>>40739610 (OP)
>QOTT
I'm 99% sure I have undiagnosed autism and ADHD. When I was young, I did not have the basic social skills that people normally have. This led to me often getting rejected when trying to interact socially, both offline and online. IRL, I got bullied throughout most of the education system, even as late as early high school. The mental strain of that was being compounded by the fact that I was growing up poor in a poor country, and my parents weren't doing much to help with the issues I was facing.
Years back, I used to socialize online regularly, but that was almost exclusively through an online game that I used to play. This changed when, one time, as a result of a really stupid thing I said without thinking, I got publically humiliated and subsequently rejected by some of the people I used to play with.
After that event, I concluded that I'm socially deficient and need to somehow fix myself before I go back to socially interacting with people. I quit playing that game and completely stopped voluntarily engaging with people. This was 12 years ago.
I never managed to "fix" myself, and so the social isolation continues still. With so little social interaction over so many years, I genuinely have no idea how to get back to it, even though I want to.
>QOTT 2
It's bad enough that it makes me not engage in any voluntary social interactions whatsoever, except very rarely posting on 4chan. I even don't ever do stuff like follow people on e.g. Twitter because I'm afraid that they'll notice my follow and start harassing me for it.
