i just feel sad when i see girls and guys together in a group, like frat parties or them hanging out on a boat or something. i feel like i cant be a part of it and that my existence is just an awkward problem for all. its weird though, because even to be a cis baddie sounds disappointing too. girls just get bored of guys because theyre so desired so whats the point? and if they choose to settle down with a guy even the hottest of girls often get cheated on. and even if they dont, women just always seem disappointed and hurt by men and their actions. so why am i over here longing to feel the value that they do when the reality of it is just painful and boring? idk. why do i even want to be at parties where guys are jumping around like testosterone filled monkeys just hoping they get to have sex with me? i guess because its fun? maybe i have mental issues that are irrelevant regarding my transition. am i just too femcel? can you still have fun at parties as a trans? i mean i see lots of gay boys and hsts baddies having fun, but my doomer eyes always just for-see the inevitable hollowness theyll feel when the guy always leaves them for the cis girl, so i think to myself whats even the point of me going out to begin with? until i have a post op pussy, it all seems pointless. it feels the only way to stop the doom cycle is just to get a neo vagina and never claim to be trans ever again. i digress...

>>40612915 (OP)
i feel the exact same way

>>40612915 (OP)
honestly now that i have my post op pussy its kind of worse because i pick apart all the issues that make it worse than cis pussies. at least before i thought i might one day be normal, now i dont even have that hope

>>40612933
do guys really care though?

>>40613044
kinda yeah it really looks off imo

>>40612915 (OP)
i don't really relate to this because i have a bf but i relate to feeling like an outsider and a problem. im ""stealth"" but probably pretty obviously visually trans, but i can't accept that and am so afraid of anyone knowing that i never get to know anyone. im a friendless loser. im also terminally malebrained, i probably come off as a creepy autistic man

>>40613084
have they ever said anything? im getting a dr bank pussy soon and ive been comparing cis vs trans vaginas a lot and kinda feeling what you mean, but i was just assuming that when i get it i wont really care anymore because ill learn to view it like its 'my' vagina and just another part of me

>>40613084
ive never seen a cis vagina do you think you'd be happier with your results if that had been the case for you?

>>40612915 (OP)
on the topic of parties

i've been to parties where i managed to kiss men who were ultra drunk at like, 5 am
i've also been to parties where none of the men there, not even the absolute most desperate ones, wanted to kiss me.
there was this one time when a guy was asking around every girl "hey will you kiss my friend" and they were all saying no. i said "yeah, but check with your friend first" and he said "dw he's desperate he'll kiss anyone" but i insisted and yeah, dude decided that going home with no kisses was better than kissing me.