportive
>live in missouri so could genuinely have been put in conversion therapy if i was unlucky
>sister calls me a bitch all the time, gets upset that i'm "turning it into a gendered thing"
>same year, come out as a trans man just to stop people using she/her for me
>finally works, everyone is using he/him

>i meet a cis guy who says he's straight
>play games with him all the time, deep rock galactic, rimworld, nuclear throne, etc
>keeps flirting with me all the time
>feel a bit weird about it, he said he's straight so it's probably just jokes
>turns into outright saying i'm his partner
>go along with it, eventually start actually dating
>still confused, happy to be desired and affirmed though
>keeps calling me his boyfriend
>calls me handsome and cute
>start erping like a week into the relationship
>don't send nudes because i feel uncomfortable with that
>end up losing my 2 trans friends because my life is consumed by relationship
>he keeps asking for nudes
>eventually cave in, feeling really nervous but feeling like this is my only chance at finding a guy who'll like me
>censor some parts of my body, figure he'll understand i'm dysphoric about my chest and my lack of dick
>he acts really disappointed and says it's harder for him to imagine me with those parts censored
>his birthday comes up and he wants more nudes
>feeling kind of pressured from before so end up sending them uncensored
>get a lot of praise for it
>end up feeling like my worth is dependant on how much he wants to fuck me
>turn 16, break up with him because he started spending all his time with other people and i felt ignored
>have no friends or anyone to talk to after

Good lord there’s children on here. I forgot it was summer

>end up talking to 2 other trans guys i met online
>they're constantly insulting other people for the way they look or for just not being woke enough
>feel like i'm constantly walking on eggshells around them
>make a few stupid jokes
>vividly remember an interaction that went like this
>they were looking at a black rose in some game
>kept calling it an "emo rose"
>think to myself "so the joke is that emo is associated with the color black, okay i can make another sort of related joke that's equally as unfunny"
>call it an african american rose
>they go quiet and don't talk to me for the rest of the day
>a week later they make me apologize for a bunch of things i said wrong and end up blocking me
>no friends again

Stopped reading at 14. See you in 3 days champ

>>40354296 (OP)
Idk wtf kid drama i just read but make mentally stable but supportive normie friends it'll make you feel better.
Avoid mentally ill people, avoid social media, begone child.

>meet some people in a homestuck discord server
>stop talking to them after they try to get me to watch some object show
>eventually end up talking to nonbinary friend again
>dysphoria from being perceived as a man becomes too much
>he/him goes from feeling like my only alternative to making me want to peel my skin off
>still hate she/her
>silently switch my pronouns to they/them on everything
>don't bother correcting people, just avoid interacting with people who get it wrong
>still feel dysphoric and terrible all the time, still want top surgery and metoidioplasty
>still feel a deep pit of despair when i think about the fact i'll never be able to cum inside someone
>can't fucking stand he/him pronouns or masculine terks though
i'm 19 now. been on T since 16, i've been insanely unlucky in that department though. i had a bit of bottom growth at the start and my voice is definitely deeper but i haven't grown much more hair (which, to be fair, i'd probably just shave it anyway) and my body has barely masculinized. i went from 5'6" to 5'7".
conclusion: being a youngshit theyfab is soo hard. my disgusting afab body won't masculinize properly and my feeble mind can't handle being gendered as a man or woman. pity me muchly

>>40354296 (OP)
if you want, we can be friends and game and stuff!!! my discord is raybover

Don't worry to much about the friends you make now in school, Typically they never stick. That being said there are thousands of online communities that are safe for you. Just be careful who you interact with.

I am sure you are a wonderful person but there is no need to rush. It may be hard but try and enjoy the simpler things. Even if only part of your family is accepting, that's kind of a win.

You will be okay, You are you and there are other people out there who will be better friends than anyone who might meet now. Stay safe.

>>40354489
You want to be a woman... but... it's just not spicy enough
...
how to become more spicy...

>>40354489
The rare theyfab on T
I kneel
But just do what makes you comfortable and eases dysphoria. You seem pretty alright, im sure things will get easier as you get older

>>40354296 (OP)
You're underage. Leave this website and stay on discord or youtube or wherever and do not come back ever. I'm not trying to be an asshole but this is not good for your mental state I'm saying this as someone who's been here for 11 years. Leave NOW.

>>40354380
>>40354442
>>40354480
>>40354599
are you people retarded? i thought it was immediately obvious op was telling a story starting in childhood. can you not read?

>>40354788
They're mentally a child. I win.

>>40354380
should've clarified i was writing about the past my bad
>>40354493
wasn't thinking anyone would wanna be friends but i'll think about it
>>40354521
genuinely very kind reply thank you, i'm pretty lucky with my family and i've had better luck with friends recently, it pisses me off though when they try to comfort me by saying i look androgynous when it's just not true
>>40354524
this is more what i expected

>>40354839
no pressure! I just LOVE rimworld and need someone to play deep rock galactic with and you seem chill

>>40354489
>being a youngshit theyfab is soo hard.
rough but lateshit is worse in every way
>pity me muchly
muchly pity given.
it'll get better, make some nice (not bpd) friends, keep doing what makes you comfortable, and it'll work out fine.

>>40354788
>are you people retarded?
Yes
>i thought it was immediately obvious op was telling a story starting in childhood.
Read like teenager drama, they are 19. . . a teenager.
Weirdly specific memory of unimportant discord drama holds a implication that they are young and this event couldn't have been more than a handful of years ago and if they were older i think that would imply more about them.
> can you not read?
No i can't :(


t. bunnyposter