Ive become so completely obsessed with needing ffs. I have heard so many stories of bfs getting ffs for their trans partner thay ive just become an ugly gold digger. Its pathetic and thats not even how those girls got into those relationships they shared common interest cried in front of their boyfriends about it over and over without asking for anything and the bfs were just angels who loved their gfs. Its not even like i particularly care about wealth im just so convinced im ugly without ffs and disgusted with myself that ive turned down perfectly good guys because they didnt see the same flaw in me that i see in myself. Im too much of a coward to kms about once a month i put a knife to my neck hoping ill have the courage to plunge it deep but i never do. I wallow in self pity and shame and should probably just kms im am easier to commit way like pills or bridge. Idk what i eben want out of this thread i know what people are gona say and i dont really blame them. Maybe in hell ill be someone respectable.