Who here performative reads? My local cafe doesn’t open until 9:00 am so I decided to read and smoke on the beach, in case any women might be close by. There aren’t any however I think I can get some solid performative practice in before high school gets out next week

>>24470940 (OP)
i just read in public to be antisocial with out looking like a phone scrolling dumbass, like even if i'm reading the greatest works of western civ on my phone, my coworkers will just think im browsing thots on instragram but if i can whip open a big fat iliad they know i'm both not paying attention to them and erudite

>>24470940 (OP)
I'm too self-conscious for performative reading, instead I just overly tab my book (so people know that I've actually read it and care enough to take notes) and leave it close by but in very open sight of everyone passing by.

>>24470940 (OP)
Damn that book is battered

>>24470940 (OP)
Whenever I read in public, I hold the book in my lap. If you look closely enough, you can see my penis is nestled in between the pages. So far no one has noticed I read with my cock out.

>>24470940 (OP)
Finally a good thread. What you gotta do, Kings, is get something highbrow but not too highbrow, that's the main pitfall I see performative reader chads fall into, they either go too lowbrow in an attempt to get something recognizable or they go too highbrow and they end up looking autistic. Since selection is the name of the game, you gotta find something in that perfect goldilock zone (there are ofc more unorthodox strategies some advanced performative readers go for but I'd say stick to the basics, don't wanna fall like icarus)

>>24470940 (OP)
Don't know what book to read on the train. There are a lot of Russians here so maybe some more Bulgakow? A novella would be perfect.

>>24471111
But what novels are in the Goldilocks zone, if I read Nietzsche, the pussy will shrivel up

>>24471111
I'm currently performatively reading ''Eugene Onegin: A new translation by James E. Falen'' I've found this to be a good choice after some market analysis in my general area. Though as a somewhat advanced performative reader I do carry a few more books with me that I can swap out when necessary. Good luck, Kings.

>>24471128
I'm currently performatively reading ''Eugene Onegin: A new translation by James E. Falen'' I've found this to be a good choice after some market analysis in my general area. Though as a somewhat advanced performative reader I do carry a few more books with me that I can swap out when necessary. Good luck, King.

>>24471134
ooh reading one book with a stack of extra books sitting on your table? seems like an advanced tactic do i dare

Yes im better than you

>>24471143
You gotta work up to it, King. When I started off I was quite lousy at everything too, you gotta keep at it. Start off simple, the basics will get you far.

>>24471192
I'd say avoid risks if you're not fully confident yet. Unless you're an advanced performative reader playing off the ''pretentious'' label is extremely difficult. I agree with >>24471192 the basics will get you far.

>>24471143
I'd say avoid risks if you're not fully confident yet. Unless you're an advanced performative reader playing off the ''pretentious'' label is extremely difficult. I agree with >>24471192 the basics will get you far.

>>24470940 (OP)
I tried that once in an attempt of meeting people but I stopped because I could not help but feel like a massive egocentric faggot. I'm not against reading in public but after my experience I noticed other people doing this and noticed how its blatantly obvious when someone is reading for the sake of reading and reading for the sake of attention. I remember attending a certain convention once after that experience. The outside had little area with strips of grass with few trees as well; 10 more or less. I kid you not, almost under every tree there was a girl reading. And every one of those girls was outright posing when reading. I'm talking, switching leg positions every few seconds, adjusting their hair, dressing in a way that would give any man plenty of carnal ideas. Oh and course they were all reading the kind of stuff that would make them look smart but instead made them look pretentious. One of them was reading critique of pure reason by Kant. Who the fuck reads Kant in public? Its meant for quiet study in your study, such literature requires full attention and reading it in public while simultaneously caring about your appearance does not help it which at best will result in you getting frustrated and at worst you will misunderstand something because you lost focus for a split second. This surreal experience have taught me that what you call "performative reading" is just fucking stupid.

>>24470940 (OP)
Gotta be flexible. What I sometimes do is have my bag with me while walking and then when I sense women (if you look at them you betray intentionality) I sit somewhere, maybe even on the ground if I'm feeling especially bibliophilic and then I pull out the ol reliable out the bag and start reading. I'm focused on how fast I should turn the pages, minima reaction while reading ofc and don't overdo the head movements, cool and sexy. I try not to look arrogant but not too approachable, somewhat serious but casual is the vibe.

>>24471231
This is a safe space for performative reading chads, take your PRphobia elsewhere you fucking bigot

>>24470955
Yes. But because I only bring it out for performative measures I’ve never actually finished it. When I want to read I use my e-reader, which of course is a screen and as such is the antithesis to performative reading. Of course no woman has ever read BM, but they also know it’s supposed to be good because men get raped in it, so it’s the perfect book to read

Sometimes I read in the nice little park at my university. It's just a small duck pond area. The only person who has every approached me while reading on a university bench is this annoying old Korean evangelical. He would approach me literally every time I sat outside to read on the university campus. So I stopped doing that. It became extremely anxiety-inducing to read outside because I would have to pay attention to my surroundings to watch out for that Korean bastard. As soon as I would see or sense him...zip! I get up and fast walk away from that asshat. It basically got to the point that I was spending more time being on the lookout for the Korean shithead than on actually reading. So as I said, I just stopped reading outside at the university. I haven't seen him in a while though, because I do take a stroll around campus and that area every few days. I think he got too old to proselytize on the streets. I hope he's dead. Because that means I can now go back to reading on campus in peace. Although it's possible he trained an apprentice to annoy the shit out of the campus readers.

>>24471239
You're a funny dude. Do you see yourself as an introvert or an extrovert and to what degree?

I once performatively read Lolita in a park but then some guy asked me to move 100 ft from the kid's playground

This entire thread is bait and an inside joke to fuck with autists like me, right?

I don't believe people actually do that.

>>24471417
its obviously a joke but women do this unironically, not just with reading but any and all interests they have

>>24470940 (OP)
Reading pinecone high was a mistake.

>>24471419
This is bullshit because my normie instathot sister hides the fact she watches anime and kdramas from her Stacy friends

>>24471434
sounds like bullshit since those things are very mainstream and stacies go out of their way to pretend they like anime now.

>>24471436
Nigga thinks the popular gamer girl is a Stacy. If a real Stacy saw you watching anime she'd still think you're a freak.

>>24471419
True you're the only genuine person on this whole big world :D

>>24471456
butthurt roastie

>>24471460
You're still on level one yet think you have any idea what truth is.

>>24471417
His posts were peppered with jokes, so obviously it was just funny bait. No person with a brain would do this shit unironically. Just imagine the humiliation if you get asked details about the book you have been "reading" and you only manage to come up with some generic answer that shows you're a poser.

The opening to going after cacciato was so cool. I couldn't be fucked to read the rest though.

>>24471496
>No person with a brain would do this shit unironically
But they do. All the time. Which is the reason the joke is funny. Because it mocks a real, observable behavior by a pretentious segment of the population. Women are more prone to it than men, but anymore young men are prone to feminized, vapid, attention-seeking behaviors.

I can't believe the people in this thread aren't joking.

Is Faulkner or McCarthy more impressive to have read if I was going to pretend to have read one?

>>24471510
>women are more prone to it than men
t. knows two women

>>24471400
Introvert but I act extroverted

>>24471515
I think half the thread is clearly joking, the others are too autistic to get the joke and maybe like one guy is actually serious

>>24471510
I'm still not convinced that people actually do this. I'm too lazy to keep up with my own lies so I tend to just be myself, just out of pure laziness. And I'm too old to be interested in impressing people but mainly laziness. Plus I'm introverted and kind of don't give a shit about the opinions of other people, especially from the low IQ normies. So there you have it. Laziness and arrogance keeps me honest.

>>24471539
*keep
ffs, and I can't even blame auto-correct for this.
Sorry guys, I'll kms now.

>>24471331
Love it.

I once read the book and it just felt like it took much longer to get what I wanted than if I just tell myself I had already done the thing.

>>24470940 (OP)
This is an advanced strategy, but an ereader makes you look less pretentious while signalling you're a Serious Reader. It also lets you tailor "what book is that?" to the qt in question. I used chatgpt to memorise a suitable range - Sanderson if she's in a tracksuit, Bulgakov for baggy jeans. Be sure to get in on this early before it blows up on /prg/tok and becomes played out.

>>24471539
I don't do it to impress people, I just like reading, at home and at work I read paperbacks but if I go by myself at a bar or cafe I read on my phone cause I don't want peeps to think Im a poser kek

>>24471539
Well if your basis for disbelieving this is that you are old, lazy, and introverted, then are you saying that you believe everyone else in the world is also old, lazy, and introverted? That'd demonstrably not the case.

>>24471530
I invite you to look up booktoks and instagrammers posting bookshelves and reading spaces and to make note of the ratio of men and women.

Now I'm scared that I performative read whenever I go out to cafes. I even bring a small stack... I thought I was forcing myself out there as exposure therapy to other people and to drink tea while reading. I don't even talk to anyone I just read. I'm gonna be sick bros.

>>24471584
There's nothing wrong with performative reading. It's like wearing headphones and bobbing your head to obscure music in public and praying someone asks you about it so you can impress them with your interesting music choice.

>>24471570
Do women really like Sanderson? I thought they considered it nerdy, like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.

>>24471582
I invite you to look how many entrepreneurs are on instagram posting pictures of them smoking fake Cuban cigars in a room with bookshelves full of leather bound classics and posing with rented Bugatti's and make note of the ratio of women to men.

>>24471595
Fantasy chicks love Sanderson. Chicks in general do not. You're better off bringing up Sara J Maas or Colleen Hoover.

>>24471584
A small stack is too much, sorry fellow /lit/terer.

>>24471603
Even if I read from all of them over a few hours?

>>24471620
Oh, in that case no. If you're really worried about looking like an asshole then I say bring a bag with them in it, but you really don't have to care.

>>24471590
also most people do their jobs perfomatively
all people who are constantly busy and irritated when you interrupt them are putting on a big show about how important they are

>>24471428
what are you smoking

>>24471691
A dooby. A diddyblud. A whammy. Bait. Gazoonga. Elote. You know

>>24471570
I read on my iPhone but to make sure people know I’m reading I cross my legs and nod my head a lot while stroking my beard. If I ever can get a convincing little fake chuckle down I’m putting that in the routine too

>>24471595
Not all women read Sanderson but women who read Sanderson are the only literate woman worth dealing with. She reads actual literature? Bam, suddenly you have to deal with a woman’s opinion and that is obviously no good for reasons already discussed here for years. She’s reading smutfantasy or Harry Potter? You can’t leave your dog alone with her.
But a Sanderson woman has good morals, is easy to please, likes pudgy men, and best of all she is literate enough to read thousands of pages but has low standards, so she can review and critique your Royal Road litrpg bullshit

I love reading on the beach, I usually do it when I go fishing. I don't smoke but I carry along my flask full of whisky.

>>24471016
What happens in the YA section at the library when you do this?

>>24471712
I so rarely find words of wisdom on /lit/ that I like to take the time to give them (you)s.

Have a (you), on me.

>>24471596
I have, there's like 5 women for every male.

I like to sit with a copy of go dog go or green eggs and ham never fails to start a convo with a qt at Starbucks or wherever I’m at

>>24471730
If you're gonna lie I don't even know why we'd have a conversation.

>>24471825
I think he meant when he looks at those pictures, there's one man surrounded by five women.

>>24471862
I kneel then.

>>24471727
It's only middle-aged fat women there anyway.

>>24471128
Women seem to love the Russians these days.

>>24471510
>>24471530
>>24471582
>>24471596
>>24471730
>>24471825
Males are drastically more likely to performative read in public. Females PR too, but you don’t see it as often because their PR consists of pulling their book out and snapping a picture of it next to a coffee or a mimosa for a cheeky insta story before promptly putting the book back away.
But I am glad to see /lit/ can argue over which gender is better at fake reading

>>24472127
>males are drastically more likely to performative read in public
t. knows two men

i always bring a book if i have sit in public transportation but rarely have to these days. i think it's a mistake to think anyone cares about you reading a book, i remember past threads here anons saying theyre to self conscious to read in public, no one cares bro

>>24471428
I finished The Crying of Lot 49 and immediately wanted to reread it high. How is Inherent Vice, btw? I heard it's similar to The Crying of Lot 49, but worse quality. The other Pynchon book I'm thinking of picking up is Vineland.

>>24472194
I live in NYC. So maybe that has something to do with it. You think OP is joking about PR in cafes? I have a fishing spot in Brooklyn that is a complete shithole. I walk one block and the coffee shop is all white furniture and people in small hats reading books while posing at each other

>>24472281
It's alright, did not love nor hate it, still his best would be GR, M&D and AtD pick one of those.

bump

>>24472200
Women do care when I read in public and ovulate when they see me doing it

>>24474316
This

>>24471584
I've read Finnegans Wake in a pub, it enhanced the experience. Especially after a few drinks and foreigners speaking next to you.

hoe aboot 100 threads