I'm a BPD tranny and I've been doing a lot of work to get better, I don't split anymore but I still have one hurdle I can't pass. I know I have to learn to value myself more but I don't know how. I know I have many positive traits logically, I know I'm a nice person now and other things, but I still can't care about myself unless it's for someone else. What do I do?

>>40604233 (OP)
bump

Why do you need to value yourself?

>>40604276
not OP, but bc I want to have healthy and meaningful relationships, the current way I do things just leaves me alone time and time again

>>40604276
im able to stop my splitting and redirect but the emotions are still there because I still only see my value through the lens of whoever my FP is. I want to be able to love someone healthily and not cling to them as hard as I do. I want to not be as broken after every break up when I feel like I have no value to anyone and never will again.

>>40604301
but why?
that sounds like dependant personality disorder bit borderline nor bipolar.
you should find solace in solitude, not loneliness.

>>40604327
dpd and bpd have the same attachment pattern, when you control the splitting they're basically the same. I just want to be able to be happy healthy and productive without needing someone else now, I want to do it for me because I know I should love me like I want other people to love me, but I don't know how to love me even though logically I know I have a lot of lovable traits.

>>40604315
>im able to stop my splitting and redirect but the emotions are still there because I still only see my value through the lens of whoever my FP is
That's about as far as I got too, except right now I don't have a FP and I'm terrified of getting one

>>40604366
I don't either but if I don't have an FP i'm non-functional, I can't motivate myself to do anything because I don't care to be better for myself, I only do when it's for someone else because of the BPD

>>40604327
That’s what I’ve been trying to do for the past 6 months but I like being around people and having friends, I do way better and find it really meaningful. Also I have traits of borderline but I don’t have bipolar, oddly I think the acronym for that is BD (I’ve also seen BiPD)

>>40604395
Yeah, I know that feeling, I'm surrounded by trash right now and I just saw a mouse and I'm kind of feeling apathetic about it. I've tried cleaning up a couple of times in the last week and every time I get started I'm like what's the point and I sit back down and go on 4chan, the friend simulator

>>40604493
Yah I’ve been like crazy depressed and lonely and so I go to the friend simulator but sometimes it’s not enough so I post lewd pics in hornygen to get more engagement. I think if I had more of a fulfilling social life I wouldn’t be here like at all

>>40604233 (OP)
you just need to become based like me

gz on getting most of the rest taken care of; i dont split either :)

interacting with bpdemons in a platonic way is legitimately soul draining, and it should be illegal to hide the condition

listen:
when i ask you if you want to be best friends, i don't really want to be best friends with you. i'm gauging your intentions. there's many wrong answers. no right ones.

>>40605100
what does this mean

>>40604233 (OP)
I don't know, I can't make myself believe anyone likes me or wants me in their lives and I behave terribly toward others over it

>>40605122
I feel this exact way but respond by isolating myself...even though im so fucking lonely

>>40605100
this is pure schizo shit

just date a dpdemon, literally if you take care of me and accept me (im a pathetic lazy pos) I will be content with you

>>40604301
>>40604315
I understand your goal now. If you want to be normal you replace your FP with sone other symbolic authority like God, or money, and base your value on that.

If you push him away he will leave you c:

>>40607584
i get afraid theyll abandon me so i push them away, but then they leave and i panic and try to do anything to keep them around

>>40604233 (OP)
>but I still can't care about myself unless it's for someone else.
You have the wife mentality. look pretty and find a good husband to guide you.

>>40607784
When my girl is splitting i just sleep on the couch downstairs and get her breakfast in the morning.

>>40604233 (OP)
bumping for op

>>40604315
how exactly do you redirect if u dont mind answering? i want to be okay at this, ive successfully managed to stop making it clear to my partner that im splitting by just telling myself that anything negative im ever feeling needs to be kept to myself, which means i just go off alone to cut myself and binge drink when im splitting, but it feels awful and unsustainable, better than hurting her again and again but not good!

t. bpdemon