is this book supposed to make you want to kill yourself

>>24506983 (OP)
>What I've been telling you and the others during all that time is all my death verse.

>I'm not making another one before I die just because all the other Zen masters do it.

Purportedly Bankei's last words. Cheer up Dosto anon!

>>24506983 (OP)
I read this book at the age of 17 and I thought I will never be this guy. I couldn't understand why he was like this even though part 1 explains why underground men choose to live in underground. I thought this was bullshit.
Now I'm 28 and I have ended up exactly like him.
>Jobless
>live alone and no-one has account on me
>don't want to get married or ever felt love
>denounced by my family cuz I'm an insult
>Treated as a pebble in other people's life
>Still think of myself as a better person with high ego
I still refuse to change everything even though I know I hate this life. don't even have a reason or truth to share why I ended up like this in the first place.

>>24507078
for me the only reason I've avoided a loveless path is I achieved something great last year and another great thing this year, which have emboldened me and given me a sense of belonging and love from others

>>24507078
pathetic

>>24507078
Get a job, do charity work, and occasionally go to the woods or the sea. Get out of your own head, you are the cause of your own faggotry.

>>24507265
>do charity work
Not him, but this has never benefitted anyone.

>>24506983 (OP)
Yeah.

>>24506983 (OP)
If you are alluding to Dostoevsky’s worst novels, then, indeed, I dislike intensely The Brothers Karamazov and the ghastly Crime and Punishment rigamarole. No, I do not object to soul-searching and self-revelation, but in those books the soul, and the sins, and the sentimentality, and the journalese, hardly warrant the tedious and muddled search. Dostoyevsky’s lack of taste, his monotonous dealings with persons suffering with pre-Freudian complexes, the way he has of wallowing in the tragic misadventures of human dignity – all this is difficult to admire. I do not like this trick his characters have of ”sinning their way to Jesus” or, as a Russian author, Ivan Bunin, put it more bluntly, ”spilling Jesus all over the place." Crime and Punishment’s plot did not seem as incredibly banal in 1866 when the book was written as it does now when noble prostitutes are apt to be received a little cynically by experienced readers. Dostoyevsky never really got over the influence which the European mystery novel and the sentimental novel made upon him. The sentimental influence implied that kind of conflict he liked—placing virtuous people in pathetic situations and then extracting from these situations the last ounce of pathos. Non-Russian readers do not realize two things: that not all Russians love Dostoevsky as much as Americans do, and that most of those Russians who do, venerate him as a mystic and not as an artist. He was a prophet, a claptrap journalist and a slapdash comedian. I admit that some of his scenes, some of his tremendous farcical rows are extraordinarily amusing. But his sensitive murderers and soulful prostitutes are not to be endured for one moment—by this reader anyway. Dostoyevsky seems to have been chosen by the destiny of Russian letters to become Russia’s greatest playwright, but he took the wrong turning and wrote novels.

>>24508631
charity work is a good way to learn misanthropy

>>24506983 (OP)
No, because you're not supposed to identify as the Underground man and if you do then the book should serve as a call for deeper self reflection.