In a really dark point right now. I dont think im ever going to pass and i feel generally useless. It feels like everything has lost meaning. My life was over before it began and as much as i kick and scream nothing gets better. I want to give up.

I keep fantasizing about being someones 12 month old daughter. Not having to do anything and just being loved and doted on and cared for and valued intrinsically not because of what i can do but just because im a baby and babys should be protected.

Idrk what the point of this post is i just wanted to tell someone and i dont feel like i have anyone irl who can understand.

>>40573170 (OP)
I have been here for a while. I'm lucky I have an awesome bf and spending time with him can make me feel joy again sometimes. But yeh I lost all My friends didn't really make new ones my family hates me and manipulated me my whole life. Idk how to be what to do anymore. I think the solution for gd has like a 30% success rate if it's taken post puberty. The other 70 are just left to try fail and rot. To think there was a time I actively looked for work online irl and really tried to pursue being a member of society so i couldto afford ffs. Nobody hired me for months now I just rot at home. I don't have the energy to be anyone. O feel rejected the opportunity to succeed. I hate life 2 I hope u get better anon.

>>40573224
I have an irl job but atp i really only have it to keep up with car insurance and buy myself the (getting less occasional) trinket to make myself happy for maybe a day or so.

I have some irls to but they mostly just make me sad atp. Nobody i know is really doing well. When i do talk to them again its nice for a bit but then they leave and im back to being empty. My baseline level of contentment is so comically low.

I think being trans is an inescapable curse that only comically good luck can overcome. Your 30% of trannies make it statistic is very accurate. I cant accept being clocky. I just physically cant. I hate being trapped as a man. I just want to be a girl and be accepted as such by society. Why is that so astronomically hard.

My gf broke up with me recently but i felt like that just accelrated these geelings. Ive felt this way for a while just not this intensely. I hope it gets better but i dont think it will.

Bump