Thread 41531774

so why didnt you start hrt as a teenager? whats your excuse

>>41531774 (OP)
I was hoping puberty would masculinize me sufficiently. When it didn't, I trooned.

I was too afraid and ignorant to ask for help because my parents had already shut down the idea and susansplace and then later /cd/ told me hrt was fake or toxic or a scam or whatever

>>41531774 (OP)
Family shut me down anytime I tried to bring it up and I didn't have any support. It takes everything I have to talk to them these day, I heavily resent them for it.

>>41531774 (OP)
I wasn’t trans then
Gender stuff was too scary to ask for help
I genuinely was just a cis man who was failing at being a man

Idk i started at 18 then stopped for some reason and began at 21

>>41531774 (OP)
Had to pause hrt as a teenager to get srs as a teenager?

i didnt know about it

>>41531774 (OP)
Conservative and religious family back before DIY was really available over the internet.

>>41531774 (OP)
repression

>>41532001
yes tou were

>>41531774 (OP)
I wasnt balding yet

>>41531774 (OP)
I did but 16 was way too late for me I should have started at 13 :(

parents got really mad at me for saying i wanted to be a girl in first grade, so i repped for a long ass time and convinced myself i was just a weird cis guy. also didn’t really know diy was an option until i was 19, i think

>>41531774 (OP)
i was raised in a heavily abusive and conservative home with super obsessive parents that controlled what schools i went to who i made friends with what contact i could have with the outside world/online how i acted etc etc and wouldnt let me have any money until i managed to get a job myself and i didnt find out diy even existed until i was 18 (which is when i first bought it, until they found out and kicked me out of the house and i had to wait until i turned 19 and got a coworker from my new job to help me sneak it in again since i had lost my previous job after being placed in a mental hospital for 2 weeks)

i thought the tranny thoughts would go away and also that being a transvestite was something only gay men did.

>>41531774 (OP)
I was already a chad when I entered my teens, it would be cope if I said I wasnt. 100% made to not troon

>>41531774 (OP)
ROGD

>>41533437
ewq

I'm a pussy.

>>41531774 (OP)
didn't know about diy for my formative years and was too petrified to come out. repped for ages and hoped the trans thoughts would eventually disappear and/or puberty would make me not a manlet. it ended up giving me wide shoulders and a man's face but stuck me at 5'5" and the rest of my body a twig so i just trooned anyway

Didn't know what hormones were until adult let alone HRT. Education system is like that. Now you have politicians ranting about trannies all the time so everyone knows.

>>41531774 (OP)
My family scolded my every attempt at expressing femininity, so I hid it from them, and all I could find when looking for help behind their backs, was online porn, hand me down clothes and makeup from friends, and knowledge that I could only get hormones if I got diagnosed with gender dysphoria and parental approval, but I knew my parents would never allow it. When my puberty ended up being delayed and slow they tried to get doctors to put me on T (but thank God they never did) and they also just wanted me on antidepressants without actually understanding that I was dysphoric and crying for a reason.

>>41531774 (OP)
broke and my mom is a narcissistic weirdo

>>41531852
I blocked my dad. I hate my dad. He can win his way back in my life by giving me like 60k for ffs(im ugly). He wont though he hates me for being a troon.

when i was a teen there was no such thing. there was only yahoo answers. anorexia was my puberty blocker and it worked.

>>41531774 (OP)
i was going through my chud phase. now im 22 and now its literally over i have to kill myself.

i was scared of the social ramifications of coming out in high school because of how badly my attempt to troon in middle school went but then at 18 when i finally came out in college i got raped (by a tranny who couldnt speak english no less) and went insane and repped until 21

>>41531774 (OP)
I was stupid and a pussy, afraid anyone would find out. Now I get what I deserve for not trying to make my life better.

>>41531774 (OP)
i wasnt aware that trannyism let alone hrt even existed, and i believed every boy fantasizes about being a girl. i was also so abused and ill that all of my mental energy went into not killing my self. i thought about suicide all day every day. not exactly fertile time to philosophise about hour gender when youre barely hanging on to life.

>>41534673
This. Thought trannys were cross dressors or intersex

>>41531774 (OP)
being smart, i knew it was useless

>>41531774 (OP)
being stuck inside of a reserve while being stuck in canada so getting diy was pretty much impossible

>>41531774 (OP)
i thought i'd live in my parents basement forever and i didn't want the awkwardness of explaining to them that i was a tranny

turns out a worse fate awaited me: to get out of the house, but as a 6ft tall man.

>>41531774 (OP)
I actually did. Started at 15 :p

I literally had no idea what trans people or hrt is, and I was too autistic and cowardly to figure it out on my own. Sui soon

cisgender

>>41532892
I was just depressed and failing school and social life. Porn made me trans eventually so now I inject estradiol and pretend I’m a girl online while living as a man full time

Didn't really know about gender transition or gender dysphoria as a concept, I thought I should just hide the way I felt from everyone. Then later when I learned more, I was afraid of starting because I correctly knew I would have to honmode, which was likely to make my life worse than it already was.

>>41531774 (OP)
I had a feeling that it would be seen as "wrong" by others even though I didn't understand much about it, so I thought, even if it's something I wanted to do, I should not do it, because that would be the right thing to do.

essentially I moralitycucked myself.

>>41538280
this is very real, I am extremely conflict averse and have a strong internal sense of shame that inhibits me greatly and makes me anxious to assert myself and do the things i'd like to do in life.

My family best me up enough already. And how would I even start HRT? Didn't know hormones were a thing, but even if i did there's no gay or trans community in the hellhole French city I'm from, who's gonna get them for me?

>>41531774 (OP)
I genuinely feel guilt about this for being such a fucking moron because when I was like 10 my mum caught me googling srs, flat out asked me if I am trans and said she'd support me if so, but I panicked and denied it before proceeding to rep for 9 years

>>41538681
My mum told be she wouldn't tolerate a trans kid when I was 10.
(:

>>41538689
exactly why I feel guilt about it, I basically won the accepting parent lottery and grew up in pre-terf England and still managed to fuck it up

>>41538710
Understandable yeah I mean I'm literally kinda mad at you lol

>>41538729
justified

>>41531774 (OP)
I thought my tranny thoughts were just daydreaming, I had no concept of trannies, first tranny I met was when I was in college at the age of 19, and even then I thought that was an intersex person, I didn't know you could transition. t. born in 1997

>>41538953
I thought trannies were all Susan's hons that did BA but looked like moids lmao

>>41531774 (OP)
Im older than Google

>>41539000
Same, also didn't have internet at home until I was already basically an adult.

unironically only youngshits had a chance (anyone turning 18 in the past 3-4 years). anyone else who trooned at the right age in the past had a god-tier diceroll in which they had a supportive family, and good health professionals.

>>41531774 (OP)
As per the theme i'm noticing here...
Conservative religious father who I was afraid of making blame my mom for me being trans especially since they were semi-divorced and lived apart + being convinced I'd just seem comparable to a pedo (i'd only really seen trans people in like, south park) + thinking i'd never pass.

>>41531774 (OP)
I stopped been a teenager in 2006, back when they forced you to crossdress in public for a year before they would give you a hondose of HRT

>>41538266
Real asf

>>41531774 (OP)
I'm a retard

>>41538963
Susan's Place scared me so bad. Im convinced those MFers are responsible for so many repressors that are trooning out in their 30s and 40s now. That site always came up high in search results and was such an awful face for trannyism.

Optics do actually matter.

>>41531774 (OP)
I desperately wanted acceptance from my parents and drank the estrogen blot clots kool aid

>>41531774 (OP)
Conservative Catholic household, and my mum still doesn't agree with me.

Was referred to the Tavistock by CAMHS, but then the whole fiasco happened and have been in limbo ever since. 6+ years on the GIC waiting list so far and too poor/scared to try out DIY.

>>41531795
>>41531852
>>41534758
>>41539788
all of the above

>>41539788
Yeah it's pretty classic zillenial tranny experience to repress because of Susan's hons.
I wish all those moids would die a horrible painful death

>>41531852
Replace family with my mostly female friends shooting me down, and I didn't have the heart to go to my mom with it and have the most important person to me reject me too.

>>41539989
Those fuckers sent teenage/early 20s me a really strong message that if I embraced these thoughts, I would end up like them. I put everything into trying to be a successful man and fight the tranny thoughts. The manosphere appeared just in time...

fuck