>>41625707
it's a technical term and most online explanations of it are quite bad. abbreviated version here:
>all desire takes the shape of a triangle: the subject (you), the object (the thing you want), and the Big Other (the thing obstructing our access to the object)
>if there weren't an Other in the way, the subject would just get the object, and the subject's desire would be gratified, at which point they'd stop desiring
>the phallus isn't a literal penis, it's a feature of both the subject and the Other. for the purposes of our discussion, it's the means by which an actor "enjoys" the subject
>in traditional freudian analysis, the subject is your mother (whose unconditional affection you want), and the Other is your father (whose discipline gets in the way of unconditional love); the father's phallus obstructs the son's
>but lacan observed that this isn't always the case
>sometimes the mother is both the subject and the Big Other, both the source of warmth and the disciplinarian
>often, women with this disposition have traumatic backgrounds, and developed a tough exterior in response; this toughness makes them good disciplinarians
>in the jargon, the mother develops a phallus, and it's her own phallus which obstructs the son's
>lacan's insight here is that the phallus isn't literally a penis, but rather a more abstract form of penetrative power; the mother penetrates the psyche of the son
>for certain men, the desire for a phallic mother becomes literal as the subconscious adapts to the push-and-pull of phallic maternal love
>see also femdom, tomboys, and the "battle girl" trope in anime
an imprecise explanation but you get the gist
