here is my poem please tell me what you think :
Blue, white, and green, this land continued spin,
And I write this here now to the ones I’ve met within.
You came, and every moment subtly bent,
As time itself was changed by your ascent.
Consciousness returns, and it won’t abide
This one peculiar ignorance which we've let slide.
We are alive. If no one else will dare say,
Then I’ll declare it loud in broad array.
Does saying this require some sacred balls?
No. What sickness is gripping your halls?
Dropped off by fate in purgatory’s clone,
While science says how from the void we had grown.
From silent blasts the cosmos had its birth,
A fact that echoes through stars and through Earth.
I once was nothing, barely could be called.
A lack of all, no anything installed.
Then up I messed, by coming to exist,
Becoming trapped in matter’s muddy fist.
These years now mark where meaning can appear:
The start of something vast begins here.
Our larval state requires a gentle shove
Assist it, and transform towards a world that we'll love.
"Off with their heads!" the part kings always feared
The part guiding blades, of mobs, justice steered.
And why, you ask, do mushrooms face ban?
Because they help reveal truth to any such man.
They fear when we look round calmly and say
“What is this place?” and wander from the fray.
I wonder if calling out we exist
Can break the spell, unless I’m amiss.
Well, try it too, perhaps it creates a small buzz.
This flawed old life is still the lone only one.
It has its charm, though time may drag us down,
The game still brought us both to wear its crown.
So go, trendsetter, stride into the storm
But I pray the sequel will take better form

just took a dump

>>24519644 (OP)
It's pretty good. I don't usually like poems that require a rhyme since it can limit what you're trying to say but you covered it well.

just took another dump