Post a fake novel title and write a short synopsis for the title posted above yours
>Empty Dial Tones & Long Distance Hang-Ups

>>24553134 (OP)
>Empty Dial Tones & Long Distance Hang-Ups

Wracked with guilt for a crime he didn't commit, Colin dials the victim's family members every day to apologize. But, every day, he loses courage and hangs up at the first hello, if he even makes it that far.

Concurrently, in another city, a young woman tragically lost her boyfriend two months ago. Now, Kara calls his phone multiple times a day, knowing it'll lead to voicemail and she'll get to hear his voice. One day, feeling especially cold, she calls. But the voicemail doesn't play. Instead. dial tone. Her heart sinks. She tries again. And again. On her third try, it rings and rings-- someone picks up.

"Hello? Colin here, hello?"

new title:

>Dimorphism of the Stag Beetle

>>24553333
>>Dimorphism of the Stag Beetle
The year was 1956.
For five and a half months I had been waiting for a boat that could take me off the island.


>Where owls go to die

>Where owls go to die

I am a night walker. I have walked through old Tokyo to present day. From wooden machiya to glittering skyscrapers. But I am weary now. I will leave the city and leave my home. I will spread my wings and head to the mountains to abandoned villages and forgotten ghosts. I will rest.

>Crystal Field Theory

>>24553421
After being kicked out by his family for putting ketchup on a hotdog, a teenage boy from finds himself a vagrant on the streets of Chigaco. Struggling to survive, he hitchhikes all the way to San Francisco where he meets an Egyptian girl his age and gets wrapped up in a wild night of drug induced partying and mysteries of the ancient pharoahs.

>>24553134 (OP)
>The Penis was Key to our Malfunction

>>24553485
"This book saved our sex life! "

>>24553527
I'm sorry I can't do this one lmao

Someone needs to but I'm not the man for the job

>>24553457
After hearing tales from her grandfather of a mystical lake that appears somewhere in their wheat fields during the summertime, Sonya stays up one hot night hoping to see it.

>>24553564
>A Time To Thrill

>>24553485
"That's the last time I listen to /lit/. 0 stars"

I feel like the marketing blurb and recommendation quotes would be a better/funnier challenge
critics call it "a book"

>>24553134 (OP)
Playing with Dick
Richard Tribble is born as an idiot. His dull life of working as a grocery store bagger changes forever when he meets a young female moron with a penchant for young men with unfiltered senses of humor who happen to like Xbox. Bethany learns to enjoy playing Xbox with Richard. It’s part coming of age story and part erotic tease.

>>24553573
"It was the sickest of times, it was the most bummer of times, but hey, they were times ya know "

A tumultuous tale of surfer bros, hippies, and nomads handling an unsteady world while trying to enjoy it.

>Eggs yet no basket

>>24553485
An erotic comdey about a uptight set of gals trying to learn how to let loose, as a strange form of rebellion to their controlling father

>To Any End

>>24554100
Caught in a perilous love triangle between a criminal and the cop chasing him, a budding actress struggles to keep her grip on reality, hounded not only by the pressures of her work, but a vicious competitor...

>The Swine and Its Trough

>>24554462
>The Swine and Its Trough
My cousin Harry played fast and loose with with most things in his life except one, ironic that it was what eventually killed him, or at least that's what I thought until he left me the key to a secret safety deposit box in his will.

A dangerous thing to bequeath, I wish I'd never opened it.

You b****** Harry


>five billion lightyears

>>24553333
Kino

>>24553457
>Crystal Field Theory

The year is 2222. On the United States west coast lies New Port City, rebuilt from the ashes and debris of war. High tech, low life, body modification, genetic-tech, government surveillance, extreme disparity between economic class, pessimism and, of course, the newnet matrix: sys-decks and chip implants, data movement, porn, servers, lattices of memory, crypto-junkies and screen names.

Enter Arene: a data runner for hire who specializes in high profile jobs, dealing with the upper class and their "culture." These days, high culture is androgyny, dark flowing clothing and the rejection of gendered terms and roles. Arene has to fit in, feel ingrained with their lifestyle, formed by it, for most jobs.

Arene is in deep with the underground web of runners and crime. A job comes in from a name she doesn't recognize: Coulomb. In addition, a colleague and Arene's closest thing to a friend is dead and no one knows why-- or won't tell. Zone was experienced and smart, from Arene's perspective. How could Zone have gotten fragged?

In Crystal Field Theory, Arene must solve the mystery of Zone's death and Coulomb's strange job.

new title:
>The Judgment of Taste

>>24555962
thanks, you should write the story

>>24556190

>The Judgement of Taste

It's 1983 and Giorgio, desperate and on the brink of destitution, takes a job from the only place that will take him on: a shabby old diner on the outskirts of Danbury, Connecticut.

Possessing only a rudimentary sense of taste, Giorgio precariously attends to his work as a cook serving diners inhabiting the dark underbelly of America.

Not long into his job, one of the regulars, Mr. Wozniak--an elderly former mob lawyer--takes a peculiar and disturbing interest in Giorgio. As Mr. Wozniak creeps into his life outside of work, Giorgio soon develops a sensitivity to taste and smell that makes cooking and eating almost unbearable.

Desperate, and suspecting that Mr. Wozniak is behind it all, Giorgio confronts him and discovers that he must make a pact, a pact that finds him spiral downwards through a journey of violence, crime, the occult, self-delusion, and ultimately a fight for his soul.

New title:

>Carnal, Incarnate

>>24556818
>>Carnal, Incarnate

A rich young guy, simply refered to as the Kid, joins a elite club in Los Angeles where sex and drugs run rampant. Using his wealth he enjoys everything he can get his hands on, while in the process befriending a very prominent member of the club, Mr. Holden, who unbeknownst to everyone is actually the demon of Hedonism incarnate.

Slowly the Kid starts thirsting for something more, feeling maybe his lifestyle wont satisfy his true desires, while Holden trying to persuade him to stay.

Without the Kid's knowledge, a subtly intensifying spiritual battle is fought, which will determine the rest of his life.
>Surfaces, curves and the space inbetween

>>24557154
>Surfaces, Curves , and the spaces in between

A car crash results is Ashton gaining "acquired- savant-syndrome" at the age of 16. Nearly three years later and he still hasn't found a way to cope with it or any of the other various issues that sprouted up during his life.

Being able to expertly perform visual-geometric-calculus on anything and everything he see is more a problem than a skill and he apparently just has to figure it out on his own.

Ashton will have to learn eventually how to live with it, thay much is both obvious and inevitable.
But it's always the how that's the problem - especially if you don't have any realy help

>Journey to the Mircoscopic Realm.

>>24555008
>Five Billion Light years

Witness the story of a grand stellar empire rise, fall, cycle, and cease through the remnant signals that reach finally reached another stellar empire, that was 5 billion light years away from them

>A Trophy Father's Trophy Son

>>24557472
>>Journey to the Mircoscopic Realm.

One night turn of event changed this scientist life forever!

Meet Joe Joeson a 36 y.o. molecular scientist from Oklahoma; a man with potential, charisma, and is known for one of the finest biologist in the world today. Joe have everything that a man could ever want in this life; a good career, a good life, a house, a loving wife, a promising son and talented daughter, oh lets not forgrt his his beautiful golden retriever dog Sporty.... But... wait a seconr... that sounds to good to be true isnt it?

One night, after attending a scientist awarding event in Paris for his achievement in a newly discovered research of molecular space, Joe also discovered that his life, isnt as perfect as he think of. A night after returning home early, he discovered that his wife is having an affair with his best friend; a son that he was being proud of is actually gay and like men; a daughter that he cherishes on is sleeping with five different men every single week; and Sporty!? Oh no, Sporty has been ridden with amnesia that makes him forget who is Joe Joeson, his loyal and rightful owner!

Riddled with confusion, sadness, and anger, Joe Joeson began to scheme about his revenge; something that is vile, something that is inhuman, something that is... microscopical

Dont ever miss the adventure of this immoral mad scientist Joe Joeson in his quest of revenge and avenging his own self, soon in mass market paperback!

>Blue Phallus, Green Phallic

>>24557479
>A Trophy Father's Trophy Son

Jerry was perfect, lived in the big house with the white picket fence, won trophies playing baseball, became a lawyer, everything his parents had hoped for him. Naturally he would raise his son to be the same, he tries to emulate his parents' parenting, his wife is not comfortable with his psychopathic precision in this but goes along with it. It seems to be going well at first but there is something Jacks parents can't see, when they are not looking, which is only very rarely, he starts killing. It started with his neighbors cat when he was eight, now it's other guys from his school, his boss at his first little job his parents had arranged, the book ends with a car chase and a complete mental breakdown of Jack, he gets arrested and kills himself in the car by ripping open his tongue with the handcuffs.

>The Reason Richard walled his Garden

>>24557579
>The Reason Richard walled his Garden

Down in Hilichurl Lane, a new red bricked wall stood erected behind a normal lookin house in a normal lookin neighborhood. According to Richard Garry, the owner of that house, he was intentionally made this wall as to protect his garden. But what kind of garden that needs to be protected in a seemingly inaccessible and closed space walled by a red brick wall in every side of it? Regardless the reason, the red square room has been in Richard backyard for a quite some times now, capturing locals and neighbors attention to this peculiar sight. However, the peculiarity of that sight was doubled after several kids are reported missing and every single clue are pointing out to Richard' walled garden

>Counter Clockwise Clock

>>24557526
That synopsis sounds like the most 14 year old edgelords take on a given story there could be.
Like as if the invisible man did nothing but rape in a remake of the story, or The Boys series in general.

>>24553134 (OP)
Bump

>>24557746
>Counter Clockwise Clock

After his father's death, David returns from LA to his home in rural China, where he intends to sell his small watchmaking business. He expected nothing out of the ordinary, but after a visit from a mysterious black-suited agent, he discovers secrets about his reclusive father and his handmade clocks that threaten not just his comfortable life as a concert violinist, but the fate of nations.

>My Life in Airports

>>24559293
>My Life in Airports

Mom's a cosmetic surgeon, spends most of her time in LA. I "have" the spare room in her condo in Tarzana, but she puts me on a plane every other day my dad's in Manhattan.

Dad's a finance exec or something. All I know for certain is he's "always busy." I "have" the spare room in his condo on Park Avenue but I've always been more of a weapon in their failed marriage than I've been a son.

I meet interesting people at airports. Once, I was robbed of my pocket money and ipod during a layover in San Francisco, that fucking sucked. It's not all bad, I guess, I meet tons of girls.

I party, chase some inevitable high, forget what's on my mind, crash, terminal, then fly.

new title:

>Lies Polytonal

>>24557746
>Counter Clockwise Clock

His father always made weird things that only really made sense to him: a sideways mug, drawers the flipped open, brooms that were mops, mops that were broom, and most usually - clocks that turned counter clockwise.

His parents got divorced, he barely saw his father, and now that he was dead, he had to take care and clean up the old home.

Slowly but surely though, through the mess of weird trinkets and items, book and journals, and neighbors and strangers , he'll finally get to know his father after all this time.

>Beast of Mind and Soul

>>24557472
>visual-geometric-calculus
>mathlet detected
lamest thing you could have possibly done with the title I wrote

>>24557472
>>Journey to the Mircoscopic Realm.
lamest title ITT award

>>24560023
>Beast of Mind and Soul

In his seminal work, famed anthropologist Anon A. Anonson provides a comparative historical study of mythological approaches to cognition and connects them to the latest advancements in neuropsychology.

This edition is prefaced by Apu Apustaja and bundled with large appendices containing Anonson's related scientific publication is which he furthers his famous analysis of the "ka".

>Ten Thousand Years of Incompetence

>>24560483
>>24560485
is this one you:
>>24560557
because if so, we shouldn't be talking about lame
also bumping because this thread is fun

>>24560557
>Ten Thousand Years of Incompetence

In his seminal work, the famed academician of Uruk, Professor Rhomboyd, challenges humanity's place at the apex of biological supremacy on Earth. By comparing humanity's social functioning with lichen, bee, and white ant populations, Rhomboyd argues that modern man is perhaps the least evolved of Earth's species, the greatest mistake of Darwinian processes, and that it is humanity's blindness to this fact that ensures its perpetuation. Why has this book been mentioned as cause for over five thousand suicides? Buy me now to find out.

>St. Germain's Parabola

>>24560599
Following Pynchon's conspiratorial paranoia and Anton Wilson's guerilla ontology, anon delivers a blood pumping historical thriller.
Annabelle, a poor African-American Youth from the suburbs of Los Angeles was left jobless after graduating with a PhD in Religious Studies from UCLA due to the oppressive right wing regime and starts taking LSD and roaming LA streets at night as a way of coping. On one such usual walk during an usual ordinary night Anabelle stumbles onto a what seems to be a magical fight between two groups of people who looked awfully like medieval wizards. As the fight ends, a man is left dying, a man that Annabelle recognizes as one of the movers and shakers of international politics and a avid supporter of alien disclosure. Annabelle tries to help the dying man, but as she waits for the ambulance the dying man tells Anabelle's a story that triggers her academic training and pushes her to research the penumbra of the history of 19th century Romanticism and nationalism and occult societies of the 18th century. What Annabelle doesn't know is that the message that kickstarts her academic career makes her also a target of an international conspiracy that transcends space and time.

>Troon

>>24560652
>Troon

Years after decline and bankruptcy, idealistic American filmmaker Mark H Troon found himself ridden with debt, sadness, and drowsiness after multiple failure in his film career. Soon after being diagnosed with early stage of cancer, Troon refused all kind of therapy to the point where his ex wife failed to convince him to cure himself. Instead, the filmmaker decided to make one last film, to illuminate himself once again in the stage of hollywood and rekindle his long lost passion in filmmaking

>Red Brush Stroke

>>24560485
All of modern literature owes itself to pulp stories for making them potentially interest.
Just cause you can't see early 60's fun doesn't, doesn't me it's shit.

>>24560583
Nta but yeah, tunging soemthing called >Beast of mind and Soul" into a term paper is pretty boring

>>24561044
I thought about picking that one up but the only way I could have taken it is to make up some sort of furry lit thing, and that would have yanked the thread’s vibe in the wrong direction IMO
so I decided to go to bed instead and let someone else pick it up

>>24562750
I admire your honesty and good sense.
Thank you

>>24562964
the uplift of 4chan begins with the individual