Thread 40811546

>be completely average cis guy
>one day, an intense urge to be on hrt pops out of nowhere
>it has only gotten stronger ever since
It's not going to go away anymore now, is it?
At this point I just want to know what made me randomly desire this

>>40811546 (OP)
>Completely average cis guy

>>40811546 (OP)
>one day, an intense urge to be on hrt pops out of nowhere
it did not "come from nowhere" since a completely average cis guy would have no idea what the fuck hrt is lmao

>>40811568
Nothing about me was atypical for a cis guy. I was regularly working out, getting buff, having a gf, never crossdressed, never tried makeup, never wanted to be a woman.
I was always just a guy, and for what it's worth, I still am. And yet, hrt has an intense pull which I need to actively resist

>>40811583
i'm a normal cis man and i have been repping the urge to take hrt for the past decade of my life
i've tried it a couple times i like it but i'm obviously not trans

>>40811583
It very much "came from nowhere". I had no idea at all what hrt was at first, and from what I can remember, even after learning about it, I didn't think much of it. This genuinely just completely switched in my mind, and now I feel like I have to be on hrt

>>40811618
>even after learning about it, I didn't think much of it. This genuinely just completely switched in my mind, and now I feel like I have to be on hrt
i think i know how you feel. it's been the driving force in my life but at my age, if i were to take hrt i would just be a latehon

>>40811617
You're probably actually just trans and so deep in repping that you can't even conceive of yourself as being trans. What makes you even think you are cis, if you've desired hrt for past decade?
I'm the op and I've only wanted it since around a year ago, not a full decade

>>40811635
Better to start now and be a latehon rather than starting later and being a boomerhon

>>40811646
>What makes you even think you are cis,
>didn't want hrt until my 20s due to fear of twink death
>took hrt and stopped

>>40811658
This is actually my exact situation. I am currently in my early 20s, and despite looking already like a man, my face still has some androgyny left, which I don't really want to lose to testosterone. I even also took hrt and stopped as well.
What made you stop taking hrt?

>>40811546 (OP)
You aren't a completely average cis guy.

HRT is great if u take it from ages 18-28 because that is the second puberty where twinks turn to ogres
If u can avoid this stage then you will forever look younger and more neotenous than your male counterparts
Thank me later
Da scientists dont even know the basis for gender dysphoria lmao, if it makes u feel better then go for it

>>40811677
>What made you stop taking hrt?
social reasons. people started noticing my tits, my family almost found my hrt, i convinced myself i wasn't trans, and that life would be so easy if i didn't

>This is actually my exact situation.
for me it got worse and worse until i had a breakdown so bad that i'm pretty sure i'm gonna take it again

>>40811546 (OP)
you're screwed dude

>>40811654
i'm pretty close to boomerhon territory
>>40811711
>if u take it from ages 18-28
too late for me

>>40811546 (OP)
MK-ultra’d

>>40811737
At least hop on dutasteride so you don’t go bald, it thins out body hair too!

>>40811708
Maybe I am not one now, but I definitely was one once

>>40811711
I wish I knew for certain that it would make me feel better. The uncertainty was what made me stop taking hrt.
I might be young, but my body is already insanely masculine, and I don't think hrt would ever be able to fix that, and boobs on a masculine torso look really whack

>>40811750
i wish hrt was a normal thing for men to take to avoid balding

>>40811756
>I wish I knew for certain that it would make me feel better. The uncertainty was what made me stop taking hrt.
if i was completely isolated and didn't need to deal with other people, i'd be on hrt. the main reasons it would make things worse are other people, although i am worried if it fucks with my mental state

>boobs on a masculine torso look really whack
can confirm. i hate how huge my upper body is

>>40811731
>i convinced myself i wasn't trans, and that life would be so easy if i didn't
I did this as well, and I am still mostly convinced I'm not trans, but it really isn't working out in my favor. Each and every day feels increasingly kafkaesque

>for me it got worse and worse until i had a breakdown so bad that i'm pretty sure i'm gonna take it again
I haven't had any particularly bad breakdowns yet, but it's becoming increasingly frequent for me to have a horrible day because of all of this.
Even tried to get really high to see if I can't unthink all of this, and it only lead me to feel physically trapped inside my own body while high

>>40811759
Trying to be ‘normal’ has never advanced society. If you wish society were like that, make a change.
Also estrogen won’t stop balding entirely, u can take dutasteride separately and not have to worry about growing tits or anything

>>40811778
>if i was completely isolated and didn't need to deal with other people, i'd be on hrt
This thought experiment never really helped me, since my answer to it fluctuates between an overwhelming yes and a harsh "No. I should not. I might not hate it now, but I will later"

>although i am worried if it fucks with my mental state
Can confirm. While on hrt, I was paranoid af

>>40811734
>>40811747
That's genuinely what this all feels like

>>40811798
>I haven't had any particularly bad breakdowns yet,
i broke down so hard that i took a lower paying job in a more expensive city just for a chance at taking hrt again

>it's becoming increasingly frequent for me to have a horrible day because of all of this.
every day it feels like anything i do is completely pointless because i'm still a man

>>40811825
>While on hrt, I was paranoid af
paranoid about what? getting caught? i already have a lot of anxiety and i don't wanna make that worse

>>40811837
happens to the best of us

>>40811845
>i broke down so hard that i took a lower paying job in a more expensive city just for a chance at taking hrt again
Damn, I'm sorry and I hope you are doing well enough despite it all

>every day it feels like anything i do is completely pointless because i'm still a man
I feel the exact same, except that I am not even sure whether me being a man is what actually makes me feel this way. With how much my thoughts and feelings revolve around it, it most likely contributes to it though.
I can't even tell whether I'd rather be a woman, especially since I don't feel like one, but I definitely do envy many women for simply being born that way

>paranoid about what? getting caught?
Mostly about getting caught, since I still live at home, and I don't want to add unnecessary stress between my parents and me, especially since I don't know how accepting they'd be. The chance I'd get disowned are quite very slim, but that doesn't mean it would be preferable for them to know now before I am able to fully sustain myself.
I was also paranoid in public, since I didn't want for people to see me as a man skinwalking a woman, despite only ever manmodding and looking completely like a man

>>40811597
>And yet, hrt has an intense pull which I need to actively resist
>>40811568

>>40811942
>I hope you are doing well enough despite it all
well, i might take hrt at 30, so i don't know if i'm doing well

>but I definitely do envy many women for simply being born that way
most of us do. i really do wish i were a woman

>Mostly about getting caught,
i'm fully financially independent and live alone, but i'm still worried about hiding it from my family

>I was also paranoid in public, since I didn't want for people to see me as a man skinwalking a woman, despite only ever manmodding and looking completely like a man
yeah this is why i repped. i feel uncomfortable and that feeling gets worse with age

>>40811546 (OP)
Weak-minded brain dosed in Internet pornography and too little real life experiences.

>>40811546 (OP)
its working. (please be her please be her please be her)

>>40811546 (OP)
Rogd due to loneliness

>>40812223
>too little real life experiences.
what are real life experiences?

>>40812236
not op but i don't want to date women and the idea of dating a man triggers my agp

>>40812223
>Weak-minded brain dosed in Internet pornography
I've always hated porn. My desire to take hrt is not sexual in nature in any way. If anything, my libido actually fully went away ever since I desire hrt

>>40812233
Unfortunately, I am not her, even if I don't know who "her" is

>>40812236
Don't even know how this would make any sense, even if it were true. It isn't though, since I still have stable and good friendships

>>40812361
>I don't know who "her" is
my tulpa, who i am projecting onto a real person and wishing dysphoria upon every day so that they troon out eventually

sad youre not her though. but i still hope youre able to overcome your repping and properly treat your dysphoria anyway :>

>>40812206
>well, i might take hrt at 30, so i don't know if i'm doing well
late is better than never, despite how bleak it all can feel now.

>most of us do. i really do wish i were a woman
I still see plenty of women I'd hate to be like, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer to be a woman over being a guy.
When I was trying to convince myself that I actually don't want hrt, my mind would inadvertently only focus on the women I would hate to be like, and completely ignoring the ones I actually envy. Couldn't keep that up for long though, since the sheer radiance of the women I envy was almost impossible to ignore

>but i'm still worried about hiding it from my family
That's very understandable.If you do plan to fully transition, there will almost certainly come a day where you'll need to let them know. I hope they will accept and support you for the person you actually are

>yeah this is why i repped. i feel uncomfortable and that feeling gets worse with age
I hoped that would maybe go away with age, but since it apparently doesn't, then the only way out must be through

>>40812391
Since when are you projecting your tulpa onto a real person?

>overcome your repping and properly treat your dysphoria anyway :>
I don't even know whether I am repping anything, and I still can't figure out whether I am actually gender dysphoric.
Hrt is just extremely tantalizing to me

>>40812441
>late is better than never, despite how bleak it all can feel now.
it's very bleak. repping just hurts and i don't know if i'm gonna be happy if i decide to be a 30 year old manmoding hon

>I still see plenty of women I'd hate to be like, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer to be a woman over being a guy.
yeah exactly this holy shit i kept saying "no i'm not a woman because real women are like this"
i'm also "successful" as a man and being a manmoder would be a downgrade at worst, and equal at best

>I hope they will accept and support you for the person you actually are
probably not. neither will society, so i would manmode

>hoped that would maybe go away with age,
in my case it only got far worse

>>40812508
>i don't know if i'm gonna be happy if i decide to be a 30 year old manmoding hon
It can't really get worse than repping

>i'm also "successful" as a man and being a manmoder would be a downgrade at worst, and equal at best
I feel like there is no way around this, since transitioning is inherently such a disruptive process, no matter how successful it ends up being

>probably not. neither will society, so i would manmode
My condolences...

>>40811546 (OP)
Forgot to mention, but this urge to take hrt doesn't feel like it's in accordance with who I am as a person. It genuinely feels like an outer force is imposing it's will on me.
No matter what, my mind always returns back to thinking that I have to just inject. It's especially distressing whenever I am reminded that taking hrt will almost surely feel wrong and that I really ought not to

Even and I'll take hrt again, odd and I will try my best and forget about it all.
I am really afraid of regretting either one

>>40815374
Have fun with getting gyno