A stupid vent about my dumb tranny life
> 24, boymoder
> non dysphoric childhood
>neurodivergent to the point of requiring a teaching aid in elementary school
> written up every year of elementary school
> buzzed head all of childhood
> learns about puberty, suddenly dysphoric
> desperate not to become a man
> middle school anorexia, late puberty
> when puberty arrives, it mangles my face
> referred to as "the jew" all through high school because of massive nose
> practically zero interest in sex until 17
> 16, certain I'm trans, about to troon out
> Suddenly gets a girlfriend, decides to rep
> Date for 5 years, 3 long distance
> I break up with her because we mutually suck and everyone is horribly miserable
> cope with breakup by becoming massive stoner, dysphoria hits like a mack truck
> two family members die the same year
> crippling paranoia increases, convinced I am abhorrent person due to breakup
> feels like I can never date again
> scared of everyone, especially cis women my age
> self isolate, lose all my college friends
> finally get on HRT and manage to graduate, but damage is done
> inept socially, chronic laziness
> gets job, but can't get full time due to federal cuts
> starts cutting
> off to grad school, but can barely stand being awake

I'm still stuck in the past and I want to move on. How the hell does one find the willpower to do better? Stupid post?

>>40587181 (OP)
drink water or something lol