I don't like the way I look or sound or talk or behave or understand or think or live, what should I do

depends,find what your gender identity means to you (feeling safe being masculine or femminine,gender at birth doesnt matter philosophy says any gender can act like any gender)look at the people you idolize and see how they behave and try acting like that around people you fancy for company and they will quickly tell you wich parts of your personality and looks they like or dont u cant start refining from there :) i had to fake it till i make it act like a shy gentleman untill i felt safe acting like a macho then learning i can just Bee Myself aka a mommas boy ,and this transformation happened in 2months from being a kissless virgin to having hookups.while u learn who u like about others and yourself your beliefs will change and ull quickly find out who u want to be now and in the future <3

>>40500628
I feel more comfortable being feminine, but it makes me feel disgusting, like a dirty fetishising degenerate, either that, or I'm just so weak and unmanly to the point that my only option is trooning out if I want any semblance of identity.

The people I idolize tend to be people who have set bases for themselves, like when I hear their name or someone says their name, it provokes something, it's very weird to describe, and maybe I'm just making it up, anyways it's usually people with friends who want to hang out with them and have a strong sense of self, and they are usually creatives in some form, and usually trans, these are the kind of people I look up to to a sickening degree, to the point where I feel I can never feel happy with myself if I can't be a perfect copy of them.

I don't have a sense of self, I don't have confidence, I'm uncreative, and I don't really have friends.

I can't say that I am some evil incel chud who believes the world has wronged them or anything, most of my experiences with people are very flat, noone has ever found me bad, but noone has ever found me worth thinking about.

Im starting to get the idea that, I won't be happy with myself ever probably, and It won't get any better, as I get older, I get less chances, and things take longer, and if I'm having this much difficulty now, lord knows how torturous it will be later

dysphoria develops when you spend an extended period of time disconnected for reality such as in isolation, normal people do not think about things like that because they are constantly on the move and doing things, it doesnt even make sense, i am what i am? how could it be any other way. basically your mind is fucked because you sat on the internet too long and lost all context and cues from responsive physical reality to tell you who you are and began to disassociate your identity and now you cant find your way back.

>>40500698
i would say you have a fractured sence of self,you allready have the answer in your head but your emotions and fears and insecuritys hold u from realizing or taking risks or going out your comfort zone,if you dont like what you are or feel like you are right now all you need is a clean slate and a change of perspective,i would look up cognitive behavioral therapy,and simply put,you migh just be a person with black or white thinking,any belief about urself or the world being in either on one spectrum or the other,everythings a contradiction so everything is unsafe,im dealing with this now as im shedding my beliefs i got from 4chin and realize im not a monster and i can be loved and i am of use to myself,my friends n lovers and society,i just needed to find where im needed and if you started thinking when you were the happiest or made other happy you will quickly find how you can fit in this big society we live in :)

>>40500719
Holy shit, so I basically am not a real person anymore? What am I now?

>>40500743
you are a empty vessal,ready to be filled up with things u want :) a clean slate,just go out of ur comfortzone slowly,whatever sounds nice but seems to bring you fear,try your best to take little steps and ull quickly be running towards things that make you happy and ull quickly find ur the person u want to be,volunteer or join some peer support groups in this day and age alot of people are fucked in the head so you will fit right in,i spent 4 years sitting in a room with active addicts before i found out what my place in society is and what my personality is :)

>>40500734
My biggest problem isn't that I'm evil, it's worse, it's that I'm a person without drive to be anything

This one, it doesn't have an answer , my only reasoning is that I'm retarded or stuck up or spoiled or all three, but I don't have any drive to be anything, not out of spite, i just am like this, I'd rather give away my dreams and settle for mediocrity or even underwhelmingness (new word I just made up), then give the work needed to become anything I want to be, a creative, a fem, a friend people can count on.

One can say this makes me the lowest of the low even worse then bad people, because those people still have drive, they are using it for shitty and selfish reasons, but they are still doing stuff, I remember a saying that was like "evil overruns when good men do nothing" or something like that and that's basically what I'm implying, I am the worst type of person, a dead weight.

>>40500743
right now? nothing. it's like if a child suddenly woke up in the body of an adult man missing a lifetime of clues as to how they are supposed to act and feel.

>>40500800
That makes me sad

>>40500792
you should look up niche,negative nihilism,slave morality, it sounds like you are stagnant cause your beliefs about the world and yourself make you not want to strive for what you hold to believe to be good,in a sence in a world that is not good there is no good actions you can take,anything that would benefit you is allready rationalized as being bad or useless and you fail to start anything, in psychology this is called ''Risk Adversion'' look it up,it saved my life cause untill age 25 i was an empty vessal of a boy stuck in a adults body and now i found what i acctualy want to do and i never looked back :)

>>40500719
This person has zero experience with GD and pulled this out of his ass.

>>40500828
In the end, let's be honest

I only really made this thread for attention, I'm too apatehtic to ever change, I am hardwired to be like this, i am going to be miserable and I have to deal with it and that's all there is to this.

Il never get what I want, il never try to get what I want, and eventually il stop wanting, and then, I can live the life I was always ment to have, either at home, or at work, with nothing else in my life, pure unrelenting insanity inducing stagnation, that's my hope atliest.

I would like to say suicide but let's be honest I don't have the guts to even cut myself im a faggot lipped pansy

>>40500895
u sound like youre addicted to self pity,cause when you pity urself u can cope,i was like that when i was a teenager but one day ur self pity wont let you cope anymore and you will seek new motivations and new addictions,if you want to be an addict and depend on feelings/substances/emotions to live your life i suggest you best pick up a real drug cause once youre a substance junky then ur eligible for free counceling (this is a joke dont start taking substances you will lose 5-10+ years of your life trying to get sober) if you wanna talk or something im not bothered about helping (siicis4321 on discord)