>>24534807 (OP)My favorite book, read it at 29 for the first time. What can I tell you, the whole thing just makes me the perfect kind of sad. He looks for something in places and people, but it's never enough, and never something he can hold on to. He lost his big brother at 4 to illness, lost his best friend at 22 to WW2, his family was poor, his faith was strong but his lust was stronger, he was deeply introspective but also addicted to the life in display in places of sin, because he felt something there. Still he resented the friends that fed this part of his.
Nothing about what he does in the books matters to me. It's the reason he went and stayed and left and went back again unable to put his finger on what's wrong with him, his friends, the world, unable to find a purpose in the mess of his life that pulls me.
There, this was my only OTR-shilling post for the week. See you on monday.