I really really really really really really really don't want to be gay.
>Just transition
I tried that. That doesn't fundamentally fix anything.
Is there a way out other than roping?

sauce on manga?

>>40359284
Don't bother, it's ass

>>40359259 (OP)
You are programmed to like men. It was born into you from the womb. You cannot escape your programming. All you can do is accept it.

you can be celebate

>>40359294
I don't think I can, or rather I have but I'm not okay with it.

>>40359297
I've tried that, that's also just clumsily slapping a bandaid on the wound and doesn't fix the fundamental issue.

>>40359259 (OP)
whats wrong with you being gay

>>40360701
A lot.
>Significantly more difficult and expensive to have kids, would also be handicapping them without breast milk
>sex with men is inherently degrading
>historically treated like poop for it, now a rotten undersocialized adult
>even people who "approve" are going to tacitly disapprove sometimes (e.g. family)
>can't ever be truly normal, fitting a square peg into a round hole at best

>>40359259 (OP)
just imagine you're a ftm who got her wish thats what i do:)

>>40360910
his

>>40360910
Eww, gross, not my thing.

pretend to be a woman so you don't have to mentally deal with being gay - that's what literally 99% of the men here do

im kind of amazed this life happened to me
i dont remember what happened before i was gay and trans
i wonder if i changed but i really dont know.
it feels like being a boy was a past life and im like a new person now
when i was going through puberty, i said i was uninterested in sex because i didnt want to be pestered about girls but i was gay
my boyfriend wanted me to be feminine. he got upset because i wasnt enough of a girl
i softened my voice and my body for him
i thought he wanted me to be a girl so i took hormones
but he didnt like that and i did
i tortured him by taking away someone he loved
he said stop doing this youre becoming someone that you arent
you're a boy you wont be a girl
i wanted to make him happy but i was always vain
it was about me
he treated me like shit and i stopped loving him after years of being screamed at and mistreated
i dont know where i was running but now im here where im a trans woman with more time ahead of me than behind
and childhood is worse to remember
nobody wanted me to be a boy
nobody wanted me to be a girl
nobody wanted me
was i ever delicate or did i want to be that way
was i ever feminine or did i want to be that way
who even was i
its all gone now and im somebody else
oh well

>>40361306
That doesn't work, because I know despite drugs and surgery I'm really a man.

>>40361411
as long as people treat you less shitty cuz you aren't openly gay anymore and are docile due to the castration - maybe it would help u feel better
trans people are treated 100x better than open gender non conforming homosexuals are - if they weren't - they wouldn't transition

>>40361424
Please read the OP before kneejerking

>>40361449
if you can't accept being gay you should pretend to be a woman
>that didn't work
try harder
keep at it

>>40361502
That's unhelpful and inconsiderate. I did. I still know what I am and my family still views me as a guy. Stop hurting me

>>40361533
but you don't see yourself as a gay guy
you see yourself as better than other gay men
you deserve straight cock
you deserve societal inclusion
you aren't just a bitter self loathing fag - you are a woman - get them to see you as the woman you truly are inside!

>>40361538
I do see myself as a gay guy and worse than the rest because I can't even revel in that or take pride in it. I'm a disgusting person who wants to larp at being straight

>>40359259 (OP)
Well how gay are you exactly? Do you fantasize about sucking dick or have you actually done things with guys?

>>40361954
But ideally you want to be treated as female, and you believe you would be happier being socially seen as female, right?

>>40361972
I've actually done things

>>40362029
Yes

>>40359284
it's Kimi Dake ga Hontou
>>40359289
yea its ass and i thought the ending was horrible

>>40361389
i'm sorry to hear it anon. life's hard isn't it

>>40362041
ok then in some sense you don't see yourself as a gay man, you see yourself as different from most gay men (unless you believe gay men all want to be women like you do I guess), and you believe you being a gay man is a transitory state you will eventually escape if you can afford the right surgeries

>>40362041
My question is more framed about how you feel with guys vs with girls (if you’ve been with girls). Could you even possibly do things with a girl or are you just infatuated with gay shit? There’s no point in even asking this if you’re going to want to fuck guys the entire rest of your life

>>40362076
I've already gotten FFS and I don't want SRS (which means I'm not a trans woman). I'm different from gay men in that I am really sullen and isolated

>>40362086
It's a moot point, only men are attracted to me. Not even gay men, only bi and straight men. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't try to repress and be with a woman in part because I am an incel when it comes to women.

>>40362089
I wouldn't want my penis sewn to my balls either - I cannot say I blame you!
>I'm different from gay men
you idealize womanhood and the social treatment females receive
I mean shit I get it I'm a gay man and people treat us like shit but I don't think castrating ourselves and shaving is gonna fix homophobia, its just making it far far worse

>>40359259 (OP)
How does it feel to be fully gay?

>>40362104
its really fun being gay but HOLY FUCK people treat you like a misbehaving monkey just for doing fucking anything its like being trapped under a microscope - except when I'm around other gays and then I get treated like a human - unless they are the self hating kind - then its a weird mix of them struggling to be cruel to be normative - but realizing im not worth that mistreatment

>>40362096
Are you feminine looking & submissive? I’m confused on how “not gay men” don’t want anything to do with you but straights do, which is word for you guys were fucking in secret. I need more of your situation before I can give advice anon but it’s sounding like you enjoy gay sex without wanting to actually be gay.

>>40362116
trannies believe closeted gay men don't exist - being gay is accepted so that couldn't be them - and everyone who is gay is out and nobody would be gay but lie that they are bi or straight to seem more normal
if you say you are straight and act straight - trannies take you at your word - kinda like how you are supposed to be about them being women

>>40362111
I mean, everyone reads me as being gay, but idk if I am really, I am definitely transgender, and how do y'all have your gay initiation? I see so many of y'all really 100% gays, always talking about how you like, fucked a boy or a friend in school??? That thought literally never crossed my mind and I never had any gay sexual experience, girls liked me back then though.

>>40362116
>Are you feminine looking & submissive?
Yes, I pass

>>40362128
i saw other boys changing/naked - knew I liked it pretty early on - well before knowing the word or concept of "gay"

>>40362136
>I pass
lol delulu

>>40362124
I’m more just looking for clarification with OP’s story himself. Women & gays weren’t going for him, which I can see because of how choosey women can be & since OP’s ashamed I think it’s not inaccurate he wasn’t marketing himself out to gay men. But yet someone this distraught by their sexuality has still done vulgar things with other men claiming they’re straight or bi.

>>40362164
its basically him trying to brag that he passes and yet has this too cool for school attitude of accepting being male despite supposedly being universally perceived as female

>>40362141
>i saw other boys changing/naked - knew I liked it pretty early on - well before knowing the word or concept of "gay"
Never had that towards any actual guy, my fantasies regarding guys never involved a real embodied person, I like dick, big throbbing dick, regular sized dick, suckable dick, thicc, girthy dick, but not really the guys they're attached to, I guess if the guy realy knew how to fuck and had a dick I liked, I could maybe develop something deeper, but idk, girls are kinda nice, but they don't have the dick I need.

>>40362136
So you don’t want to transition or be a straight up tranner, but do you like appearing & behaving more feminine? Dressing like a girl?

>>40362196
you sound like a retarded child trying to impress others by proving you really like men because I guess you don't think they will believe you are really gay unless you say cock 10x a minute
maybe this is what interacting with meta-attracted AGPs is like - synthetic performative homosexuality expressed by bisexual men who don't really feel what they loudly claim to feel

>>40362225
I don't want people to believe I'm gay, I just want to know WTF it means that I'm attracted to a specific body part but haven't been attracted to the rest so far.

>>40362240
You could just get off on pretending to be a girl since you also want to be feminine too. Thats not necessarily trans, plenty of crossdressers and femboys to prove there are men who just have an affinity for behaving more as women

>>40362337
I'm already transitioning, I'm already on HRT, although I'm a bit early into my transition, I became very dysphoric and dissociative a while back pre-transition and also severely depressed, was starting to have mild panic attacks, was overeating, became fat and was starting to get suicidal and having trouble controlling my moodiness.

>>40362427
hrt is a placebo

>>40362437
Not really, I can say there's been some clear benefits to my mental health, now what's bothering me primarily is the social isolation of it all, I'm not angry anymore, I'm still depressive, but less so (I think I'm genetically predisposed to depression), I rarely have suicidal thoughts now, dysphoria has eased up a lot, no more panic attacks either, I still overeat but not as much, and I lost the weight, but it left me with shitty skin and stretch marks, which fucking sucks.

>>40362465
because you feel less shameful for being gay now because it decreases your libido
transition is a woke cure for homosexuality for traumatized gays like you

>>40359259 (OP)
I was like that when I was younger. I eventually learned to embrace it and am happy. You'll get there. Also, gay sex is incredible

>>40362473
Why would being gay cause dysphoria? Dysphoria is real, I didn't give a single shit if there was the possibility of me liking men as a man, but really that was an illusion because I was dysphoric and wanted to be able to explore femininity since age 12. Now I'm not even 100% sure if I'm gay (or straight trans, whatever), all I know is I am attracted to penis, I am also attracted to women and trans women, but never have been attracted to any specific man, in real life or in media.

>>40362518
because people who have female bodies are allowed to like men and act girly without being bullied or traumatized for it
dysphoria is internalized homophobia
you call it something else because nobody is sympathetic towards the suffering of gays

>>40361389
You sound very fucking strong. Don't live for anyone but yourself ever again, and don't accept anyone who'd ask you to change. Even in healthy relationships, you come first. If nobody ever shows up then you have yourself, and you couldn't ask for a better partner than them.

>>40359259 (OP)
Hi
I don't want to be gay either
We should make a suicide pact

>>40359259 (OP)

There is a way, you're gonna make it!

https://www.reintegrativetherapy.com

>>40362217
I have already transitioned. I said that I tried that in the OP.

>>40362164
At my most desperate I even looked on Grindr and got nothing.

>>40362192
It's not universal and I hate this cruelty, this assumption I have a malevolent intent and I'm not just badly hurting.

>>40361028
why ew? it's just a way of being grateful

>>40359259 (OP)
grow up

>>40363644
Develop empathy

>>40359259 (OP)
who cares
literally what's the downside
it's not like being a tranny where your life will be ruined by medical expenses and body horror and looking like a gross hon

>>40359259 (OP)
Hahahahaha
Not a therapist but here is my take
You think you are too good to be gay…. kind of obvious but the point is you have a narcissism issue or inflated self image when really you are just homosexual
You should get diagnosed with NPD and seek treatment

Idk gay sex really isnt degrading, especially because it’s an act we can do without needing women… if anything its liberating having sex with men….
If you go to school and get a good job and are assertive people will still treat u well
The problem is OP’s a total fag and thats why everyone treats him bad for being effeminate… man up bro…

>>40359259 (OP)
I want to fuck the brainworms out of OP

>>40363763
I've already addressed this >>40360870
And I also said I transitioned in the OP. Can you not read

>>40363768
I don't think anything positive of myself at all.

>>40359259 (OP)
This bitch needs my cock

>>40363820
Low self worth is part of the narcissism diagnosis.

>>40359259 (OP)
transitioning would be better if it completely and totally killed your dick and balls so you couldn't be a "gock" transbian.

Also why is everyone telling this person to transition
Are meta attracted agp’s actually just self hating homosexuals wtf

>>40359259 (OP)
I really do want to be gay but I'm not faggy enough

>>40360870
>Significantly more difficult and expensive to have kids, would also be handicapping them without breast milk
adopt a kid who's older than a baby
>sex with men is inherently degrading
skill issue
>historically treated like poop for it, now a rotten undersocialized adult
>even people who "approve" are going to tacitly disapprove sometimes (e.g. family)
>can't ever be truly normal, fitting a square peg into a round hole at best
sorry but people are shitty and it's their problem not yours

>>40359259 (OP)
I was like you when I was 14 and I also didn't want to be a tranny
tried repressing it but trooned out eventually, unfortunately I'm a hon now

>>40363832
How? Source?

>>40363835
I mean it did. Like I said I tried transitioning

>>40363883
>adopt a kid who's older than a baby
I want a baby, sorry

And it doesn't matter if the rest of the stuff is external, in practice my life still sucks

I'm trans

>>40359259 (OP)
Just don't be gay then?

>>40359259 (OP)
be bi

this thread feels weird
vibe shift indeed
we're back?

>>40365885
>>40365940
How? I've tried and it didn't work. I'm just not attracted to women

>>40366102
Force yourself to look at straight porn.
Watch straight porn brainwashing videos.

>>40366102
hentai, and coom less so you'll be a bit desperate. find.something that doesn't leave you feeling gross, that's more important (here) than instant attractive. also look at traits & kinks you already like.