This month has flown by. Can’t wait to see what you've all got in store!

The Character and Theme requirements of Lit’s writing competition will be released in this thread tomorrow Saturday 10am UTC

You will have until Monday 7th Midnight 11:59pm UTC to write and submit.

SUBMISSION COUNTDOWN:

https://www.tickcounter.com/countdown/7452785/my-countdown

Submit via rentry.co – you can change the url of your submission to your story name to be identified easily.

Your writing must reflect the Character and Theme requirements – the character requirement doesn’t have to be your main character and the theme can be creatively interpreted, but those who just ignore it will not be voted for.

3k word count maximum. no one wants to read your novel.

To submit, reply in the thread with your rentry.co url using a tripcode (Namefield: Name + “#” + Password).

If you submit you should leave meaningful feedback for at least two other stories. Try to put in what you want back. There aren’t many places on this planet to get raw, no filter feedback, and it’s the best way to keep sharp and improve.

If you submit you MUST vote. If you don’t vote you will be taken off the ballot.

Once you have voted PLEASE reply ‘voted’ in the thread.

You CANNOT vote for yourself.

Submitters: When you vote on the strawpoll, use your trip when it asks for your ‘name’.
Anons: you can still vote, just make sure to reply ITT first, then use your comment no.# as your ‘name’ in the strawpoll.

When you vote, remember, it’s ranked polling. We are going to go back to 1st 2nd 3rd place voting.

The strawpoll will be released when submissions close. You will then have until next Friday 11th Midday GMT to read, vote and most importantly CRITIQUE

Good luck writers, readers and red-headed retards all!

P.S. Dealing with shitposters, autists and rule breakers. Let it reflect in the critique and the vote. Ignore bullshit and give feedback to the ones who have tried. Anything obviously over the line will just not appear on the strawpoll.

yay

I was too late to participate last month, so I've been keeping a close eye out for this month's. Glad I caught it in time, it's been a while since I wrote a short story.

How do you come up with the character and theme requirements?

>>24520262 (OP)
Sad, I wasn't able to submit last time (my story went 2X over the word limit and I didn't have enough bandwidth that week to offer the required criticism). But excited to try out some new methods this time around!

gonna try not to be a lazy procrastinator this time

>>24520783
Ai prompts, that's why every single one of them is utter shite

Voted

ON YOUR MARKS!

Theme Requirement:

Wrestling with the tension of opposites.

Character Requirement:

Must include a religious fanatic

GO!

>>24522845
Preparing now for half a dozen “fully human, fully divine” stories. Perhaps we’ll get a Marxist-dogma-as-religion story from some especially clever boy

>prompt 1 hour early for utc
>switch to gmt for strawpoll deadline
??

>>24523021
yeah sorry that's a copy past mistake. UTC from now on.

Does it need to be politically correct? Since it includes a religious fanatic, I want to know if some angry muslim is going to come chop off my head for the story.

>>24523187
you can be as offensive as you want but getting you head chopped off by an angry muslim is something we all need worry about regardless

>>24522845
Good theme mate

https://rentry.co/whoholyfools

>>24523232
This is really good. I like the style. And amazed you wrote it so fast.

>>24523363
good to see you back! looking forward to your piece

>>24522845
Wow this prompt is perfect for the story I've been wanting to write recently, must be providential.

https://rentry.co/ruvas6sv

Disclaimer: please don't crucify me for the historical liberties (read: inaccuracies) I've taken. This is pulpy fiction written and researched in under 24 hours. Miserere mei.

>>24523363
Danke

>>24523950
Very delicious, in all of its levels and rooms. Skilful to drive the story with dialogue in such a way and for the dialogue to be both contemporary yet historically palpable. My only critique would be that, at times, both Newton and Barbara speak in the same voice. Now write your novel. Any other stories we can read?

TWO entries already! I'm just spinning around looking at my monologue fragments and seeing what I can pull together. This month is strong out the gate

>>24524065
Appreciate the positive feedback, especially from you.

Here's the one I wrote last month but never submitted (because it was too long and cringe): https://rentry.co/34yikei2

>>24523950
>https://rentry.co/ruvas6sv
this is right up my street

>>24522845
>new theme panders to the lowest common denominator!

No ideas. No motivation. No self-discipline. It's over. Carry on without me.

>>24526237
Anon, I will carry you like an eagle from mordor, but only after you have completed your burden.

>>24523232
I'd like to say something nice... and uplift a fellow anon...

But a few paragraphs in and all I can say is dreck. I was really hoping for better from the new guy.

Since it's so early can anons submit revisions? I want to believe there's a nugget of gold to this story or at least SOMETHING. It's practice after all. Could be this was rushed.

This month I'm feeling pretty confident. Monologue might turn into a duologue. Maybe trilogue? You'll see.

mindboggling take. don't listen to him torus, your story is platinum

>>24526739
>Nomenklatura+77

lies, this is not me, another anon took my name and posted this. Reveal Thyself.

The real Nomenklatura+77 here, those other two anons are impostors, but I mostly agree with the first impostor.

>>24520262 (OP)
https://rentry.co/imr7crqw

I want my 5 minutes back.

>>24527044
^^^^^fake^^^^^^
but I hope my other other doppelgangers all want to collaborate on some dialogue.

>>24527068
that's why hiding your trip code is dumb those unique numbers are helpful

>>24523232
I like the use of the holy fool.
Didn't read yours until after I wrote mine but since fool is in your link I probably 'borrowed' my usage of fools from you.

I'm a sinner, what can i say?

>>24527068
It would be a weird monologue unless you want to drop the pretense of being me.

>>24520262 (OP)
Do you want it double or single spaced?

>>24523950
I couldn't help but imagine Isaac Newton was played by this guy. Parts of it were interesting, good use of images.

There, feedback on 2 others, I've fulfilled my end of the bargain.
There, thats

>>24527278
fuck, a typo,
not deleting, you get my point.

>>24527275
just fucking write wtf kind of gay ass question is that?

>>24527127
Use a trip or trolls will continue to take advantage

>>24527327
Kys fag, it matters, not familiar with this thing

>>24527332
>samefag
Pathetic.

How do you weed out slop writing?

>>24527346
Submit via rentry - not sure if rentry.co even has an option for line spacing. it always looks good on the screen, they don't squash it.

>>24527332
yes i concur

>>24527380
with votes and critiques.

>>24527332
How about you act with a little decency? Why you'd blame me when I'm the one being trolled is simply cruelty. What a joke.

>>24527493
Yodo, can't you do something about this?

>>24528004
>mommmm! they are being mean! make them play nice!

>>24528004
>>24528010
Ha. Ha.

>>24527332
>Use a trip or trolls will continue to take advantage
Thank you, I didn't realize what a trip was. Should be sorted now. Hopefully this is over with.

Good luck everyone, looking forward to reading! Time for me to lock in.

The real Nomenklatura+77 here, ignore >>24528021, this is my real trip.

Would the real Nomenklatura please post a screenshot (in Word/Libre/whatever) of the story they submitted a few months back?

We need a third entrant to fill the podium.

>>24524220
Not that cringe: the Quiet protest is just the kind of boycott you'd expect today or tomorrow, like slacktivists changing their pfps to show "solidarity". Your prose remains pretty fucking impeccable imho; there's something admirable or impressive in practically every sentence of your story. So good job man, I wouldn't turf The Quiet just yet. But if you were going to revise, I would definitely shorten the parents v teachers scene (a bit repetitive and expository, slowing the pace and distracting from the main point: Henshaw's intro to the MC) and limit the repetition of all the grey/beige monotony. Still: good stuff, and the Newton story is very well done too. Keep it up.

>>24528636
Here you go, this is my story from May. I wrote directly to Rentry in markdown.

>>24529444

honored to have a troll who puts in the effort to look up old stories, but still fake! I'll verify if I can actually make the deadline this time!!

>>24529444
doubt. edit the first line to say 'i'm the real nomen' then save and post the link here

>>24528636
This

>>24529571
you can tell this one is fake because they are trying to copy the unique trip after but they actually typed out the other unique one, so it's in bold and not thin like everyone elses. Now we know who is legit and who is the troll.

>>24520262 (OP)
>https://www.tickcounter.com/countdown/7452785/my-countdown

>countdown is over
>Monday 7th Midnight 11:59pm UTC
huh

Don't we still have about 4 hours and 20 minutes?
Midnight (11:59pm) in London, right?

>>24529663
yeah we got time. I did say UTC which is actually an hour behind London which is fucking annoying but yeah, we got about 5 hours actually.

not many stories so far, anyone else still writing?

>>24529926
>anyone else still writing?
Yes

>>24529926
I know there's a couple still working and will post last minute

https://rentry.co/subtractingthethree

i apologise in advance

>>24530031
Fingers crossed. It's a been a hot month and I hope that everyone who hasn't turned up this month is out enjoying themselves. Just us nerds this time. FYI about an hour left!

>>24520262 (OP)
Bah, maybe next time. Didn't have any good ideas for the theme anyway.

>>24530187
an hour and ten minutes. Come on. Bang one out.

>>24530182
I've got a good story but my middle pacing sucks ass and don't want to waste everyone's time.

>>24530196
you're not going for a pultizer. think of this of a great place to get feedback so you can make a good story even better later.

If I still have an hour, I may proofread and tweak, so maybe don’t read until then—just posting now for safety.

https://rentry.co/QED_by_ineptia

As always, good luck to all!

>>24530224
>https://rentry.co/QED_by_ineptia
where have you been hiding?

>>24520262 (OP)
Thank you for organizing! This was fun.

https://rentry.co/YAKUB2025

fuck me im knackered. next month will be London time. 20 mins to go everyone then I'll post the strawpoll.

Remember, please comment using your trip 'voted' once you have voted on the strawpoll.

Anons, if you want to vote, comment 'voted' first, then use the # of your comment as the name on the strawpoll.

>>24530121
[[I think the tranny angle is great, and I felt that this story got better as it went along. The introductory paragraph, I thought was bad. I think starting with the second would have been better. The first, for me, gave slam poetry vibes. Though I think some of the ideas in it are worth keeping, and there were some satisfying moments. It did give a good sense of someone's inner thoughts spiraling. The split screen works well in the first paragraph There is a very strong sense of brokenness throughout. The ending was strong.]]

>>24527051
I think this could have been interesting if it was more developed. It did make me laugh, but I think it would have been funnier if there was a bit of a lead up, but I like the idea

Made it

https://rentry.co/7grnz3wz

https://strawpoll.com/GJn446rL3nz

VOTING BEGINS!

Thanks everyone, we until friday to read, critique and vote.

>>24530369
HHHMMMMMMMMMMM
jk man, i'll put you on strawpoll now

>>24530372
>https://strawpoll.com/GJn446rL3nz

Did I make it?

>>24523950
I agree with everyone else's compliments. Though I don't think it matters much for this story, I disagree with the idea that the greatness of great men "festers on their wound." I wonder if you actually think this. Even though I disagree, it did not bother my reading of the story, which was enjoyable, and i think the image of the boy worked very well for Newton. I am impressed by your dialogue, and the way you build tension with it. How did you come to this topic?

>>24530376
haha that "Please wait a while before making a post" got me stressing

>>24530383
trust, i've been hit with the 300 seconds at a time like this

>>24520262 (OP)
Goddamn it, I checked the board at the start of the month and didn't see a thread for this so I assumed you guys had given up or imploded or whatever. Now I've missed it again.
Serves me right for coming in too early.

>>24530224
>If I still have an hour, I may proofread and tweak,
>Edit: 07 Jul 2025 23:59 UTC
Just in time, lol.
If you opened it, just hit refresh.

>>24530231
>where have you been hiding?
Hope you’re doing well, yodo. I’ve just been chilling.
Almost didn’t participate this time around, but seeing meteor come back gave me some drive.
And you demonstrated such grace for allowing NMNKLT in!

>>24530392
Set an alarm for Saturday, August 2nd—that’s the next one. Sorry, Anon.

>>24530403

had to wait 2 minutes to miss the deadline by 40 seconds. Thanks everyone.

>>24523232
I thought this was great. I felt well immersed in the atmosphere, and I think the tone and ideas were engaging. The climax came as a bit of a surprise to me. If that is what you intended, fair enough, but I can imagine some more tension and struggle being useful for the story. I especially liked the descriptions of bodies and decomposition

>>24530412
dont sweat it. pay us back by giving some damn good feedback okay?

>>24530403
>Set an alarm for Saturday, August 2nd—that’s the next one. Sorry, Anon.
Will do. But do you have a regular schedule for when you put these up? Is it first weekend of every month or something? Just like to know for the future, in case I miss the next one.

>>24530427
it's the first saturday of every month.

>>24530224
This one filtered me. I didn't really like it, and most of it was hard for me to follow and get through. My favorite moments were the descriptions of speed, and also the ending, which I also didn't fully get. I just didn't understand what was going on for the first third, and i think it is interesting to create a chaotic impression, to have the writing feel in flux, but I think there must be a way to clarify it more while keeping that effect. I am mixed on the separation of each line. I think it works for conveying jolts of energy, but I'm not sure why it is used for the entire thing. Although I didn't follow for much or it and didn't really like it, I think I can see what you are going for in general, and I think it is an compelling and ambitious idea, so I respect the attempt, perhaps others will enjoy it more

>>24530369
I liked the story as a whole, I liked the classic young man at sea, being twisted into something quite unique. I thought some of the sentences were clumsy. For example:

>At last night’s dinner, I guess the only one where everyone was unburned and I wasn’t the chef, Jean Ogamu asked me: “why you working if you attend College?”

I don't think the sentence between the commas does anything important here, and it weighs the sentence down.

Another thing I noticed:

>This morning Jean Ogamu’s big face leaned in close to my hungover body and said: “Breakfast Brian,” in the deep and breathy way that only people from Africa talk, “You don’t want to miss.” I take one step.

This feels out of place because it comes in the middle of a paragraph that is in the present tense, and I feel like it would have made more sense at the beginning of the paragraph, since it refers to when he woke up, which was presumably just a few moments ago, I'm not sure why you would start with his thoughts after he woke up, and then cut back to what just woke him up. I do love your description of the breathy african though, it is very accurate

I'm also not sure about ending on the sunset, I think ending on the cheering would have been better. The sunset seems a bit out of place as an ending note.

>>24530577
also in this sentence
>At last night’s dinner, I guess the only one where everyone was unburned and I wasn’t the chef, Jean Ogamu asked me: “why you working if you attend College?”
I think you can say "everyone was unburned and I was still a deck hand" I think "wasn't the chef" in this sentence does not flow so nicely

Voted

>>24530582
this line,
> "everyone was unburned"
line was meant to be absurdist funny but maybe it just didn't land. And I like ending on the brotherhood theme of acceptance more, because so much inner monologue is about attempting to awkwardly fit in and find family.


Thank you for the feedback

>>24530265

This story was wild! I am unused to reading this kind of, 3rd person stories that explain events and concepts spanning long amounts of time. However It’s very creative.The parts that really stood out to me, were when it mixed itself into the realm of human feelings, and when the complicated idea was unleashed into the world.

>Droyd remembered the city vividly, and he was proud to be returning to the place of his defeat in such magnificent strength. However, he was oppressed by a melancholy that the fent could not entirely wash from his veins. He was about to tear open a scar that had only recently healed.
And
>The young man broke into tears, partly on account of seeing Droyd for the first time, and partly because it was the first time he had ever been hit, and he had just noticed blood on his white shirt.

This was my favorite part, has a great amount of natural flow.
>he pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth, but, before he could make a sound, everything he had been taught, every promise he had made, every opinion he had formed, the words of his parents, his daily prayers, burst into his mind like a flash flood tearing every thought out of his head. The torrent of his faith smashed repeatedly into Droyd’s iron command, which rang in his head. He stood there with his mouth half open.

The ending summed it up nicely bringing it all back. Once again very creative, if I had any feedback, it would be to come to the story of Perry earlier and drop back on the exposition, as I think it goes on a tad too long as a concept that can better be explained through human interactions where I feel the stakes are high and I’m invested.

listening to other people makes you write like a dipshit

prove me wrong

>>24530121
This feels a bit too meandering of a free write but there are some very strong visuals and moments throughout, and is an interesting short read.
>It's a marriage without a baby. It's boobies without the motorboating mouth. It's a door and a lock without a key. It's the left and right brain without the holy split down the middle. It's the idea and the execution but without the other to make sense of it. Heaven and hell, okay,
Another nice bit of writing, and tension, a lot unsaid here
>No, the scars are on the inside of my thigh, not my wrists but anything below the waist father can't bring himself to talk about.
The ending ties is together
>I have placed the key in the keyhole so his eye cannot see through the hole.
As if they are rivals, but I think some advice would be to introduce the father as an antagonist earlier, set him up as a rival so the ending hits even harder.

>>24527051
>https://rentry.co/imr7crqw

Obviously short, but I don't think it needs to be much longer as it works well for what it tries to do.

Not much else to say here, funny, with a ton of references that a layperson won't get but in any case, the catholic poets with with a sense of humor have something to look forward to.

https://rentry.co/t5e3yzwr

too late, of course....perhaps some of you kind fellowes might still give it a read, should the mood strike????
if I receive no (you)'s, as I expect will be the case, I intend to create a thread of my own, which I'm sure will garner at least a few remonstrative replies--to wit, "stop shitting up the board," "/wg/ is that way, retard."
matters not, I seek dopamine and, to that end, a hearty "kys" is as good as an insightful effortpost

>>24530801
Thank you for your thoughts! Yes, I agree the exposition was a bit overdone.
>>24530624
You're welcome, I enjoyed reading it!

>>24530972
I don't know how to respond to this. It did make me laugh at times, but I would suggest cutting back on the high flown language, and making less puns.

whoever is calling themselves 'burpleg' on the strawpoll, please identify yourself otherwise i will have to remove your vote.

>>24530224
>https://rentry.co/QED_by_ineptia

It feels like you wrote the story you wanted. Even though I didn’t fully understand it all, but this was a coherent stylistic choice which I respect. The overly verbose wording and line spacing works together well. However, at moments I lost the plot and had to reread multiple times and even look up words.

A suggestion is make the first 3 paragraphs clearer, or when action switches, to a new event or concept. Also, is the spacing exactly how you want? Seems fun to play around with, instead of two lines make it three, or several longer paragraphs. You will filter some readers with writing such a unique piece but perhaps gain a lot more who love this kind of work.

These are some passages I felt were very imagistic and strong.

>The point shot past hosts of conic ranges, billowed over shimmering arrays, and needle-holed through looming tessellations of staggering intricacy.

>After only a couple dozen iterations of trying to occupy it, the locus half-collapsed from the point’s heat and strength, and then the point was truly with and without place—the coordinate was still there, but at the same time it wasn’t

>>24523232

The writing is very good in this one, it feels like you expand on smaller ideas to give the reader a bigger picture in a way that unfolds naturally.

Despite being unfamiliar with this world, I am drawn in through clear writing like this.

>The bell sounds at three. It is hewn from the barrel of a great forest tree and its sound carries through the blackness, waking the sleepers and those beyond sleep. I wake and make water and moult from my dream and stand before the door of my kuti and watch the white electric torchlight of the monks as they trace the procession of sulphuric lamps that hangs above the stair.

And once again, very good visual narrating of our place with small touches to make it real.

>In the back of the great candlelit hall I take my appointed place amongst the other novices and foreigners. Above our mats mosquito nets hang from hooks like wedding dresses. At the front of the hall sits a massive statue in dull gold and before it our figures in long broken rows like lesser reflections.

I enjoyed the rising tension of the gunshots and the base, it gives a sense of menace to the story and keeps me entertained that something terrible will happen. The ending is tricky for me, because you clearly have a plan of some kind and it feels like you bring everything full circle, but what exactly happened? Do I just not know enough about Burmese Buddhism to “get it.” Overall though extremely clear and strong writing is your strength.

>>24523950

This is some great world building at the very beginning. Seems like you have a clear vision of this ancient place in your mind and the story starts from a strong visual place that gives the reader a visceral sense of belonging to it.

As the story progresses, I was very impressed by the build up in tension, the setting of the stakes and wanting to know what will happen next. Sometimes a back and forth conversation can be dry, but little details, like,

>"Of course." She folded her hands, the chains settling with a small sound. "Though I wonder what brings the author of Principia to question a coiner. Perhaps his... other pursuits."

>"Perhaps." She examined the shafts of light falling across the floor. "Though it seems wasteful. To destroy knowledge for the sake of... what? These little discs of metal?"

Keep us grounded in reality while still allowing the main ideas to flow. The actual tempting knowledge, the actions which will produce this forbidden state are impressive in esoteric detail. I have no idea what this means:

>"Then comes the washing," she continued. "Seven times, like Naaman in the Jordan. Each time the black lightens. Gray, then white, like ash becoming salt. But the secret--" She paused. "The secret is patience. The fire must be gentle. Too hot and the matter rebels, turns red too soon, becomes false cinnabar instead of true stone. The white must come slowly, like dawn after the longest night."

but I believe it is true to their own world and very believable. The story feels like a clear coherent vision of what you wanted to say. The only criticism, if I can even call it that, is the ending where Newton turns his back, and says no to the great calling. Maybe this works in a longer piece, where he eventually does, give in to the prohibited call of science, but it just feels a little damp, to raise such an issue, and then snub it and end on that note. An alternate end where he accepts her offer could be highly entertaining but either way. Great work.

>>24531531
das me

voted,
very strong story from Meteor, and Yakub had a most original idea. Strong writing this month.

voted!

Critiques will come soon.

Vote for your favorite illustrations of last month’s /lwc/.

“Winning Stories” poll:
https://strawpoll.com/40Zm4NXokga

“All Stories” poll:
https://strawpoll.com/3RnYXv4MBye