>>40417028>>40418483yeah....
I wanted to paint, figure skate, play the piano.. all of that was deemed too feminine and I was given the "manly versions" instead which was wood working, hockey, and a guitar. all of that I'm completely uninterested in, quickly became my fault that I never had any hobbies because I was "ungrateful and picky".. none of that would even be hard for her anyway, she's literally an artist herself and had all the supplies and knowledge to teach me while she would've had to pay for someone else to do wood working, figure skating was cheaper than hockey... I guess proper piano would be more expensive but she could've just bought a shitty keyboard and some sheet music.
I can do nearly all of that now but its just so... empty, I don't have any encouragement I would've gotten if she cared, she can't teach me anything about painting, can't ever be an excited kid showing a parent their shitty drawings anymore. any time i try I remember all the times tried while still living with her, how I got hit/yelled at for being too "gayly" and "relabelling" just cause i wnated to fucking draw a house or a cat or something
literally all of that is normal, hell even expected if you're a girl, I occasionally get to watch her interact with my niece when she posts on facebook and it's everything I've ever wanted from her as a mother. I can see how nice she was to my brother who was actually interested in hockey and quickly became a favourite child, Ill always just be the freak brat that couldn't be a perfect copy of her husband