I want to create something beautiful before I die. All my life I have been a mindless consumer, with the exception of a brief tenure as a Jazz Guitarist in the Army. Perhaps I should just stick to music.

In my mind's eye I visualize plenty of scenes. An old man plotting revenge in a old house by the coast, a retired military officer leading an expedition into the unknown for his fame fortune and glory, a couple of lovers in a dreary Midwestern town driven apart by circumstance. I know these are not groundbreaking ideas for a novel.

Yet, everything I write is shit. I don't know how to plot a course for my stories. I can think of eloquent vivid descriptions of scenes and people. I can think dialogue that reads fine, as long as I know what both parties are communicating.

When I stare at a blank page, I ask myself what do I really want to say? Most of the time I don't have an answer for myself. I fall back into depression and back into my instant gratification. My you-tube shorts, video games, and I won't even properly practice guitar (I just turn on a backing track and improvise)

Perhaps I get discouraged before I put real time into an idea. I compare my work to other author's who put in full time hours consistently while I dwell on an idea for an hour tops.

Maybe I need to learn systems for story telling. I couldn't improvise on my instrument until I learned how keys and modes worked, the harmonic functions of the chords in songs, and trained my ear to tell these things in real time.

It doesn't help I have ADHD, Severe Depression, and PTSD (none of this is from the military, it is from my family and being homeless as a youth). My brain can't focus and jumbles all over the place. I do things all or nothing and

Maybe I should seek a mentor and some meds for my ADHD. I used to think mental health was fake and gay for weak people, and boy how the tables have turned as I have become one of them. Additionally I will be retiring in my mid 20s due to a TBI I suffered on active duty that makes me sensitive to light and sound which makes it really fucking hard to be a professional musician.

Thanks for reading my blog post anons. Call me a faggot if you want or give me genuine advice and I'll consider both.

What a coinkydink. You are literally the protagonist of my novel. Obviously, your backstory details don't match the character's, but your plight (wanting to write, hating how bad it is, seeking a cheap way to improve) is exactly the same. Trippy, man.
Anyway, Shia LaBeouf can tell you exactly what you need to do to improve your writing:
https://youtu.be/ZXsQAXx_ao0?si=bDkyIrN74_yfTndW
(and also read plenty of books)

>systems for story telling
Be cautious down this path. Another way to say this is "formulaic writing" and it's widely frowned upon (though many disagree about what it is).

>>24536303
I am afraid of becoming overly formulaic in my writing, but also I am such an airhead without a roadmap for my story i will wonder arpund aimlessly and spend 3 pages describing a room and the people in it.

I am interested in your novel. You character wants to write, but can't bring himself to. How are you gonna make this a book? What is the setting? What inspires him to write? Why can't he? How does he overcome this challenge or fail it? Who does he meet along the way?

These are all types of answers I need about my story before I start writing.

>>24536282 (OP)
Just write flash fiction, why does the first thing you write need to be a novel or even short story?

>>24536282 (OP)
>a Jazz Guitarist in the Army
Holy shit, what unit was that?
Were you ever deployed to a seedy basement nightclub in Paris?

>>24536872
nope I was just stationed in the midwest, where I am from lmao.
I never even wanted to be a guitar player. I wanted to learn the piano but my parents refused to give me lessons so I learned by ear off an old acoustic in the attic.

So far it has paid for 2 years of college and I am living pretty comfortably. I study biology and wish I didn't.

>>24536282 (OP)
Eliminate short-form content. TikTok, Instagram, Youtube, Twitter. If you disable watch history on Youtube it effectively disables Youtube Shorts, but it would be better to stop using Youtube completely if you can. Uninstall the apps. These completely wreck your attention span. Luckily it is pretty easy to build back (it might be different with your ADHD). When you want entertainment your first instinct should be to read, not mindlessly scroll. If you read every time you are bored for a week you'll find it a lot easier.
For writing you literally just need to do it, there is no magic solution. Set a timer, don't use a thesaurus, a dictionary, the Internet, or anything else for the time you want to write. If you do research do it before writing, you shouldn't be looking things up while writing--it's okay to get it wrong and fix it after. Maybe set the timer to fifteen minutes so you feel pressured to simply get something on the page before the timer runs out.
>i will wander around aimlessly and spend 3 pages describing a room and the people in it.
I think you are editing while you write. Don't do this. Finish your first draft, whether it's a short story or it's a novel and you're simply filling in the outline, and edit after. It's okay to waste pages describing stuff. Best case you cut two pages while editing and get a page of something worthwhile. Worst case it was good practice.
I think you stare at blank pages because whatever you have in your head doesn't sound as good when you put it to pen, and you want to be perfect. This is completely normal, and it's because you're a poor writer. The only solution is to write. You need to break that pride and accept you are a shit writer and the only way to improve is to write more. You will write 1000 pages of garbage before you write a sentence worth anything.
For some reason it's more accepted for artists that it will take thousands of drawings before they can draw, painters paint thousands of paintings before they can paint, but writers think they can bang out a novel first try and it will be perfect. It doesn't work like that.

>>24537495
>>>24536282 (OP) (OP)
Eliminate short-form content. TikTok, Instagram, Youtube, Twitter. If you disable watch history on Youtube it effectively disables Youtube Shorts, but it would be better to stop using Youtube completely if you can. Uninstall the apps. These completely wreck your attention span.

This is the number one thing that has been killing my potential since I was a teenager. Even when I force myself to be productive it is just to make myself feel better before I jump back into the world of instant gratification.

I perfectly accept I am a dogshit writer. I sucked at music for 12 years before I got my first steady professional gig as a musician. A big difference is, it is alot easier for me to practice music. I can mindlessly run scales while a youtube video is running, i can do intervals in the car, i can just turn on a random backing track and improvise. All of this helps me become a better musician with little effort.

I want to write because writing is the antithesis of my nature. I like short form content, instant gratification, all or nothing (some days i practice 14 hours and not touch my instrument for the next 2 weeks outside of gigs), to be a better writer I need time management, consistency, and a vision. Unfortunetly, I have scenes and charaters in my head but I don't know wha tto do with them or where to go.

>>24536282 (OP)
>>24537495
>>24537849
Real answer besides the classic "stop using your phone/apps" discourse is to completely stop thinking about yourself. Just fully stop it. Rewire your brain into thinking outwards and not inwards.
>All my life (I have been) a mindless consumer
>Yet, everything (I write is shit. I don't know how) to plot a course for my stories.
>When I stare at a blank page, ((I ask myself what do I really want)) to say?
>Maybe (((I need to learn))) systems for story telling. (((I couldn't improvise))) on my instrument until I learned how keys and modes worked
Jesus christ, stop thinking inwards. Nothing in this world was made just for you, and every skill you currently have is a product of interest, investement and commitement. Nothing else.
>It doesn't help I have ADHD, Severe Depression, and PTSD
ADHD is a mindset, you need to understand how your brain works instead of reflecting about yourself. How long can you stay focused? Do you need a specific ambience to be more productive? Which one of your senses is the most distracting? Understand and accept yourself, that comes first. Depression and PTSD can be managed with therapy or self-delusions, do not waste time chaning or thinking about things that you can't change anymore.
>I used to think mental health was fake and gay for weak people
This line of thinking is because sometime in the past you felt strong and capable, remember those moments. Mental health is real and so is psychotherapy but is more effective when you lost all your individual sense of movement and drive.

Get to work, practice until you're tired and finish stuff. Small, short, big, complex, any type of goal. Only think about yourself in the first hour of the day and the last. Think about your work only when you finished it. MOVE. Never think you're good or bad on what you do, never. Just trust your instinct and taste, this is what truly makes anything you do unique to you.

>>24538273
The only dangers of this is the potential development of narcisism and individualism but every sucessful artist is like this to some extent. Defend and fight your work and taste, not yourself. Your body is a tool for your mind, make the most of it. Believe anything you want as long as it keeps you moving foward.

t. "recovered" adhdfag who wasted to much time thinking about bullshit.

>>24538273
>>24538273
this is good advice, eliminating the sense of self and only thinking about the work will lead to more output and less neuroticism, which lately has been a block.

Still, without structure any story will fall flat. Is there any resources you would recommend?

>>24538475
Take a pen and draw your structure, enumerate your key events/plot twists/ending and such. Can be the typical hero's journey to something more convulted like alternate timelines, etc. This should be the bones of anything that you write/plan. It's your job to make it entertaining or cool, that's the meat. I might be wrong here but sure that sucessful writers write around an interesting idea/moment rather than an interesting story. Think about your favorite film or book and take inspiration of what you enjoyed, and if you didn't, deconstruct that scene with the intention of writting it better.

>>24538631
are there any books you recommend to study the structure of story?

Go outside and breathe in. That breathe was as substantial and long-lasting as anything else you could possibly create in this world.

>>24538700
Dude you just need to keep reading or watching movies until you see/watch something you like, you need to trust your taste, not what "The best novel structures of all time: Vol. XVI" tells you.

>>24536372
>How are you gonna make this a book?
I'm just doing it like he says in the video.
>What is the setting?
a city
>What inspires him to write?
history
>Why can't he?
hates the words
>How does he overcome this challenge or fail it?
first catches some illness but grows out of that
>Who does he meet along the way?
buncha kooky characters