>>40361733After a while I came to believe I no longer needed therapy, that I was happy to live as a feminine man, but it was just repression, my mental health started deteriorating, dreams about being a woman became more frequent, getting dressed up for a drink no longer felt enough to alleviate the dysphoria, it was so bad it became noticeable, I was becoming a husk, and it was worse than in all that time no one ever let me forget what I once was, it was a constant reminder that I was transitioning and that for them I had just passed it out of cowardice, and maybe they were right in mocking me for stopping, I should have been stronger and thankfully, my body didn't change much, my face never masculinized, no body hair, wide hips, thick legs, weak arms, it's as it was just waiting for me to decide to come back, so I did, we weren't sure if the psychotic break was due to drugs, booze, abuse or the HRT, so she suggested me to take it slow, to test how it would make me feel, after a while and seeing that I was returning to my old self, I went in fully and I couldn't be happier.
Of course you would never feel related, I lived a completely different life in a drastically different world, but no, it's not like I was a dudebro that suddenly wanted to be a girl, don't know why everyone insists on that.