Thread 40953836

If my bloodwork shows my test levels are too high I'm probably going to kill myself. Even though I theoretically should be at monotherapy levels of E AND take bicalutamide anyways I'm still showing signs of having mid-high testosterone. Bical worked for maybe two months and now I'm back to having boysmell and getting boners and whatnot. I just jerked off this morning to the thought of penetrating a woman with my penis, which ought to be a clear sign here that my mone levels are fucked. my sexuality feels entirely male. Anyways. It's not even the fact that there's testosterone in my system and that I'm masculinizing that's the kicker. It's that I have no control over it at all. I'm not sure what to do at this point other than die once I have hard proof that things are fucked. I was going to slit my wrists or carotid in my room cause I know nobody will come check on me and it seems like it requires the least amount of extra effort (taking suggestions though). I guess that's a method with pretty low effectiveness but maybe it's different when you live alone. Don't think I can buy a gun until I'm 21 anyways.
I'm probably gonna pussy out anyways. I dunno.

>>40953836 (OP)
I guess I should know within the week. Got partial results which don't seem like a good sign since my LH was really low. I don't know a lot about the endocrine system but I thought LH told my balls to produce testosterone. I dunno where all this extra test would be coming from then. Especially if it's enough to get past the bical. Someone on 4troon said I might have an androgen-producing tumor and I don't want to have to deal with that at all. I don't want to have to talk to a real endocrinologist.