"tee hee just take HRT and manmode you don't have to come out"
>have to wear a hoodie 24/7 to hide breasts
>they out you anyways
>locked out of any surgery because you have to tell a doctor you're trans
>no point in getting laser right now because it'd cost half as much if you could have insurance cover it but you'd have to tell a doctor you're trans and the laser person would instantly clock you anyways
>other trans women think you aren't really trans because you're "not doing anything to actually transition"
>while dysphoria-hitler tortures you inside your own head enacting the final solution on your self-worth
>at least you're on hrt or something
This shit is a TRAP. HRT won't solve the issue of being too ashamed of yourself to transition. It makes it worse. Every sort of neuroticism you can have is increased exponentially. I started in March 2023 and I might as well be fucking day 1

>>40494109 (OP)
>get a binder
>tell the doctors and no one else
>who cares what other trannies think
>better than repping with no hrt
Manmoding is hard but it's better than the alternatives. The neurotisizm will increase either way.

>>40494109 (OP)
if you havent been able to resolve your internalized transphobia despite hating having it then thats kinda on you atp girl
go to therapy

>>40494140
>tell the doctors
no
>>40494150
i cant go to therapy because i'd have to tell them im a tranny
>internalized transphobia
I'm not transphobic i just know that OTHER PEOPLE ARE

>>40494167
I feel like if anyone should know about trannyness, it should be medical professionals. You know you can select who you manmode to lol.

>>40494167
Self inflicted damage lol.

>>40494167
>>tell the doctors
>no
Damn sis.... I'm sorry that you're
FUCKING RETARDED HOLY SHIT HOW DID YOU MAKE IT THIS FAR IN LIFE BEING THIS STUPID??

>>40494174
>>40494184
>>40494189
no empathy from other trannies
sorry I'm not a turbo autist like everyone else and I'm aware of what others would think of me
once I hung out with two girlmoders and they were entirely oblivious that they got stared at hardcore by literally everyone. thats the type of person you need to be to socially transition.

>>40494167
This is suicide fyi

>>40494197
elaborate

>>40494109 (OP)
>>they out you anyways
not if youre dedicated
>>locked out of any surgery because you have to tell a doctor you're trans
they dont care
>>no point in getting laser right now because it'd cost half as much if you could have insurance cover it
insurance doesnt cover laser, sometimes it covers electrolysis
neuroticism is increasingly seeming to be the biggest obstacle in transitioning

>>40494194
I know. Then why not ask doctors to get surgery before girlmoding? What I'm gonna do, just show them your boobs and tell them your a tranny they ain't gonna tell your parents lol.

>>40494221
it doesn't matter if only they know. i'd still have to say outloud that i'm a tranny to a cis person.

>>40494109 (OP)
If you have dysphoria on hrt it would be worse off of it. If shame being on hrt is worse than dysphoria off of it and you refuse to address the shame then you have a valid reason to detrans, though I would caution against it as dysphoria can worsen over time off of hrt

>>40494194
Okay so there is a difference in the degree of investment you should have over the shame of revealing your trans status based on your audience

A doctor and therapist are SUPPOSED to know the dirty nasty issues that you have that may be shameful if they are medical issues. Your apprehension tells me you have some sort of deeper mental issue that causes extreme aversion to embarrassment. If your friends are pathologically oblivious to the shame of being stared at by rude people, then you are certainly pathologically oblivious in the opposite direction, to how foolish it is to let shame stop you from seeking medical help

>>40494233
What do you have some phobia to telling somebody your trans? They're literally doctors specialized in trans surgery they will take the money and get to work.

>>40494167
>i dont have internalized transphobia
>literally describes exactly what internalized transphobia is
>too ashamed of being a tranny to even tell a therapist who's literally there to help you with internalized transphobia
girl you cant be serious
you being ashamed of being trans because of what other people think IS EXACTLY what internalized transphobia is
thats the biggest thing holding you back right now
you're clearly unable to deal with this yourself, which is why im telling you to get therapy
>>40494194
not oblivious, just uncaring
they dont have internalized transphobia holding them back from actually living as women
people will glare at you and deride you even if you're the prettiest woman on the planet, that doesnt go away, what you can change is your reaction to it
envy these girlmoders that you met for shedding the worms, instead of deriding them for being "oblivious"

>>40494109 (OP)
*Wahhh wahhhh im so privilieged in my stupid boring life that i create a problem from my crippling porn addiction and no one want to take my side when im a fucking useless crybaby* Just kys, fucking do it stupid hon, you could fully transition but you prefer acting like a disgusting repper transbian. I hope for you you dont even try to groom youngshits on discord to be as miserable as you.
PS: kys

>>40494238
>Okay so there is a difference in the degree of investment you should have over the shame of revealing your trans status based on your audience
of course there is
>trans person
none unless its irl and I'm not looking my best
>doctor
would want to die
>family
would immediately die

>Your apprehension tells me you have some sort of deeper mental issue that causes extreme aversion to embarrassment.
No, I've been embarrassed a million times and it'd be nowhere near what I'd feel if my mom asked if I'm trans

>>40494248
i thought internalized transphobia was when you internalize your own transphobia not other people's transphobia
>not oblivious, just uncaring
they literally told me they weren't getting stared at
entirely oblivious, and this was in a highly progressive area.

>>40494294
Why not tell the doctors tho if your parents don't know, do you live with them? My parents would murder me and that's not an issue, I'll do surgeries and they won't have a clue.

yeah it's absolute horse shit. there's no magic fix you need to work on your inner self. growing big man tits doesn't help anyone, though finasteride is probably good if you're balding

>>40494194
I understand not telling anyone else, but you really should be willing to tell doctors. This kind of thing is their job.

>>40494294
>would want to die
Yes. Telling a doctor a medical problem causing you to want to die is not normal. This is a mental health problem. You need to acknowledge this because I noticed you portray yourself as “normal” compared to your oblivious friends. You need to acknowledge that this is a problem you have otherwise you will never get better, and that’s on you. Not on HRT being a “trap”. Take some responsibility

>>40494174
anything you tell a therapist you might as well just publish on facebook/linkedin/twitter for the whole world to see

When I said you should manmode I meant you should become a pretty griffithmoder. Get a real job, wear men's formalwear, and be stoic, and dignified. Only come out on a need-to-know basis.

Hoodies are for hoodrats, binding your breasts is harmful, and being this scared of other people is genuine cowardice.

t. real manmoder

>>40494437
There are fucking standards for medical confidentiality, you can get sued for breaking some of them if your a doctor. They're not telling anyone they don't need to know you moron, take your pills and find supportive doctors.

>>40494109 (OP)
im sorry everyone is being so mean to you anon. I manmode to and feel pretty much the same about everything you said. sometimes I think about detroon but I know it wouldn't be happier so I try to stick it out even if everything is miserable. I don't really have an answer but I wanted you to know you're not alone.

>>40494109 (OP)
You're not trans and nobody said HRT will solve your life. It only works for real trans women that take charge of their own life.

>>40494109 (OP)
An actual cookedshit appears.

>>40494109 (OP)
You are right
Manmoding isn’t supposed to mean u are in the closet, just that you use he/him pronouns
If you are too pathetic to handle people potentially knowing u aren’t cis then u shouldnt take hrt

forced internalized transphobia therapy for all manmoders so yall stop saying this retarded shit go outside and come out to people its really not all you're making it out to be

Where is the empathy for all the no effort boymoders and manmoders that "umm ackshully my pronouns" on 4chan?

>>40494635
Based

OP is saying u have to be super autistic to be visibly trans but that really isnt the case
Sexy people get starred at everywhere they go, even ugly women have eyes all over them if they wear shorts
OP is just a nerdy white guy who isnt used to being in the spotlight……

>>40494861
It's actually the opposite. OP if fixating as an autist does, and overblowing concerns like an autist does, and imagining criticisms like an autist does. The girls he went out with probably passed and were being glanced at for other reasons, as is normal when you're walking around. You glance at everybody. Even if they really didn't pass, the majority of trutrans a decade ago all ended up passing to a significant degree, and many were stealth. It was not uncommon for them to be asked when their last period was or for the doctor to schedule an appointment at a gynecologist.
OP is why they used to decline to treat autistic individuals seeking trans care. It does more harm to them than good, but now they try to make it everybody's problem.

>>40494786
i am down to talk if you share disc
>>40494861
>>40494904
both them got gendered male the same day

>>40495063
> gendered male the same day
Exactly
Man mode should be a no brainer, idk why u wouldnt tell the doctor about it

>>40494109 (OP)
>Every sort of neuroticism you can have is increased exponentially.
Yeah...
Even if you commit the dysphoria can get worse before it gets better.

>>40494109 (OP)
beats slowly masculinizing while still dealing with almost all of these problems

>>40496648
that has a lot to do with your natural hormone levels. afaik "normal" testosterone levels can range from like 100 to 1000 whatever grams per liter. so there's huge difference in how people react to aging

>>40494109 (OP)
Why care what other people think? I'm assuming you're an adult and not some 14 year old. This isn't high school no more.
>can't afford surgery
I can't either but that just means to get creative. I'm currently working on a legal case to become a eunuch/nullo by petitioning the supreme court under freedom of religion grounds as per 1st amendment, since eunuchs are memtioned in the Bible and ever since that assisted suicide bill, a new precedent has been set. Now doctors are authorized to kill people, why not lop off unwanted penis/gonads? Especially w/ an opt-in waiver.

>>40494109 (OP)
Yeah I completely understand, feelings like this are why I'm still repping in my 30's.

>>40494109 (OP)
skill issue
git gud

>>40494109 (OP)
This is what i did and u should too:

>Move to a different area for a year where no one knows u
>Be out
>Live as a tranny and face ur fear
>Walk down the street in a dress
>Dont isolate and force urself to meet ppl
>Make trans friends
>Go out dancing
>Live life
>Move back after a year
>Continue to manmode
>Be fine with it now since ur not so scared

>>40497253
why didn't you just keep girl/honmoding? why did you move back?

>>40494109 (OP)
at least you're less of a man

>>40497637
The city i was in was too expensive and i missed my family. I still go out as a hon very occasionally now but for my own comfort i typically dont. Its reallly not worth it? Like nothing to get out of that but more trauma