Thread 41441376

This is a thread dedicated to discussing, sharing and venting about heartbreak you experienced related to trannies.
You can be a bf, transbian, or hell, the tranny.
Be respectful of people's privacy, anonymize details.

>Dear S.,
>Seeing your account show "deleted" exactly two weeks after our last talk was shocking.
>My only consolation is that your silence wasn't because something bad happened to you.
>Maybe you thought I hate or dislike you; I promise this was never the case, in any way.
>I needed to collect my thoughts, and figured it'd be best to not feed into negative self talk.
>Perhaps I was a bit too strict or robotic, and should have been gentler.
>I liked you a lot, and you are missed very dearly. I would hate to have lost you.
>Reach out to me, if you can. You should know how.
>Yours,
>Y.

pic unrelated

>>41441376 (OP)
wait this might be about me drrop the discord

>>41441376 (OP)
You’re kinda dumb but a lot of people are scared of being alone and not having that stability so I don’t blame you I guess anyway try not to kill yourself or become addicted to drugs because you’re so scared to do anything

>>41441384
obvious, and admittedly funny, troll, but what's your cat's name

>>41441473
Thanks for the concern anon. I'm pretty stable and never do drugs, not even caffeine lmao.
I would be fine, just very lonely.

This is probably just a coincidence but I am an S and I did delete my account the same day as my last conversation with someone, so it would've vanished exactly two weeks later.
I felt bad in my last conversation with them for obvious reasons, but i couldn't find the courage to comment on it as they were in a good mood so I simply vanished.
This was back in march/april to clarify.

>>41441376 (OP)
I could talk about the time I was a mistress, the time I nursed my ex through a breakdown for years, the time I drove my situationship to another city as they cried about a cis girl rejecting them or the many, many times I had a potential partner go cold when they found out I'm trans but honestly I'm just so tired and burnt out on love I struggle to care about it anymore.

Im leaving the country in three months. I've lied and said that I'm moving to hang out with friends but the people in the new country are acquaintances at best. I'm just so tired of being the "cool friend" and im tired of working my butt off only to perpetually stuck scratching a living together because this world isnt designed for single people.

Maybe I just wont start by job and go drive into the desert idk

>>41442316
Are you in the upper midwest?

>>41442627
No, Europe

>>41442316
Europe as well, but coincidence indeed. My S. vanished in late September, and if you were her, you'd know based on the thread for sure. Just sucked to worry for her safety or get this creeping feeling of having been ghosted, and then eventually be hit with the deleted account.
We were fairly affectionate for a few months, but she started feeling pretty unstable, and yeah, I figure I may not have been gentle enough while she was already hating on herself.
I guess that's a common feeling, to not wanna break the news like that. I don't know what that contact was like, if it was romantic, casual, etc. Maybe you can leave them a message next time anon, even if it's by sneakily editing a message so it doesn't send a ping or something.

>>41442458
you sound jaded anon. sucks you're dealing with that. sounds like you have a good amount of contacts but not with the most depth necessarily.
I haven't dated that much, so maybe I'm just being a bit tone deaf and complaining. had a cis gf, this was my first trans "situationship" that I would have preferred to become something long term. just pretty socially reserved, so I don't naturally meet people often. I would get jaded for sure with a bunch of superficial friendships. maybe you do need a break

>>41441376 (OP)
im a detranny but i miss my ex. they are so much better off without me though which is its own weird kind of feeling because while i miss them so much i also feel glad they've moved on to better things and would never do anything to try and disrupt their new positive direction.

i traded my addiction to them for a cigarette addiction and i think it's working even if it kills me a little bit at a time. i have good genetics for it at least (multiple relatives who smoked into old age without developing lung cancer)

>>41443656
still careful with the smoking fren<3 : p

>>41441376 (OP)
Trannies don't have hearts to break

Dated a doll I would have married. Personality was perfect. We had the same interests and could hang together for hours doing the same thing. I would have married her. Invited her to my graduation and she was in the photos. Met my family. But alas she ended the relationship because doing anal was too uncomfortable for her and she was looking for a guy that’s more average size rather than large. Felt like a really dumb reason but sex is very important I guess. It was such a heartbreak and I don’t know when I’ll get over it. It’s such a pity because good sex is way easier to find than love compatibility. Did lots of other kinky stuff with her but the anal was a deal breaker for her. I hope she changes her mind one day and gets back in touch with me. But I’m just moving on. Not doing a great job of it.

I'm a bi cis male. Gym twunk, certified autist. I fell in love with a trans girl who said she was "mostly straight" but she had a strong bi-cycle. I knew I couldn't scratch that itch for her so I said it was fine if she met/hooked up with girls rather than pine for them eternally and start feeling bitter about it. Things were amazing with her though, she was so sweet to me, I introduced her to my family and she did the same for me. It felt like a fairytale romance story. Also the sex was incredible and she was willing to do basically anything I wanted, which was mostly just wearing stockings because that's my fetish.

After a couple years together things got hard for us when I lost my job. She got distant. She started spending a lot of time online at night. She abruptly broke up with me soon after this, apparently she met some transbians in VRChat that made her "realize" she was actually just gay and that her entire relationship with me was just comphet. Whenever I asked her to explain more about it she just shut down and couldn't talk so I have zero closure.

After we broke up she joined their polycule. She fell madly in love with one of them and talked to me about it constantly, then 6 months later the girl dumped her and now my ex is stuck living with and dating the fat third wheel in their polycule who refuses to get a job and makes her pay all the rent.

I still think about her when I'm going to sleep every night.

>>41443996
thanks friend it's nice to have you to talk to. listening to this today it's quite pretty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iEGmvasuRQ

my ex girlfriend has taken over my life and my thoughts ever since we met 5 years ago. we were on again, off again in the most hellish way. i keep swearing i'm finally done for good, but if she asked for me back i don't know if i'd have it in me to say no. being with her wasn't easy but being without her is like missing a piece of my soul.
every day i think of you. every day i wish you would call. i love you, t, always forever.

It's been 3 and a half months since he suddenly stopped contacting me and I feel like I know why since he was telling me about a lot of life instability and change right beforehand
But it's hard to not feel like I did something wrong and I thought he was gonna be in my life for the longhaul, we synced up so well on so many things and genuinely cared about each other. I thought we'd built up enough of a thing, whatever you'd call it. Maybe it's my fault for not defining it or being forward enough, but I was doing as much as I could. I can't call it heartbreak but I just miss him a lot still and I wish all the things we talked about had a chance to happen like we wanted, and I hope he's doing well.

>>41443656
smoking is a strain financially too, consider other distractions anon, but all the best either way <3

>>41445949
it's worth the feeling it gives me where everything shines and i can almost hear God telling me how things are gonna be alright and everything is for a purpose.

>>41446291
little known fact, but when you smoke cigarettes you can hear your guiding spirits whispering in your ear. the native americans realized this and that's why they used tobacco for religious rituals and peace meetings.

>>41446806
i was thinking about this the other day actually

i told my therapist i started smoking cigarettes kind of ritualistically (only in specific situations and always in the same spot or kind of spot) and he said it was fine and some cultures use tobacco for religious reasons and as long as i don't use it as a thing to hate myself about it's fine.

was kind of validating to hear that and realize my experience with it isn't unique. most people i know it's just a thing they do for good feels or something. not that that's a lesser reason to do it. but the fact that i almost have the same kind of experience weed smokers have for a little bit seems less weird having it put into context like that. now i need to go shower my right hand smells like an ashtray

>>41446931
yeah haters will say schizo but smoking has a very long history as a religious ritual and i don't think that's for no reason

ironically i started smoking because of my tranny ex,

>>41447115
based you're probably pretty cool to have such a perspective

>>41447123
same friend. i will never forget that day we first hung out and went hiking. and when we got back to their car we had a smoke and i knew i was falling

>>41441376 (OP)
I am the tranny, this is from a couple of years ago
>Know boy online for 5+ years
>He knows I'm trans but doesn't care
>We're very flirty for years, but never pursue it due to our lives being busy
>Finally after so many years we're both single and decide we should start dating
>We date online for months
>Eventually we meet in person
>We cuddle and kiss and I suck his dick every day
>Things are going great
>One day I get out of the shower and he sees me naked
>I thought it would be something nice and cute and he would be happy to see me and be all, I need to take you right here and now
>It's the total opposite, he's horrified
>I panic and put clothes on
>After he's super distant from me and doesn't really want to talk or look at me
>I ask him if seeing me naked changed how he felt about me
>He apologizes and admits it was too much for him and that he's not as open minded as he thought
He went home early and I've been crying about for the last couple of years. I haven't been with someone since and I'm terrified for anyone to see me naked.

She was a Japanese woman from Brazil. We played league of legends together and watched anime together. She was supporting me and she was a great support, expert level. She was a diamond level support and I was a mediocre gold level ADC that played the game on and off over years, and she was coaching me on how to be better. She was the best Janna player I've ever seen. We shared Spotify music with each other and she likes Porter Robinson. She was 5'3, very petite and slender, had milky pale skin and cascading black hair, and glasses. Was extremely beautiful, most beautiful woman I've ever seen. If I got a second chance, I would just marry her. She had absolutely no flaws and was effortlessly pretty. I miss her, but I have no way to find her.

I miss you, Y.

>>41447230
real. would smoke with you

>>41444638
sorry i just saw this hope you stay off 4chan >:( sorry this tab was still up so i looked but am leaving 4chan now<3 gl!!!!!!!!! :o

>>41444133
“dated the perfect girl ever uhhhhhhh she broke up with me cuz my dick was enormous dude”

>>41447235
i am so sorry new insecurity unlocked wow

im a tranny btw
i’d been good friends with this guy for a few years now and i got on hrt a year ago. before hrt i was pretty depressed and asexual and even for the first several months of it i had zero libido and felt like a freak, but around month 6 i started looking and feeling noticeably different and also got on prog and idk if it was these things combined with me being really sexually repressed by this point and never having liked a guy but i kind of unlocked a libido again like crazy and started noticing how attractive he was, and we kept being good friends and then after a couple months i came out to him and a lot of others in that friend group and he was so absurdly nice to me so the crush escalated like crazy after that and we would play minecraft so much and call and text all the time, but then all of a sudden in july he started being all aloof and like he’s very very conventionally attractive and tall and whatnot and i get it like he has plenty of options and im a tranny and even if i was cis i don’t think id be his type but god it makes me feel like shit to be his friend and have him be so distant now idk what i did. i keep thinking he hates me and he doesn’t want to see me but then i see him and he’s as kind and caring as ever, it’s just that i don’t really think he thinks about me very much otherwise and it makes me so sad. i wish i was enough for him. he even told me i pass and he sees me as a girl and thats just even more infuriating like come on dude please like me. and then i feel genuinely really attractive now and pass and other guys hit on me a lot and they’re just not him idk i wish i could be enough

>>41448420
every time i read one of those posts about a trans girl who’s dating one of her pre transition guy friends who’s now madly in love with her it’s like a little pang to the heart. i wish i could have that so bad i feel like every aspect of my life now tells me im beautiful except him and i hate it i want his fucking approval i want him to stare at me with hunger and protective eyes

>>41448420
You poor thing. It's a horrible feeling to feel not good enough. At the very least you're hot now.

>>41441376 (OP)
I know this isn't compelling or interesting to read at all, but what's really eating at me is that I haven't been in a relationship in nearly 4 years. I haven't even been on a date. and I know a lot of it is on me for simply not leaving my house enough but I really do just feel so fucking ugly. my friends all say i'm pretty but they're my friends, they're lying. i don't get hit on, i've never been catcalled, i don't get attention in general. nobody wants to date an ugly clocky tranny. I am so desperate and touch starved. If I had a partner I think I would do literally anything for them. It's almost the only thing I think about.

>>41447235
Thats horrible
If you want to avoid that in the future ,it may be best yknow ,show bits of you (even klothed) so they know what you look like and you kan rip the bandaid off early if it turns out they dont like you (this goes for irl and online ,but moreso online)

>>41448420
I get obsessive too and ya ,it really sukks when they dont resiprokate
Maybe he will tho ,or even at least rekonnekt with you
but yknow ,a lot of the time they just deside they dont really wanna be friends with you anymore
It hurts ,but theres little you kan do

>>41448578
holy real. it’s been 3 years for me and i stopped having sex with women back then because PIV made me really dysphoric. but now i don’t just want to have sex with a guy i want an actual partner and idk how to find a guy to hang out with regularly and sleep with and cuddle with and make out with it’s like the only thing i can thing about recently and the scope of this crush has killed me it’s so intoxicating when a hot guy treats you like a girl

>>41444761
that's bad anon.. I went through a few years of something like this too. the sooner you leave it behind you, the better. I know that this kind of relationship can be very addicting due to the intense highs and lows

i still have crushs on two different hs guys that were my friends
i was not on hrt at the time but i were a twink, 5'6, slim, longish hair with bangs, babyface, etc. people always joked that i were gay or even trans (well they were right lol). one of these friends is bi and liked to play with me, "flirt" with me, hug, grabbed me by the hips, we were in a party few months ago and there was some pieces and tools for people to make those diy handmade bracelets and he only did these for two person one for me and other for his gf.
the other liked to play with my hair, in one of these drunk party games he was asked which boy he would kiss if he had to kiss a boy and he answered me, he was like one of the most handsome guys on the class so some girls liked to joke that they wanted to see we both kiss. he said once that if i were a girl i would be his perfect gf. i really liked both but specially him.
now high school is over, one of them i see like once a month and the other once or twice a year, im an ugly boymoder and both have cis gfs :(
>>41448420
i have a similar story with the bi friend :( i feel like i bother him when we talk online but irl he's always so kind with me and hugs me and etc and im not out to them im just a boymoder but he doesnt treat me like he treats the other guys hes... softer? with me. hes bi also but he has a cisgf :(

>>41451810
holy real. my guy also has a cis gf now i feel so utterly worthless in comparison and she’s literally everything im not. i wonder if he’d want me if i was prettier or if its the fact im infertile that makes me worthless

>>41451810
i went to go visit him and the whole time i was worrying and whatnot and then i finally see him hours later and in the middle of like 30 guys he drops what he’s doing and gives me a giant hug. boy please stop making me feel these things

>>41451810
Oh god that hurt to read. The if you were a girl you’d be the perfect gf. I’ve heard that one before and even though you transition and you’re like look I am a girl! It’s not what they meant.
>>41451917
It’s the worst when they get a cis gf. You see what they like and how you’re not like that at all. It hurts so bad.
>>41451930
They have no idea they have that power. They don’t realize they make you fall in love with every nice thing they do.

i have a crush on this guy that i work with and it's ruining my life. i genuinely think he's just the hottest, sweetest guy ever and i love talking to him but he clearly doesn't care as much. he is very close with everyone in his department and they all have a group chat and hang out a bunch, and even though he's friendly with me and we get lunch sometimes, sometimes it feels like he's just doing it to be nice. i'm really nervous when i speak to him which sucks because i'm generally super confident, and i just blab on and on for like an hour at the start of the day when he's definitely trying to work. it just sucks because he's so perfect and hot and sweet and i feel like even feeling this way he can tell or something and i'm making him uncomfortable. it sucks so fucking bad dude

>>41452012
This breaks my heart. Poor lil trans girls with so much love to give and the guys we love are just uneasy with us.

I’ll never forget the game store guy. I had such a huge crush on him. He was perfect. Tall, cute face, great beard, amazing voice and laugh, chubby but still beefy looking. I wanted to jump his bones every time we interacted. He was so sweet to me all the time. We made each other laugh so much. I remember one day I heard him say he broke up with his gf and I knew it was my time. We got closer and closer and even though we only knew each other at the game store I got his phone number and we made plans to eat lunch and play against each other. I thought I was in. After many lunch and play dates I thought it was time to confess. Then one day some troll woman walks in and he’s like heyyyyy guys this is my gf. I was devastated, wtf I thought we were on our way to being a thing. Nope not even close. Of course he married the troll and had kids with her while I remain blown the fuck out.

>>41452058
i don't deserve to burden him with my love, desu. if i were him i wouldn't want a tranny to be in love with me either. he doesn't know i'm a tranny but if he did i'm sure he wouldn't like me at all anymore. he just thinks i'm a lesbian

>>41441376 (OP)
A year later, and I'm still trying to work out what my ex's deal was. All I know is he went from being super into me, wanting to introduce me to his family, talking about marriage, etc, to freezing me out. Destroyed my confidence. Recently, he viewed my profile on the site where we met 4 times within the space of 2 days. The fuck, dude?

>>41444568
Being attracted to trannies IS a great indicator for bisexuality.
She's just frotting with a different AMaB, now.

>>41448420
>when all the bichuds are like, "ooooo, fresh tranny", but the Kinsey 0 man you like couldn't stomach it

just today it hit me that we knew each other for 10 years. 10 fucking years. and you couldnt even face me as i walked away. or maybe you did, i couldnt look at you as well. and the worst part is that i know you will never chase after me. 10 years down the drain.

>>41442316
common S. moment
>t. also an S. that did something similar

>>41447115
God has shares in Philip Morris and told his disciples to "hurry up and smoke this shit" through the burning tobacco bush

>>41444761
>>41451200
>the sooner you leave it behind you, the better.
yea you should've just monkey branched like my ex did, you'll move on instantly

>>41453729
if you want to throw yourself a pity party you can make your own post

Imagine being ghosted by someone in a relationship and still wanting them back. The lack of self respect is crazy. If they don't even have the respect to give you closure they aren't worth keeping

>>41454001
wow, who put a stick up your ass

Hellooooooo

I am new to 4chan so I don't know what to expect

>>41454083
welcome. anyone can take on any name. I am Kermit too, now.
as a general piece of advice, posts get archived, so don't post things you don't want to be permanently accessible

>>41453477
bruh... let me just consider S names a red flag now lmao

>>41454083
don't listen to that dumbass, piss on the screen to get chan coins that you can turn into a pass (you'll hear it talked about a lot here)

>>41454036
something's telling me you sign up for this kinda shit by dating trannies

>>41441376 (OP)
i ate too many CHEESE BURGERS
and it break my heart :/ had a heart attack

I can't stand not being friends with him anymore, even if I don't want to date him. I never even got the chance to respond to his last message before he blocked me and to get some proper closure. I keep getting excited to check my discord when i come home in case he added me again but he never does. it's been maybe 20 days. I keep wondering if I should make a 4chan thread begging him to at least talk to me but I don't think that would do any good. He was (and I guess remains) my favorite person ever.
I just hit three weeks without cutting myself and I wish I could share that with him. he was the one who really motivated me to quit, and the only thing that stopped me when he blocked me was the thought that he might want to be friends with me again and would retroactively not want me to hurt myself.
Please just fucking contact me, even if it's to yell at me.

>>41456392
>three weeks
Congratulations anon! I'm proud of you.
This might be a strange sounding crutch to use. But how about you try to think of your future bf, how much you'll love and admire this man, and how you'd like to make him proud.

>>41441376 (OP)
my ex bf was a poonah and I still miss him so fucking bad 3 years after he dumped me

>>41454036
I did for a couple weeks. But it's been months now and I saw him put up an anti trans suicide profile picture for a day before removing it again. So fuck him, should have never let him fuck me or even come to my house at all.

>>41441376 (OP)
>dear p
>i know you won't see this bc you're so internet but i wish things went different
>maybe saying someone's a good mom at first glance is weird idk
>maybe trans girls need moms sometimes idk
>i wish we could have been sisters, you know
> maybe in another life we can rip boys guts out or whatever idk what you like these days
>i miss you
>m.

>>41456351
don't you know cheeseburgers are uneatable???? don't ever eat a cheeseburger stick with regular burgers!!!!!

>>41441376 (OP)
I feel like this is pretty useless for me to do at this point, but I’m just sad and looking for answers. I only knew you for a few months, but during that short time, I feel like we were really understood each other. Seriously, I feel like you’re the most interesting person Ive ever known. Unfortunately, due to my own selfishness caused by this need to make you mine, you (understandably) stopped talking to me. I really thought we were having a good time too. It’s been two months since it’s happened and I’m only just now starting to get over it thankfully. It doesn’t torture my brain like it used to. But it does make me a sad knowing that this may really be the end - no chance of contact ever again. I spiraled because I lost you. Things are kind of looking up now though, i recently got a new job offer. Some delusional part of my brain is telling me that if I get this job and move out then you’ll finally want to be my friend again since you told me on the last day we really knew each other that that’s what you wanted me for me. I know you’re forgetful, but I still hold on to it. If you continue to hate me forever, I understand. I hope you’re doing alright.

>>41458899
what was her name

>>41452625
i think if you’re enough of a passoid even straight guys kinsey 0 will like you. not claiming to be that all

>>41452625
nah im a boymoder so not even a kinsey 1 guy feasibly would want me lol and i dont really blame them. wish i was enough though its also that im really early transition at under a year hrt still

>>41454529
i have an S name. many of us are chill and just want to be loved i promise

>>41457208
Nobody else is the same really. I honestly did think i had a special connection with him, and he said the same.

>>41458899
holy shit i feel like i could've written this myself, maybe editing some parts.

>>41459122
kinda need more of you "normal" S to come out of the woodwork before I believe it. too many "lol I did this too" lmao

>>41458899
oof. I identify with this as well. knew her for a few months, got very attached. it's good you're getting over it anon

>>41459682
well i probably did it too that’s just a function of how this whole world works

>>41460015
>>41458899
Im worried that's why my current thing will turn into, trying not to get too attached but she's got so much going for her that I like

Gonna try and just enjoy it while it lasts and see where it goes without letting the crush crush me

>>41444568
Lmfaooo big ups bruh

>>41460425
did you try asking her out anon?

>>41461818
We're planning on meeting up soonlyish on some level I worry she views the thing as more of a casual hookup, which was all I think either of us wanted at first but the more I get to know her the more I hope it becomes more than that

>>41461952
from my experience: meet first, test the waters about something long term afterwards. some of them get really panicky when notions of actually being liked for more than sex date are thrown around

>>41444568
>After we broke up she joined their polycule. She fell madly in love with one of them and talked to me about it constantly, then 6 months later the girl dumped her and now my ex is stuck living with and dating the fat third wheel in their polycule who refuses to get a job and makes her pay all the rent.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

>>41462245
Yeah that's my plan, like I said just want to enjoy it and see where it goes. I'm new to dating so I think on some level this is me experiencing a lot of these feelings for the first time and learning how to handle them.

>>41462288
That's exactly my experience dude. Hell, I'm the fucking OP. I really fell hard for this girl lol I had relationships before, but still, I suppose I tend to fall in love deeply

Cis bi guy btw, I had a situationship with some girl that I met through another girl that i met through the board. We like crushed on each other so hard behind our mutual's back before we finally decided to tell her that we were into each other. After that we basically spent the month calling everyday and talking for hours about whatever the fuck. I'm kind of a lonely and insecure person and she would always console me about how she really does like me.

Since she lived a few states away from me she eventually got a plane ticket to come and see me so we could finally spend some irl time together. Waited like the whole month to see her and moved some stuff around in my calender to free up time. Then one of my other online friends invites the girl im interested in over to her house to sleep before she catches her flight (they both lived in the same state). Find out the next day when im drinking with the girl that she had fucked my friend like hours before seeing me for the first time. Cried in front of her while she told me that im such a sweet person who someone will surely love one day. Ended up driving her back to the airport the next day cause i couldnt stand being around her anymore.

shit has ruined my confidence for weeks

>>41462569
. . . what was her name

>>41462594
Why would I say???

>>41462668
to protect your fellow chasers from being hurt

>>41462675
She browses the /lgbt often so i'd rather not take the chance, if she reads this shell know who she is anyways

I've been rejected by every woman I've ever tried to date. Even now I pine for women I was never with. I'm going to die alone.

>>41462915
no way you're actually Cosmo

>>41462569
you got ultra giga hyper cucked over a tranny and it wasn’t even by a dude but a chick?

>>41463307
I think she was just super agp and using me to feel better about herself

>>41462915
chin up anon

>>41458267
>most normal transbian

>>41448952
are you bi or did you force yourself somehow to sleep with women

>>41470247
im bi in theory not really practice. i was predominantly attracted to women before hrt and now men after hrt. i guess im still attracted to women but nowhere near as much it’s much 80-20

>>41471426
and do you think it's a genuine attraction to men or meta attraction of being a girlfriend etc?

>>41447235
>wasting such a great potential gf

>>41472590
Happens more often than you'd think. I had something similar recently happen to me and I'm feeling a little black pilled on sex and relationships now.

>>41473314
>all the cute girls get black pilled then are unavailable
What a depressing life

>>41473317
To be fair, I said feeling like not that I am. I just need some time to heal and I'll get back out there again. Just might take a couple months.

>>41441376 (OP)
>MtF, 24 years old
>my only relationship up until last year was a cis lesbian who treated me like shit
>october 2024. somehow manage to bump into a guy on this board who lived in the same small euro country as me
>he’s literally perfect
>almost too good to be true
>we meet up a few times and i had never felt so happy and safe as when i was with him
>my mental illnesses spiral and i do some really dumb things
>scare him off
>ruined my one chance at getting a wonderful man and can’t stop comparing every new person i meet to him
>none of them are even half as good as he is
just kill me

Depressing thread

>>41471643
>meta attraction
meme

>>41473407
I'd ask roughly what region anon, though
>can’t stop comparing every new person
admittedly doesn't fill me with confidence

>>41476113
northern europe
>admittedly doesn't fill me with confidence
wdym? you're probably not him. i doubt he still posts here

Alright listen up faggots and let me explain to you my personal psychological torture the for almost a year.

Around this time last year I started crushing on this mtf. It continuously fucked me up because she was everything I wanted to be. I never wanted to approach her but because I'm pre everything and repressing she occupied both parts of my mind. Whenever I thought I was over her, she showed up like magic. One time I was at the store with my friends and for the first time in weeks I thought of her and within seconds I saw her come in the doors and say hi to me. She sort of flirted with me but because she called herself transbian I gave up. At some point I started to focus on myself.

I got over her but she didn't know that so she was still sliding up on my stories and posting thirst traps on hers. She was still hot to me and whenever we talked irl it was fairly amorous so I considered hitting on her back for real, then things got even worse. I talked to other friends outside of my inner circle and whenever I mentioned her they talked about how they didn't like her at all. Eventually I found out the whole town hated her and she was infamous for various reasons. I suspect I'm one of like 3 /tttt/ users in my town but I can't say too much because this bitch is so crazy I wouldn't be surprised if she was discretely on here every hour of everyday. At some point I found out she insulted my friends in their face for no reason as I was in the other room, another told me how she LOST it and ended it with her best friend, then this other trans bitch who is also crazy kept leaking details to me about how she had sex with her bestie and she had some gross sex habits. She was probably telling half-truths but the bigger point is that life was throwing my crush back in my face. Like how my crush for her was magic the breaking of it was also. All of my friends were telling me about how much they hated her and a new terrible thing they learned whenever she was brought up.

>>41476975
hated bitches are the best ngl

>>41447304
I wasn’t that good at Janna, we were mostly abusing a super broken Janna/Caitlyn lane but it was fun though, I’ve always felt bad that you got your account banned because if I remember correctly you were defending me in chat.
You were my first big heartbreak, you were the one that blocked me, at that time I would’ve done literally anything to be your gf you have no idea how much you hurt me but it’s been so long I’m finally healthier and happier and I wish you the best, S

>>41441376 (OP)
>be me
>agp since 6 years old
>dedicate myself to repressing
>never date outside of short term e-dating cringe psuedo-relationships that end with them ghosting me

I wish I could have been a woman. I would have taken being a decent looking tranny. But even that is too good for me. I'm stuck as an ugly unconfident lonely man with no hope of having a romantic relationship because of my deviant sexuality. It all feels like a huge joke at my expense.

>>41477063
fool

bumpy

you ruined everything over nothing

>>41477063
Nah it'd be my first date ever since high school, not navigating those dumbass socialties. My girlfriend in HS we didn't even have a real date outside of school so it would maybe be my first date ever.

>>41479698
this is so vague it could practically be about anyone

>>41479698
>>41481667
lmao yeah I fucking love it. feels really low effort too and compact too

>>41441376 (OP)
trans person blew up my car because i didnt give them all my money, true story.

I have so many regrets. I've broken a lot of hearts I think. Always letting the worst of me ruin everything I've loved because every other part of me was scared into inaction. hell every time I was rape I bet I could've overpowered the person holding me down but just didn't. And then letting it destroy me, refusing the uncountable chances given to me to be a decent human. At least my mental is getting so bad that I can barely remember what's happened. If I think about it hard I can remember what I was probably doing around what time, but it doesnt even feel like a memory. I'll never be more than my flaws. Maybe thinking about all of them and using the power of friendship and love, I'll finally be able to go through with it.

>>41444568
>then 6 months later the girl dumped her and now my ex is stuck living with and dating the fat third wheel in their polycule who refuses to get a job and makes her pay all the rent.
never read anything more deserved

Is it just inevitable for trannies to distance themselves after you show interest and actually attempt to create a relationship? It keeps happening, they're interested until they suddenly aren't and the more I push the more distant they become.
I think I need to stop being attracted to mentally ill people

>>41441376 (OP)
So like one time there was this cute tranny who came to visit me out on my island.

She was really sweet and funny and smart and we liked to debate.

I spilled my soul to her and she still loved me.

Maybe just like as a friend with a bit more intimacy but as a valued friend.

She came to my island and I did everything I could to try and make her happy for a week.

We had so much fun.

Now she's gone.

I wish I knew if she was okay.

Holding her was the happiest i've ever been.

I might be a chud, but I have a heart.

I would have done anything for her.

Probably would have given up my beliefs at her command or at least keep them to myself and try never to think of them
again.

I don't think she'd want that for me though.

She found me fascinating and I found her fascinating.

I found her beautiful and I long to make love to her again.

congratulations on becoming a woman

>>41483935
it's either this or they become codependent on you and there's no in between

>>41484562
How realistic is a FWB-type thing with a cute tranner, in your experience?

>>41485478
any attempt at a romantic or sexual relationship will fall into one of the two previously discussed categories

>>41484562
honestly I think I'd prefer having a codependent relationship within reason

>t. mtf
>dating cisf lesbian for 2 years
>always reluctant to help with transitioning
>demanded i top every single time
>would 'accidentally' use he occasionally
>she becomes extremely distant
>would not send a single text message for a week at a time
>cheated with moid after becoming distant
its over, right?

>>41486738
the concept of dating a cis woman who can only conceptualize of sex with you as PIV and wondering if she sees you as a man. lol.

It was a croatian girl, she deleted her account just after we decided to meet :(
I still hope she is here somehow

>>41477733
I'm glad that I finally found you. It's been almost 5 years. Thank you for responding and giving me closure that you are well. As long as you're healthy and happy, I'm happy for you. I always wish you the best too.

You were the kindest and most comforting person to me, we could sit in a call together endlessly, and I'd never get tired of your presence. If you are in a relationship right now, they are lucky to have you.

I'm sorry for hurting you. You were always an amazing person to me, while I was deeply immature for my age. Separating from you was an awful mistake, and I regretted it deeply.

Thank you for being kind even though I wronged you. You were always a gracious and patient person. I always think highly of you, and I think fondly of the time I spent with you.

Take care, Y. You're always in my thoughts. Have the best life. And, I'm sorry for everything.

>>41484425
Thank you.

>>41477733
Thank you for sharing that song, I listened to it all day. It's one of my new favorite songs now.

Here are a few breakup songs I listened to back then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCGDfQClIPY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78kNL2-4qwY

If I had the opportunity to just be your friend again, I'd be really happy. Given what happened, though, I don't think it's likely, because of the things I've done. You're a beautiful woman and an amazing person, so I imagine you probably currently have someone good for you, and have built your own life. I wouldn't want to interfere with anything; I respect and care for you.

I just wish you well. Knowing you exist in the world, and that you're happy and healthy, is enough for me. Thank you for being in my life the brief time that you were. I'll always care about you.

You were so beautiful. I remember it made you shy when I kept repeating that. Sorry if it annoyed you.

>>41453729
trannies do this too? fembrained af

>>41483935
>Is it just inevitable for trannies to distance themselves after you show interest and actually attempt to create a relationship?
This happened to me, we were super close for a few months and i really thought we had a future together and then everything just fell apart. It's one of the most devastating things I ever felt.

>>41486371
Codependent relationships are hot, I'm very dependent and I want to meet someone else who is just as obsessed with me so they won't trigger my abandonment issues.

Passoid gf dumped my neverpasser ass only to date slightly less clocky troons and cisgirls. Probably beacuse she's lesbian and people assumed we're a cis couple every time we go out. It still hurts, I saved her youngshit life while she had zero concern for me all this time

>>41486738
you got conned by a straight woman

>>41486371
>codependent relationship
>within reason
there's nothing reasonable about it. i told a girl i needed a little space so she bought a gun to kill herself with and her friends had her committed.

>>41496471
it's not. they will inevitably leave you, and you will be left with nothing to show for the last 7 years of your life. no personal growth, no financial growth, just an empty husk without them.

>>41486371
>>41496471
I need this. If I had a codependent tranner gf, I'd never complain about anything ever again.

>>41493826
I hate that it seems that we are in the exact opposite position each other were years ago, I don’t wanna cause any pain :c
Honestly I’m a pretty bad friend, the way I laser focus and devote myself to my partner tends to make me neglect friends, so a less warm, friend version of me isn’t worth dealing with I think, specially with you I’d have to put a few boundaries.
Also I still think you’re exaggerating my qualities lol, but I’m happy you have fond memories
Those are pretty cute songs, I’ll add them to my playlist

>>41441376 (OP)
I miss my ex still. I dont wanna get back with her, but somehow I thought we're gonna stay friends and that we had something unique. I blame myself because I definitely had a meltie or two about her basically acquaitance-zoning me, and that only made the distance between us even worse. At this point, we no longer communicate at all. I got other friends, sure, so I have "moved on" in that sense, but I still miss her and wish things were different.
She used to be a trip here years ago actually lol, but I dont think she comes here now. T, youre likely not going to see this, but I hope youre well.

>>41496580
Im sorry nona, you didnt deserve that :(.

>>41473407
a similar thing happened to me

>>41497755
No pain caused. I don't see you as someone belonging to me, nor some I deserve. I'm just happy for you. These posts actually bring me some closure.

I've had many relationships since then, matured, and I'm doing well in my career, so don't worry about my wellbeing. I'm a much more stable, less erratic person, and I try to keep improving.

I wonder how you're doing sometimes, and think of you. It's more than enough to know you're well, with someone that loves you. Maybe I'm ultimately happier for that.

I don't want it to feel like a chore or emotional labor to maintain a connection with someone that hurt you, it would be a rude ask from me. But, If you ever need a friend, there's an open invitation. I enjoyed the compatibility we had as friends, your conversations, your personality, your presence. I wouldn't mind boundaries, given what happened. It's good that you prioritize your partner.

It's more likely that will never happen, so I'll keep pushing forward and growing as a person. Part of me does still long for you. I know the memory, it's a bit exaggerated, but those feelings from back then were a reality to me, so I still hold that close to me, because you're something I cherish that I don't want to fully let go.

You're a great person and I really wish you the best. Take care, and goodbye.

>>41487166
wtf? how sure was she about meeting? that just makes me extremely paranoid

>>41497871
It’s great to hear you’re doing better!
It wouldn’t be a chore lol I think it would be fun having someone to share memes, music with, talk about anime, etc
If you drop your discord I’ll add you

>>41496471
>>41497422
I also want a gf who depends on me, a bit of the emotional role of a dad, and cherish my little girl

I'm sorry for being retarded and uniformed and insane

>>41502146
how did u fuck up

>>41441376 (OP)
im still obsessed with a situationship i had when i was younger. we met on some shitty dead game and were.. erratic with eachother. flirty one day and no contact the day. on/off like this for months with sometimes taking a year break with eachother. she introduced me to tttt back then and we discovered a lot abt ourselves during that period. unfortunately lost contact with her for a mistake i had made. we reconnected again awhile ago, but we dont really talk nearly as much. she also may have detransitioned, i dont really know. everytime i try to talk to them it feels like a wall, and my interest in rekindling a friendship is met with silence or avoiding hanging out.. its been months since i last texted them now. but i think abt them all the fucking time and wish we were still friends. i know the idealized version of them in my head doesnt exist, but fuck man its just hard. i miss those 2017 summer nights. staying up till 2am every fucking day. i miss it sm.

if u see this t, its who u think it is.. lol T_T

>>41441376 (OP)
I had a couple of boys I was interested in online. I was flirting with them and they wanted some pics. So I sent pics to both of them and both of them clearly lost interest and have drifted away. After some other awful things happened, I'm really insecure now. I don't think anyone can actually like my body.

Unfortunately the way I play games and my personality get a lot of people interested. I'm too scared to show anyone myself because I know they will not like me. They say oh no you shouldn't be nervous, I bet you're gorgeous and then they see me and it's like, "oh nvm".

>>41499683
I don't want to disrespect you or your relationship. If your partner is okay with it,

evergrande99

If not, I'm happy to just be fondly enamored with my memory of you. Even if there is a lot of trust in the relationship, I see it as partly disrespectful, so I understand if you choose not to.

I'm just happy to know that you exist and you're happy.

>>41441376 (OP)
im sorry i fed you too much acid, if I knew what was going to happen I never would have. I miss you even though I ended things afterwards. I wish I could have been a better friend to you, but I hope the time we shared was time well spent. Sometimes I think about reaching out again, but I am way less mentally stable now and would probably not be good for you. I really hope youre doing better. <3s

This disease is the reason I'm going to die alone. I think, at this point, I'll just accept it and make peace with it. I like my own company, anyway.

>>41505623
:( be well anon

>>41486773
>most giving cis woman

>>41505524
You’re so hesitant it makes me feel like you don’t want it…
Maybe it’s better for you if I don’t add you? Maybe I would just bring back chaos when it seems you’re getting better
I’m sorry I don’t mean to hurt you I just have a feeling this is the correct choice
You take care too, ok?

>>41507936
Hey, I really respect and support any decision you make.

I do want to be there for you in any capacity. I just prioritize being respectful towards you, you mentioned the boundaries would be important to you. It's also important to me that your partner is okay with it, because how our friendship ended was very tumultuous because of my own shortcomings, a lack of respect, ethics and communication. So, I'm trying to atone for the wrong I've done.

In terms of inviting chaos into my life, probably not. My life has been good since we separated, I'm not sure what I told you while we were talking, it's been a very long time. Regardless, it's very unlikely for a single person to disturb my life. It's kind of impossible for romantic feelings to impair me, I'm pretty enduring. And, I don't feel jealous.

My adoration for you doesn't really impact other aspects of my life, you're just a person I'm really fond of and think of occasionally. I moved on with my career and education, and had experiences with different women.

If this is the correct choice for you, I respect it. I just wanted to clarify. I'm a pretty reserved person in general, so it might seem like I'm not eager to talk to you, but I'm happy you're well.

I'm sorry if my messages came off as rejecting or makes you feel unwanted as my friend. You're someone I really cared about, remember fondly, think highly of. I only have nice things to say about you as a person. And I regret how I treated you, it's one of my biggest regrets. You were really important to me, but I don't think I ever told you or demonstrated that properly. I was too young and stupid to articulate that at the time, but I've grown a lot as a person since then.

I always wish you well.

>>41508088
>>41507936
And, I'm not at all hurt. I'm not really an emotional or sensitive person. Really, I just want to give you a hug. You're a very compassionate person and empathetic person. You're as beautiful on the inside as on the outside, that's why I didn't want to forget you.

I called you beautiful and pretty so many times, I remember it made you shy. Anyone else would get sick of me doing that, so thank you for letting me do that when we were younger, it's how I like to demonstrate affection.

If this is goodbye, you were the funnest and cutest girl. Thanks for giving me closure.

>>41505590
>retard shocked when drugs cause psychosis

>>41508152
It seems we are better off this way then, I’m happy, you’re happy.
I wanted to do the mature thing of staying as friends or whatever but honestly any friendship I can give you will never beat the idealized memory you have of me and even if I’m being selfish I rather be this cute memory you can look back on.
Goodbye~

>>41510274
Having you in any capacity will always beat the idealized memory. I would accept any flaws, because you did that for me during that time. The only thing I want from you after all this time is knowing you're well.

It's an idealized memory because you were everything I wanted. There's nothing to beat, you'll always be you, and you're still you. I kind of idealized you during the friendship too, and I don't regret it. It wasn't wrong, it was real to me. I'm naturally like that. It was really fun to put you on a pedestal and shower you with adoration. I'm grateful that you let me.

I think fondly of how pure and innocent your feelings were, you accepted me despite all my shortcomings.

I would've just been happy to hear how you're doing in life, or give you closure on everything that happened during that time and what I've done since then.

I just wanted to be respectful to your partner. If they aren't happy with this, I couldn't.

At that time, we decided to part ways for a similar reason, one of us was in a relationship, it's hard to resist you, and I don't have that problem with anyone else.

You're really too damn beautiful.

But, I understand your reasons for doing this. It's probably for the best. You'll always be the 10/10 I fumbled and the one that got away.

I'm as content knowing you're happy with someone else as I would be having you myself, genuinely.

Thank you for letting me apologize. I uniquely feel a lot of regret about how I treated you compared to other people I dated.

I'll always care about you. Farewell.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZl0MHwgn8c

>>41505590
are you retarded
>im sorry i stabbed you. i didnt know

>>41441376 (OP)
lol I never thought I would ever see a thread thats about me on here.
I'm sorry for ghosting you, I felt really terrible and like you hated me. I thought about you, of course, but I figured you don't care or have found someone else.
hope your exams went well
I don't really know if reaching out would be a good idea, I'm not much more stable
S

>>41504947
I had a retarded opinion and then I flipped out when she broke up with me because of it

>>41511426
you should have seen the smile on my face when I saw this, accompanied by relieved laughter. I check this thread frequently. I am really glad to see you.

I'm sorry for not having been gentle and.. insightful enough, sweetie. I could never hate you! haha I thought "she's telling me to get rid of her.. is she the one trying to get rid of me while trying not to hurt me? why would someone say that otherwise? I wouldn't say that to someone that I like a lot. I don't wanna be some creep that can't take a hint". I guess it was a bit dumb of me and I really should have known better.
>figured you don't care
aw, I thought of you every day. I was always doing that anyway, but especially with your disappearance. before your account appeared as deleted, I would check right after waking up, if I heard from you or saw you online. multiple more times throughout the day. tried checking up on you several times.
you should see some of those messages... classics like
>tfw they are already selling all the christmas themed sweets, but I may never be able to buy some for and with S.
I couldn't believe it when the account was deleted.
be assured that I genuinely like you a lot and had serious intentions with you. there are other things I'd like to say, but we can do that in private. we will take things at the right pace, let my cutie feel more stable, and I'm going to do a lot better for your sake with these kinds of things. let this just be a funny story we can tell people one day while I suck my own dick for having had this idea lmao
I didn't think I'd ever reach a character limit on 4chan.

>>41513571
I have to be self-indulgent and say, let's take a step back to appreciate the ingenuity behind it. with nothing to go off of other than a vague assumption you might browse here sometimes, and as a relative newfag in the grand scheme, this thread had the plausible deniability of existing as a vent thread, people kept sharing their stories, and it sustained itself.
I said
>pic unrelated
which is of course a lie that I hope brought you a little chuckle. this picture was the key to everything, as it would cause instant neuron activation in exactly *my* tranny and no one else's, while still looking plausible.
amazingly, two other people
>>41447304
>>41477733
randomly found each other after 5 years and managed to get some closure. I was beginning to lose hope a bit after a week, and thought if nothing else, at least there was that. that being said. I'm sure it would have stayed up for a little longer, with a little nudge here and there ;)

how it feels to know even if my tranner sees this thread and sees my post and knows it's me she would never ever reply

>>41511426
>>41513571
>>41513597
I'm genuinely happy for you two.

I also tried to artificially bump this thread to keep it alive, haha.

>>41514144
Same. It's been so long and I still love her.

something ive noticed reading stories like these in various threads is that when a chaser loses his tranny its like he's completely broken up about it in a way that seems far even beyond a regular breakup. Could any chasers elaborate?

>>41514440
When you finally find reciprocal love and lose it, it's devastating because finding it again is very hard

>>41514617
Chasers have to have dated cis women before though no? I never hear about these kinds of stories about them.

>>41514440
because she was my soulmate

>>41514649
All my cis relationships were very toxic

>>41514440
I'm a bi tranner. Because she was my soulmate is the best answer.

I've dated many cis women, cis men. She was the most amazing and beautiful. My feelings for her are eternal and nothing can stop me from wanting her.

>>41514440
tranny relationships can be intense highs and lows. you get very attached this way

>>41514440
Trannies are ensouled in a way cis people rarely are. Insane personality depth and terminally online match

>>41517177
This is also very true.

>>41513571
>I'm sorry for not having been gentle and.. insightful enough, sweetie.
thats really not it, its not your fault I feel this unstable and weird in my brain. in fact it makes me feel worse when you are this kind and forgiving to my mistakes when all I can see is a horrible disgusting person (myself). and even that is not your mistake, its mine, you are not "too nice" or shit like that. my desire to be loved collides with my desire to self destruct.
I'm not sure I can hash it out in time, meaning the heat death of our star.
your intellect is what made me fall in love with you in the first place so I'm not surprised you found me again.
and its very cool other people found closure through it.
but I'm not sure we will have a happy ending, my problems keep persisting and I don't want to hurt you (or myself) even more.
I want nothing more than to sleep in your arms but I'm pretty sure I would fuck it up again and make you hate me, and that would hurt more than anything.
stupid ramblings over.

>>41444568
The polycule thing is such a sad social disease that transgender women are cursed with.

Falling into the same hole doesn't mean that's quality love or a quality scenario. But the temptation of comfort is there just like with any common temptation.

Anyway, I guess my story is dealing with a girl (trans, I'm a cis guy) who was so down on her luck that she permanently was in a state of 'what if something better comes'.

Her temptations drove her mentally toward wanting something polyamorous in the future, not because that's actually the best scenario for her (she admitted it had been bad in the past, though in other words), but because its the safest scenario where you don't have to worry about commitment as much and have the illusion of getting what you want when you want it, when it just restricts you from other quality interactions just the same.

She was a sweetheart, but she had problems and she let her friends who were hyper-liberal lesbian (cis) tropes claim all her mental space for opinions. I call them hyper-liberal lesbian tropes but they were straight. And cis. So I guess you can sort of build them in your mind. They meant well, but the life they chose to percieve was surely exhausting and ultimately hindered their enjoyment of life.

I hope they all do well in life and she finds what she wanted.

I learned a few things from that relationship, like how to respect myself when I feel someone is cornering me into an emotional scenario I don't want - and how to get out ahead of it. I also had to contend with my first instance of someone being a size-queen even though my penis isn't small.

Goddamn girl I can literally suck you while I fuck you isn't that enough.

Anyway, I'm with another trans woman now because I was on taimi and that's basically how that works, she doesn't have BPD and she's an even bigger sweetheart. I hope you all do well.

>>41514440

Chasers who are actually chasers are emotionally weak and trans women are vulnerable targets. BPD/Autism, sexual trauma and social trauma runs very high and when someone who is a lecherous underbelly rat (chaser) who may not have success with cis women finds beautiful women who don't value themselves and are willing to put up with their shit, it's two manic retards meeting.

It also hands a cis guy a loaded gun. He's carrying a loaded gun and if he's never carried a loaded gun before, he might not be very qualified to handle that emotional responsibility of staying stable and also reacting with a level of strength when hearing about all these sad thoughts and feelings and situations their partner has to deal with and has had to deal with.

BPD in general keeps running through the population because their emotional highs and lows are unfortunately deeply attractive because they're reminiscent of youthful novelty, it's like seeing someone who is starry eyed all the time and that drama makes everything more serious than the normal mundane life that occurs outside of those peoples lives.

It's ensnaring, but nothing against either of them if they're not actively hurting eachother and are just sort of drowning in eachothers pools.

>>41508167
you've never done psychedelics have you

>>41511092
okay dramatic as hell jfc

t. cisboy. i had my first love in spring. i'd never dated before, but i found a tran gal who wanted to go out and spend time together. she was cool, cute, smart, pretty, sweet. i was dazzled by her brilliance, her mere existence. any chance i could get to be around her, i took. my thoughts were full of her each day.
we dated for about three months before she essentially retreated from regular life for srs and recovery... but by that time i could sense a growing distance. i spent many weeks pretending we could be together, entertaining a fantasy. that time i spent with her is maybe the first time in my life i've been happy. by summer, we had straightened things out and concluded that she could not return my affections. we agreed to split up. another three and a half months have passed since then, and i tear up when i'm browsing my photos from this year and see the pictures i took of her. i don't know what to do now but wait for my heart to heal, and hope someday to find someone who looks at me like i looked at her

half of these are just parasocial relationships where someone got unhealthily obsessed over their friend (or maybe not even friend just someone theyd met or interacted with)

>>41514144
I died lmfao

>>41514412
thanks a lot. I suppose we're not quite out of the woods yet.. but we're almost there, surely. were you bumping it for one of your own posts or for the OP haha

>>41517397
it's not like you thought "felt cute, might ghost today <3"
I thought nah this doesn't make sense.. there is nooo way she didn't like me, I can't have misread things *that* autistically haha
eventually I figured it's a misunderstanding that drove it, as you see I already speculated in the OP.
and if that was true, I also knew you were very unlikely to ever reach out on your own. that was the frustrating part, right?
because we really liked each other, and didn't have an actual problem or falling out.
we can talk about what can be done if you ever feel that way again, but I will for certain be a lot more reassuring to prevent things like that, and we're going to take our time. you will have space if you need it.
I will never hate you, sweetie. you're going to be in my arms, where you belong :)
I'm using a name this time that should verify to you it's me. and if I need to say anything else, you'll know from the tripcode as well. but how about instead you just finally absolve me of having to worry about keeping this thread alive for over a week :P and one thing's for sure: you're not going anywhere from now on haha.

>>41519503
I don't think it will be neccesary to keep this thread up for a week since this will be my final answer.
I like you, you were not mistaken. sometimes thats not enough though, I have to get my life in order. I don't wanna fail any more classes.
I was looking for guidance and mutual assistance, but realized I'm not ready.
I'm sorry. I thought about this a lot and thats the best answer I could come up with to explain how I feel. bye

>>41521482
maybe things were a bit too fast, especially pitted against the self destructive feelings. if what you'd need is for us to take some steps back and slow down a lot, focus on keeping each other accountable and checking in on our goals, that's something I would be more than happy to take seriously and provide. I regret that we didn't get the chance to.
you are someone I liked on a personal level, and I know I'd benefit from that kind of support too, since there are things I've been working on improving in my own life as you know. and of course, there are things like what we talked about before you had to visit family for a few days, that was weighing on your mind.
if you would like to talk about this, you know how to find me. if not, I understand and wish you farewell. just don't end up thinking that I wouldn't care to be reached out to one day haha. I'm glad that at least we got to set the record straight that I definitely didn't hate you.

forgot the trip code, but yeah obviously that was me
>>41521482

>>41441376 (OP)
fuck it lets see how insane this gets
>theymab
>didn't tell me they were ace
>too attached to leave
>threatens to kill me several times
>breaks up unsurprisingly
>goes on multi-year tirade to slander me resulting in me being stalked by a misogynist paedophile
>somehow not the weirdest thing to come out of bus nerding

>first proper tranny
>met via a discord puppygirl from czechia from all places
>nice
>broke up bc she just felt distant and rabid discord polycule she dragged me into had a massive group crashout

>turbogigahon
>literally named herself Marisa Kirisame at one point
>insane pda that i don't want to describe
>on and off for a while
>i liked the insane clinginess
>went insane after a while so i kinda just let her be

>random transbian i met on a scottish discord
>insanely submissive puppygirl stereotype
>easy to control i suppose
>went insane when she figured out i was not in fact the star spangled transsexual protector she thought i was and was just a bpdemon
>broke up with me oh well what a shame

>random very local tranny someone got me to meet
>cute ig, had fugly blue hair but her bedroom was very nerdily cute
>realised i didn't really like her more than i just liked the relationship and that she was just intensely retarded
>break up with her

i wonder how the next time will go

it's over

>>41522585
are you ok

>>41522585
Sounds like I should just switch to dating dudes then

>>41522585
this is actually very tame for a transbian's dating history

the worst part is absentmindedly wondering when she'll come home then remembering

I'm kind of a dumbass. I sat there and watched you slowly pull away from everything we used to do together, and I slapped a big smile on my face and just pretended nothing was happening. I should have at least tried. But I was pretty sure if I tried then it wouldn't have worked and maybe even made things worse. I'm blackpilled at this point on saving things, once someone makes up their mind to fuck off, there's nothing you can do. I did my best. At least I can say I handled it with dignity and grace, but I still miss you.

I gave it my last shot, we played chess daily and could never beat him, I won today and asked him if he let me win and I got hit with a "I don't like you that much", then asked him to keep in touch and he just said "you already got my number", I give up.

>>41525505
im so sorry nona

>>41525505
i’m sorry girl. you’re beautiful and caring and worthy of love

>>41441376 (OP)
fuck we were so in love and she just left me completely out of the blue for someone else and she did so mcuh shit that broke my fucking heart over and fucking over. i loved her., and i dont want her anymore but sometimes i think about her face and it hurts. and she has someone new and i know she loves him so much. becauise shes so capable of love its amazing. i hate myuself. i like myself and then i thinkm of her and the love i felt and i hate myself and i never reall y like myself. never. no one gets it no one understands and i thought she did but she doesnt either. no one does. i do hope shes happy i dont want to but i do. and i dont want her. but fuck.

i kinow shes doing good. i know shes doing good i mean i dont know but i know. she is. i know shes loved and is loving and good for her,.

I'm mostly sad that I'll never find anyone as sexually deviant her who was so physically my type.

I miss ya nat.

i miss him but he doesnt

>>41527854
How do you know that he doesn't?

>>41527860
we never had anything more than a friendship and he has a cis gf now

He didn't even say goodbye, he knew today was the last time we'd see each other again and he didn't even think twice of leaving me behind without looking back.

Just wrote and deleted an absolutely insane ventpost
I am not well
I miss him so fucking much it's ridiculous, I don't think it's rational
It hurts a lot

>>41527898
holy fuck im in the exact same situation

>>41521482
finally, my last word before this thread dies. since this is something you mentioned before, keyword "control".
if you'd like to be told exactly what classes to attend, how long to study what, what errands to get done by when, or just be guided in a general sense, I'll do it.
I don't have to be very affectionate and loving if it causes these problems. if you need to be something less than a gf because you can't deal with the self sabotage right now, then that's fine. you might remember what I said made me bite in your original post when we met. that is still something I would like.
I'd rather make it work in a way that keeps you (even more) functional and worry about addressing long-term problems like the sabotage later, if at all, since there is no rush to solve those things. but, it would be a shame to have lost each other permanently because of current issues or me having been open to more, that much I know.

>>41528577
lets talk about it in private.
I added your throwaway assume its still the same as before.

>>41528153
so many poor transgirls here full of love to give to cis boys but they will never let them be their gfs