Thread 41328824

Late night edition
Qott:have you gotten out of boymode then regressed back in?

>>41328824 (OP)
>QOTT; no, never. i will boymode untill i die

>>41328824 (OP)
I haven't started transitioning yet but my plan is to manmode professionally forever. Unless I'm forced to stop by growing giant boobs or something.

>>41328824 (OP)
hey 'moders
I have never left boymode and never will. But one time I wore women's jeans out.

>>41330415
Ooh yeah, I forgot to say in>>41330385
that luckily I work in a field where being a bit faggy is accepted if not a bit of a boon. So I will be incorporating a lot more feminine touches into my manmode and let people assume I'm just transitioning to faggot.

>>41330464
What kind of field is that?

>>41330468
libraries. It's like 80% woman, 30% gay

>>41330484
Ohhhh I see. Do you work at a regular public library, or a university one? Or purrhaps a specialist one like a law library?

>>41330490
Behind the scenes at a public library system in a US city.

>>41328824 (OP)
I honmoded the other day but I felt like a freak, so I'll prob keep boymoding for a little while longer

>>41328824 (OP)
>qott
I'm too scared to ever try presenting fem so boymode forever it is :c

I have girlmoded when out with a few close friends, but it's been nerve wracking. And I'm at my least passable for now; I think I can pass but only with enough effort, I couldn't if I just wore a T-shirt and jeans or whatever.
I hear a fair amount of hateful jokes at my job so I probably won't come out there ever, just change jobs. But at my university, people leave you alone and they also just seem more liberal. But I don't want to come out there until I have a better wardrobe and hopefully my body is more visibly feminine and my voice is more natural to me and more passable, so the whole thing is less nerve-wracking and takes less effort hopefully.
So in a way, I'm kind of dipping my toes in the water but overwhelmingly still a boymoder.

boymoding otday

>>41328824 (OP)
gf forced me to girlmode fulltime
and now i'm legally a woman, so it would be kinda weird if i boymoded again ...

it would still be doable though. just put baggy clothes on and grow out or cut my hair, cuz my current bangs are too fem

i'd probably still look like a really fem guy, but people go off voice if they can't see obvious tits

>>41330385
get on hrt anon, it helps your mental health a lot

>>41330639
just boymode until you start seeing a girl in the mirror
and pls for the love of god don't be like me and voicetrain, having a good girlvoice is like 60% of passing

>>41330680
good job <3 ^-^
how long are you on hrt?

it gets a lot easier with time, i felt like i reached peaked when i was 10 months on hrt but it really just keeps slowly getting better

now 15 months on hrt and i'm starting to like my body and face much more again

_________________________________

do you girls have any hobbies or projects you've been working on?

with the help of my gf i've been toying with a cute obscure tiny 2002 laptop (screen is only 6.4", but high res 1024x768)

i'm upgrading/repairing it and trying to make it somewhat usable in modern day

custom battery replacement, new paint job, cpu repaste, hdd currently replaced with a microsd, planned custom power source for an ssd, custom-made usb-c power source

>>41331827
>just boymode until you start seeing a girl in the mirror
it's just really hard to convince myself I don't look like a total creep. I've worn a crop like one time and I was hammered and still nervous as fuck.
>and pls for the love of god don't be like me and voicetrain
Ive only ever tried a few times but I really should more. finding motivation is hard :(

>>41328824 (OP)
>qott
nope, i’ve just stuck to boymode this whole time.

>>41328824 (OP)
>qott
nope, been a boymoder for what is approaching way too long but i don’t see it ending till ffs. maybe that makes me a manmoder but people say it takes up to 2 years to start passing so let me cope till then
>>41330680
progress is progress!
>>41331827
>shoelace is girlmoding
truly we live in a fair and just world

>>41331872
desu i never really wear very feminine clothes so idk

i stick to women's jeans and t-shirts, mostly oversized, cause i only have a few nice female cuts
so i end up with an andro-fem look

i'd be nervous to wear anything too feminine too, it's difficult to style it in a way that looks nice and not babytranny

>finding motivation is hard
yeah i know u-u, it's why i'm stuck girlmoding with a fag voice
soo i usually either try to avoid talking or talk quietly ...
just try to force yourself, you'll thank yourself later .. <3

>>41332172
> >shoelace is girlmoding
> truly we live in a fair and just world
what does this mean >w<

>maybe that makes me a manmoder
i don't think not passing makes you a manmoder
it's mostly about how old you look while boymoding

how are you doing otherwise?

>>41331910
why? :c

>>41331827
never responded to your project but it’s really cool that you’re trying to restore and modernize an outdated laptop. even if it doesn’t work it’s good to have something to work towards and (probably) isn’t too expensive given its age
>>41332553
>what does this mean
i’m just happy you’re girlmoding. over the last few months we’ve slowly gotten updates from most of the others who used bmg and they generally are girlmoding or at least doing better. you were the only one i really wasn’t certain about so it’s nice to know you’re getting closer to being seen how you want to be seen
>how are you doing otherwise
pretty much the same as always for better or (mostly) worse. but i’m not losing hope till the 2 year mark and till i really put effort into girlmoding once to see how it goes. outside of this i’ve taken up one or two hobbies to make life more enjoyable and it has made life more enjoyable

>>41332553
>why
because i don’t pass and also live with a transphobic mom so i kinda can’t girlmode. i have a pair of short shorts that i’ve worn a few times, but only when she’s not around. i was wearing them with my friends who know i’m a tranny, and as soon as i heard her coming in (thankfully my dipshit friend locked the door which gave me time to react) i sprinted up to my room to put basketball shorts over them

>>41328824 (OP)
me on the right (effortmaxed girlmoder)
vs you on the left (no effort boymoder)

>>41333253
then why are you here?

>>41333260
girlmoders like to make fun of us :(

ugh its been tooooo fucking long!!!!!!!!!!!! soon i need to present soon or ill go mad i still feel that secure feeling when i ask myself am i still trans and its been months im never getting off this ride even with the any/all cope. i would present every day if i had a way to move around. i have a car an no license

auto 20s checkem

not even close

>>41328824 (OP)
yeah, sometimes i doll up, usually for guys and when i know they want that experience.

otherwise i'm gender neutral? even when im not wearing guys clothes.
like all my girl clothes could plausibly be boy clothes.

>>41328824 (OP)
God gives his biggest boymoder the biggest tits I genuinely don't think anyone thinks I'm a boy anymore

>>41333253
could you maybe give relevant effortmaxxing advice?
>>41333326
is that cause you want to exist in an androgynous zone or because you don’t think you pass enough to go full girlmode?
>>41333366
giwtwm

Someone shouldn't transition because they fear going bald or fear aging.
>>41333366
breasts are just the "are you sure"/ready check
because if you're not willing to grow knockers (or live as an embarrassing flattie) then you're not willing much to transition.

just looked back at some pics my mom had of me when i was still 14 and i first told her about my trans feelings and my shoulders were still so narrow. now im a 21 year old grown ass man starting hrt and i unironically got a BIACROMIAL of 43cm. it's looking grim, at least i'm not tall.

>>41333407
You need to girlmode as much as possible to develop your style and skills. It is something that takes practice and time and can’t be done well overnight. That‘s why boymoding is a trap. You need to be doing as much as you can and leave your comfort zone a little. Wear at least 1 girly piece, apply make up, try on clothing in stores, ALWAYS use your girl voice to practice speaking with it etc.

>>41332956
>project
>picrel :3
it is very expensive because of it's rarity and age q_q
but yeah i am having a lot of fun with it

>girlmoding updates
i was kinda pushed into it by my gf and doctor, but yeah .. it does makes me a lot happier so i guess it was worth it, thank you

i posted my transition timeline something like two months back

i think i've missed updates from other girls and even noticed that some girlmoders went back to boymoding :c

>i’m not losing hope
i'm glad
>life more enjoyable
<3

>>41333096
>transphobic mom
understandable, i'm sorry :c
i escaped my mum by moving into dorms and later eventually moving in w gf
i hope you can figure out something too <3

>>41333366
>boobs
giwtwm
mine are still pretty small, so i have to wear small fem cut shirts if i want them to be visible :c
i just wanna go back to my big hoodies

>>41333441
thinking about old self is really ropefuel, so i try to just forget ...

>>41331827
> good job <3 ^-^
Thanks :)
>how long are you on hrt?
6 months!
>but it really just keeps slowly getting better
That's the nice thing about HRT, it seems: aging isn't entirely a slow trainwreck anymore, and you can look forward to the passage of time.
>now 15 months on hrt and i'm starting to like my body and face much more again
I'm happy for you, and am glad to hear it.

gn /bmg/

The new guy I'm talking to finally showed me his cock and it's really big and I'm kind of afraid to take it, this thing is going to break me

>>41328824 (OP)
I lost hope after 2.5 years, only fagmoding now, confusing some man few times thats they in woman toilet when literally using urinal lmaooo

i need to buy and inject E today :(

>>41328824 (OP)
No, I’m going to boymode forever because hrt does nothing and my face is masc.

good morning boymoders how is everynyan today

>>41338550
went to the dermatologist and found out im not balding my hairline is just genetically bad and not round and it would be like that too if i were born a cis woman :(

>>41338533
i think i will do it wednesday desu

>>41334622
Post face

I had my first day of uni and some super hot guy came to talk to me and said he knows what I am. I lied. but it wouldve been nice

>>41336054
>6 months
waow, you're still a baby <3

>>41337585
gl 0_0

>>41337931
>when literally using urinal lmaooo
lmao
i'm really sad i missed this kind of shit that comes with boymoding
do you really think it's a lost cause? i haven't really met or seen any boymoders that would be a lost cause

>>41338543
dummy :c
it does a lot, it's just painfully slow ... <3

>>41341152
rude :c
dig for them yourself, they're out there

Dunno where else to ask but what tanner is this?

https://files.catbox.moe/aj8gqn.jpg
https://files.catbox.moe/153eez.jpg

>put off doing my injections because they're scary :>
>don't do enough when I do
>in like 2 weeks my skin breaks out
>my hair gets 10x rougher
>my mind is filled with DISGUSTING thoughts
>everything feels.. wrong
AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH I WANNA RIP MY FACE OFF EVERYTHING FEELS AWFUL
IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY
I will NEVER skip my injections again

>>41328824 (OP)
idk if I would call what I do girlmoding, I only wear androgynous baggy clothes but I do use a trained voice and light makeup sometimes when I go to work. been feeling pretty demoralized lately though, my hairline is bad and I've just been coping with tranny bangs until recently, styling my hair back and seeing my moidy face is ropefuel. been thinking about going back into guymode until I have ffs desu, fagmoding makes me so self conscious and anxious all the time

>>41342101
Just post a new pic for me I FEEL LIKE GOONING

>>41342101
>do you really think it's a lost cause? i haven't really met or seen any boymoders that would be a lost cause
I just wanna be threated like a normal human being, not like a freak, also im low key criminal in my country if i got clocked as a troon. Bitches in passgen hugboxx me and mom irl. Maybe i stop boymoding someday, gonna stay in psych ward for few weeks in november and then next year a lot of cis doctors and KGB will think deserve i change my birth certificate and other papers to female or not. I only doing this shit for mother if not her i probable just boymoded for life

>>41342280
idk much about it sorry but i believe at least 3 or 4?

>>41328824 (OP)
cant even successful boymode anymore. so whats even the point.... I won't lie though, hoodies are comfy