>be me, 25
>decide to hang out with my friend (20) because we live in the same state and there was fireworks happening a few towns over from us
>she took the train, and I decided to drive
>it starts to rain at night, and it completely ruins the fireworks- I offer her a ride home because she'd have to wait an hour otherwise
>she agrees and I drive her, we get food along the way and stop at a rest stop
>drop her off around 1 am (this is the time she would have gotten home by train anyways)
>after I drop her off she tells me she got in trouble with her dad because he didn't trust her getting a ride home from a "stranger"
>suddenly hit with the gut wrenching realization that I'm old now and at the age where being friends with people still in college is weird and that anyone under 21 is basically a baby

Anyone else have a similar experience? Or like a sudden realization that you've aged? It just hit me kind of hard last night, yet I can't help but feel like I'm not in a place in life where I should be at my age. I don't have a career, I don't have many prospects, my life is unstable, hell, I don't even have a job right now. It's just so sudden to me, like 5 years flew by like nothing, and I achieved nothing... And now I'm already at the age where it's not appropriate to go out and do things, to be out late at night or just go explore. I'm old, and only getting older... And, like, where do you go from here, you know?

>>40378499 (OP)
Eventually you won't care.

>>40378513
I think it's less that I care about the divide and more that I still feel immature and like I haven't accomplished enough.

>>40378499 (OP)
I get you, but when I was in college I had plenty of friends who were 25+. and at 25-29 I had a number of college age friends I hung out with regularly. hell, I had friends in their mid 20s when I was in high school and no one considered it particularly weird at the time

now if you *only* hang out around people much younger than you or have a history of making advances on them, then yeah, that's weird. and as a parent, her dad has a right to be wary of you being that kind of person if he doesn't know you. but also she's 20 and can make her own decisions, it's ridiculous that she's "in trouble" with her dad over something like that

for the career thing, I was in the same spot at 25 and eventually got it together (via a reference from a friend I made in college who's 6 years older than me, funny how that goes). everyone moves at different speeds in life. I have friends who landed 6 figure jobs straight out of college, and their lives seem incredibly dull and 100% centered around their jobs, and missed out on so many experiences that I value deeply in pursuit of that life. it's always okay to go out late and do cool things and explore, anyone who tells you you can get too old for things like that leads a boring life and wants to enforce that on the rest of the world

you'll find the path meant for you in your own time, good luck anon

>>40378499 (OP)
20 is an adult. If the girl still had hover-parents telling her that she shouldn't be doing whatever, that's not because she's a kid, it's because they are overprotective.
>>suddenly hit with the gut wrenching realization that I'm old now and at the age where being friends with people still in college is weird and that anyone under 21 is basically a baby
This is such a weird attitude. I swear, people treat college like it is the new highschool, like college students are "kids". They aren't. College/university is a vocational education that you can take after your mandatory schooling period ends. I think maybe because everyone goes to college now, it seems more like school than it used to when not everyone did it, and because people go straight after highschool commonly now, it seems like an extension. But that is an illusion. They are not school children, they are adults in a vocational education. And no it's not weird to be friends with people in college. If you are friends with someone be friends with them, how sad would it be to break off a perfectly good friendship because of this bullshit?
> It just hit me kind of hard last night, yet I can't help but feel like I'm not in a place in life where I should be at my age. I don't have a career, I don't have many prospects, my life is unstable, hell, I don't even have a job right now. It's just so sudden to me, like 5 years flew by like nothing, and I achieved nothing...
Tons of people are in that position. I'm 26 and I am in a similar position. The economy is fucked all over the world, it's hard to get your foot in the door anywhere. Lots of us are not mentally or financially where we should be. It sucks but don't beat yourself up about it.

>>40378499 (OP)
>And now I'm already at the age where it's not appropriate to go out and do things, to be out late at night or just go explore.

So a 20 year old is a little baby who's parents can dictate who she goes out to meet, but a 25 year old is an old man who should stay at home and not have fun? Does this logic make sense to you? So what period is supposed to be the period of freedom and exploration and fun? One second you are a child the next an old fart? I don't buy it. People have forgotten there is something between youth and old age and it's called "the main fucking period of your life". Don't stop yourself from enjoying life because of arbitrary nonsense.

I have a friend who's sister is in her mid 30s. She's ten years older than the rest of us. She spends her time playing pokemon, going out with her friends and she routinely travels to other countries for the hell of it. She is very youthful for her age and she is happy. Meanwhile, I know people that are in their 20s, already married, even some with kids, and they are miserable. Of course, there are unhappy people in these circumstances also, and happy, of all different circumstances and age ranges.

Point is you have to live life authentically to your own interests and desires, because the only alternative to that is always doing what other people expect of you, and before you know it rotting in a grave without ever having done the shit YOU wanted to do.

>>40378717
I'm sorry but this is awful advice. "living authentically" usually means doing a lot of drugs and having a lot of sex and generally avoiding responsibility. you should do what makes your family proud and your society work fluidly. if this means 'repressing' some desire within you, do it. you will eventually find meaning in duty.

your friend sounds like a loser who will die alone and with regrets. those 20 somethings with kids will eventually get the hang of it and be glad that they started so young.

>>40378751
>boomer breeder opinion
Sir this is /lgbt/

I'm turning 30 in a few days and I'll probably start studying again in a year. Will probably get my first salary at like 36-37
At the end of the day it doesn't matter. I struggle with feeling inadequate but considering the life I've lived and its struggles I'm happy to even be alive.

>>40378751
I genuinely feel bad for you if you really think this :(

>>40378751
Imagine thinking that you can't be free, live for your own goals whilst being responsible. This woman I described travels a lot yes, but she is smart enough to have gotten into a field that allows for that travelling and often finds jobs abroad. Drugs and sex can be had in moderation, or not at all, because once again it's YOUR choice. Respnsibility is a sliding scale at the end of the day, if what your are responsible for amounts to yourself, it's not that hard.
>you should do what makes your family proud and your society work fluidly
Lmao get out of here with that confuscious ass bullshit. Living to your family's expectations is a great way to always be doing shit you don't want to and are not interested in. It's also pretending that your family is perfect, and that their expectations are reasonable. Newsflash, tons of people have shitty families. And even if they are good people, they still should not dictate how you live. And in terms of serving society? You are just serving rich people. That is the bugman mentality that makes Japanese salarymen do nothing but work overtime everyday before dying of a heart attack i their office in their 50s.
>you will eventually find meaning in duty.
You can also find meaning in art, exploration, spirituality etc.

>your friend sounds like a loser who will die alone and with regrets.
Maybe, or maybe she will simply live a life that she enjoys.
>those 20 somethings with kids will eventually get the hang of it and be glad that they started so young
Maybe, or maybe the family will break down, or the kids will come out deformed, or the couple will grow to despise each other, or they will be destitute etc. No path is the objectively correct one and life can fuck you over no matter what you choose to do.

If working a career and having a family are what you think will bring you happiness, do it. Not everyone wants to do the same shit as you.

>>40378499 (OP)
>after I drop her off she tells me she got in trouble with her dad because he didn't trust her getting a ride home from a "stranger"

she's 20, she can do as she likes.

>>40378499 (OP)
menthol?!?!? African AMERICAN

>>40378623
I don't usually, (especially irl, everyone I know is older than me) but I do notice that a lot of other trans woman I talk to are younger than I think at first and it makes me feel bad and like a creep, imo.
>>40378656
For me personally, it's because I dropped out at only 19 and have been working since I was 16. Especially for college folks who haven't worked before it makes our life experiences very different, and often people with less experience are less mature, I've found.
>>40378717
See this is how I used to view things, but now I have this like aching feeling that maybe I'm wrong for being so idle. Idk.
>>40378751
Why are you even here if you have such chud opinions? You had some points before you went off about "making your family proud" or whatever.

Idk, anons, it just feels like I'm struggling to find meaning, or be good at anything? And it just bothers me a lot right now, I guess. Idk, at that age I didn't feel much responsibility either and I'm realizing it's a bit childish I suppose

>>40378499 (OP)
Im 27 and started talking to a 21 year old. They were mature in some ways, and definitely not in others so it was very weird. Made me feel like I was clinging onto my youth even though it was just a person I liked. I am getting old and I wish I stopped wasting my time

>>40378893
my friend dated a 21 y/o at 27 when I was living with him. it seemed healthy enough for a the first year despite my expectations, but ultimately her immaturity made the relationship crash and burn, and when he broke up with her she completely crashed out and fucked up his life

that said I think a relationship like that can definitely work. and doubly so for a platonic relationship

I am 22 and still live with my parents. I don't have a car or a job though I'm desperately looking for both. I've never had sex and I don't have any close friends. On top of that I have some sort of dysphoria/body dysmorphia. I don't really feel or look old despite my age. My life since I graduated highschool and the virus hit has been shit but I don't want to rope yet.

>>40378499 (OP)
It took me dating a 19 year old at 24 to figure that out. To be fair, my life at 19 required more responsibility than their life at the time. I was brought up overly responsible and it backfired. But he was too immature for me to deal with so I broke up with him.

>>40378751
>slavishly devote yourself to doing something you don't want to do only because """society""" demands it
>if you don't deliberately make yourself miserable and then breed to make yourself even more miserable you're letting others down (?)
>the only other option from this is pure degeneracy and drug addiction, there is zero in between

I really hope this is just bait and isn't someone's actual world view. You never signed a contract with society or the government promising you'd be a good breeder and produce useful economical productive offspring. You can choose to live your life without hopeless drug addiction and without the oppressive weight of other people's expectations.

>>40378499 (OP)
i would prefer not to be around anyone under 22 or so, but i dont feel particularly old
t. 28

>>40378893
Yeah, that's kind of what it feels like, I guess? Like, I'm hanging on to all the stuff I used to at that age like going out or driving around at midnight and seeing where it takes me. Idk. It just feels like I should be past that stuff or that feeling and that longing, like I should have more of life figured out by now but I just... Don't.

I'm a 33 year old tranny whos been on hrt for 11 years now. Not only am I older than everyone else I've been on hrt for longer than everyone else. At least pre-covid trannies are still somewhat relatable, but its pretty much impossible to find anyone from my era of transition. All the old trips I knew from here I've slowly lost contact with too

>>40378798
how do you cope with the fact you’ll be in your late 30’s making entry level money.

the same amount as a 21 year old.

or even worse… is when someone much younger is managing you.

just curious

>>40378499 (OP)
>Or like a sudden realization that you've aged?
for me it was seeing a pay phone at a ski resort last year and dialing the "free bible verse of the day" number taped beside it to see if it actually worked and my 20 y/o cousin was like
>wow ive never seen anyone actually use these before, can i try?
before that i went to a trans support group for the first time in like 8 years and realized immediately that i did not fit in. i dont have to worry about passing, losing my job or friends or housing, getting disowned and what not at this point, and theyre all super early on so they do

>>40379594
Oof, yeah, that last one is hitting especially hard right now. I'm not in a perfect place, but it feels like I've gotten past the roughest stages of my life so far. Especially in regards to dysphoria, and what not, and it just feels like being dragged down sometimes being around people who are so depressed and self loathing (and honestly, probably how I ended up getting on here for the first time in like years to post anyways)

>>40378834
Your elders have more experience and wisdom than you. there are bad families for sure, but most are good. I find that many people who whine about their families online tend to be the problem, rather than the victim.
>You'll just be serving le capitalists!
and I'm sure that going to burning man and doing a bunch of drugs frees your mind man. You won't be able to secure a good retirement/life for your family if you do not work.
>you can also find meaning in
>>40378877
I lurk here to see what I could have become. I 'came out' as gay at 17 and am happily married to a woman now with baby #1 of many (hopefully) on the way. It is never too late to change course.
yes, but you do that AFTER you do your duty. You have weekends, you have retirement.

>>40378499 (OP)
>me, 18
>hrt since 17
it's so over for me

>>40379694
Oh I'm sure you're very happy, that's why you're on 4 chan. >_>

Also using this as a bump for my thread, ig? I just had like another thought in mind about maturing and what not, like, I haven't self harmed in years- and when younger trans people talk about it it makes me feel so old. Now when I feel down I pivot towards other bad habits, like smoking- but I don't even drink anymore. Anyone else moved away from more harmful coping mechanisms as they got older?

>>40378547
What do you want to accomplish? Be happy with humble accomplishments initially, you can build off them, and if you don't you will be happy with them anyways.

>>40379442
NTA but maybe by not being a clueless retard?
Do you not know how much of a fucking joke the economy is? People making obscene amounts of money for doing almost no work, just because they were born to the right parents.
There is no "correct" amount of money to earn in any context because we don't live in a meritocracy.

>>40380191
Well, ideally, I'd like to have a job that gives me enough money to support my partner and I, just a bit more than paycheck to paycheck you know? Just- comfort really, I don't need anything big or to make hundreds of thousands, just enough to live and not worry about bills.

My issue is, I suppose, it just feels like I haven't accomplished much in that direction, or any. The highest I've ever gotten in most jobs is middle management- and I stepped down from stress for one of them and the other was a temp position. My only other prospect is restaurant work, but that kind of environment is so stressful and destroys your body completely. I've also gotten a bit lame because (I assume?) covid, and then later mono, so I just can't do anything job that puts pressure on my body like that anymore. And right now, I can't even find a job. Just feels like I'm so far away from where other people my age are career wise.

I guess the other possibility is that I'm being a control freak about not having total certainty and control over where I am in life right now. But, I'd really like to try my best to not be my father's child.

>>40380345
Honestly fair enough. I don't know what your skills are so you will have to figure it out for yourself, but I think most people who are ambitious enough get there eventually. Your still in your 20's right?

>>40378513
ai art is so cucked

>>40378499 (OP)
You’re making something about her about you. He is concerned that he doesn’t know you, you turn it into an age thing out of nowhere. I’m 28, I’m in college late as I had another life planned that fell through, no one even knows until I mention it and I’m interacting with 19-22 year olds daily. Dated an 18 year old girl for a few months at 27 because she approached me, and she simply found it cool or kinky or something when I told her. You’re genuinely overthinking it, 20’s are 20’s, just vibe and be ready to move on to the next crowd when the time actually comes.

>>40378499 (OP)
i do sorta know what u mean but tbdesu the dad in this situation seems quite overprotective. u dont treat a 20 yr old like a 16 yr old.

>>40380371
Yeah, 25. Aside from any chef related job, just management. First job was security and second was retail. It's good experience, but I struggle to stay in them, i guess? It's middle management I think- having to answer to someone who talks down on you like you're stupid (or worse, jobs where your manager can get away with yelling and screaming at you) just like, completely triggers PTSD I have and it makes it impossible to do long term without breaking down. It feels like there's so many hurdles in my way, I suppose- each one higher than the next and all impossible to jump.

>>40378499 (OP)
given that most 15-20yo's are more accomplished and have more real world life experience than me; no- its kindof the opposite for me; i feel nervous because im scared of everything; only my wife makes me feel safer

im especially awkward at nice restauraunts bc idk wtf anything is bc i was too poor all my life to eat at nice fancy places and also i dont have much taste for most fancier or foreign foods (outside of mexican) because of that too

39 in 2mo and i worked 10mo in my life and never had a single irl friend as an adult that wasnt a relationship that started online; id like to learn how todrive our new car someday but im scared to; im scared of dealing with cashiers and stuff; im better with my wife as i said but i feel like im not much of an adult at all

but i guess i dont have to be; so thats nice; i know i couldnt handle it really

i did do well at that 1 job i had though; and if i wasnt disabled i would try to work even though it would probably just be some part time shitty thing; i like interacting with people in other circumstances (like answering their questions about videogames at toys r us; which was my job); and i think i do ok if im alone too if its brief but idk; its not even really social anxiety im not diagnosed with that its just this discomfort from not being understood

i learned some confidence when i transitioned and my goddess helps me alot too but i dont feel like an adult; despite dealing with pain and health problems of a geriatric elderly person

i feel youthful mentally and emotionally even though i suffer alot

sorry for rambling!

>>40379442
I really don't care? Finding a job would be incredible already lol.
My partner and I don't care about making billions, but two wages would be super nice to buy a seafront apartment.

>>40379442
>tfw I still dont have my bachelor at soon 25y but have a business making enough to live on
Nothing really matters other than making it through the next month honeslty

>>40378499 (OP)
you just keep getting older...
just make sure you never make your whole personality being young