I finally admitted that I'm trans from last year . I've repped for 4-5 years . I honestly tried my best not to call my self trans or identity myself as one but lmao I was just coping and seething. I showed so many obvious signs but I ignored and made them signs of something else but it all cracked last year when one of my ex online friend came out to me as trans . I actually pretended as a cis girl before for 5-6 years to them . I just became so much comfortable with the “ girl ” identity I had in front of them . It was one of the main signs and another bigger signs were when puberty hit me especially growing facial hair . I remember literally started to rip it all off . Another time I remember had a insane urge to chop my dick off in school bath room . It's an identity I wouldn't fucking chose deliberately knowing what kinda shit trannies in general get from people but it just made so much sense and shit. Or else id feel more fucking lost than anything.

I had a really awful fucking teenage years . Got raped , bullied , sexually assaulted so many time I lost count. I feel like a broken trash .