I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me

I finally get my life in order, care about my transition and everything seems to get better

But everyone around me constantly fucks up and while they even lift me out of this shit and made me able to do what i do, it feels like they want to be in this position and it breaks me

I can't help anyone, my help is unwanted, but i break down and panic every time they write online about it
I fear to loose the only important people in my life
If i loose them it is my death sentence, i barely survived the last time i was left by everyone (when i trooned out)

I can't proceed like this
And if feel like i loose my ability to put effort in my life because of this

therapy

>everyone around me constantly fucks up and while they even lift me out of this shit and made me able to do what i do, it feels like they want to be in this position and it breaks me
some sort of combo imposter syndrome and survivor guilt? op, this message board isnt going to be helpful. if youre doing okay, spend some of that bread talking to a professional. but also, your success doesnt entitle you to shit. this cuts both ways. you arent entitled or "deserve" more and you arent entitled to shoulder everyone elses burdens.